Push/Pull

In order to feel how good something is, you often need to feel how bad you are off without it. This is a people thing, not a woman thing. You are just as susceptible to it as anyone, it is lodged deep within us on a primal level. You get used to something and value it less. You forget just how special the person next to you is, you start taking them for granted. It is only when you lose something that you realize all the good stuff about that thing, which you were taking for granted previously.

So, to avoid the girl getting bored and taking us for granted, we will implement a technique known officially as push/pull, or as you may know it "playing hot and cold". This absolutely works on every girl, but is more necessary on the validation types of girls. With them you'll need to implement this quite often. The affectionate girls you just sometimes poke a little bit, every now and then, just so they don't take you for granted.

So, what does pulling and pushing mean outside of the gym?

Pulling (+) is an action that creates closeness, an action which builds connection between the two of you. Examples of pulling are compliments, affection, creating rapport, agreeing about core values and goals and so on. Pulling generates certainty and releases tension between you (more on tension and the level you want to keep it at in a future lesson).

Pushing (-) is an action that creates distance between the two of you, and breaks the connection for a moment. Examples of pushing are teasing her, being mysterious and not answering her questions, breaking rapport, making her qualify herself to you, not giving her attention and so on. Pushing generates uncertainty and builds tension.

Together, push and pull create an emotional rollercoaster which women need to feel that "spark" in the relationship. What the guys who are clueless with women often do is try to pull the girl towards them... and they pull... and pull... They only go one way, and the girl is likely to get bored and instead push them away... only for those guys to just keep on pulling and pulling, completely ruining their every chance with that girl.

What those guys need to do, instead, is to sometimes take a step back, and push the girl away instead of pulling. That way, the girl will, for a moment, actually feel like she's about to lose all that good energy that she's enjoying, and react better.

Some verbal examples:

• "I'm leaving now, can't have you around..." (-) "I'm having way too much fun with you!" (+)
• "You are one of the most interesting girls I've met..." (+) "...in the past half an hour." (-) | - This is a very effective one I used on my current girl, and, like the cold reading examples I emphasize, she will occasionally recall back to it. That's how effective it is.
• |Funny conversation between the two of you| (+)... "haha, oh wait you're from X town? What a shame..." (-)
• |She says something stupid and you look at her, disappointed, quiet for a second| (-) "Okay, I'll give you another chance" (+) while tapping her on the shoulder or hugging her, depending on how much you've progressed with kino.
• "You're pretty cute..." (+) "...it's a shame you're blonde though." (-)
• "I love all of you..." (+) ...said while squeezing a roll of fat (-), just be ready to block her punch lol. | This is obviously once the two of you are in a serious relationship, because you should never stop push/pull.
• "We've just met but it takes me very little to know when I really like a person" (+)... "or when I really don't." (-)
• "There's this one thing I really don't like about you..." (-) "We've hit it off so quickly (+), that it's very weird..." (-) "But hey, maybe I'll end up liking that!" (+)

Note that push/pull is not necessarily negging (backhanded compliments) even if they can overlap. The idea is to authentically make the interaction more fun for the both of you, not to tear down the girl. Push/pull is a playful game between the two of you, not some manipulation tactic. Women enjoy this stuff, because they are emotional creatures. You know how after the two of you have a fight (-) you have really intense sex after you make up (+)? That's natural push/pull.

The important thing with push/pull is to not overdo it and not make it obvious. You need to be playful the entire time. She needs to be thinking "is he joking... or is he serious?"

If you overdo push/pull with a girl who's not as into validation as you may think, if you manage to find a good affectionate girl with a stable upbringing, she will appreciate push/pull... to an extent, as all women do. But if you do it too often she will at some point start thinking "I don't need this" and walk away. She wants the two of you to be a team, people that match each other, not two separate people that attack each other constantly. The validation girls have a different mindset, and with them push/pull will be a part of your every interaction.

If you do this in a dumb, fake, obvious way, and the girl is smarter/more experienced, she will sense it, and then you're out. There's a big difference between randomly turning away from an enjoyable conversation to look at your phone, versus "naturally" getting bored of the conversation and turning away to go someplace else (and if you've done your job well she will chase you).

Get in the zone state, and implement push/pull playfully, and you will be fine. Do not focus on it, do not fake being something that you are not, just casually poke the girl when needed, all for the goal of making the interaction more fun for the both of you.

