Someone on my FB posted this and I couldn't help but share the laugh. I'm without words.. This is the post. This guy is a special kind of beta, for a time he was engaged to a 'super model' over facebook. Quality stuff from him.
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WhenIntegralsAttack 11y ago
A quick anecdote. Whenever I was with my ex, I purposefully walked through a lot of doors before her, turned around, and closed the door in her face. She thought it was hilarious. Playfully subverting some of these rules is an easy way to get a girl to see you as confident.
Another one, if a girl ever asks you about her weight, a great answer is "you're fucking huge, I think you're breaking the floor tiles."
Golden-Sylence 11y ago
I hereby vow to use this someday. If TRP hasn't collapsed beneath the weight of 30 million femwhales by then, I'll post a FR detailing the aftermath/fuckstorm.
[deleted] 11y ago
Several of these I agree with.
7 Knock on her door instead of honking.
15 Be loyal.
18 Let her down easy.
21 Protect your woman.
Most of these are horrible, but he gets a couple right.
Isaiah4verse1 11y ago
Rule 23:
Smile with glee as you stand at the drugstore checkout with her Tampax.
[deleted] 11y ago
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Isaiah4verse1 11y ago
"Now insert it for me Jeeves! I don't have all day, let's go!"
redditguy1515 11y ago
"Ask, is it alright if i kiss you?" Just.....no
ProfessorD2 11y ago
It's a great way to get a kiss... if all you ever want is that one quick kiss.
redditguy1515 11y ago
Asking "Do you want to kiss me?" is much smoother
ProfessorD2 11y ago
If anything is said at all I recommend a statement: "I need to kiss you now," then go for it.
Josh_The_Boss 11y ago
I'm a fan of not saying anything until afterwards.
Cray_for_the_Day 11y ago
More like "22 steps to the nearest friendzone."
Isaiah4verse1 11y ago
This is good. It'll be helpful once I get the Flux Capacitor on my DeLorean repaired.
[deleted] 11y ago
Half of these are your typical whiteknight bullshit, but I really enjoy how the other half are like you making up for the fact she came unprepared. Like giving her your jacket in the cold, what it's now my job to make up for your lack of preparedness? Fuck that shit your ass is going to be cold.
[deleted] 11y ago
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Overkillengine 11y ago
Fucking nugget of wisdom right here. Possibly one of the better analogies I've read yet.
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[deleted] 11y ago
Maybe you should write a book or a blog in your spare time?
neveragoodtime 11y ago
Probably the best advice on here. I don't know if I'm missing something, or this is the funniest shit I've read.
Side note; if she keeps eating she's a keeper.
moosik85 11y ago
Stopped reading at number 1.
When women start acting like ladies again, ill start treating them as such.
PerniciousOne 11y ago
This is the exact truth, when women adopt the reciprocal aspects of chivalry then they can be treated that way. Being treated that way has the side effect of drying up vaginas.
chakravanti93 11y ago
It' funny because "The art of Chivalry" isn't lost by the Men, it's lost by the women.
Chivalry is for men, not women. Chivalry is about respecting people who respect themselves, Men and Women alike.
Sluts don't repspect themselves, Chivalry dictates we execute them.
Bitches don't want chivalry, they want to have sex and not be sluts.
Men everywhere still respect women who respect themselves.
Hats off to Jack the Ripper, the last vestige of chivalry in a bygone era.
[deleted] 11y ago
"Always plan to pay" No thanks.
[deleted] 11y ago
Or skip about two dates and pay a pro...
RandomAnecdote 11y ago
When I was single, I'd open the car door for a girl because it would enable to fart once I closed it. I'd walk slowly by the trunk and fart some more if I needed to and by the time I go to the driver's side I'd be free and clear. That said, my wife is completely capable of opening her own door.
[deleted] 11y ago
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RandomAnecdote 11y ago
One trick is to reach into your back pocket and pull your ass cheek slightly apart. Less noise that way, and if you're lucky, no passengers.
[deleted] 11y ago
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Gillzer 11y ago
I was thinking if he pays every time, she has no reason to divert from that path.
Menadian 11y ago
Am I the only one thinking:" feminist would cry rape/misogyny/sexism on everyone on these points"?
Chavagnatze 11y ago
Nah. As I read that list of hilarious bullshit, I heard all of the "strong independent woman" Beyoncé / Destiny's Child songs in my head. If they really want to be authentically equal, I ain't openin' no fuckin doors, I ain't payin' for most of her shit either. If she is on my time, I'm essentially leading the way.
Ozymandias30 11y ago
I'm genuinely interested if men like this can ever stay in a relationship for over a year without her cheating on him. That would be as much of an achievement as a redpiller banging a 10.
ProfessorD2 11y ago
Chivalry is only weakness if you let it be used as a way to walk all over you; which is what it's become with expectations like a man must NEVER hit a woman even in self-defense, or the man must ALWAYS pay for shit. Don't get used.
Otherwise, a lot of classic chivalry automatically puts the other person as the subordinate even if you're serving them.
Imagine being in a friend's car with mixed company and he pulls up to the club you're going to. "It's raining. Hop out, I'll go park the car." I've had this happen to me and I can assure you, you feel like the bitch, not the guy walking in the rain.
Mightaswellmakeone 11y ago
Agree with you prof. Leading with kindness is still a dominant action.
Some of the things in the list I think I (a man) should and want to do (open doors, holding the arm out, etc.). Some of the things on the list sound like it comes from a beggar (always pay, the emphasis on catering to their needs, etc). And the overall tone sounds that of a beggar as well. Some good ideas in the list that are drowning in a sea of excessive servitude.
[deleted] 11y ago
I had to stop reading after number 4. Also I felt sick reading this.
trpsavvy 11y ago
One would have to run an ample amount of dread to counter-balance acts of "chivalry." Be nice to her, but only after she has earned it and only because you want to - not because she's obligated to your respect or absurd unconditional kindness. Unconditional love is a thing of gods and mothers.
robesta 11y ago
I think opening doors and stuff like that is OK if the chick respects you and treats you like a man should be treated. I wouldn't do any of these things for entitled cunts.
DianaDewAsmr 11y ago
Some of these are certainly "gentleman" behaviours but they could be adopted by guys who have no game or whatsoever and it could result in being seen as even more beta (IMO).
And yes like others said it's women who blatantly rejected and shamed chivalry (publicly but still getting wet dreams about being the damsel in distress saved by the hero) so it's funny how they cry now that no decent man is left (especially close to/post wall) and real men were from the past. Yeah, it's probably true, but it's women that rejected "real men" because they weren't bothered to clean or do the dishes (it's oppressive!!/s)
Men have always had in mind to protect women until a few decades ago when women decided they'd be fine and strong on their own (of course only after technology made it easy to be "a strong independent woman", I'd like to see women on their own working like in Medieve..)
LibertarianLibertine 11y ago
Some of these are just proper behavior in general...