Been with my girl for a year and 2 months. Going very well few ups and downs. Been putting her off moving in for about 8 months. With knowing the iron rules there is no benefit in my eyes to her moving in apart from the contributions of money she is willing to offer which comes to more that half of my mortgage.
Is there a right time for a girl to move into your place if ever?
What legal cover should I take out for example a tenants agreement to cover my ass if things go sour. This is in the U.K. btw.
Any things I need to know or do?
I know rolo says never move in with a girl unless you are going to marry her within 6 months. She basically stays at mine for most of the week at the moment. So it does seem right to continue in growth?

Onetwothree123 2y ago
Tennancy agreement in last few years was constructed differently and gave some more protections, to Tennant, also consider that when signing agreement it implies she is sort of stranger consult would that bring any legal problems toward sexual harrasment etc.
One of the tennat protections are financial other it might create liability if she receives some benefits at your address (was in past).
Find out is it better to sign or not LODGER agreement. Lodger used to be notch down from Tennant with immediate expulsion if necessary.
Install CCTV and collect erratic behaviour from recordings. But never refer to CCTV except saying it is in such places and downplay its existence then save that convo so it can never be claimed it was hidden cam.
Mention in a joke that yiure proud of checking your child DNA and its 100% yours to avoid any drama with cucking,
If you want to prep better ask lawyer, get recorder so you dont forget answer.
Edit, lodger or paying guest to explore
Jakeyg 2y ago
Will do, thanks buddy
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2y ago
Probably shortly before the wedding, when you are engaged (or better yet, upon being actually married, officially)
This is not a personal endorsement of marriage I'm just answering the question
This is an iron rule for a reason.
Don't know the UK laws but from what I know men seem more screwed in Europe than America when it comes to sex difference treatment (i.e. men get shafted more in European countries from my understanding)
Fuck no.
Keep dating her, if it gets actually more serious then make that move.
Why does she stay with you so much as is? That in of itself could legally be construed as residency as is in some jurisdictions.
You have absolutely zero tangible benefit of letting her move in as a man.
None. This is just you caving in to her desires. You have zero benefit. You will only get sex reduced, get sick of her faster, give her a sense of entitlement, and other random bullshit and predicable pitfalls by making her a legal tenant and or roommate
You have only everything to lose. Sure, the reduced mortgage would be nice but the possible headaches will never outweigh the serval months of reduced mortgage you had if shit goes south
.
How would you react if you two suddenly broke up and she was inviting men to fuck over into your home while she's under a lease with you?
Or, how would you react if you came home early one day and she was fucking some dude in your bed, but she's a legal tenant.
It's not all that practical to legally say you're breaking the lease you signed her because you two broke up. The law is probably going to view her as a Tennant with rights based on the housing and renting laws of your jurisdiction, rather than view her as an ex, if shit goes south
Nothing good comes of this
Jakeyg 2y ago
Absolutely agree with you, however how long do you go with being that dude living by yourself before you incorporate a more family home Lifestyle. The negative sides seem to be inevitable but you can hold up your frame and status as much as possible to try make it work.
It is quite serious at this stage, more of a mature relationship considering I have a son also. Not with her.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2y ago
This is an even more pressing reason you should not be having her live with you. Don't let this be your son's eventual burden too
You are absolutely dead certain you've got the right time, such as commiting to an engagement.
I think dating anyone less than two years before marriage is a horrible idea (I'm not going to debate marriage in of itself in this post) but I wouldn't even entertain the idea of marrying a girl before two years.
Zero possibility of moving in before two years. You shouldn't even be considered letting a girl move in unless you've actually proposed and survive with almost no issues close to the wedding date
I can't give a solid time point. I think 2 years is a mandatory minimum for being (very serious) and any longer amount of time needed depends on the chick.
A girl with absolutely no red flags whatsoever 2 years later might be early enough to realize she's solid, the more red flags you start adding the more time you should seriously vet
Personally no less than two years in my opinion. For anything majorly serious to decide on
Jakeyg 2y ago
Yeah 2 years sounds about right , I guess it’s a way to test the waters aswell
Lone_Ranger 3 2y ago
You dont' mention how old you are.
Sounds like this is happening, and you are asking after the decision has been made.
If I were you, I would consider the tennancy agreement route. The reason for this is that you don't wan her to be able to claim that she was paying 'half the mortgage' at a later date if you break up. That might entitle her to some of the worth of the property.
If you do set a rent, make sure it specifies that she has her own room. And set the rent at higher than the mortgage - make sure it covers mortgage plus 50% of all utilities and maintenance and insurance. And make sure it only says 'rent' on the agreement.
If it were me, I would NOT notify my lender, but I would notify my insurer.
I don't know about this area - so ask someone who does. I'm just guessing.
Jakeyg 2y ago
I’m 29 with one son from previous. This is great info thanks
dongking 2y ago
How old are you? And why exactly is she moving in? I see little to no benefits. Half the mortgage isn't worth the pain in the ass, loss of sexlife and you losing frame etc.
Reconsider this, before it's too late.
Jakeyg 2y ago
I get this but until what age? I would like a big wholesome family unit at some point
Intrepid_Place53900 1 2y ago
If you do it,
try to keep her name of lease, or yours, don't (share) it. Don't (share) any purchases ,etc.
your goal is to be able to exit, easily. Nothing legal needed, no money to figure out.
furniture or anything, you don't "share", it's hers or mine.
mattyanon Admin 2y ago
...... until she decides not to. "Ooops I lost my job"..... "Ooops I'm pregnant".
Full tenancy agreement gives you a lot of protection including the right to kick her out. It makes clear that she is paying to be there and is not a dependent of yours. This makes a HUGE difference legally speaking. It's the difference between "can kick her out at any time" and "legal dependent who can milk you for decades".
Having this protection in place will make her feel better towards you and behave better towards you, because she knows she has to.
In what way is this "growth"?
This is growth for her, this is a step backwards for you: less options, less freedom, can't see other girls,, she can exploit you more and knows where you'll be.
Moving in SUCKS dude....... it fucking sucks.
Jakeyg 2y ago
Some real clear points thank you
whytehorse2021 2y ago
Honestly I would just ask a lawyer. Here in the US the only way you can protect your assets is to live in 2 separate houses. I really want you guys to have wives and kids, live together, and enjoy grand-kids one day... but modern women have made that nearly impossible. Maybe she can get a place next door and then it's just a short walk to see each other. If you have kids you can set up a co-parenting agreement.
Think of it like your plan B if the LTR doesn't work out. She sure has a plan B: her career and education plus alimony, child support, and half your assets. If it does work out then great, but you will always be able to walk away at any time, just like she can.
Jakeyg 2y ago
Real talk brother. Trying to stay positive but realistic at the same time