There was a girl at work. She would joke around about making out, say dirty things to me, etc..... I felt that my RP game had advanced because I've never talked to a girl like this.

So she gave me her phone number. We texted. I texted her with the sole intention of asking her out.

So I asked her out. Got the feeling she was dodging me.

She told me she didn't want to date. She had a recent bf dump her the day of her birthday. Blahdeeblahdeeblah she doesnt want to date. So I told her I wasn't going to be her friend. That I couldn't be just friends. I liked her too much at that point, and that once I liked someone I wasnt going to orbit around them. (I was actually really proud of myself here).

I was confused.

Wtf.

I fell in love with this girl bc she was teasing me. (Essentially mindfucking me). And I wanted her baaaad. I wanted to know more about her. I really did think she was cool.

I was angry.

So I caught oneitis, started telling her she was gorgeous, really intelligent, really cool. I put her on a pedestal.

"Why were you sending me signals?" I asked her. How come you don't want to hang out?????" ??????

I just couldn't wrap it around my head. I thought that when a girl shows you she likes you, you ask them out.

I called her, trying desperately to understand. Of course she told me that I was being weird.

BASICALLY GUYS, I didn't realize that she wanted to be friends with benefits. I approached it as a gentlemen instead.

Ended up losing this girl.

WELL LET ME TELL YOU FELLAS... I LOST THE BATTLE BUT I HAVE NOT LOST THE WAR. I'VE LEARNED MY LESSON. GIRLS JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN.

Girls just want to have fun.

Lessons learned: When you act like a gentlemen, it says to a girl that you want her to commit to something serious. Girls dont want that. Girls just want to have fun. When you act like a dirty rotten scoundrel, it says to her that she is capable of fucking you with no strings attached. Girls just want to have fun.

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IronMeltsinmyHands 11y ago

Jeezus how did you not see it? She told you she doesn't want to date.

And you were being weird. Weird is when a woman sends you all the signals, but you act like you don't understand. Maybe you don't understand. But that's just what weird is.

She put something out there, and got back what she wasn't expecting to get back. That is weird. It's like when a girl yells touchdown during March madness. Or you get a shoe when you go fishing.

It is weird. It's not rocket science.

I understand, we grew up on notions that we got from women and television. And that's part of the problem. We have to unlearn that. All of it.

Paying attention to what women do will keep you from being weird. Not what women say.For instance, she had a boyfriend, but she still sent you signals. (she wanted you to make it happen so she would have an excuse, plausible deniability. In her mind, that shit is romantic, in actuality, she's just a spectator waiting for things to happen, a flower waiting to be plucked, a hole for your dick. Don't ever think women will actually tell you what they want. A woman wants to be chased, stupid, I know, but it's what they grew up on.).

Is that so hard?

Archwinger Vanguard 11y ago

I started humming the song when I saw this post.

The original "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" song was actually written by a man named Robert Hazard. It was sung from a man's perspective -- he'd go out cruising and hanging out with girls (e.g., casual sex), his parents wanted to know when he'd get his life right, and he retorted that the girls just wanna have fun.

Cyndi Lauper liked the song but thought it was misogynistic, so her campy 80s version was tweaked slightly. Sung from a woman's perspective, it tells the tale of a girl who's out late, has guys calling for her at all hours (e.g., a slut), her parents wonder when she's going to get her life right, but she retorts that girls just wanna have fun. Somehow, that's supposed to be less misogynistic.

The hit song became an anthem for girls throughout the 80s, but really, the song was originally intended as a message for guys. Girls already knew they just wanted to have fun long before Cyndi Lauper told them so. It was guys who needed to get a clue about what the girls were like.

[deleted]

[deleted] 11y ago

In my experience women are acutely unaware of "the wall". I'm seeing this a lot now because I'm at that age where, if I were female, I would be hitting the wall myself, so I'm seeing this in female acquiescences that are in my peer group. Girls just want to have fun, because they are young and hot and they can get all of the men they want either into bed or into their orbit, and it just does not seem to enter their pretty little bobble heads that this is not going to last. They don't see the wall coming at them at 100 miles per hour until their nose is bumping up against it.

You lost the battle but not the war, but we will always win the war for one very simple reason: time. Its on our side, not theirs. I'm guessing both you are this girl are both in your early twenties. She is at her sexual market place value peak. In 10-12 years, she will be the one chasing you for a committed relationship, and that's when you tell her to go and become queen of the cats.

SeekingTheWay 11y ago

Act like a gentleman? The fuck does that mean anyway? Acting in a way so you don't get laid?

Readleavesbluesguy 11y ago

Lol! Im in Les Schwab waiting for my car and I have to tell you guys... Things changed overnight.

Since my last state of depression over fucking this whole thing up with this girl, the Gods may have shined their light on me.

We work together, and she came up to me several times and I acted as if I was already over her. I pretended that I was totally cool. I think she bought it. I acted like my normal self, cracking jokes and whatnot.

She tested me with all sorts of shit tests. Without getting into details here, she bought my act.

So later last night she calls me. ... as a friend.

Thats right gentlemen... I found myself within the friendzone walls, with no ability to escape. She was calling me for attention. I had become her little orbiter..... At least so she thought.

Or maybe she called me bc she wanted to see if I was really a waste of her time. Maybe she was calling to figure out if I was really moving away from her.

After all, in this day and age, betas are everywhere, and they don't just UP AND LEAVE that quickly. I suppose that she was curious as to what was going on.

Well this was my chance. I was going to flip the script.

Now, I understand that within the RP community, the chances of changing a girls mind about you after making yourself look like a complete pussy are slim to none... However, maybe I had a case here that would turn things around.