The ideal reaction to push/pull is the classic "oh my god you're such an asshole!", with the girl outwardly appearing "mad", all the while she's completely wet for you (on the inside, and maybe even the outside lol). And the correct response is obviously "I know" (and the subtext "I know you like it"). It's how you become the "charming asshole" Han Solo type guy that all girls love, rather than just being "an asshole". It's all about remaining playful and having fun, not following a script and faking your way to pussy with prepared lines and tearing her down.

Shit tests and how to pass them

Anyone can memorize a script, dress all flashy, have people hype him up how cool of a guy he is, and other stuff. That is why women will shit test men that they are attracted to, so as to confirm they're exactly what they're presenting themselves as (remember the table analogy). They want to get good genes, not a faker, and so they test.

Shit tests are GOOD! Remember that. You WANT to get shit tested, because women don't shit test "nice" guys. They don't shit test guys they're not interested in. If a woman is shit testing you, you are on your way to helping her mess up her sheets. Passing shit tests is a massive generator of attraction. She's looking to test you and tear you down, and you respond by not giving a fuck and flipping it on her. She will be vowed and her panties will be wet.

So, when a woman shit tests you, how to respond? There are a couple of ways:

1) Agree and amplify (my favorite and in my opinion by far the best)

2) Disagree and amplify

3) Ignore

4) Pressure flip

5) Reframe

6) Ridicule reframe

7) Change the subject

8) The nuclear option (reserved for women who aren't flirting (and people in general) and are giving shit tests because they're deliberately trying to make a fool out of you, or worse)

Agree and amplify means you take what she said and make fun of it by agreeing with it to absurdity. She asked something stupid or unnecessary, and you don't give a serious answer to such a question.

"How many girls have you slept with?" => "Today? Three and a half."

Disagree and amplify is similar. You take what she said and make fun of it, just by disagreeing rather than agreeing. Again, you don't respond seriously to shit tests.

"I bet you say that to all the girls." => "No, you're the first girl I've ever spoken to." while making it obvious with your expression and body language that it's fake.

Ignore is as simple as it sounds. Pause for a second, look at her, maybe raise an eyebrow and put on a face that says "girl you just said something ridiculously stupid but I'll gloss over that" and continue saying whatever you were previously. Note that you need to establish a certain amount of value first, for ignore to be a valid response, otherwise you just look slow and like she "got you".

"Blah blah blah bitchy shit test" => Slight pause and a smirk, then continue whatever you were saying.

Pressure flip is reversing the social pressure from you back to her. You do not answer the question, you "counterattack" so to say. Attack is the best defense, after all.

"You look too old to be talking to me." => "You look too young to be at this place/drinking, should I call the cops/your parents?"

Reframe is taking something she said (usually something negative), and giving it another meaning (something positive).

"You are too direct!" (implication that you just want sex immediately) => "Yeah, I like seeing who can match me early on, to save myself and the other person time."

Ridicule reframe is intentionally misinterpreting what she said, usually in a sexual way. If she unintentionally said something dirty, very much make fun of her.

"You know what's really sexy? When guys have a beard." (and you in this example don't) => "Nah, it really gets in the way when kissing."

Changing the subject is simple, much in the same way as ignoring. Pretend you didn't hear what she just said, and just swap to another topic of conversation. Best used if you can't come up with a good answer quickly enough.

"Blah blah blah shit test you don't want to respond to" => Start a new conversation based on a hook you threw out earlier.

The nuclear option is something everyone is well aware of, and you probably did it on your own when you "had enough of someone's shit". It's when you completely destroy their self-worth by going for the metaphorical jugular. For attractive women this is by implying you do not find them sexually attractive at all, it is the worst hit you can inflict on their ego. I strongly recommend reserving this option only for women (people) who are on the offensive and deliberately trying to provoke you for whatever reason and/or tear you down in front of others. There is no need to use this in a regular conversation.

Example: A bitchy woman telling everyone around you: "He's such an asshole, I bet he uses stupid pickup lines on all the girls" => "I bet you’re single because your face looks like a 9/11 crash site."

As you can see, shit tests can be passed in a multitude of ways, so even when passing it’s not strictly a matter of "did you pass" but just as important is "how you passed." It's important to understand that you can't respond to every single shit test with every single variation, so use your brain. You need to find a style that works for the situation, and that you can pull off based on your personality. You can't be pulling off the "No, I'm a virgin" disagree and amplify example, if you look like you could be one. Nobody's gonna doubt the ripped Chad if he says it, but if you just started your journey of self-improvement, people can think you're serious.

