Although this was probably not needed, I called my ex to ask her for closure. Despite what the internet says, it did help.
I found out a lot of things that weren't all even what I was calling to ask her about.
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She had her defenses up the whole time we were seeing each other, which was something that I'd considered but I didn't believe. Instead, I believed that she just wasn't into me. This was sperg black pilled thinking. Her actions showed that she was into me, but I wanted compliments and shit, despite the fact that I never really gave her many.
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She wrote a message about a month after we stopped seeing each other, telling me how much she never wants me in her life again and how she never wants to talk again, and how she's totally over me. She had never sent this to me but she had it saved and sent it to me the other day when I was blowing up her phone having a sperg attack (not my finest moment). I was able to turn the conversation around and talk to her on the phone to get answers to my questions, which admittedly a healthier person wouldn't need answers to. She told me that she wrote the message a month after we'd stopped seeing each other, and I asked if I had contacted her or had done something to prompt that. She said that I hadn't, but that she anticipated it. Yet any of the times I've contacted her before a couple days ago (again, for reasons that were due to poor mental condition), she did not send the message to me.
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Apparently she's been viewing my Instagram page and saw a story highlight of mine and got mad because I didn't used to post. She had already had my stories hidden and she didn't come up on the viewer list, and she confirmed that she viewed it on my page. This is after she typed that message about how she was over me.
- Apparently her ex who she had started seeing again at some point after I told her I didn't want a relationship was not some non-committal Alpha, and he was actually trying to commit to her. She said she didn't acknowledge his plans because she didn't want long distance (he told her he was moving when they were on the date when they reunited), but I don't believe her because to me it seems like she had cognitive dissonance and didn't want to admit that she was desperate for commitment. Regardless, the spergs were wrong when they said that her ex was an Alpha who just got the best of her without commitment.
What I've learned is that what you give is what you get. If you're a dick then a girl isn't going to shower you with compliments. I was kind of a dick honestly. I did notice at one point that on the occasions that I did something nice for her she complimented me more and did nice things for me.
Basically, I think that when you join the red pill you have to walk through a bunch of larpers who try to paint every dude with a question or dilemma as some kind of beta. This fucked with my head, and I saw a post recently here from a guy who was afraid to compliment his girlfriend or whatever during sex because of what the red pill says.
Guys, the narrative we see here so often is crazy. I treated this girl somewhat badly and she was very into me. Yet, some fucker who introduced me to the red pill (who I've just blocked a few days ago) told me that her ex was her Alpha Fucks. That's what prompted me to call. All of this Alpha Fucks/Beta Bucks shit is only a real risk if you're more retarded than me. It seems that a simple yet effective formula is to spend time with girls who treat you well, and then treat them in accordance to how they treat you.
So yeah, now that I've spent way too long obsessing about whether I'm a beta I can finally move on. Although for many it's easy to separate the exaggerated hysteria from reality, for me and many others we tend to see the worst and become blackpilled. So hopefully this post helps people realize that some of the extreme comments you see are not necessarily the truth.
mattyanon Admin 1w ago
This is her re-interpretting events to benefit her own short term emotional state at the time of asking.
Err........ this is all fucked up.
Right. Noone needs to type out a message to themselves declaring they are over someone.
That's a hell of a stretch.
Often with women: the move you give the LESS you get. Ask any guy married for more than 3 years.
And the less you give, the MORE you get. Ask any guy who offers her nothing but sex.
There are many people who (intentionally or otherwise) misinterpret what is said on TRP due to filtering with their own biases.
Right
Most of TRP is wrong because one guy happened to give the wrong interpretation of who your ex is seeing?
Right. I agree, but that's hardly enough to undermine everything TRP has ever said.
Err.........
Yeah. Hell of a stretch.
Wintergreen 1w ago
So is it safe to say that anything they say about any past situation only reflects how they feel in the moment of when they were asked?
I’m not saying TRP is wrong. I’m saying that many members of TRP are just black pilled guys who prey on men who shouldn’t be black pilled. In my case I’d likely have been far more successful with women had I not listened to black pillars.
mattyanon Admin 1w ago
Yes. Women do PR and manage their emotional state through their words, they have zero interest in truth or facts.
The black pill is giving up, so I am not surprised it's not useful for moving forwards.
Wintergreen 1w ago
Interesting. I’ll keep this in mind, thanks.
Kloi 1w ago
If you want a seriously long term relationship it's give and take.
If like me for the past ten years, youre an ass. You end up driving women away and crazy. They always go off the deep end when I'm done with them.
derdeutscher 1w ago
Not everyone is cut to be that kind of alpha guy you are maybe striving to be. And it is questionable good thing to be alpha guy at all.
As someone who is that kind of guy, to be it you need to be disturbed and broken at least at some level. And your personality needs to have some serious combination of psychopathy and narcissism elements. I will never understand why redpill comunity strives so much to be that guy. IMO being solid beta guy with good game is the healthiest thing to do.
But if it is what you really want...care less my dude, care less.
Kreaton01 1w ago
Are you sure?
Because, someone would only want that if they didn't know what they were asking for.
derdeutscher 1w ago
what do u mean bro Im not getting it
Kreaton01 1w ago
I guess what I was trying to say was, either being alpha doesn't require you to be a psychopath, or you're right and all of trp is either trying to be psychopaths without knowing or they already are.
That's a very grim picture of what at the end of the day aims to be a self improvement platform.
derdeutscher 1w ago
To say that redpill community is improvement platform is bit of a stretch. It attracts various people for various reasons..
