The goal of this month's challenge picks up where last month left off. We're focusing on raising your SMV by becoming more outgoing and socially savvy, this time with the focus being on:

Make 30 minutes of small talk with women a day.

Hired guns, family, and coworkers do NOT count.

Every day you should be striking up short conversations with women. I don't care if it's 30 minutes with one woman, or 1 minute conversations with 30 women over the course of the day.

The places you speak to women can be just as varied as last month's challenge, such as elevators, walking to or from work, waiting for a light to change, shopping, and so on. Force yourself to say something, anything, and try to keep the conversation going by using my "Gift of Gab" tips in this thread which I've fleshed out below:

Simple ways to do break the ice are to ask for the time, comment on the weather, simply state "how about that game the other day?", or anything that comes to mind really.

Over the course of the month log how many women you made small talk with each day and what you said to get the ball rolling (if you even remember what it was you said). Above all else, do not stop being social with everyone.

Also, make a mental note of which types of comments work and which ones do not, and pay attention to the type of person each works with and doesn't. Reflect on this and use this insight for making small talk in the future as this will lead into the next month's challenge.

Gift of Gab

The key to keeping a conversation going is to realize nearly every statement has two topics (or more). Natural conversation isn’t just a series of questions followed by answers, it’s mostly statements spun off into new directions. This is the “gift of gab”. Just remember you’ve got to get off the topic you broke the ice with (openers) as quickly as possible, ideally within the first minute or so.

Natural conversations aren’t a series of yes & no questions, nor do they typically follow a linear progression. They transition, go off on tangents, and have a very dynamic flow. Don’t be afraid of using non-sequitors either. Another option is to make an observation. A great one for the purpose of transitioning is ACCENTS. Even if she doesn’t have one, that can be something you can use. Justify when you’re mentioning it and proceed as normal.

The baseline “secret” of making a connection is to tap into conversational topics that resonate with the other person. Having a few topics of conversation already in mind is good mental prepartion, but beyond the scope of this thread. For now I just want to focus on buiding that initial connection and rapport. Some ways of doing this are:

Relating your own experiences using THOUGHTS and EMOTIONS. For example, when telling a story don't just spit out a bunch of facts of events and what happened. Tell her what was running through your head and what you were feeling when the event occurred. Use analogies as well for things that women might be more familiar with (shopping & movies are huge).

Bad conversation:

My TV broke last weekend during the game so picked up a new one Monday after work and of course Best Buy sucked as usual.

Good conversation:

I was watching TV last weekend and just as my favorite team was making the last drive to tie the game it broke. Just...poof. Nothing. I was soooo frustrated. Have you ever been watching something you were so into and then your power or cable go out and you miss a really important part? Doesn't that suck? Worst still is when I went to Best Buy the sales people were no help. Ever been shopping and everyone sorta just ignores you? Hellooo! I'm right hear people! Talk about frustrating. You know what I mean? I just kept thinking to myself 'I wonder what would happen if I just made up some popcorn in the appliances section and kicked off my shoes and lounged on the couch and popped a movie into the display setup they have?' That would kick ass and you KNOW they'd come running to see what's up.

Get the idea? Thoughts, emotions, and use what I call "checking in" to see if they're following along:

You know what I mean... Have you ever...

You want them nodding their head, or even better...piggybacking on your conversation thread and injecting their own stories as they relate to yours. A good way of getting them invested in the conversation is opened ended questions. A few examples are:

What was that like? Really?

Past & future projections. Try and steer topics away from the present tense as we tend to resort to fact-mode, which is one of the fastest ways to make a woman’s eyes glaze over. Instead try to talk about fun things you've done in the past, or hope to do in the future. We tend to become much more animated and ourselfs energetic which keeps things lively. It’s also amazing how simple it is finding commonalities while painting the rich canvas of your life. The better you get at using emotional language that women can connect with, the more powerful your game will become. Granted it's not an always on thing. You will need to learn where and when to turn it on, and that comes from experience.

Open Ended Questions. If you ever get stuck just remember the gradeschool questions that were drilled into you since childhood:

  • What
  • Where
  • Why
  • When
  • How

Note: "Who?" is already covered--it's either you or the woman you're talking to.

These tips should give you a huge leg up on keeping the conversation going.