So before I confess to you all my heinous sins, let me give you a little bit of context. A good six months or so ago a ended up ending it with my LTR of 6 months, after moving out of my nice large high-rise studio into a very small studio nearby. Basically I wanted to save up 40k by the end of the year. I was spending wayyyy too much on stupid shit. I was travelling a lot, over paying for an apartment I don't really need, and just wanted to cut back on expenses. After all, my line of work gave me intimate insight into many business books -- I had access to how their ENTIRE operation functions, from cashflow, infrastructure, acquisition, and marketing. So I was in a position where if I saved up enough cash, I could quickly clone any of these many businesses. The idea was to scale back my life style for greater future rewards.
Sin #1 -- Forgoing AWALT. That she'd forgo other options to stick it out. That by me changing, she'd accept it.
As you can imagine, she left me on some bitter terms. Tried to explain it wasn't about my lifestyle change, but people growing apart or some shit. But I knew what it was about. I noticed when the change started happening. And don't get me wrong, I don't think this is a solid case of AWALT, but having these lifestyle changes definitely diminish your situation and create a tougher game for yourself. Sure, not ALL girls are like that, however, it's always just going to be the most rational thing to play it like they are, because best worst case scenario, you keep frame and everything balanced, best case, she isn't actually like that -- but it doesn't matter, because you treated it like AWALT and therefor the challenge never even occurred.
Anyways, I decided it was a good time to take a break from women, and just focus on work. My social life the next six months, was pretty much just with work friends, work, light gambling every now and then, and occasionally getting really hammered at some random bar. But no real attempt at doing much other than save money.
Sin #2 -- Giving up an active lifestyle. Even in monk mode, it's important to keep a lifestyle of activity up to some degree. I'm now learning this, because you start to get rusty. I'll learn this the hard way later. But what I should have still been doing was getting out, and still being active. While I should have still avoided relationships and the likes, I should have still stuck with doing weekend activities like joining a hiking group, or MMA classes, while avoiding just fucking around with work friends.
I think this is one really overlooked part of going monk. Is yeah, you may have some goals you want to achieve, but it's important to stay sharp, and use that time to keep developing the other aspects of your life. For me, it was just about saving up money. But I should have also been developing other aspects of my lifestyle while I was at it.
So a few months into this, I'm realizing I may have fucked up and let the ball drop a bit. Too focused on work and money, and not enough focused on rounding myself out while I stay low.
Brothers this following part is why I'm writing this post
I've been part of PUA for maybe 3 months before finding TRP back in 2012. I've been here a while. And you'd think I'd have everything down pretty hard by now, which I typically do, but what I'm about to tell you is how I literally fucked up everything I've learned and preached in the past, by completely disregarding it by being caught off guard and rusty. I also think it's important that even EC's who've been doing this a while are prone to mistakes, and I think they should be discussed.
So I get back into the gym, and start going out occasionally to pick up chicks. It's hit or miss; a bit rusty. But I score dates every now and then, none of which I found caliber to go beyond a casual hook up. The pussy I was getting really wasn't worth the effort. One thing I found interesting was how hard really "faking it till you make it" is. It's really, really, difficult having an abundance mentality when you don't actually have an abundance. It's one thing to logically think, "Okay don't invest too much into this interaction, who gives a shit how it ends up" but once you actually start gaining some traction, it's hard not to think, "Oh don't fuck this up, you have no quality backups to fall onto tonight." No matter what, a little part of your brain is going to tell you after a small failure, "Fuck it dude, try another tactic, something is bound to work," which naturally starts creating a feedback loop of desperation.
I learned this lesson a good 2 months ago. I was at a concert after losing some friends and just started chatting up whoever late into the event. And had a blast. I was getting back into my groove, teasing girls, doing some light kissing here and there, and just sort of going with the flow and not really concerned where the night took me. I was sharpening up and getting into the natural rhythm of things. This eventually lead into meeting up with some people who brought me back to a celebrity's little entourage and compound of sort. Everyone there was super chill, and I was still not really giving a flying fuck about what happened -- just chatting up anyone and everyone.
