From a Reddit post.
Topic question:
What drives women to settle for guys they're not attracted to in the modern era?
Response from this woman.
Facts:
Women only find a rather small subset of men physically attractivenot a fact.
Yet, I still see women get with guys that they're clearly not really into starting around age 30.who told you she's not really into him?
Most of the settling you see isn't really settling, it's people choosing a partner for a relationship with a partner who has high RMV.
women in their 30 have different priorities than in their 20s. the men she's gonna go after in her 30s aren't gonne be the same one's she went after in her 20s. hell even if she could land a guy like the one she choose in her 20s she'll probably pass to be with someone more mature and relationship material.
so this isn't women settling. it's women pursuing a relationship in a time in her life where she's ready for one instead of persuing fun men for short term fun.
the women who really do settle are probably women who has exteremly low RMV such as single mothers and extremly unattractive women. and even in these cases she isn't the only one settling, the dude probably isn't a catch himself so these things work out for everyone, kinda.
i think the reason men really hate settling is they want the fun early 20s girl to settle early with them, but she ain't doing that because she doesn't have to and don't want to. thats why they get angry when she consider them later in life. but from her pov she isn't settling for him, she's now not interested in short term and fun and ready for a relationship, that's all she sees. and he's angry he missed out.
oneimaginary 1y ago
The issue with this part of Whitney's behavior is her persistent anger over having to modify or settle her sexually transmitted diseases. She never thinks of you or looks at you the same way she did when the chad was berating her when she was twenty-one. You are only there to spend $16,000 on wedding bouquets.
oneimaginary 1y ago
@geometry dash The issue with this part of Whitney's behavior is her persistent anger over having to modify or settle her sexually transmitted diseases. She never thinks of you or looks at you the same way she did when the chad was berating her when she was twenty-one. You are only there to spend $16,000 on wedding bouquets.
andreen 1y ago
Take some time to reflect on your feelings and the dynamics in your relationship. Consider whether these feelings stem from specific incidents, broader relationship slither io issues, or external influences. Understanding your own emotions can help you communicate more effectively.
Weightyboy 1y ago
The problem with this aspect of whamyns behaviour is their ongoing resentment at having to settle/change her stds. She never looks at you or thinks of you the way she looked at the chad railing her in her 20s. You are just there to pay 16k for wedding flowers.
There is a famous 2 photo meme that a guy posted captioned "me and my wife on our wedding day" and "my wife meeting Rob Lowe", tells you everything you need to know about what settling means.
Never forget, be skittles guy.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
Anyway
I agree with a lot of this, but one the issues with it is that if they wait till they are 30s, they are unable to get the partners they would have gotten in their 20s. And I'm not talking about the low RMV potential Chads they fucked in their 20s. I am talking about higher RMV guys they could have had in their 20s, but now who already have girlfriends or wives.
By default, because she didn't want them in her 20s, she is having to settle with worse versions of these same men because that is largely all that is available 10 years later, when she is more RanThru™ and has less to offer than she did when she was young and fertile.
She would prefer the higher RMV guys she could have had and now has to take who is free or miss out into her 40s
Intrepid_Place53900 1 1y ago
Exactly. This is why post wall woman, tend to (settle) for guys, guys not as good looking as they were used to hook up with or have short term relations.
They never could get those level (SMV) guys, the guys viewed them as just for recreational use.
They have to move downward in (SMV), to find a guy they can get for LTR.
This is a woman's hamster, rationalizing, well of course I just had fun with those guys, I never considered more with them. Now that I've matured and want more, I found you. Blah! No, she couldn't get them to stick and had to move down the SMV ladder to find one who would.
I expect many many of these scenarios end up in a dead bedroom shortly after kids are born,etc. She admitted, she had her fun, then found him (existing LTR guy)
She has all those "bad" experiences to poison her future relationships. That's what the guy has to deal with = baggage
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
I agree, I was moreso saying if they focused on higher RMV guys when they were younger, they would get better SMV boyfriends that would still commit to them.
But they wait till they are 30, and thus end up with lower SMV guys that will commit to them
I'm not arguing they could have gotten high SMV chads.