If you have a good sense of humor, agree and amplify is something you'll do most of the time. If you're an aggressive person at heart, quickly finding flaws in a person and deflecting, then pressure flip is your usual response. But no matter what, you must always be ready for shit tests. They can come straight out of nowhere, when you least expect them, and you absolutely must not falter in the middle of a shit test. Being good at improv is really important for that reason, and getting good in general conversation is something you should do.

The thing with shit tests is that you really should not give concrete examples, because most shit tests are context dependent, and personalized. A tall guy won't be getting shit tested about being short, will he? Going all "she said this, what do I say in return" is a very bad mindset to have. You need to internalize shit tests and come up with your own style, and answer on the spot. If you use prepared lines, and they are not congruent with the way you usually speak, it's going to come off as fake and obvious.

I can just fire off a reply within a second to pretty much any shit test, because I've gotten into the right mindset over the years. The mindset is to hold frame, aka not let absolutely anything phase you, all the while having fun. Yes, if you're trying to hook up with a hottie, and she's feeling bitchy, she's gonna say some fucked up shit to you. Even if it gets you deep down, you must not let it show and you should put on a confident face. If you are not reactive to her shit, if you take everything in stride, and if you're having fun seeing her try (and fail) to get to you, she will be attracted.

Frame (remember this, very important) is a concept which essentially means "composure and self-control." Imagine you're a painting on a gallery wall. You are kept straight and presentable by the frame you are kept in. If the frame was taken away, you would fold and fall to the floor, bent out of shape. Holding your frame is key not just to seduction, but to life.

The person with the stronger frame "leads" the conversation. Your frame must never falter in front of a woman, you must never be within her frame (letting her dictate the convo). This is important not just for 1 on 1 conversations, as in a larger group the person with the strongest frame is the leader.

Anyway, all of this "theory" stuff is great and all, but I bet you would appreciate some more examples. I will provide answers to some common ones so you get an idea of how to deal with them, as well as get a starting spot to work from:

• "Are you trying to hook up with me?" => "Hook up with you? I already planned out our wedding!" (AA)
• "Are you a player?" => "You don't know the half of it" said with a confident smirk. (AA) | "Me? No! I'm a virgin ;) " (DA)
• "Wow you're short" => "Yeah, I'm a dwarf even when I put on my heels." (AA) | "It means girls don't have to climb on their toes to kiss me." (Reframe)
• "I bet you say that to all the girls” => "Yeah, every single one, did you think you were special?" (Pressure flip)
• "Wow you're ugly." => "Yeah, I don't even need a mask for halloween." (AA)
• "Haha Tom is one of those player guys, you can tell just by looking at him!" (Tom is you, in this example) => "Looks like you have an eye for talent!" (AA)
• "Buy me a drink!" => "No, you buy me a drink". (Pressure flip)
• "I have a boyfriend!" (translated: I may or may not have a boyfriend) => "That's nice, anyway..." (Ignore, but determine whether it was a shit test or real later on)
• "Why didn't you bring me flowers?" => "What, and have you blush, all confused and unable to hold a conversation?" (Reframe)
• "Hold my purse" => "Don't you have a guy best friend to do that?" (Pressure flip) Note: Not always a shit test, if she's going to do something and the purse would actually get in the way, like if she's going to the bathroom, it is okay to take it. Just don't act like a bitch.
• "That guy over there is really cute!" => "Yeah, I'd do him." (AA)

Shit tests can be straight up mean, but you must be an immovable rock regardless. Remember, you're a confident man who is not shaken by anything, least of all a little girl you just met. If there's something visibly off about you, she's gonna test you on that, but take it as a good sign, rather than thinking she's a bitch.

Let's say you have a lazy eye:

• "What's wrong with your eye?" -> "Oh this? It's really useful, I get to watch you with one eye, and with the other I'm looking around to see if another girl would fit me more." (reframe + pressure flip)

Or if you have really big ears:

• "You have really big ears." => "Yeah, everyone tells me I'm a great listener." (AA)

In general, a good rule of thumb for beginners dealing with shit tests is to respond with anything other than the direct question being asked. If in doubt, err towards being an asshole. Being identified as a provider ("beta") dries up panties quicker than you can boil an egg in the Sahara desert. If you show boldness and a cocky-funny attitude, you’ll do just fine.

If you start justifying yourself at any point, you have failed. Would you bother justifying yourself to your five year old cousin? Giving a serious answer to a ridiculous question will make people think you have something to hide. Ever heard the phrase "why are you being defensive"?

Note: If you're on the spectrum the paragraph above may be hard to swallow. As mentioned, I used to be a turbo autist, and I absolutely would justify my answer to a five year old, and the idea of people thinking I'm lying because I gave a response to a question was blatantly ridiculous to me. As did the idea of people asking questions for any other reason than to get an actual answer to them. But alas, "normies" (aka most people) are genuinely like that. Just take my word for it if it sounds unreal to you.