That was until the HB9 sexy traveler who claims to be "22" (BS) started getting flirty with me 1 on 1 and dropping heavy IOIs. "Okay" I think to myself, "Haven't had a 9 get this aggressive in a while. This is good. I know this game well; let's play." And I'm really getting her attention, so much so that some random dude starts to get closer to our conversation and occasionally dropping in... "Alright, got an AMOG. I got it." At this point, the game is in full swing, and I'm very aware of it.
Sin #3 Overthinking things. If you start to over think things, it takes you out of your own frame, and into theirs. It creates a feedback loop. You will start becoming more concerned with how you should react, and how they react in response. "What's a good witty reply? How do I get her attention back? Okay, I lost that shit test, what's a good way to quickly regain my ground" All these things start to build up, and now you've removed all of your own personal sovereignty by REACTING to the actions of every one else around you. (Side note: Watch your alcohol intake. Booze can really push you in either direction. But when you aren't on point, it's just going to slow you down and dull your edges, likely making it harder for yourself because you WILL get sloppy)
Eventually this set started to crumble. I was too desperate for the HB9, that I starting trying too hard. I was too focused on "what was right" rather than just going with it. It all ended when the girl who was really into me at first, started slowly flirting with the other guy, and it started to become clear, I was losing out. So I cut my losses, swiped a bottle of wine, and took an Uber home right as sun was rising.
Sin #4 Putting the pussy on the pedestal. This was my big fuck up. I know, I know, it's fucking RP 101... Anyways I have a pretty awesome ex who I thought would be a good chick to call up. She legitimately is a really good person, but I made the mistake of, once again, forgoing AWALT. Due to our past, I figured I wouldn't have to play too many games, and she'd be a good person to try and spark things up with again.
Turns out, she got super hot, and literally checks off every little box in the type of woman I like. "Awww fuck..." If the HB9 from is any indicator, I'm sure you can imagine how this story will go. Right out the gate, I'm hooked: Big fuck up. We go out, and I'm all fucking over her like white on rice. I figure, "Hey she left me in the past for being too cocky and a bit of a douchebag, I'm in the power position here. I can move as fast as I want and she'll be grateful."
Again, TRP 101 shit right here I'm fucking up. In the past, I had all the cards, and all the moves. She could have left me at any moment, and I wouldn't have given a shit. I could say and do what I wanted with impunity." But this time, with a little help from some unbalanced hormones in my blood, I decided to go with Manson's "Models" method on vulnerability.
Sin #5 Showing the cards in your hand. In retrospect I just went with that method because I was acting like a thirsty fool who wanted to rationalize his decisions. For those unfamiliar, he suggests being 100% vulnerable as a sign of strength and security. To completely let the other person know your intents... To leave no room for ambiguity by completely polarizing the situation. That she knows exactly where you stand, and she can either take the offer or leave. Which works great if you've really built yourself up in her eyes. But if you've yet to fully establish yourself where you want to be, it'll backfire, as I learned.
So that night I made it clear, and polarized it. I gave up all my cards. I told her I thought she was great, didn't play games, I liked her, and want to try things out again. She gets all cute, agreed, and we sleep together.
Seems good, right? Nope. Next day, she leaves, and goes fucking silent. Completely stonewalled. Sure some texts here and there, but nothing really affectionate. I started to realize, I gave up all my cards. I gave her the power. There is now absolutely NO room for a takeaway nor dreadgame. She knows exactly where I stand, and the ambiguity is gone. And as we all know, when a guy gives up his power, he may as well just cut off his dick and turn it into a Barbie doll.
She had all the power. By going in too fast, I removed her ability to crave me, which is what she wants. At that point, it became impossible for her to be able to desire my attention and affection, because she doesn't have to chase me or think about what my real motives and position is. She knows. Women want to watch a movie over and over again, trying to figure out what it's all about. That's all the fun for them. But instead, after one play through, I told her what the movie was about and ruined the excitement of figuring out the puzzle.
Lessons learned:
Stay sharp: This is my big fuck up. I started slacking. In retrospect I shouldn't have had such a dramatic lifestyle change... I should have still kept up on my game and plates to some degree. Sure, maybe not necessarily date or plate women, but definitely keep enough gaming going on to maintain that psychological abundance... You need to know you still have it. And at the very least, I should have kept up on my outside activities that didn't involve work.
