Post Selection | TheRedPill

In no uncertain terms he demonstrates to her that he has the supreme confidence he can find another woman with better prospect than her. Even if this isn’t the pretext of the breakup, this is the message in the medium that she understands; she doesn’t measure up to his expectations.

This then is further compounded by the unconscious knowledge that it should be women who are socially in charge of the sexual selection and approval process. When a man dumps a woman he demonstrably takes that agency away from her.

However, the effectiveness of that social proof for the dumped woman is only proportional to the doubt that he may have been a better, more optimal Hypergamic choice for her. We understand the effectiveness even a fabricated perception of preselection has on women, but depending on the psychological impact a man has, post-selection and the uncertainty of his long term fitness can be so powerful it can create an Alpha Widow of her.

Hypergamous doubt makes women creatures of constant comparison. Thus, when (if) she makes another intimate connection after that breakup, the new guy is held next to the comparison of the previous one. Once that comparison is made, that post-selection value of the previous guy (or lack thereof) becomes reinforced for her.

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truthiesttruth 11y ago

The biggest regret I have had from previous LTR's is that I didnt dump the hos first.

I am not salty, I wish those chimps nothing but the best out there on the branches. I also do not wish that I had dumped them to get the upper hand socially / look better in common circles.

The reason I regret not ending it first is because the relationships went south and I refused to bail... I sailed that sinking ship to the bottom of the ocean when I could have easily made landfall by abandoning the cause earlier. I put my own happiness last and suffered because of it.

This is supreme bluepill behavior in so many ways. For me the cycle was the same in most relationships, left to my own devices (single) I start to behave more RP just naturally, I grew up in a very RP environment and find much of it intuitive, but once I ended up in a relationship, the longer it lasted, the more BP I became, which led to unhappiness and me not giving a shit about the relationships, despite refusing to end it.

Dumping the ho when you are not happy is one of the biggest shortcuts to becoming red if you are not.

Dump them every time.

Stythe 11y ago

This should be mounted on every mans wall. After the confusion and anger wore off for the relationshit that led me here, I realized that my lack of knowledge and ability to stand up for myself was the cause of my downfall. I'll never that that happen again.

ItIsMyPrivilege 11y ago

I dumped a girl, wrecked her.

Felt regret and tried to get her back. She didn't let me, said we could just be friends. Since then I basically have ignored her.

If you do dump, NEVER try to get her back. You can plate her or something, but don't put effort and remember the TRP tenets, I didn't and I fucked up.

Live and learn. If you dump, don't be a bitch like I was, you give that power back and make her think even less of you (i'm guessing)

[deleted] 11y ago

[deleted]

ItIsMyPrivilege 11y ago

Yeah I'm working in rebuilding. I feel like a fool. Just warning others, trying to go back to a girl you dumped is the worst thing you can do.

TheAngryLife 11y ago

It leaves you feeling way worse and nukes your value to zero. She will make you pay for the pain and embarresment you caused her.

Your messages will be shown off like trophies to restore her social pride, and she will move on like a bullet in disgust.

ItIsMyPrivilege 11y ago

Yeah that's why fuck texting most of the time

Di-onysos 11y ago

Doing this is pretty much disarming a woman. Concrete proof that she has zero power over you. She has only one weapon, one source of leverage, and you're immune to it.

This will result in

1: Increasing her perceived value of you significantly

2: Sending her hamster into overdrive. Can often result in cognitive dissonance as her hamster finds a conclusion where her value remains intact("It just wasn't to be", "He was a player") while in reality she still desires you(because of your show of power).

getRedPill 11y ago

Rollo is a great thinker in the community, no doubt; but I sometimes have inconvenients understanding what he says. Hope I don't get downvoted or banned for that.

Kool_Kings 11y ago

He uses very long words and long complicated sentences and I wish he would take a writing class because I just get exhausted reading his blog.

I've even taken to pasting his blog into Word documents and translating them into English.

getRedPill 11y ago

Aren't they english already? The one I read sure is in english, but perhaps there's another one in his first languaje (which I don't know which one is)

reigorius 11y ago

Half the comments tactfully send the same message.

xfLyFPS 11y ago

The day people start getting banned from here for different opinions is the day I'm leaving.

Sarcasticus Endorsed Contributor 11y ago

Not really related to the article: how do you reconcile the 3rd Iron Law with virgins who are saving themselves for marriage?

Other than that, good article, as usual.

Algernoq 11y ago

Most "virgins" are lying about it. If you're not a player, you'll get played...you'll get lied to about the woman's sexual history (ask me how I know!). If you are a player, you'll have the social skills to identify and draw out actual virgins, but you probably won't want to commit to them.

putsch80 11y ago

I think it would be implicit within the rule that it's referring to women who are sexually active.

And, in any event, the rule still applies. If you are waiting around to bone a virgin, then you're doing it wrong. Her virginity might be an important aspect in your choice to marry her, but the sex with her won't be worth the wait. It won't be much different or better than any of the other 3.5 billion vaginas on the planet.

always-be-closing Endorsed Contributor 11y ago

virgins who are saving themselves for marriage?

I'm 24 and know of a grand 5 people doing this (saying so among friends, at least): three girls, two guys.

The overwhelming majority of people in my social circle have been having sex since late middle school, early high school.

All three girls have boyfriends (Also Christian - did I mention they're all religious), neither of the guys do.

