Hi,
So the post title pretty much sums up my question, so here is a background to the situation. Im a younger male - 24, dating an older female - 28. Generally, guys should date younger girls. The problem is I actually like my current relationship, so the question ends up being - should I end it because it's the correct thing to do - even though I actually like it? Will it be better for both of us - me finding a younger girl and having at least as good of a relationship with her, and her finding an older man? Does it even matter - given that I already like my current relationship?
Earlier I had an LTR with a girl I met when I was in high school. At some point she became bitchy and (I did not know it back then) but our relationship went bad because she wasn't respecting me enough anymore. We ended the relationship 3 years in. She was the first girl I can actually call girlfriend, I don't think earlier ones really count for me. Around that point in time ~2 years ago I started reading TRP. And as I started doing that, things started changing, and girls in my friend circle started paying more attention to me. So I started going out with one - not the best looking, but I was also not very red-pilled anyway. Then I started going out to bars, and trying to hook up, and doing games - etc. It was a painfully slow process because I was very stressed about it, but it started getting better and better, and though I didn't sleep with any of them, I started getting their numbers and going out on dates. Simply doing this, made me more attractive to girls in my circle, and I started sleeping with them. Mostly they were average looking, and one was I'd say 8/10, cause she was actually quite pretty. I didn't want to settle down though, and I had to tell the pretty one that it won't work between us. Actually, I ended all my relationships with all of them. Just doing that brought me to a point where I had to turn some girls off because I just didn't like them much.
At this point, I can say for certain that the abundance mentality changes everything, and as soon as you start going out with more girls, more girls want to go out with you. And then I stopped because to be fair dating is extremely boring. Maybe if I did become a master of it - and had sex every time I went to a bar, it would have been much more interesting, but even then I probably would get to a point where I like a girl, and again stop dating, because it's simply not interesting. I stopped doing it for quite a while - as I wanted to get my business going, which I still haven't. But during that period I accidentally met my current LTR, which is a very nice girl to be fair. She is beautiful for her age - and I know that a 20yo version of her would be prettier, but with her looks at 28, she is still substantially above average for the 20-ones I've seen when going out. Maybe she was a 9/10 then, and she is a 7/10 now. She met me and stuck to me like glue. I basically didn't have to do almost anything, and since I happen to know through friends some of her previous boyfriends, I happen to be much better than all of them. And I can feel that not just from her saying it (she happens to have broken all but maybe 1 relationship herself), but also from her treating me like I'm fucking precious. Sexually she has already shown that she will do anything I want from her. She had one great sex experience that she always remembered from like 6-7 years ago. But then I fucked her on top of a mountain once, and she was like - fuck that's gone now.
She has what you may say is a slutty life, but now that I know the standards - not really. She has had a lot of boyfriends before me, and 2-3 quick hookups. And it's not like she was ready to give everything to the alfa when she was young, but made me wait - cus she was ready to sleep with me hours after meeting me. The problem is that initially, I wanted to just fuck her a few times and leave it at that, but she pushed for having a deeper relationship, and maybe the biggest problem of them all is that I like it.
She wants to have kids, but I made sure to raise that question early on, so I don't end up fucking her life up If I decide not to want to, or things don't work out between us. And even though she wants - she will end up letting me decide on whether I want or not. She made it pretty clear that that thought did pass her mind, and she understood the risks.
Finally, she happens to be a master of physics, so she is smart as well. She is more confident than most other girls I've seen as well, even ones her age. That being said - if I want a mother for my kids, she is the one. I am 100% certain that those kids will have a good future.
Then the next question is - now that I have done some red-pilling, some going out to bars, some fucking, I know that if I practice it enough I can get to the point where I can hook up with at least one new girl every month. I'm not at that point, but I kind of know where my mistakes were last time. So I don't know if 10 years down the line, I may end up wanting to do just that - and end up fucking her life up - but this time with kids.