Abundance: I'm sorry, but I learned from coming out of monk mode that abundance is hard to fake. Figure out a way to keep it. Right now, I'm going to latter it up. I am dating once or twice a week with a wide range of girls, as well as hitting up old dusty plates I typically wanted gone. But I need to build that abundance again to restart that positive feedback loop. Got a second date with a sexy as fuck 19 year old next week, so hopefully that'll pay off.
AWALT: The game is always being played. Always. No matter what you want to believe, it's being played. TRP may sound a little too fucking much at times, but it's just the fucking case. Women are women, and nothing is going to change that. No matter how intelligent you think she is, she still has estrogen and a female brain. They will ALL act like women, no matter what. If you get sloppy, you will lose.
Keeping my cards hidden: I was a dummy for forgoing the basics. People play the game because it's fun. Not only that, but giving up your hand ruins it for all parties involved: You lose your power position, and they already know what you're going to do.

HumanSockPuppet Vanguard 10y ago
/u/trpSenator, your experience and seniority are a valuable part of this field report, because it reveals a valuable insight that newcomers and veterans alike should observe:
Overcoming your base urges will never stop being difficult, no matter how experienced you become. Some part of you will always feel the need to seek approval at the wrong time, or pursue pussy that isn't worth the chase, or lay about idly instead of improving yourself. These urges are involuntary, and ingrained far more deeply than the higher rationality which governs your Red Pill aspirations.
Therefore, being Red Pill is not something you can comfortably settle in to. It demands constant vigilance.
That being said, it's much easier to learn from mistakes when you have the experience and wisdom to look back and understand exactly what went wrong and why. Thank you for this excellent field report.
Jump back in to the game - stronger, wiser, and with vigilance renewed.
Chalupa258 10y ago
I appreciate your honesty and insight.
Scizzler 10y ago
You weren't caught off guard and you weren't rusty....you never TRULY learned it in the first place. I love how people come here, and after an hour think they know it all. Yea, there's alot of elitest dbags around here but no one knows it all and everyone should always continue to improve and learn. Also LTR of 6 months lmfao, good one.
[deleted] 10y ago
Good luck with your business!
trpSenator Vanguard 10y ago
Thanks. Awaiting responses from some key people and hopefully will have it up and running passive by January.
[deleted] 10y ago
Monk mode explains the success of many tech founders, I learned at 19 to never put pussy before money.
[deleted] 10y ago
This is extremely important. Whenever I tighten shit up, I do it holistically. There's usually a focus (Business, for instance), but it all leads to success, and it all builds on itself.
I think of the main levers in my life (physical, emotional, financial, etc.), and make sure I'm paying attention to (or at least stop neglecting) them all.
[deleted] 10y ago
Great FR. There is no rest for men. Ever. No safe havens and if you stop playing the game then you will soon no longer be able to.
rurpe 10y ago
You may step off the field but others will still be playing the game around you.
boomerbux 10y ago
Maybe one of the benefits to growing older is that sex just isn't as important. Yes it's great, but it isn't the most important thing, as it seems to be when you are young.
So you (or I, at least) have abundance mentality, or perhaps DGAF more naturally.
Then again, maybe that's just me. I know a guy in his 70's who hits on every waitress in every restaurant we go to. Long after I am ready to go home he is relentlessly pursuing a 22 year old bartender.
I get exhausted just watching him.
Moldy_Gecko 10y ago
I'm with you man... In my early 30's, already have my kids, so sex for me is for dominance in a relationship moreso than the pleasure anymore. I'm going to fuck her and fuck her good. But maybe not all the time because I don't need it that much anymore.
[deleted] 10y ago
You know what? Me getting divorce raped 10 years ago now in hindsight has brought me some very good albeit unexpected benefits.
The main one is now I simply don't give a fuck. When I was younger I didn't much of AF because I was getting chased and I had the type of abundance mentality you are talking about - multiple options with women at any given time. But I still sweated situations from time to time depending.
