Summary: Swallowing the Red Pill is like a pendulum. But the way forward is also the way back.

 

Like many of you, I’m sure, my initial entry into TRP was an eye-opening experience. One in which I very quickly went from one end of the spectrum to the other. I saw the world in a different light, one in which the behaviors I had been taught were my very undoing. Like shooting myself in the foot every day. A shattering of beliefs. And the only way to react to such a massive revelation was to build massive walls. Call it the Anger Phase or whatever you want.

It’s a strange place, a strange time, where you no longer even trust yourself. Your own instincts are suspect, as are the motivations of everyone around you. The easiest, and simplest thing to do, is protect yourself in the coarsest way. A refusal to engage in behaviors you have in the past. For fear of being taken advantage of, or perhaps out of pure vitriol. All is suspect.

Sometimes, in those days, I would refuse to do nice things for people, for women. Even simple things that cost me little or nothing. Because I wasn’t sure where the line was. I had gone so long without boundaries, I had no idea what appropriate ones were. I was taught, in fact, to have no boundaries when it comes to women and their needs. As Pook said, I was taught to be the servant. Or from another perspective, as /u/Archwinger put it, I was nothing but a slave.

But of course, all of us (or at least most) eventually move past that phase. Out into the Depression and Acceptance phases, into a place of greater lucidity. A place where such rigid walls no longer seem a necessity. And that question of “boundaries” persists. The mythos of the Benevolent Alpha looms. The question of course is how to navigate that, and how to so without slipping back into some blue-pill beta self?

 

Can you be a “good person” and be red pill? /u/OmLaLa and /u/IllimitableMan ‘s excellent posts on Machiavellian approaches aside … this is not a question of “morality” (see the current stickied post). Rather, can you be a person who sees himself as “good”, a positive force in the world?

The ironic thing is that many of the principles that TRP preaches actually make the people around you happier. When you do TRP, and do it well, I have found that both myself and the women in my life are happier. My coworkers are happier. People feel more secure, safer around a strong alpha presence, a strong leader, a strong man. Most people prefer structure. They fear the unknown. They need a path to follow.

A TRP man, his strong presence, is such a path. And the irony is that doing the opposite of what I’ve been told all my life provides this. I was born to be a man. And in failing to be one, I was abdicating a sacred responsibility to myself and others. The world needs strength. Power. And men unafraid to wield it. Otherwise, all we have is chaos.

As such, TRP is really two sides of the same coin … one of anger, drive, and self-determination deep down within the core of men, and the other the ironic consequences that those things bring to the world, the structure and strength, and of course the “tingles” they produce. The real question then, as I moved into the latter stages of the Red Pill, became how to reconcile such individualistic self-determination with the inherent benevolence it produced.

 

So I’ll end with a little story/field report. I have a couple current plates, one around 22 and the other closer to 30 (I’m in my mid-30’s for reference). Very natural dynamic in these relationships, very paternalistic. Women are like children in many ways, after all.

So I helped the 22-year old move last week. In my earlier Red Pill days, this would be something I would outright refuse. Because obviously I fear being pigeon-holed into some sort of beta supplicant. But the reality is that she is relatively new to the city, doesn’t know a lot of people to help her, and I lift/squat/deadlift and all that shit, so carrying a few boxes is not that much effort (she doesn’t own much furniture here yet, except a bed). So I offered to help.

Now here’s the thing I’ve learned about such benevolence: I keep it in my frame. I helped her move, but did so on my terms. I came over when it was convenient for me. I took immediate control of the situation by asking what needed to be done. I didn’t wait around for orders. I just got shit done. Took the initiative. When she was unsure about some issue (e.g. where/to best load fragile items), I immediately offered a solution, a plan of action.

I like the 22-year old quite a bit, she has some LTR potential, so keeping it on my radar. Of course, there are no unicorns, my friends. But some are better than others. Doesn’t hurt she immediately got me food and fucked my brains out when we were done moving. I gave her the tingles not simply by helping her, but helping her my way. I helped from above, not below. And that is the real point here. The world is more nuanced than simply being an asshole or not being an asshole. Indeed, /u/AmericanHistoryAFBB pointed out on here just the other day that sometimes you gotta sprinkle a little sugar in with that asshole-ness. Or, as /u/NightwingTRP recently put it, having a realistic understanding of the world of modern men.

In short, I helped, but I helped as a leader, in a more alpha way. Not as a servant. Because as a man, your greatest gift to the world is your strong male presence. Own it.