I would imagine most of the people who say they're virgins waiting for marriage are men claiming to be so for plausible deniability/their background made the ultra blue pill, and women who are keeping up appearances/haven't been pursued yet.

NineInchPitchfork 11y ago

< We understand the effectiveness even a fabricated perception of preselection has on women, but depending on the psychological impact a man has, post-selection and the uncertainty of his long term fitness can be so powerful it can create an Alpha Widow of her.

Did you use Google translator to get this sentence? Because it sure as hell reads like you did.

Rollo-Tomassi 11y ago

FWIW, I don't write for the 8th grade reading level that every communications teacher in college tells their journalism majors to aim for in their 800 words max blog posts.

I also don't do click-bait, top 10 list fluff pieces, "how to" posts or SEO leading question articles.

Left to journo majors the very rich english language would have the dictionary reduced to a 12 page pamphlet.

stolidfact 11y ago

Eh, everyone can benefit from the work of a great editor. It's tough to fit in complex ideas into clear language, especially without multiple revision cycles. If it helps you, here's what Rollo means:

Men may pass through an initial filter that women use for mate selection by seeming like other women desire them, regardless if this is true or not (called preselection). But once a woman bonds to a man, the stronger the attachment, the more anxiety a man may create by demonstrating that the woman's perception of his SMV and marketplace SMV are not the same. The woman's understanding that the man is desirable creates a mental state of both wanting an unknown, shiny new thing, while wanting to not miss out on what other women might have with him. It is an inner dread that hypergamy introduces combined with mental dissonance that, depending on the strength of the pair bond, may create an Alpha Widow of her.

40Watts 11y ago

He shoves so much unnecessary vocabulary into his articles.

reigorius 11y ago

The Rationale Male same story. Too much use of $10 words. Had to use the dictionary far, far more than any other English book I've read.

[deleted] 11y ago

Agreed. Each sentence has two verbs, 6 abstract concepts, and four conditional phrases.

I'm always amazed on how verbose some posts are since TRP concepts aren't even remotely complex.

reigorius 11y ago

It gives the appearance of mastery to the writer.

Maybe they have it, maybe they don't. In interviews Rollo Tomassi is much more clearer than in his book or articles.

stolidfact 11y ago

It's his style. Logical linguistic constructs often demand that the reader buys into a core universe of shared vocabulary and background ideas. This shorthand is necessary to convey complex meaning in short sentences. However, there is a tradeoff that happens when the shorthand moves too far from the original, core truths. On the one hand, using hierarchical ideas enables more meaning to exist in fewer words. And on the other hand, this style alienates readers who have not bought into the universe of ideas. The solution is to break down the hierarchy of ideas into a more flat structure per article, but it is very very tough to achieve consistently. IMO Rollo does an above average job.

reigorius 11y ago

A judge once said that if you can not explain the law to a layman using normal/simple language, you actually do not have a real understanding of the law.

I find it commands respect when you can break down something difficult in normal words and sentences.

NineInchPitchfork 11y ago

Faulkner is fine for literature but Hemingway is preferred (imo) for explaining concepts and advocacy.

stolidfact 11y ago

Sure, I agree. Am saying it's tough. Takes a half decade or so of dedicated writing to achieve an acceptable level of habitual mastery AND a good editor. I was in the publishing business for a while and saw editors transform rather shitty work into near masterpieces at times. Good part about blogging is it's always possible to ask and engage through comments. Makes somewhat unpolished work more acceptable as a whole.

RPNietzsche 11y ago

I have to say, I really enjoy reading your comments.

You have a wide vocabulary that you use when you write, but unlike Rollos articles, your language easy to read and understand. How long did it take for you to perfect this way of writing?

SkorchZang 11y ago

There's a famous little book "Style: Toward Clarity and Grace" by Joseph M. Williams which pulls no punches with this kind of stuff. It's full of epic examples from the turgid equivocation category, which are then transformed before your eyes. To become simple, clear, masterful.

stolidfact 11y ago

I think I'm approaching 80-85% mastery after a decade-long career as a non-fiction writer. I possessed some talent when I started and focusing on bad habits helped build on that foundation by shaping my mind into a way of thinking about language that constantly deconstructs ideas for clarity and conciseness. Although I'm not in the business any more, I wrote 25,000-30,000, 300-word pages during that time.

bustanutmeow 11y ago

You rewrite it then. I want to see what the difference would be in smaller words.

NineInchPitchfork 11y ago

I would but I have no idea what he was trying to say. Which was my point. This is the problem with exuberant sesquipedalian flourishes.

[deleted] 11y ago

I understand it. If you don't, it doesn't mean "he uses so much unnecessary vocabulary", you need to get better at english.

(P.S.: I'm not from english speaking country)

commentatorX 11y ago

Yeah, really. Pay attention to the punctuation and it reads just fine. For anyone (seriously?) still struggling:

We understand the effectiveness even a fabricated perception of preselection has on women, but depending on the psychological impact a man has, post-selection and the uncertainty of his long term fitness can be so powerful it can create an Alpha Widow of her.

Translation:

Preselection does attract women. But making a strong impression on her, leaving her, and disappearing from her life will most likely amplify your SMV in her eyes exponentially, without any further input from yourself. You could stand to become her 'Chad that got away' - hence, alpha-widow.