Now my not giving AF is a bit different - actually a lot different. I really could take it or leave it. Abundance is pretty much a given - I'm 44 years old, not a bad looking guy and I make money. At this stage of the game, if I tripped and fell odds are I'd land in some pussy from some desperate post wall chick stalking my facebook. Its there if I want it. But it's not even about that - I've transcended that. I see shit for what it really is. Getting involved with a woman to me represents constant fucking expectations from a needy female. After a decade or two of that you get worn out. I don't even want it anymore. Companionship? Pfft... Peace and quiet is pretty fucking good too.
When it comes to women, it becomes a be careful what you wish for scenario.
Listen honey, I just want you to come over once or twice a week, blow me and go home. If you're really nice to me - maybe I'll take you on a nice vacation.
Why would I want a woman to stay? Not wanting to deal with women's incessant whining bullshit is a total game changer. When you stop seeing them as pieces of ass and realize they are just pains in the ass - it takes all the anxiety and mystery out of it.
Does anyone really think women give a fuck about any of our happiness? LOL Women exist to try to chain your wallet. They can get laid pretty much at will day or night - so it's not about that. Relationships for women are about acquiring resources. Sorry to break it to everyone, and I know it sounds super cynical af, but its the God's honest truth. There is no fucking spoon.
This is peak over 9000 level abundance mindset. Total not-giving-a-fuck-ness zen mastery. I'm like fucking Spock at this point with no ego to bruise.
I laugh because occasionally my wife bitches about shit and once in a great while she'll try to dread me with Maybe we should just end this marriage or some dumb shit like that and I'm like LOL Don't threaten me with a good time! Knowing you can walk away at any moment and just not give one iota of a shit is unbelievably liberating. I mean seriously - I live in FL - I'd get 50-50 custody and pay no child support - there's a shitload of equity in our house and it would sell in a month. I have ZERO fucking fear.
Its not like I have any plans on divorce though. Being at this level of not giving AF keeps wifey on her toes without me having really to work at it. I've worked hard and the future is pretty bright ahead - she wants to be a part of it - so it's all good.
After you've been put through the trials - after that all the drama is just water off a duck's back.
I think no matter what your situation is - the most important thing is to develop a feeling of mastery over one's condition - then all the pieces fall into place naturally - with women - with work - with life in general.
Cyralea Vanguard 10y ago
Arguably the biggest pitfall for already-red men is absolving the need to maintain their actual abundance. You see this with guys who get into LTR's. It's easy to think that once you've raised your SMV it's safe to get complacent. Easiest way to get blindsided by some broad who thinks she can do one better.
Even in an LTR it's in ones best interest to keep playing girls. Flirt, tease, everything short of cheating. If your girl ever starts thinking you don't options then hypergamy plays out it's natural conclusion.
Women naturally resist this type of activity, they hate the idea of potentially losing their alpha, but the net result is intense attraction towards you. Perfect example of how you should listen to a woman's actions and not her words.
[deleted] 10y ago
This. I'm now experiencing the down-slide from being complacent; with women and my business (was doing great for awhile, but I became complacent).
It's being lazy, and thinking that the good times will carry on forever; they won't.
KissTheBridesmaid 10y ago
Thanks for the FR, very insightful. This shit happens. I am 35 now and I sometimes have phases like this.
When I notice that things aren’t clicking with women, there is usually an issue in a different part of my life that needs resolving. It is then important to first and foremost identify and solve this issue.
In the past, when I have ignored this or failed to identify the real issue, going out and trying to get laid would create a negative feedback loop.
I was trying to solve an unrelated issue with validation from women, but the underlying issue was affecting me in ways that made me unattractive to women (distracted, annoyed, needy, overly-analytic, unable to relax etc.)
The thing is, women come as a by-product of solving your other problems, overcoming challenges in your life. If you try to fill a void or solve a problem with women, it will backfire.
This doesn't mean don’t try to get laid, just that if it isn’t working, it’s worth shifting the focus to challenge yourself elsewhere.
Just to be clear, I am also not saying this is your situation, just adding some thoughts of my own.
RPmatrix 10y ago
And very good thoughts they are, IMHO ... thanks for mentioning them as I'm sure you and I are not the only guys to have made this mistake bro.
