It's a mental model you invest in and invest in and because you're too scared to polarize them this mental model of grandeur never gets tested and broken so it keeps growing stronger

chatGPT4: Oneitis is a term used to describe an unhealthy fixation on one person, often to the point of obsession. It can be a real and intense feeling, but it can also be influenced by one's own projections and imagination.

It's possible that in your case, your oneitis was influenced by your own projections and imagination. It's common to idealize someone we are attracted to and imagine them as perfect or having qualities that they may not actually possess. This can be a result of our own desires and expectations, rather than a true reflection of the other person.

It's important to be aware of these projections and to approach relationships with a realistic and grounded perspective. It's also important to focus on building connections with people based on mutual respect, trust, and communication, rather than idealizing someone or putting them on a pedestal.

The spell of oneitis is broken once you start to open up your options. It's a natural state of mind that everyone has the potential of slipping into.

If you have a 12 pack of beers in the fridge, you won't mind sharing a few of them out. But if you've only got one beer in the fridge, that's now your beer and you're possessive of it. But if you have one beer in the fridge, and know you can go out and get more, then it's not a massive problem if you lose that one beer, is it?

You're more invested in the thing that you feel you can't naturally replace. It's not enough to simply think you can replace something, it has to become a state of mind - to know deep down you can replace something. That is what abundance is. Trusting that if you want something enough, the universe will provide it for you as it always has, but you have to believe that and believe in yourself.

Next time anyone feels the grip of oneitis or scarcity, take a few steps back, observe that that's what is happening and then do something to get out of it. Build abundance. Talk to other girls, buy more beers or get more income to buy more beers, etc. This is why the top percentage of men in the World are so attractive to women, because they naturally are filled with abundance and it shows in their behaviour and demeanor and in the way they speak. They have an abundance of women knocking their door down, so why the fuck would they care about one girl in particular unless she had something that truly knocks all the other girls out of the park? Still doesn't matter. He has the options to make that choice.

Oneitis tends to happen more easily with younger men and/or those with less relationship experience.

I realized too, my first crushes (as a teenager) were mostly very average girls, yet I would think of them as 'amazing'. It was only with more experience that I became more rational and realized that women were basically human and everyone has flaws somewhere.