Monday cold approach 1 I approach a cute girl in the room next to the pool tables and ask if she wants to play pool. Her face showed a mix of surprise and interest, I can't recall her exact answers. She says she used to play, and I'm like let's go. I introduce myself and get her name (Erin). As she's getting her back I asked her about some art she had in front of her, and she says she did it during class or whatever. We're playing now and she's moving to my music a little. There's a little banter but not much, some kino too. When I'm with blonde she' carry her 50% of the conversation, with this girl I need to work a bit harder. I'm just tryna stay outta my head. I take her hand and give her a little spin and she says "smooth." I try it later, but with he cue stick it doesn't work. She takes off her jacket and I notice some arm tats, and she's 18 btw. There's not really any flirting going, but she's laughing at my sexual innuendos. After the couple games I say "we should do this again, what's your number?" I get it and as I say goodbye I also add "maybe we'll go mini golfing this week too." She agrees.

Tuesday Nothing much happens today besides be telling the blonde to come to library. She sits next to me there's kino and stuff. She's comfortable with me grabbing the underside of her thigh. We're just talking and I see the little headstone emoji. Ask her about it and she tells me she puts that in for guys in her contact she doesn't talk to anymore and ignores. I'm like "so it's like they're dead to you?" Her: yes. She scrolled down her contacts and has like 30 tombstone contacts, and this is excluding who she's currently texting. She claims she never put me as a headstone. She also mentions how a guy invited her over to "cook" and she turned him down that day. She literally has dozens of options, she's not even good looking. She's a little cute, but just smiles and giggles a lot. We make plans again for Saturday. I go into this little quiet room where 1 person is already in. She hesitantly follows me and asks what I'm doing. I put my hand on her hips then she runs out, I exit. She's like "there's someone in there", me "so?." She tells me she's shy and she giggles. Me: What'd you think I was gonna do? Her: Idk Me: Idk why I'm so patient with you (walks away)

Wednesday Got out of class walking with a jacked bro, see a girl sitting alone by door. I decided not to approach but bro tell me to do it. I do it.

approach 2 me: hey, I saw you were looking lonely her: oh, I'm just waiting to be picked up me: (I make some comment about wondering if she can drive and if she's responsible). her: oh, no. I don't have a car and my mom's picking me up, I'm 17. me: shit.. it was nice meeting you. I'd rate th

That approach was awful, I seriously didn't know what to say and it felt forced a little.

approach 3 Girl's pretty overweight but has a cute face. Thinking I shouldn't approach, she's overweight.. but then I realized I was justifying not to approach. I must approach now.

me: hey, your shirt's giving me travel vibes

her: oh yeah, I do like to travel

I take a seat and we're discussing travel and she tells me about her travel plans. Cruise ship, then flying to Nashville for a wedding. There's good energy, I introduce myself and she has this look when she takes my hand. Ask her what's that look and she says "I just gotta get back to studying for my math exam unless you're gonna help me." me: "That makes sense and falls right into my plan. I had timed my makeup exam and to walk out while catching you studying for your math exam she interrupts to say "that's kind of stalking". I continue with my A&A, then to help you and watch a movie while you're testing and even spend the night up here on the 3rd floor." Can't remember if she laughed or not, but I wasn't gonna close her anyways. I wished her luck and walked away feeling glad I approached.

holding frame with guy Later in game room I'm shooting pool with this outgoing, loud and egotistical guy. He' doesn't lift but socially confident and heavily involved in student gov. He's cockblocked me in the past. I used to beat him last semester, and on Monday, won our only game this semester against each other. Yesterday I was just minding my business and he comes in talking shit, then plays and loses. He shows up again, talking big game again. I call him out "dude, look at everyone else in the room and you look at me. You stroll in here just calling me out." We start arguing and throwing shade at each other. He talks up such big game, but he's persistent about playing me and keeping up the talk. I'm usually the pool shark, but he's beating me. I sing 8 ball into wrong pocket, and now he's up 2-0. Erin walks in as he's beating me and is saying shit like "I don't think I can make this shot.." and "I didn't think I could make that." I tell her we're settling something. I lose again, 3-0 now and he loudly exclaims "3 games in a row." More shit talk, and I can't shit on his play.

Despite losing those games (which hurt), I still hold my shoulders back and keep my head high. I'm holding my frame of being un-invested and even poke fun of his banter to Erin.

me: you can tell he really needs this

her: yeah, it looks like he does.

Erin's next to me the whole time and my arm is on the locker beside her. We start kinoing and now I play her. More kino from the both of us, and she ends up beating me 2-0 totaling for a 5 loss streak. She doesn't really shit test me, but I kind of roll along and playfully amplify about how I am doing horrible. Ask when she's free and she says Friday. Tell her we're gonna go mini-golfing and ask if she knows a place. She pauses (but I already had a place picked out) and she agrees for 6. We hug goodbye.

Thursday See blonde and she follows me. We sit down talking, kino. I don't escalate to kissing this time. My intuition's telling me this'll be the last time we talk and that she's going to cancel again.

Update and breakdown Harmony (blonde) texted to cancel this morning. I give her that single phone call, and she texts back with this shit. https://imgur.com/a/FjQJ9WL Her whole behavior is just fucking inconsiderate of the other person and combined with disrespect. That's gonna be a lot of women though. If she didn't text back I was gonna say some shit like "Hey, it's been tough tryna hangout with you, and get the impression you don't want this." But now that's pointless since she texted first. I just want to let her know I'm turning the page, not keeping her as a friend and that I won't look back. I'm thinking about saying "That's great, I'm happy for you. It was nice getting to know you Harmony, good luck with everything." I saw this coming and oddly feel good about all this. She wasn't gonna let this work out and was probably gonna string me on for a long time (fucking heartless imo), but I see through it and will confidently move on.

I'm glad I'm approaching more and slowly giving fewer fucks about things such as fear of rejection and the worry of looking bad. What's been helping is that I'm starting to get appreciation and praise from the people around me. For example, when I hang out with my theatre club, they'll tell me me how they think I'm a great guy, "life of the party" and making sure everyone's having a good time. I'm starting to internalize that "I am enough."

For the cold approach with Erin, it seemed to have worked. I'm trying to analyze if it's from probability or the fact I did something correct (and that I can replicate). I don't know, but I'm glad we're going out this evening, she made it so easy working out logistics (unlike other girls). I know she could flake, but I'm sure it'll go well. I'm happy to be moving forward as a man and one day finding girls who'll truly appreciate me. (Side note, I wanna take her to a bar that's open to 18+ as a second venue later. It's got some pool tables, and that's more for action for the action date. I trust I can hold frame against guys hitting on her.)

Thank you gentlemen, time to get in a good fucking workout.