Dustin_Bromain 10y ago
I don't get it. What's TRP's endgame? I don't see the point in spinning plates for the rest of my life. I also don't see the point in endlessly continuing this maddening dance between myself and women. I wasn't born a natural alpha male. I was born and indoctrinated to be a beta male. Naturally alpha males usually seem to be so happy with their lives; even if they are Red Pill aware. And as a reforming beta male, knowing the truth hurts so bad I don't even know how to handle it (Heavy Depression Phase).
It's true, the game is always being played. But why should we play it? MGTOW can't be a viable long-term option though; we have natural, biological urges as men that can not and should not be ignored. So what the fuck are we going to do? Shit like this makes me want to leave the planet, and start a Red Pill planet. Maybe we can take over Mars. It's already red.
ChadThundercockII 10y ago
The end game of the Red Pill is to die with a smile on your face, knowing that you have no regrets.
[deleted]
[deleted] 10y ago
The end game of TRP? Do whatever the fuck you want.
Do you want to start a family?^(Just don't fuck up that marriage) Do that.
Do you want to spin plates? Do that.
Do you want to party for a while and then settle down with a wife and kids? Do that.
trpSenator Vanguard 10y ago
TRP has no end game. It's all about self progression. If you don't want to compete in the world, then TRP isn't meant for you. It'll do you absolutely no good. This forum is for people that want to do better with their lives. It's for people who are doing great that want greater things, and it's for people who are heavily depressed like yourself who want to fight through that funk.
Ask yourself, if there is a ball in front of you and the first person to grab it is the winner... But there are 10 people who want to grab that ball. Are you the type of person who is going to run forward and try to grab that ball, even though statistically you'll lose? If the answer is yes, then TRP is for you. If you answered no, then ask yourself, would you like to be one of those people who would like to become one of those other 9 who are willing to fight for that ball? If the answer is yes, TRP is for you. If the answer is no, then GTFO, because you're a lost cause. If you don't want to help yourself, I don't know who else can.
The thing is, it's not about whether or not you grab the ball. The ball is the pointless end game. It's about whether or not you're willing to take on the task to grab the ball. And by the time you actually build up enough strength to be the person to grab the ball, you'll be just like every man before you who went for the ball and got within arms reach of the ball who had the opportunity to grab it -- yet for some reason didn't, which is why it's still there to be grabbed. The ball is just a stupid ball. By the time you get to the point of being able to grab it, you wont even want it.
It's about the journey to grab the ball which matters. After all, it's just a stupid ball. It's the competition and struggle which really matters.
Purecorrupt 10y ago
It's all about the journey not the destination. In the end we all die alone.
Dustin_Bromain 10y ago
Yes. Absolutely. I want that ball. I might fail, but I will try again. And again and again if I have to. TRP has to be for me. TRP helped me to make sense of the world. I couldn't even begin to thank this place for everything it has done for me. I want to fight through my funk and figure out what I want to do with my life.
Edit: At the risk of sounding like an idiot, you've given me a new perspective on my life. I'm enamored with the idea that it's my own personal struggle that really matters. I love that. Thank you for the insight. I really appreciate it.
Fedupandlost 10y ago
This is a really good post, thanks.
[deleted] 10y ago
Live for your achievements, family, and male friends. Those are the people you can rely on as long as you put your end in. Those are the only 50/50 relationships you can count on. Plates are for those with enough energy to go 90/10. Rest is as important as exertion.
[deleted]
[deleted] 10y ago
If you aren't doing it already, go meditate. In the short term it won't do anything. In the middle term it will help you get through the depression phase. In the long term, it will help you find meaning.
Dustin_Bromain 10y ago
I will absolutely look into this.
RedPope Senior Endorsed 10y ago
The natural is a myth. Yes, some guys are lucky, they are born with a headstart. Good genes, rich parents, whatever. But, muscle doesn't build itself, and daddy's generosity has a limit. That natural you're admiring? He built on his gifts. You can too.
TRP has no endgame. It isn't a plan, it's just knowledge. What are you going to do with what you've learned? There are many different paths. Here are just a few:
You can hit the gym, put in the work, and have other betas start thinking you're a natural. You'll have a lot of fun.