Of note is that shit tests are not only verbal! Being late to a date can be a shit test, or asking you to do something for her, even when she is perfectly capable of doing it herself. If she's late for a date, call her out on her bullshit, explain that you will not tolerate disrespect. If she asks you to hold her drink, you can take it... and then take a sip from it. Shit tests are not only verbal, and they do not have to be responded to verbally.

The nice thing about shit tests is that once you learn how to deal with them in the context of women you are flirting with, you start transferring that knowledge into the rest of your life. Everyone shit tests, more or less, and passing tests correctly is practically a cheat code in life. This is especially helpful if you're neurodivergent, because you will start noticing how often "normies" do it. I repeat, everyone shit tests: Your friends, your coworkers, your mom. Passing shit tests raises your perceived social value, failing shit tests lowers your perceived social value. Pass people’s shit tests to garner popularity and social success, fail them, and you will become an ostracized and unconfident outcast.

To use another example, a job interview is a shit test. You’re going to get shit tested to see if you’re "worth employing". Those weird questions you get asked such as "if you had any kind of super power, what would it be and why?" and "name your biggest weakness" are shit tests designed to determine your confidence, social aptitude, and other skills. It’s not only what you respond with that matters, but likewise how quickly and in what manner (are you confident or submissive).

Passing shit tests is the single most important thing you can learn! Read and reread everything until you get it, go online and look up more material on shit tests, and examples, until you fully "get it". It is the single most important piece of advice you are going to learn, do not gloss over this. Shit tests are an inescapable and recurring element of life, so you better get good at handling them.

They may seem like a bother now, but passing shit tests can become fun! If you get good at "shit-talking" you will find passing shit tests to be not only easy, but also fun.

"But isn't passing a shit test just avoiding the proposed question?" Yes, it is, because 90% of the time, the question is completely irrelevant and is meant to gauge a reaction out of you. Do not even begin to think about the LOGICAL implications of shit tests, when it comes to women. They don't care about the answer. The more logical you are (especially if you're autistic) the less that sentence will make sense, so I will repeat it: Women don't care about the logical answer to their question! Insert emotions, not logic. Pass the shit test correctly, and you will give them good emotions, accomplishing what we're trying to do.

Men are more logical, and with them you will have to do an evaluation occasionally, see whether it is worth logically responding, because some guys are actually genuine in their questions. That said...

Male shit tests

The more you grow and improve, the more shit tests you'll get from both women AND men. While the male shit tests will not be sexual in nature, the concept is the same. However, there are two different categories of men that will test you, the "sore losers" and the "successful men".

1) The sore losers will be most of the men you already know, as well as most men in general. They see you as different. They have known you earlier when you were less successful and weaker, and they liked it that way (probably because they could walk over you easier).

But now that they see you changing, getting serious about lifting, diet, career, success with women, they will try to "challenge you". Not because they want you to be better, but because they want to see if you're pretending. They wish you were still like them, and they don't want to believe someone could change at their core, as that being possible will mean that it is only them who are responsible for their bad lives, not some "fate" they were blaming it on until now. You used to be like them, and now you're much better, and they can't let themselves accept that.

They will shit test you aggressively, trying to "bring you down to their level". Google "crabs in a bucket" mentality. They can't put in the effort, so they don't want to see you succeed.

As you change, you will notice your "friends" behaving differently towards you. This is not to say that every "tease" is a shit test, as for guys "dunking on each other" is the way we hang out, it is normal. But if you pay a little attention, you can easily determine whether their comments are just "fucking around" or if there is hostility behind those words. I trust you to use your best judgement. Recognize the ones that are just jealous, and cut them out of your life. Keep the ones that want to improve, just as you have, and leave the ones willing to stagnate behind.

2) Successful men, aka the masculine ones, the "Chads", the ones that don't want bullshit in their lives will "dunk on" you (read: shit test your ass a new one) aggressively at the start. They will do it to determine just how much of a man you are. I have seen many, MANY comments on the internet from weak guys about how these are just "assholes". The weak, effeminate "men" will feel bullied, rather than challenged, and this tells the shit-tester everything he needs to know about such a "man".

Those guys fail to understand that male shit tests are essentially a social initiation ritual that all men must go through when they are new to a group. You will be relentlessly ridiculed to determine what you’re like and where you belong in the pecking order. If you are too reactive, you will be rejected and exiled from the group, or relegated to the bottom position as the emotional punch bag everybody ridicules for cheap laughs. To avoid finding yourself condemned to such a fate, you must demonstrate you can spar verbally without taking too much to heart.

