Context: So I decided to attend this expat website's anniversary party. It was held at an open area of a hotel.
I arrive 2 hours after the start time. I approach a couple of guys straightaway to get rid of approach anxiety. I chat with them for a few minutes. Guy I started talking to first was from Chad (the country) and I am North African, so there was common ground immediately. Other guy was Russian. Guy from Chad started shitting on me pretty quick, trying to make me submit to his frame and qualify. The other guy joined in as well. All of that was over me rejecting a cigarette. I caught the vibe and left after a minute of silence and all of us scanning around.
I approach another group of guys who were way more welcoming. I was thinking before the event that If I was to chat to guys, it should only be with attractive guys. That provides social proof and it's more interesting to chat to a top guy. I approach this short middle aged chad looking guy. He is a teacher. He had 4 work colleagues with him whom all work at the same school. 3 guys and one woman. I chat for a bit with one of the other guys, a Scottish guy. He was literally gaming me. I believe he was using me as practice to entering flow state. He was getting real close to my face and was loud, but confident and social. I would keep taking a small step back. I thought he was gay. He was doing body language stuff, like touching my shoulder when emphasizing something or trying to grab my attention when I looked away for more than 2 seconds. No other guy I got introduced to later touched me beyond a handshake.
Then as I am chatting to him, I get introduced to their female colleague. We start talking. She lived in my city back in my home country. She was definitely standing closer than normal. Mind you there was a DJ. It was moderately loud . So we keeping leaning into each other's ears when speaking. I started feeling sexual energy after a few minutes. Her tone and face were flirty. She looked like she was early 40s. She was a 4. She was more fun, smiley, sexual than the average girl I would approach in day game, and her tits had me feeling some type of way. Could have touched her more and escalated more as convo went on, but I wasn't organically attracted to her as soon as I met her. I high-fived her a couple times and she put decent force doing them, pushing a bit afterwards(testing my strength?). It was more of like "I'd definitely fuck, but would never notice her existence outside this event". She mentions a kid. I ask if she's married. She tells me she has a husband who works from home, so "It's the perfect marriage" aka hotwife vibes. I made a comment about him being a lame ass and staying at home while she goes out to parties. Here, I could have said something like "I can make feel young again" at this point as she had guessed my age and playfully refused to mention hers, even though I hadn't asked. Again could have teased and touched here. Then she cuts it short, says "nice to meet you" while reaching for a handshake and leaves(not even a hug after that much proximity). I think to myself "offf, that's brutal." She got her attention and left. I never validated her in any way though (compliments, etc.).
Later, I see this ambiguous (Asian?) looking chick. She had some big titties, the best at the venue by a mile. Nice ass, an arousing figure. I was standing near the area were people were lowkey dancing. She was in that area and I caught her eyeing me a few times. The Scottish guy from earlier was talking to her and her 2 other girl friends. I shift where I am standing, she goes to where I was standing when she was eyeing me. Then a few minutes later, I approach her. She was from Dagestan(they speak Russian). The conversation was boring. I was carrying it and she was in short answers mode. I could have teased her with what little she gave away, but her vibe was closed off/not fun. She wasn't feeling me. I try to re-ignite the conversation 2 or 3 times. I ask her to tell me something interesting. She tells me she has a dog and loves playing either WOW or LOL(I don't know these nerd games). I really tried with her, way more than necessary. She gets called as she won a prize by random picking by the organizers. I ask her to dance later AFTER she started eyeing me waaay more while dancing. She was ordering a drink and said later. Barely made eye contact in this quick exchange and had that fake bitch squinty eyes smile. I saw her throughout the rest of the night getting approached many times. Scottish guy played the long game with her friend, chatting to her on 5 different occasions with breaks in between. He escalated really well, chatted to her friends. Looks like he got her number, but left and she stayed and got approached by other guys.
Going to make a part 2 for takeaways and observations from the night.
User4566 1y ago
From the sounds of it, you should focus on other chicks there. I went out last night and (drunkenly) danced with a chick but I also scanned the room for other chicks. Yeah, she’s hot. Yeah, she’s got big titties. Yeah, I bet I’d want to fuck her too. But even as a beginner, I know not everyone will like me. You were too busy stalking her when you should have chatted up another girl. Girls DO shit test. I’ve raised women’s attraction by not being fazed by insults but in the club/bar scene, I think I’d rather talk to chicks why smile and seem to LIKE that I chose them especially when there are plenty at the venue.
Edit: I know that I’m still sensitive on the whole “not everyone likes me” thing when it comes to making friends, but I’m pretty cut-throat at nightclubs and bars because I don’t care about those bitches, they’re likely terrible people anyway.
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JamesSkepp 1y ago
Lol wtf. I get that you can do an occasional warmup set full of guys , but doing that all time seems weird. If you want to burn sets on warmups why not just go for girls anyway.
"Let me decrease my chances with girls by giving them a choice, me or the hot guy i stand next to" - IOW the hotness of the guy doesn't transfer to you, not like the hot girl does.
No it doesn't. "He doesn't have the courage to approach me so he approaches my male friends".
It's even more interesting to chat a hot girl.
Don't remind her about being married, she's here despite that. Also, depends on what exactly you said and how you said it, might have been good might have been bad.
Jfc.
A hot girl standing next to you doesn't entitle you to a hug or anything else. She wasn't into you at all.
See, he had 2 GIRLS talking with him not 2 guys. That's social proof.
That's a tease you could have used. Also: where are you glasses girl? Are you Daphne or Velma nerd? Etc.
You said that you do daygame. I don't know what kind of daygame you do, but you lack BASIC understanding of how the game should be done. Read Mystery Method, read some more about basic concepts, read both sidebars.
Secondly, you need to be in the flow and having fun. Standing still alone and scanning around and talking to guys is a major thing to avoid.
Finally, you had the entire night, you opened 3 sets. At that speed you're going to get your first number within a year.
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Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
That's when you shoot your shot with the best ones and then leave for greener pastures if the women are all mids
I think chatting guys can help you get into flow state but past that and periodic breaks to recharge it's pointless not talking to women instead
Married 40yo hb4? Next. Why spend any thought in that?
I agree with James. 3 approaches in one night is just unproductive. Don't make excuses next time, if the women are mid, bounce
Sounds like you got there, fell into sunk cost fallacy, and stayed there for nothing
You clearly have some medium game understanding but you need to have self respect and leave and go where the energy is. You stayed in a low-yield, low-reward situation with too much investment
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Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
Excuses was probably the wrong word, but you gave yourself reasons to stay at a place with no real game opportunities (by your standards) whether you posted about it or not
You were interacting with chicks that were either not interested or preoccupied very clearly with other guys, I was saying go to a night venue where there is .ore enthusiasm and opportunity for you. That place didn't sound like it was matching your vibes
Social proof is more with women. You can just talk to groups of girls more that you have no intention to bmag and hang around them, or show up with women, or have people coming up and talking to you
Social proof is hard to gain simply walking into a place and getting it. Social proof is more common is you arrive with for example a group of cute women
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