Imagine attraction as a set of ladders you're climbing up on. For men the ladder is usually singular and would go something like:
- No way would I fuck that.
- Only if drunk and desperate, wouldn't tell anyone afterwards.
- Would, but wouldn't brag about it.
- Would.
- Fuck yeah I would.
- I would drag my balls through a kilometer of broken glass just to smell the seat she farted on.
Us men are simple, but it is not quite as simple with women. Women actually have two different sets of ladders. The friendship ladder (aka friendzone) and the dating ladder (aka actually getting the girl). You are ranked on both of these ladders, depending on how you act.
A lot of men who don't know anything about women try and climb the friendship ladder. They will progress from an acquaintance, to an occasional coffee buddy, to a good friend, to a best friend... but they're on an entirely wrong set of ladders for what they want to achieve. Those men are likely quality men, who would make great boyfriends, but because of how they acted all they will get to do with that woman is to listen to her cry about how the dude whose cock she sucked yesterday just dumped her over text... and then the next day they'll listen to her talk about what great sex she had with that guy last night... Because those men are on the wrong set of ladders.
I understand the logic. I used to think so, as well. You invest, and invest, and invest... "If I'm a good friend, then eventually I'll be her boyfriend." It makes sense to men, because men fall in love with their female friends all the time. But that's not the way it works with women. If you get high up on that friendship ladder, the girl will think of sex with you like sex with her own brother, or a lamp or something. You will become an entirely non-sexual entity for her. The Book of Pook has an excellent example on pages 23-24, where he asks a hypothetical woman ‘Does Mr. Nice Guy have a penis?’, and the hypothetical woman replies, shocked “What!? Mr. Nice Guy!? NO WAY! He could never have a penis!”
Meanwhile, the girl could go for a girl's night out, get wasted, fuck a guy who she met for the first time in her life, a much lower quality man than her friend, and may even regret it afterwards, but will still do it. Why? Because that random guy climbed up the dating ladder.
A woman will sooner fuck a guy that's 3/10 on the dating ladder and a 0/10 on the friendship ladder (she won't see him again in her life) than a guy that's 10/10 on the friendship ladder but a 0/10 on the dating ladder.
And I emphasize this: Do not think women that do such a thing (have a one night stand) are "whores". My sister's friend, who was a straight A student, and a virgin up to that point (she was 17, still in highschool), got drunk at a birthday party and lost her virginity in a fucking cornfield. Get rid of the purity fantasy, sex is something women love, and they will do it, no matter how "pure" and "innocent" they appear to you.
Make sure you're a lover, and not a provider. Make your intentions known from the very first interaction with the girl in question, and you'll automatically be placed somewhere on the dating ladder. Do not pussyfoot around. Tease her, provoke her, poke her (metaphorically). Insert emotions into your conversation, don't be talking about the weather or how mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell. The more logical and the less emotional your conversation with the girl is, the worse off you are. What do you want a relationship with a girl to be about, do you want to talk about DNA or genetics all day? Presumably not, so stop talking to her about that dumb shit, and embrace your own sexuality. Be a guy, talk like a guy, act like a guy.
Be direct, or you'll be climbing the friendship ladder before you know it. No matter how low on the dating ladder you are, there's a chance you'll get somewhere with her, if you get lucky and show up at the right moment. The dude that is not on the dating ladder will not get her into bed, no matter how high up the friendship ladder he is ("wow you're such a great guy, I wish I could find someone like you, just not you"). That guy is indeed an important person to the girl, but not in the way he wants to be.
Guys on the friendship ladder will often wonder "what is wrong with me, I am a much better guy than any of those dudes she was with", but he will not understand the truth: Nothing is wrong with him, he's just on the wrong set of ladders.
This is a small part of (a large amount of) my lessons which you can find on this conveniently placed link: https://drive.google.com/drive/u/1/folders/1GyR5vwLjd9ZA31sZafI4hx7NRS3g9YpU
Posting a new one approximately every two weeks, aiming to finish around the end of the year and then make a book out of it. If you find the post helpful, feel free to check more out, it is all free.
MrSupreme 41m ago
This. I'd rather be out of the dating ladder than IN the friendship ladder. In other words, if we're not gonna fuck then she's out of my life.
throwaway415 1d ago
this is pretty old school. I remember there was a website that talked about ladder theory sometime around the late 90s or early 2000s. it was only half serious but its never rung more true than in recent years
edit: lol wow its still up https://laddertheory.com/
Celicni 14h ago
That website is fucking hilarious, I had no idea about it. Thanks for showing me.
cundardunfinished 1d ago
Au contraire, the moral of your story is that all women are whores. The 17 year old only found out she was a whore that night.
Celicni 14h ago
If all the women are whores, then none of them are whores. Whore/slut are labels to mark a promiscuous woman. We know that's the default state for them, which is why I say "get rid of the purity fantasy". I guess both interpretations are fine, I just think it's more healthy to think on the positive side.