I actually told her straight up that she was the last girl I would ever approach as a gentlemen, and that although I grew up in a church that takes relationships and dating very seriously, that I understand that girls just wanna have fun.

I told her that by treating her like a gentlemen would treat a princess, it showed her that she would have to commit herself to a serious relationship, and I told her how I understood that that was a complete turnoff. I told her that because of my upbringing, I was afraid of feeling like an asshole by treating her like a hoe.

I told her that I understood that relationships should just start out with fun.

(Real quick guys, I understand that youre reading this thinking that I sound like a little bitch pouring my heart out. I promise that I only conveyed this message in a smooth way. It didn't come out like this...it was way smoother, and I'm a good communicator, just sometimes I can over communicate. This was not one of those times. She called me, remember. I was able to talk to her as a friend, but under that guise I was able to say much more.)

By the end of the convo., she was in the dressing room at the store she was shopping in, and she was trying on different things. I pushed the envelope several times. I said things in the convo like, "anybody tell you that you're voice is really hot??" And eventually she reciprocated with "haha I'm not wearing a bra right now and you can TOTALLY tell heeheehee" and so I was like "FUUUCK!! IM ON MY WAY." Lol.

Now all I have to do is give her space, play it smooth, and not give her any creepy vibes. I might be able to gain control again.

I might be back in this shit.

The war is not over. Thank you ALL for your words. I know I was so fucking sad earlier, but yeah... You guys are right. I have time to better myself. Its not my girl.. Its just my turn.

SeekingTheWay 11y ago

might have turned this out but be aware of oneitis. that shit will catch you off guard.

[deleted]

Readleavesbluesguy 11y ago

You know what guys. I drove downtown, walked around, and observed everyone in the city. You know what I realized? I don't know how to have fun.

I grew up in the Mormon Church raised by a single mom. I even went on a mission. I came home like Brendan Frazier coming out of the ground after being raised in a bomb shelter. I just can't get myself to have fun with women, and because of that, I cant have fun.

I'm a pathetic fucking loser of a man. I come here to RP bc I want to understand more.

I try to swallow the red pill, and I try to be like an alpha, but I just keep finding myself in this state of Limbo where Neo was in the matrix. Neo almost didn't make it through. Morpheus had to explain to neo that he took a risk bringing him into the matrix bc Neo could've died, not having been able to handle the transformation.

I'm dying.

I feel like its too late for me to embrace this reality. It all makes perfect sense to me, but applying it feels impossible.

I walked around downtown tonight and felt like an empty shell. I feel so different from everyone around me. Society and the party lifestyle feels so fake. It all feels like a giant Chuck e. Cheese, where tokens are spent on alcohol and the prize is an easy lay.

I want the Disney fantasies to be true, and I want a woman to truly love me for who I am as a person, but this whole red pill thing tells me that a high SMV is the only thing that matters, and that love essentially doesn't exist. Well what the fuck. How can you guys all just fuck women, no strings attached? My whole life I've been taught that women are these special creatures that shouldn't have sex until they're married, lest you find yourself committing an act that is in Gods eyes, equal if not worse than murder. That's what I've been taught. So forgive me if I have trouble talking dirty to girls or taking what I want from them. Ive been taught to respect them. To be a gentlemen. I'm cursed to walk this earth as a white knight beta, and I want to be an alpha. Every time I post something, you guys let me know right away that im being a little pussy ass bitch. Well how about you put yourselves in my shoes?

Try looking at the world through my eyes for a second. Look at the world both scientifically and spiritually and try not to let that get in the way whenever you talk to a girl.

Try living in your mom's house at 26 and working a min wage job that barely gets you by, and drive a shit car. Go ahead and try making that work out for yourself. Oh and be overweight too. In the last 7 months I've lost like 70 lbs, and I still look like shit.

Have nobody respect you or know you within a shit town.

Grow up having moved from place to place across the country.

Be me for a day. All the brains in the world without basic relationship understanding. I'm a fucking loser.

-1

nomad-oz 11y ago

We all have to start somewhere. There have been plenty of people here that have been dealt worse hands than you and still managed to turn it around.

You are a man so you can do this. Quit bitching, the helping hand you seek is attached to your right arm. Go Monk Mode and keep persevering. Keep reading and learning. Improvement will come.

mister_barfly75 11y ago

I'm a pathetic fucking loser of a man

Drop that shit, right fucking now. You're a man, end of story. So you fucked up, so what? We all do. It's what makes us human. The difference between TRP and the rest of the world is we don't fuck up then sit around crying and wringing our hands while claiming victim status, we analyse where we went wrong and take measures to fix it.

This girl wanted to be plated. You started daydreaming about white picket fences. I bet you even wondered what her name would sound like with your surname, right? I've been there, done that.

It's OK, there's nothing wrong with being a romantic and if you end up in an LTR it will help you, as long as you don't go full beta. But if a girl is giving you indications that she's DTF then you have to stop yourself picturing some fantasy future because she's not your girl, it's just your turn.

Girls wanna have fun? Well, who doesn't? You can sit here complaining about their hypergamous nature to a bunch of internet strangers, or you can get out there and have fun yourself. TRP isn't a hugbox, this is a place to go to get told exactly what I'm about to tell you now:

Quit your whining. Sort your shit out

That girl who wants to fuck? She maybe a strong, independent woman who don't need no man but would you want her raising your kids? No. She's enjoying the carousel too much to be a long term prospect, but she IS exactly what you need to practice game and sex and generally having fun.

Embrace the opportunities when they present themselves to you, don't bitch to us when they happen.