You can go your own way, and pour your passion into a business or other vocation. You may find fulfillment.
All three of those paths take effort. Perhaps you want something easier?
You can half-ass it. Don't make any real changes, but use what you've learned here to land one or two girls per year. Better than nothing.
You can sit at your desk, whining on the Internet, and be unhappy for the next 30 years. Literally doing nothing.
TRP just shows you what the options are. You have to make the choice. What life do you want to live?
Dustin_Bromain 10y ago
The first three options sound great. I haven't really experienced any of those yet, but I'm excited to try. I'm more than willing to put in the required time and effort in order to make that a reality. I'm not entirely sure what life I want just yet, but I'm sure I'll find out along the way.
RedPope Senior Endorsed 10y ago
Even when you don't know where you want to go, you get there quicker when you keep moving in the right direction.
(Good Lord, I sound like Winnie the Pooh...)
RPmatrix 10y ago
I like to say "everything leads to something else"
Great post bro, so many good points, the honesty was greatly appreciated.
AtlRP 10y ago
Little off topic, but a good read is The Tao of Pooh by Benjamin Hoff. It's basically an introduction to Taoism using the Pooh characters as allegorical vehicles and it's full of little gems akin to your comment.
mrrooftops 10y ago
That's Pooh game right there.
Dustin_Bromain 10y ago
That's a great quote. Maybe Winnie is a little Red Pill himself.
[deleted]
Dustin_Bromain 10y ago
I absolutely love your response. Also, you hit the nail on the head; i've only been here for six months. But I do know that my mindset is nowhere near where it should be. I'm probably only halfway there at best. But that's ok, because I just want to keep improving myself.
I think that if you were asking the same questions that I am back when you first started out, and are now enjoying yourself immensely, the same will be true of me. I don't know what Alpha success feels like yet, but I want to work to get there. Your story is inspiring. Incredible stuff.
I hope you don't mind, but I saved your response. I'm going to look at it every time I start to feel overwhelmed, depressed, or unmotivated. Thank you pcadrian!!!
[deleted] 10y ago
In 2 months of first hearing about TRP and 1 month of actively posting here I went from kissing virgin to tasted it all, getting job interviews after years of an employment dry spell, and now almost bored with women and the game. And I'm not even in good shape yet (working on it though), I had good enough mental game to pull way more than I should have considering my gut. It can happen fast. Problem is I bounce around the various phases fast, too. I back into anger phase about every week for one or two days each time. Not sure how to explain it, it's like I'm on a high metabolism version of the red pill where everything happens faster than everyone is telling me it should. I'm unhappy how shitty the world was and ignorance almost was bliss but I will die before going blue again, and I'm happier now in non-ignorant ways especially with women.
james-watson 10y ago
My friend, stay strong. You have already made a huge step by digesting the Red Pill.
The reality of the current market is that no matter what, 20% of men will take all the women. However, you must understand that this is a transient state, and cannot last. History makes this abundantly clear.
So what's your endgame? Work on yourself, but also work on getting other men to WAKE UP. Once the majority of men understand that we are allowing Apex Alphas (oligarchs) to monopolize females, and that our inaction makes us complicit, we will re-arrange society. But this can only happen when the majority of males cooperate and see eye to eye.
If you are caught up in female cohabitation fantasies, or becoming oligarch fantasies, or any other fantasies, you will not see the full picture.
Our generation of men has had our entire birthright ripped away from them. Fulfilling careers, loyal wives, children free of the state, everything. We got nothing, because our parents did not fight to keep men in charge.
Women got the vote, then they immediately began destroying the institution of family for a chance at alpha fucks. Society is now a racket run by Apex Alphas and the majority of women, to the severe detriment of betas which constitute 80% of men.
Who pays taxes? Betas
Who dies in wars? Betas
Who works themselves to death? Betas
Who never gets laid? Betas
WHO ARE THE MAJORITY OF MEN? BETAS!
Betas MUST, and I mean MUST awaken. They need the RedPill more than anyone. We know what society looks like when it's run by men. We are true patriachs, we protect our wives and daughters while whetting our sons to become patriarchs themselves.
Fight the good fight my friend, you're already more than halfway there. Awaken the betas, for they are our only hope!