And the biggest question is - does a man need to go for younger girls, if he is in an LTR relationship with an older girl that he can't complain from? Is there something I am not understanding - that makes me a stupid naive blue pill betta, who is going to be miserable to the end of his life? Certainly, the people who have felt the need to give me advice (not a signle one of them is red-pilled) - all believe that it will be bad for both of us in the long term - simply on the grounds of her being older.
Am I stupid?
Cal-Dirty 1y ago
Don't LTR ANY chicks. The ONLY good thing about our society is how easy the women are. And you'll never get treated by one as good as you'll get treated by many running rotations. Historically, the reason why you don't LTR older chicks, is because chicks age like milk; and quit wanting sex once they hit their late 30s. As dudes, we are horny from birth until death. That's why the marriage laws are built around dudes who got married at 20 - who then left their wives at 40; to find another 20 year old that wanted sex, again.
mattyanon Admin 1y ago
First two thirds of your post is 100% standard..... you're with a girl, you like her, she's had boyfriends, she says you're the best..... totally normal and standard.
She's 28. Prime time for her epiphany phase. Value goes down, demands go UP UP UP.
right
so you have a decision to make..... open relationship and spin plates, or family.
most women with kids divorce the father though, so she'd be no worse off than most women choose to be.
up to you
yeah, there is one thing: you're not factoring in that if you commit to her that she will still most likely end things with you at some point in the future. the more you commit to her, the more you invest in her: the more likely this is to happen.
The problem is that things end badly 95% of the time, and you are talking about making a significant long term sacrifice for something that will in all likelihood end.
jimpix 1y ago
Thanks for the answer. Yeah, there is the possibility she ends things with me in the future. The problem is - I think I'll find out if things will be good or not in time, however, if I then leave her - I will fuck her life up much worse since I'll have taken the rest of her good years. And it pains me to think that this can happen.
mattyanon Admin 1y ago
This is a consideration that noone will ever extend to you, and which she hasn't earned nor deserved.
whytehorse2021 1y ago
Actually women live longer so it's not bad if you look ahead 60 years. If you want kids in the next couple years it's not bad. My wife was a late bloomer and married me at age 28. We had 2 kids when she was 32 and 39.
I think the most common problem with older women is the ones who have kids, have been divorced, have emotional baggage, etc. So we have a general rule about them but there are exceptions.
jimpix 1y ago
Thanks for the answer and perspective.
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nicknack 1y ago
Even the super long term LTR is bad. She’s been with a dude for almost a decade, the best and most valuable decade of her life. You don’t spend a decade with someone during your formative years (18-28) and not carry that person with you forever. She’s basically the male version of him, I have girls start talking just like me and taking on all my interests after only 1 year..
Also, why didn’t he marry her? He obviously knows significantly more about her than you do, and he declined. So now after he had her during her only beautiful years on this earth, you get the leftover hag with the same personality he declined.
Only if the dude died would it make sense.
jimpix 1y ago
I can bring some context here, and that context is what confuses me. She says that actually she broke up with every single one of her boyfriends, except maybe 1 when she was 18 or sth. Obviously, the obvious answer is - this is a lie and AWALT. This could be true, but I happen to know her latest previous boyfriends, and she did end things with them, and they did want to be with her after. The last one was a 3-year relationship, and the guy spent months trying to forget the breakup, and even to this day, he hasn't. A previous one was a few months long relationship, and as far as she says, he wanted to continue to be with her, but she did not. From what I can see - he tries to be quite friendly with her. Tbf all of her previous boyfriends that I have seen are her friends. And I have seen some, beyond the ones I happen to know because they tend to linger around. Is she the male version of her past boyfriend? - Probably, and it's probably true that she carries all her past boyfriends in one way or another.
nicknack 1y ago
There’s an old G saying, how you get her is how you lose her. You got her because she dumped someone else, and you’ll lose her the same way. If she has dumped everyone else, then she’ll have no problem dumping you. I’d not get emotionally invested if I were you.
