Background: 24 yo Pakistani- Canadian. Live with parents.
I met a girl (7.5) online through okc. Met at the mall and got drinks a few weeks ago. Didn't k-close but was able to demonstrate high SMV and I really took control of our time together.
Anyways, I texted her a few days ago asking her if she wanted to check out a bar near my place Friday. She agrees to come over after work and we'll head down together. By some miracle, everyone in my house was planning on being away for the weekend so I had the place to myself. She agreed on a sleepover and came over. The main key here is I acted like I didn't give a fuck the whole time. The whole time I was with her it was with the thought that it wasn't a big deal, even though I've never done something like this before. We went out Friday, had some drinks, walked through a haunted trail, kissed and went back to my place.
We get in bed, I put on a movie and she's really sleepy. Granted she worked a long shift and came straight to my house after work. I continue escalating but she won't let me go near her tits or let me finger her. At one point she stops mid makeout and says "you're not getting laid tonight" I answer with a simple "ok" and continue escalating then pull back for a bit.
We went to sleep for a while then woke up and I started escalating again. Still nothing. Then we have the following convo which throws me off:
Her: Are you looking for FWB?
Me: No I don't like that term
Her: Do you have sex with other girl friends?
Me: Yes
Her: I'm not a fwb. I don't have sex outside of relationships
Me: That's alright
We lie next to each other for a bit with my hand on her ass. Doesn't escalate then it's time for her to go home so she gets changed and leaves.
Any word on what may have happened? Did I handle her shit test properly?
The interesting part is I truly don't care if I see her again. Just looking to reflect for the future. I'm thinking later if we have the discussion again I'll tell her I don't like rushing into relationships and we should see where it goes.
I'm thinking she'll give in before I do. We talked a lot about sex and about how we may be sexually compatible so she definitely wants sex way more than I want a relationship. Any thoughts or suggestions?
Also: The reason I mentioned my age, race and living situation is because a lot of the shit on TRP has been guys complaining about limitations. While I will say it is obviously harder out there for Asians/ Indians/ etc. It's not impossible. High SMV is high SMV no matter what. Just don't be your stereotype and you'll be fine.
NightGod 11y ago
Her: Are you looking for FWB?
Me:
No I don't like that termOh, we're friends? Cool! Want to have a play date? Maybe we can braid each other's hair!Her: Do you have sex with other girl friends?
Me:
YesI don't talk about the people in my life with others.Her: I'm not a fwb. I don't have sex outside of relationships
Me:
That's alrightPretty presumptuous of you to think we're having sex tonight.prodigy2throw 11y ago
Goddamit I've got a long way to go. Thanks for the advice
FrameWalker 11y ago
You may have triggered something. Try calibrating the push ull a bit so they buy into the romance fantasy. Validate slightly to reward good behavior.
"Right now I feel like I don't have sex outside of relationships with you".
I translated the womanese for you.
trpbox 11y ago
Hard to say without having been there, but it sounds like you didn't make her comfortable enough, and instead skipped steps in escalation. Next time try being more playful, so she can get used to being physically close with you, kiss your way from the neck to the tits etc, make consistent progress. I'm exaggerating but this seems like you basically laid next to each other and then you went "Ok, if it's cool I'm going to put my hand in your vagina" instead of showing desire.
Totsean 11y ago
Ha hahaha, mine just happened today but I fucked her and then told her to fuck off in a simpler loving language. The girl was a random hook up at best, comes at my place, goes all fuck yeah and then we're in bed and nope, I kiss her nope, I wasted 3 hours trying to get her to fuck.
At this point, I am thinking of kicking her out, thankfully she agrees to sleep naked with me. Well, after that I just got in and fucked her.
Turns out, she was waiting for me to more dominant and just break her will. Although she was crazy since she claimed many times she wants to have a baby with me.
Don't put your dick in crazy.
But your case is slightly similar, just play along until she makes herself believe it's okay.