RedPope Senior Endorsed 10y ago
Everything changes, but this current phase may last longer than your lifetime. Assume that it will, and endeavor to become a top 20% man. That way, you succeed regardless.
That is just another fantasy. There will be no beta uprising. (Spoiler alert: The messenger gets shot.) MRA is a path of despair, with no chance of lasting success.
TRP can lead you to a fun, fulfilling, and meaningful life. Stop living for others. You are your cause. Win that fight first. Then you can come back and help the others. Or better: show them how to help themselves.
sir_wankalot_here 10y ago
This entire post is beta ☺ Think about what alpha and beta means and then you will see why it is beta.
CopperFox3c Senior Endorsed 10y ago
Nice FR. Probably good for some newer guys to see that even ECs still fuck up now and then. Couple of thoughts:
First, I've found as I've gotten older (into my mid-30's) that abundance mentality isn't about the number of plates your spinning or whatever ... rather, abundance mentality is about time. In other words, you have limited time to give. Because you have other shit going on. Pussy is just one of those things. So even if you have 1 plate or a 100 doesn't matter, because your time is valuable.
Second, as far as vulnerability and showing all your cards, remember that women are more attracted to a man whose feelings are ambiguous. Always. Be unpredictable. If you wanna be vulnerable, randomly be mysterious about some things. If you wanna complement her, mix in some teasing. Like you said, she lost the chance to crave you or wonder about your feelings. And women live in a world of feelings. The hamster, ironically enough, can be your greatest ally.
[deleted] 10y ago
Good lesson here and in the OP's FR. When I did a recent experiment where I deliberately went blue and it played out exactly as AWALT described word for word I 'laid all the cards out on the table' for her to see. That made things infinitely worse. Switch flipped off, she went from nice and enticing to total bitch just like that. In retrospect it was at this exact moment in my experiment that it happened. Just saying there is truth here guys, it happens like this in real life. Be ambiguous, mysterious, keep her guessing about your attraction or lack thereof.
sir_wankalot_here 10y ago
Here is the bottom line, 300+ years ago if the alpha fucked up he usually didn't get a second chance. Don't believe me, examine what happens when the alpha of an ape pack fucks up.
RPcoyote 10y ago
Yeah and going back to an old well or to reignite an old flame screams of beta. She moved on (esp. since it sounds like she's hotter now) and sees OP with differed eyes. Any feeling, I want you puke is going to be treated accordingly. I think what Mark Manson was saying is be vulnerable / show your intentions by hitting aggressively and charmingly on a woman. That will reduce chances you get friend zoned. So again the point is you have to do it in a charming, confident James Bond like manner, not like a boy who doesn't have any other options than what he's scored before.
Axoc 10y ago
You're definitely right about abundance mentality being about time. I think it's about 2 things - the idea that you DO NOT have an abundance of time and that you DO have an abundance of women.
People who need help driving this home, try to get into rap. There are TONS of songs that are just warnings or instructions on handling women and life in general. Somebody last night posted J Cole in another thread - him, Ice T, Tyga, plenty others have all put out great TRP materiel.
For example, the classic that tons of people love, 99 Problems -
"I don't trip on hos, cause I don't need none of them
Pussy's the temptation, dick's the persuasion
All hos suck cock nigga how you play 'em?"
Shows both AWALT and the abundance of women mentality.
"Really, niggaz worryin about bitchesÂ
They better, they better find somethin else to worry about"
Shows the lack of an abundance of time mentality.
To the new guys having trouble with any of these concepts, immerse yourself in them. Listen to tons of music that is relevant to it, hang out with slutty women frequently, try to make yourself disgusted and THEN come back to the normal standard behavior once you've seen the worst in people. You won't be quick to forget it.
[deleted] 10y ago
My life completely changed when I raised my standards on what/where/who I spend my time. If something sucks, there's no rule that says you have to devote yourself to it.
Parties, dates, movies, friendships, relationships... even your job - This is America: You can leave.
Incubus130 10y ago
This was really awesome. It is nice to see how the pros think but I gotta admit I face palmed at this.
I was just like... Oh no...
