The way I describe what women consider "love", to myself, is Emotional Dialogue

As I have experienced it, if you can stimulate a women's Emotions then they will begin to recognize and return to you the favors that you as a man seek ; sex,companionship and possibly children.

The surprising thing (for me) is that, for the most part, the Quality of the emotions generated matters far less than the Quantity and Consistency of the emotions provided to keep a woman's attention and ultimately gain whatever end game you seek to attain.

What I mean by this is very simple; Women remember you and are attracted to you because of the emotions that you stimulate in them . Women do not "Qualify" emotions directly as "Good" or "Bad". When they evaluate an interaction they look at the Strength of the emotions an encounter invokes in their memory.

The point is; to gain the attentions of a women or to secure the Ideal of what she would consider "Love", you have to develop, and for any long term intent, maintain an Emotional Dialogue to keep her engaged in the relationship you are trying to establish.

• The ONS is the most basic and simple Dialogue in which you can engage. Negging, humor or whatever. Just a set of tactics to stimulate the "Tingles" and get laid.

• Plates and FWB's require are a higher level of Dialogue. To continue providing sex in a non-monogamist relationship of these types a woman must know on some level that each encounter is going to provide the level of emotion that she expects/craves to keep her interest in the exchange. The first time the Emotional Dialogue drops below a certain point then she will lose interest.

• LTR's and Marriage are the highest level and most challenging Dialogues to execute. To participate in the interior Emotional Dialogue of a woman on an extended basis requires a daily base line of emotional stimulation (Dread Game comes to mind) along with random game tactics that produce spikes in emotion (Think Pavlovian Response) to keep the woman's need for emotional stimulation above the threshold where she will lose interest.

TL;DR; To define and manage your own Expectations of a woman in whatever type of relationship you may choose to have with her, you must first understand the requirements of the Emotional Dialogue that defines her. From that point you will be able to decide if the Effort required and the Expectations you have, coincide in a way that is satisfactory to you as a man.

This is a great post and I agree completely; step one of waking up is to examine your expectations and preconceived notions, and then to adjust them in accordance with objective reality (a tall order no doubt).

The elephant in the room I’m seeing between this post and your response to Girl With a Dragonfly Tattoo is a glaring question: Now that I have reevaluated my expectations and have determined that I will not receive equitable love from a relationship with a woman, aren’t my motivations to have any sort of relationship with a woman gone also?

Here is a related/corollary example. People in the PUA and TRP spheres often talk about outcome independence, not ‘giving a fuck’, and managed expectations. For example, it is often advised that men go out and approach women without any expectations on the outcomes. The problem with this line of advice is that, for these men, their only motivation for going out and approaching women in the first place was to meet new women. If I get rid of the expectation of meeting a woman, I also lose my motivation for going out to approach. The baby has been tossed out with the bath water.

People subconsciously weigh their options, measuring primarily for the possibility of reward. Consequently, people are in a constant state of trying to choose the paths with the best outcomes. On the same token, people instinctively know not to invest time and energy into useless pursuits. If an employee knows that he won’t get a raise this year no matter what, can you blame him if he never opts to work late, take on extra responsibilities, and otherwise trade in his effort for the qualities of a great employee?

The only ‘solution’ that I can come up with is soft MGTOW. Putting minimal effort into directly pursuing women, focusing on myself, and engaging with any women who are down only for as long as it is convenient and beneficial.

Is the only alternative some form of being exploited (by this, I mean putting in substantially more value into something than you get out of it)? If so, are there points on the spectrum of exploitation that we should resign ourselves to as ‘least exploitative possible, therefore acceptable’?

The best things in life are those given, not taken. Having minimal expectations means that you are not subconsciously demanding things from others. Typically, such subconscious demands are sub-communicated, often non-verbally through posture or subtle facial expression. We don't even realize we're doing it.

The real aim of TRP, and its principles of self-improvement and frame, is that it makes you more compelling for other people (including women) to submit to you, enter your frame. You may still have to make the moves, but they "give" you what you want. You can't force it.

Dropping those expectations, letting go of the outcome, is one of the first steps.

Great post, Rollo.

Irony is, and RP experience confirms game will work better in those egalitarian countries.

Oh God this sub is a fucking cesspool

"What they fail to realize is the inherent vulnerability men face in loving a woman at all. All risk, with no realistic expectation of reciprocation of his emotional investment and even greater risk of rejection for expressing that expectation – now that’s vulnerability."

No Charm, No Love

Seems to me Love has to be consciously conditional on the man's part. If a women isn't in Charm mode (respectful) she is likely Shit Testing or Comfort Testing which in both cases means:

"She's thinking more about herself than you."

Not only is this dangerous for the man because of lack of respect, but when a woman is like this she can't even Tingle for you. She's not "happy" like this.

Withdrawing your Love when the women withdraws her Charm is the only option.

It's not permanent... things can get better again... but in the moment you have to withdraw your Love. It's not that you are "controlling" because you are just "reacting".

The Charm failed first... then the Love goes away... for the moment.

It's the first fight. (and all fights)

And I'd add that in a Comfort Test you have sympathy, not Love. There is no feeling of pride in a Comfort Test. Love for a man should be close to pride.

http://www.oktoberfest-songs.com/ein-prosit-lyrics.html

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/prosit

Rollo I feel like your in the sales business. I've been noticing posts about sales stuff. Managing expectations is definitely a business acumen thing. A man who has sympathy for others is screwed for life. A man who has empathy is set for life. This is because sympathy is when you feel what the other person feels and that affects you. If they cry you cry. empathy is understanding it but distancing yourself from the emotion.