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jimpix 1y ago
Yes, she does indeed go to the gym. It comes from her mother though, who was an athlete and is nowadays teaching that to kids. I actually cannot say for certain that I know a single previous boyfriend of hers that is into lifting and going to the gym (from the ones I know ofc). For the rest, her friends are mostly males, though she has female friends as well. And the reason she says - is that there is nothing interesting to talk about with women. And to be fair, I can see how that is true. For all the conversations with the women she rarely talks to - you kind of have to turn 90% of your brain off - to have some kind of an interesting experience - given that you don't want to fuck them. And as I mentioned in my other reply above, the previous boyfriends I've seen happen to linger around. And she was from a smaller town originally, before moving to this one ~7-8 years ago, so for the previous ones - I can't know.
This may sound like all the rest of the posts where a beta cuck defends his oneitis, and maybe it is. Unfortunately, I feel the need to give the context, in order to know that the answer I got was based on the full picture of the situation.
And one thing I don't understand is the AWALT part. I thought I do and it makes 100% sense for the slutty part of a girl's life. However, if we want to extrapolate and apply it to her whole life, that means that all women would behave in the same way as her in any situation, which then means that every girl's character is a direct representation of how the male behaves in the relationship. If he is alfa, then she is good, if he is beta then she is bad, and if she is crazy, then all are crazy, and if she is generally a good person, then all are generally good people. If she broke up with her exes, then all of them would have broken up with them. If she does not fuck things up for me, all would not - and if a single one would not fuck things up, then all would not.
nicknack 1y ago
I dated an 19 year old girl years ago and within like 4 months she literally became me. She talked exactly like me, picked up all my hobbies, took on my political beliefs. Women pair bond like that when they are young. Girls that are like 23 eventually get around to it but it takes a year. By 30 they can possibly do this, but it make take two decades together? I wouldn’t know obviously, but I do know the over 26 year old girls I date don’t do this soon enough. Probably because they are already their ex boyfriend.
jimpix 1y ago
Is this a bad thing though? And does this show anything? I mean - at 19, I had my goals in life and all, but I was 19 and gullible. My thinking today is not the same as my thinking then. I can see how this is not exactly the same for a girl, and your opinions are more dependent on the men you've been with - but is it a bad thing?
nicknack 1y ago
It’s a great thing. A girl who takes on your hobbies, world views, and general way of thinking will be way less argumentative down the road, because what is there even to argue about, you two basically hold the same opinions. It’s not like some 26 year old hag who will bitch about how you don’t care about roe v wade, or your taste in style / cars.
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jimpix 1y ago
Yeah - maybe it was more like a day later, but anyway. I said it because generally, the idea is that when the woman gets to 28 years, she begins setting up all kinds of requirements for the next beta - which she did not have for her random hookups before, and for me - they were basically non-existent. I put about 5% effort into hooking up. Since I know some of her past boyfriends though, it makes it possible that they were in fact just the 2-3 hookups. My idea is that in this case I somewhat know her history.
Intrepid_Place53900 1y ago
Some girls change their strategy of hooking up , to making a (nice guy) wait. some don't, they hook up with guys they are attracted to and keep hoping one sticks.
Does she see you as a provider? You have a good career, potential and can earn her level or better in future?
Do you pay for things, dinner, etc? does she? She should be paying at least 50/50 with you. If she's not doing that, it's a big no, in my view. Provider.
She's approaching the wall, smart girl, she's looking to settle down now that she's had her fun. That's her. What do you want?
You want kids?
What are your goals, 5 or 10+ years out? Does she help you with those goals?
In term of the sex, blah blah, she's lying, you know it, we all know it. Every girl, everywhere, the guy she's with is always the best, that's hypergammy 101. the boyfriends/ltr is one thing, the casual sex instances are very different. You know just (a bit) of her history, you'll never know the whole.
So, we are back to, you are 24. You are young.
What do you want?
If you want a ltr, with her. Does she want marriage ? Does she want kids?
You got to know, what you want, before you think about her. Her wants, are only to recognize if she aligns with what your goals/wants are. If her wants don't match, it's simple. If she won't help you meet your goals, it's simple.
Overkill_Engine 2 1y ago
Before you try to beat the odds, ensure that you can survive the odds beating you.