[deleted] 10y ago
Was thinking of ordering it. Is it too BP?
awalt_cupcake 10y ago
I've had many raised-eyebrow moments with this book... I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks this
RPJapan 10y ago
I definitely agree, it doesn't teach outer game and the inner game it touches on isn't that good IMO.
It could be a good book to recommend to someone just starting to digest the red pill though.
ChadThundercockII 10y ago
Julien Blanc has some a good course on game. It's called PIMP. I torrented it. It is VERY good.
NeoreactionSafe 10y ago
.
.
There was a post a while back about vulnerability and I was being very critical of it and got downvoted.
.
.
Now I know where this technique is being originated within the PUA / Manosphere.
Generally I'd say this is a high risk technique and I personally think it's a bad idea. It's like the Disney fantasy of the King bowing down before the Princess.
Let's keep the Kings (Alphas) on top and the spoiled teenagers below.
.
[deleted] 10y ago
[deleted]
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^0.6509
[deleted] 10y ago
Man #4 hits close to home.
Its so easy to have that nostalgia and think, "we have history, why did we end it? She was better than the other girls, etc." when in reality its just the fact that you are a little thirsty and she is available.
Our minds play tricks on us. There is always that little beta on your shoulder trying to get you to put her on a pedestal or think she doesn't quite fit into AWALT.
SW9876 10y ago
People always like to bitch, "TRP is just AWALT posts and it's so old we all know AWALT you guys are just a bunch of losers who bitch about women". The reason why repeatedly posting AWALT is so important is because of how easy it is to forget. As soon as the chemicals and hormones start kicking in all bets are off. The only thing you have to stand on is your foundation, which better be rock solid. That is why AWALT can never be overstated.
TomilloDanup 10y ago
Just wanted to say, thank you. Even when we have never met and our situation in life is really different. Some of your sins rang so many bells that this felt like a big breath of fresh air. Thank you for telling me what I needed to know, and over all for teaching us through your experience.
Danedina 10y ago
I complete concur with your conclusion that true abundance is the only path to establishing an abundance mentality. Your "failure" with the HB9 at the party is the perfect example. First, you were not in a healthy state of mind because you were overly outcome dependent. You were consciously running game rather than enjoying an interaction with a rare bird. If you had gotten laid the night before (not to mention earlier in the day), then that whole set becomes fun rather than a test of your game, and that fun results in greater attraction. Hell, maybe you'd have ended up befriending the other guy and found a new drinking buddy. Maybe the conversation takes a more interesting turn with the HB9 and you make a strong connection.
In my case, abundance helps me figure out which type of woman I truly want to spend time with. When I'm not enjoying abundance, desperation leads to two things: hooking up with women just to sooth my bruised ego, and striving for more "objectively acceptable" women to prove to the world that I'm not a loser (as opposed to being with women whose company I enjoy).
evilkenevil 10y ago
"Sin #4 Putting the pussy on the pedestal"
The greatest time-suck of my life.
thenemaxofredpill 10y ago
Say 10 Hail Marys and spend 10 minutes per day for 1 month in reflection and all will be forgiven. May God go with you, my son.
[deleted]
R3v4mp3d 10y ago
Please stop writing "story style" or "novel style" or whatever you wanna call it. More and more people are writing pages of text, creating captivating stories.
I don't wanna waste 30 minutes being "captivated" by your story. I wanna waste 10 reading a succint formal document that's as on point as possible with little personal bias, no prefferencial slang, that sidesteps only when truly needed.
The FR wasn't bad but you could've shortened it close to 1/3rd of its current size easily. Regarding your actual post/ story: don't worry; keep trying and you'll quickly get your IDGAF mentality back.
Edit: forgot to say: congratulations on the newfound frugality OP. It's sad to see that people don't like the succinct way TRP used to be. /u/HumanSockPupper : it's not that I don't like his style; it's the fact that "wall-of-text" type of posts are becoming a norm in TRP and I think that isn't really helping the community.
HumanSockPuppet Vanguard 10y ago
This is /u/trpSenator's style.
If you don't like it, then write a FR of your own.
[deleted] 10y ago
It's okay, he writes about respecting 'peiple' while constantly using fucking bullet points.