I did not mean to say that you need to be full blown psychopath to be alpha, but many alpha-fucks type of guys are on a dark triad spectrum.
Wintergreen 1w ago
My post isn’t so much to say that I’m striving to be an alpha (though I’m not saying that I’m against it), I just said that the spergs are retarded by claiming that any time any guy fucks a girl you know it’s because he’s more alpha than you.
derdeutscher 1w ago
This is what bothers many men. Not only spergs. But it is far from reality..many guys laying women down are just chumps got lucky. Not some alpha fuckers. But the real truth is if you care, you lost already. Never forget its only your turn.
First-light 1w ago
A good post full of insight gained from thinking hard. Over the long haul you tend to more or less get what you give. The people who want you to copy the bad habits of some high value men -like treating women badly /with no care because they can- are totally missing the point. Bad "Alpha" habits don't make you more attractive. Dread is one of those drugs that works in the short term but tolerance then develops. You tend to need to up the dose next time. Eventually you have shot all you have and the patient is not responding as you would like. Being high value with options that women appreciate without needing to be shown is one thing, trying to use dread to get results you want form women is something only to do in desperate situations not regularly like the fake alphas do in their almost always STRs
Typo-MAGAshiv 2 1w ago
That is dread. Passive dread.
Wintergreen 1w ago
Thanks man. Yeah, you have to kind of look around at the real world. Even guys who slay a ton of pussy in the real world usually settle down with a woman eventually and compliment her. I’ve seen this type of guy compliment a stranger and try hard. And obviously I’m not saying to simp but like holy fuck, the amount of poor advice that some people give is insane.
In my case I wasn’t even trying to treat the girl badly, I just wasn’t secure enough to be kind because I felt that then I’d never know if she liked me or if she only pretended because I was nice. In the end all that that did was make the girl less outwardly affectionate while behind the scenes she was feeling like I didn’t like her despite her liking me.
Once I learned the truth I just gave her some free reassurance so I can sleep at night lol
First-light 1w ago
I think the secure enough to be kind thing is a real issue that we all struggle with more or less these days. I think you have been self aware to see it but actually we all have it loaded on us to a degree by the social/ legal situation.
You can't securely invest in a woman these days. They are known for changing their minds, yet they flourish with long term love and care. This makes women suffer more than men in the long term -cat ladies are not happy inside. But in the earlier years it puts men in a terrible position -invest (even if only emotionally) in a woman and she can just on a woman rip your heart up and walk off laughing. One has to be wise but to some extent there is always a calculated risk and we do have to be brave enough to take it to build anything much. But it really hurts when you are wrong and then you can get drawn by the black pill ideas.
redhawkes 2 1w ago
TRP will get you laid, but won't cure your autism.
Wintergreen 1w ago
Tbh you’ll get laid less if you follow the wrong people’s advice.
I’m really not trying to shit on TRP but some users act like saying xyz is the sole reason someone didn’t ruck a bitch. This shit fucked me up till I stopped listening to them.
There’s no forbidden way to ask a girl out nor any special, perfect way. These guys who say “tell her ur goin to do something fun bro with ur frans like an alphar and den go n e way n if she doesn’t show den u fun n e wey” are dumb as fuck. Like, just ask a bitch to meet you somewhere nearby and follow up shortly before the date and make sure she’s on schedule, what is wrong with planning a date like this? Why is it better to plan some extra activity that you have to do if she doesn’t come? If that’s what you want then fine, but no need to complicate it if not.
This is just me venting all the bullshit. I got “game” advice from the guy who introduced me to trp and he said you have to give her two options for date times or something, and I said “can’t you just ask when she’s free?” And he said “Do you realize how fucking beta that sounds? You’re basically saying ‘I love you so much I am waiting around for you to make time for me!” For years I avoided asking when they’re free, then later I mentioned that I just ask what time they’re free and he was like “Yeah, that seems like a pretty good way to set a date.” No consistency, but when they originally give the advice they act like it’s gospel.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1w ago
Redhawkes inst wrong, you are way too in your head about this stuff. There are maybe 4 sentences worth of principles this post covered. you make it way more than it needs to be. Should be at 1% this level of current investment you have
Wintergreen 1w ago
I’m not saying he’s wrong. This post is meant to help people who take the extremes to heart.
redhawkes 2 1w ago
There are tenets in TRP, meaning, the exceptions are not the rule. Overthinking is the fast lane to become TRP retard. The fact you asked some chick for closure means you don't even understand the basics of the game, even believed in the bullshit she told you.
The guy that introduced you to TRP is probably equally retarded, if not more. The beta/alpha shit is a guide, not a rule. Everyone has done it in the beginning. I can tell you from experience, no matter what, always swing more to the asshole side.
Women will forgive you for being a dick, but they won't forgive you for being a pussy. Be the amused asshole, not the outcome dependent asshole.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1w ago
This would make a great post if you turned it into a full post
Wintergreen 1w ago
What constitutes being an asshole?
And I asked for closure mainly about whether the ex wanted long distance or if he was just wanting casual. I believe what she said based on how she said it and our conversations in the past. What I don’t believe is her claim that she wasn’t considering long distance. Should I believe that or no?
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1w ago
You shouldn't have asked....
It was such a niche odd thing to focus on, because you thought some undesirable guy was an alpha fux, and was a massive frame break.
You should have just enjoyed the second but your ego and fixation on it was a massive breach of RP philosophy
Read Pook already he only addresses this about 50 times