The art of silence

When you’re powerful, other people see opportunities in attempting to bring you down a notch. Such people will try to get you to react to their bullshit merely so they may bolster their reputation by latching onto yours. It is for this reason that the art of silence aka ignoring your enemies overtly is a necessary skill set that all successful men should master and employ. It is simple, when you feel someone provoking a response from you, ask yourself the question "is there a way for me to benefit from responding to this?" If the answer is no, replying is pointless.

Such shit tests are typically obvious in their intent to put you on the defense. Once you get caught in a web of shit testing, you will often find yourself justifying your choices and explaining your actions. This lowers your social value, wins you no respect and digs an even deeper hole. Logic fails in handling shit tests, people do not respect rationality, they respect only indications of high status. Explaining yourself, no matter how rational your explanation is will be perceived as a demonstration of low status. Do not justify yourself!!!!. If you find yourself explaining yourself in the midst of an argument, you’re losing and would be far better off just immediately exiting stage instead.

This is something VERY important to realize and something I myself still struggle with. It's the autism, the need for logic. But you must ignore it, and understand that shit tests are not a game logic can win!

Comfort tests

Another version of a test women do is called a comfort test, and is applied later on, when the two of you are in a long term relationship (LTR). These tests are the woman testing you whether you will still be there for her tomorrow, whether your relationship is still strong. This is basically her insecurity showing, and you deal with this by reassuring her that you still want her, and enjoy her company (but you do not NEED her).

Think of how you might feel if you are the worst player on a baseball team, but good enough not to get cut. You will continually feel discouraged that everyone else is better. You, metaphorically the woman in this example, eventually rage quitting would be the comfort test. The coach of the team giving you a pep talk to stay is passing the comfort test.

Comfort tests are good, just as shit tests, but if you get too many of them at once that may be a sign that you are too much of a lover/alpha. Depending on what you are looking for out of the relationship you are in, that can be a good or a bad thing. Remember that in an ideal relationship you are neither a lover nor a provider, but rather a mix of both. If your goal is to eventually marry this woman, if she proves herself to be deservant of it, it may be worth to have a serious discussion about it and dispel her insecurities. Just remember not to revert to your nice guy days. Again, you WANT her, you ENJOY her company, maybe you even LOVE her, but you do not need her!

Comfort tests also take the form of a woman trying to turn you into a provider/beta. It's the natural instinct of a woman to want to lock you down, as you are a high quality man. However, this instinct is illogical at its core. She will attempt to transform you into a man who other woman will not want, so they do not steal you from her, but at the same time that means transforming you into a man she herself will not want anymore. "You're not the man I fell in love with" and all that.

"Baby you're getting a bit too big, why don't you skip the gym sometimes and hang out with me more?" (There definitely is such a thing as "too big", but you're never reaching that point without steroids) "You're going out with your friends again?" "You're going out for coffee with a girl!?" (your female friend)

All of these are comfort tests aimed to get you to become a worse version of yourself. You must never give in to any of these. "Enough" does not exist, and there is no going back once you give in. "Give them a finger and they'll bite off the entire hand" is an expression we have in Serbia. Her requests will snowball, and you'll end up a single fatty with no friends after a five year relationship which you thought would end in marriage. Always remain the active, confident, hot guy with a social life. Do not give in to her requests, not even "just this once, to shut her up".

It’s imperative to know the difference between shit tests and comfort tests. Shit tests are actions which try to challenge you and take away your power. Comfort tests are expressions of vulnerability, an expression of an important need. They are a great opportunity to demonstrate your ability as a trusted leader by dispelling her insecurity. In a long term relationship you need to be a leader, someone the girl follows because she trusts him to take care of her, not a dominator, someone the girl follows out of fear of potential negative consequences.

Generally a shit tests is about you, and something you did/are doing, while a comfort test is about her and her feelings, but not always. Use your best judgement, and if unsure, best to err on the side of being a lover.

This is part of a larger collection of advice and knowledge I collected over the years, with the goal of having all of red pill knowledge in one place. If you see something that seems familiar, that's because I am not the inventor of this, but a collector and an interpreter. To see more, go here: https://drive.google.com/drive/u/1/folders/1GyR5vwLjd9ZA31sZafI4hx7NRS3g9YpU

There's optionally a discord you can join in Lesson #0.

I look forward to feedback from Endorsed Contributors, and people in the know.