The quality of their relationships is lower because instead of maximizing a balance between rmv and SMV they have to cheap out for mostly RMV post wall.
They could have gotten something in the middle, so where i disagree with your post is the binary choice you provided. They could have gone middle of the road, because they didn't, they are settling after 30
Intrepid_Place53900 1 1y ago
hmm, i get what you say, ( if they focused on higher RMV guys when they were younger, they would get better SMV boyfriends that would still commit to them).
I'm not sure about that though. an example is a plain Jane SMV 5, focusing on higher RMV guys when 20's, when early 30's is Plain Jane going to get a higher SMV guy than she could? No way. A girl in early 20's is always gonna get hotter guys than that same girl in 30's.
The way I look at it, is she shouldn't have hooked up with all those hot guys, SMV 7+, when she's a SMV 5. Tried to see if any would stick, got treated poorly (because the guy didn't care). Now that's she's 30's, she connects to a SMV 5 guy to settle down. That guy has to deal with her baggage now. Or has to decide if he wants to.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
A hb5 plain Jane can lock a hb6 average Jon, especially in her 20s if she does everything right.
Many of them don't, so they have to pick bob, 5 that doesn't satisfy hypergamy, and maybe makes more money than a lot of guys, but is not exciting.
The problem is that those 6's and 7s find someone better than plain Jane at 30.
You're operating under the assumption all these 7s are RP aware, slaying etc. they aren't. Most men aren't drowning in pussy, tons of 7s commit, and she would be better served trying to get 6-7s instead of Chad in her 20s and instead of boring bob "no sparks" in her 30s
They are settling far more at 30 than 20
Intrepid_Place53900 1 1y ago
agree (if she does everything right, she can get Jon who's a 6) Agree (she's be better off trying to get 6's, maybe a 7, instead of high 7/8/9 guys in her 20's)
But, my view is they aren't really "settling" at all.
They have their fun in their 20's with guys who they never were gonna lock down.
Then they either give up/ or decide to find a guy who's gonna stick around. Yes, a guy who's (enough), but not like those other guys.
I think we both agree, the girls going wild, with hot guys in their 20's, it's not good for them, or the guys they find (enough) later on. They both lose, but the guy loses a lot more.
sean_karaya 1y ago
In many cases, this is premeditated. Alexander Grace has videos to that end in his youtube channel. I am too lazy to download and sanitize it before posting here (to avoid unintentional doxxing) but you can go to his channel and search for keyword: "honest". As such the guys in her 30s are already pigeonholed, and her attraction to them is based on a 180° change due to her advancing age and shrinking comfort zone. Indeed she has a changed priority in her 30s. But why? because her biology is pressuring her, her comfort zone is shrinking. If she did not have that pressure, she'd not be into the new guy. This pressure also changes her sexual mechanism ( = he must commit and/or do housework and/or wine and dine her etc to get the box).
So the following things to take note:
Each of these are disgusting for a man.
Even if this was not premeditated, then the condition that her supposed "attraction" to the new guy is a result of a change of her circumstances forcing her . That means her fundamental desire without the additional forcing isn't with this guy.
That's also disgusting.
High RMV = high potential to extract more material out of him either by trading affection or by hanging the proverbial carrot of the same in front of him.
This is sickening.
In summary i admit "settling" is not a good term for this behavior, we need better terms. We can't use AF/BB in open forums.
I call such arrangements "Lastenträger" males ( = load bearer / yoke bearer) but I'd love to get a better word with negative connotation, that we can throw around, just like they throw around words like "incel" or (for age gap relationships) "groomer" or "predator".
Intrepid_Place53900 1 1y ago
oh, there's lots of names for it.
panty wetter / wallet filler
gets it /earns it
slayer / payer
wswZtyqNGQ 1y ago
As with all scammers, this woman leaves out a critical piece of information: that women insist that men choose only their same-age women. Add that variable and you see that it's really the women who are angry since they expect same-age men to accept their AF/BB strategy and are absolutely pissed when the high RMV men aim young.
Chinese gold diggers accept that they have a short shelf life and act accordingly, making outrageous demands when young and settling as soon as their demands aren't met. (The game theory strategy of 'hostage devaluation' is being thoroughly studied here.)