The term “emotional labor” has slowly infiltrated mainstream language. A quick Google search explains that it originated in 1980s feminist theory, and is defined as “the editing work of emotions that someone would do in order to have an effect on the emotions of someone else.”

During the past few years - both in real life and on social media - I have heard “emotional labor” used countless times. It’s a buzzword used almost exclusively by women, often to argue that there is an imbalance of responsibilities between men and women in romantic relationships.

Common examples of “emotional labor” in romantic relationships include:

• Remembering personal details (birthdays/anniversaries)
• Managing family dynamics (soothing a crying baby)
• Providing emotional support (listening to the partner vent)

Women argue that they generally perform more “emotional labor” than men. Here’s the thing, though. Almost all “emotional labor” is self-imposed - regardless of the gender of the person performing it - and isn’t required for that person’s life to be easier or happier.

Take the example of somebody (Person A) making an effort to remember all of their friend’s birthdays. Person A buys gifts, plans parties, etc. They perform all of the “emotional labor” to celebrate their friends. Sure, it’s a nice thing to do…but it isn’t necessary. Nobody is going to die if Person A doesn’t write them a birthday card. Therefore, Person A’s “emotional labor” is completely self-imposed as they go out of their way to appease others.

Perhaps Person A is in a relationship with Person B. Person A wants to raise a pet together, and convinces Person B, who wasn’t so hot about the idea. Person A does most of the “emotional labor” of taking care of the pet; feeding it, taking it to the veterinarian, cleaning its litter box, etc. Person B helps too, of course, just not to the extent that Person A does. After awhile, Person A feels resentment toward Person B for not doing as much of the “emotional labor” as their partner. However, Person A forgets that taking care of a pet is completely unnecessary for living happily, and therefore, the “emotional labor” became self-imposed from the very moment that Person A decided to get a pet.

The concept can be extrapolated to nearly every situation in which “emotional labor” is performed. Even the fundamental aspect of being in a romantic relationship - in and of itself - is self-imposed: if the relationship is too laborious, either party can simply end it!

Any redpilled man immediately recognizes how women can use the buzzword to belittle and manipulate men.

I.e. “I do the bulk of the ‘emotional labor.’ My husband doesn’t do shit! It’s really frustrating, and I wish he would help me do X, Y, and Z. If he doesn’t step up soon, I might divorce him.”

The issue, as I pointed out, is that the “X, Y, and Z” actions in that quote are self-imposed. The woman added unnecessary stress to her life, then threatened her husband for not bearing it himself.

Furthermore, these types of conversations often neglect the fact that men perform tons of “emotional labor.” Generally speaking, men are in charge of maintaining the house and vehicle, protecting his woman and kids if dangerous situations arise, managing finances, suppressing negative emotions, navigating complex social settings, and more. All under the pressure of having most of his shit taken if his wife ups and leaves him someday.

Of course, from an evolutionary standpoint, women need “emotional labor” in order to survive. Before civilization, women built strong networks among themselves to help raise children, keep their caves tidy, and protect themselves from predators when men weren’t around. This networking translates into the modern day when women remember their friend’s birthdays and feel a desire to take care of a pet. Aka “emotional labor.”

The downside of this concept is that - again, from an evolutionary standpoint - women are designed to constantly want more and more. And they use every tool at their disposal to get it, including manipulating men with the “you don’t do any emotional labor” argument.

So whenever a redpilled man is confronted by a woman who accuses him of this, he must treat it as any other shit test. IBut first, i’s important for the man to understand this concept and why it exists. Then it becomes much easier to handle the shit test.

Honestly, I give kudos to the feminists for coining this term. It has allowed me to reinforce my own philosophy - just not in the way that feminists thought it would.

Now go hit the gym, bros!