Recently, I saw a post on r/TwoXChromosomes about how women should "stop answering the bodycount question". So, I thought it would be fun to make a post to explain to them why men have this preference. Naturally, the moderators did not approve of my post, so I'm posting it here:
""" I noticed some posts recently about women asking "why do men ask about my bodycount? I don't care that he's been with other women in the past, so why does he care about my past?"
So, since this place seems like the perfect place for sharing points of view equally, I wanted to make this post to have it serve as a discussion for why this happens. In the remainder of this post, I will give my point of view as to why I think men have this preference.
(To preface, I have nothing against women who choose to engage in hookup culture/casual sex. Your life, your choices. I am making this post only to discuss why men have the preference for partners with lower body counts.)
At the core of it, when a woman has a child, that child is hers 100% of the time (excluding cases like surrogate mothers, etc). But it is not 100% certain that the man the woman is in a relationship with is the father of the child. Therefore, some men, a long time ago thought "oh, this woman had many past partners? How can I trust her that she won't run off into the night and have another man's child and fool me into thinking it's mine? I don't want to use my resources raising some other guy's kid."
A critique I expect to this would be: "well what's the problem? why can't he be ok with raising that child?" To which I say: imagine your neighbor came to you and said "hey I had this kid, and I need money to raise it so can you chip in and pay up for 18 years?" what would you say? you'd say "why would I give my hard earned money to pay for a kid that's not mine?" and rightly so, nobody would expect you to. The same happens with guys.
The reason guys are so stringent about the past of their female partners is because they care about ensuring their paternity. Which is something I think women find hard to understand because throughout history, women have never had this problem of wondering "is this child really mine?"
Moreover, in today's world, if a guy gets married, he's basically saying "I'm so confident that my relationship with this woman will last that I'm willing to risk losing half or more of the assets that I've worked my whole life for." (because most of the time, the man earns more, so when it comes time to split the marital assets, the man is usually the one who loses half)
What does this have to do with a woman's sexual history? here's a link to an article citing a study about women's number of past sexual partners vs percentage chance of divorce
In other words, men are thinking "who do I choose? the woman with which there's a 5% chance of divorce? or the woman with which I have a 40-50% chance of divorce?"
TL;DR
In summary, I think the two main reasons men have the preference for partners with lower body counts is because:
- He wants to ensure his paternity.
- He wants to have the lowest possible risk of divorce.
What do you think? I hope my post clears up some confusion, and I welcome anyone who would like to critique my view.
"""
Also, it's hilarious to me how they whine about men's preferences, but when someone explains why men have that preference, they don't wanna hear it. Why would you even ask then?????? Seems to me they like to have an echo chamber full of feel good nonsense and never take advice that "sounds bad" but could improve their lives.
Durek_The_Bald 2y ago
Lol @ trying to explain shit to women, especially women you aren't even fucking.
Look, they already know everything you wrote there. They know it very well. But it makes them feel bad, so they'll hamster it away in order to feel good.
It's all about the feelz, so don't waste your time and effort. Go about your life, focus on the things that improve your life, bring along for the ride those who qualify, and discard those who don't.
Show, don't tell.
Intrepid_Place53900 1 2y ago
never try to explain why men care about body count to women.
In reality, many women, actually care about men's body count. You don't hear this much.
I used to go on purplepill until I got kicked out, (if you post things too close to home for them, they'll ban you). I got a male beta moderator really upset, so he banned me, even though I didn't break their rules.
You will see threads on purplepill about do women care about body count. Well, guess what, they do. Many women on their state that a guy who has casual sex, (no way, not for me). A guy who has a high n count, that is gross, I wouldn't trust him to be monogamous, etc.
But, the thing is, women, are the ones who generally enjoy the ability to obtain a high n count, even very plain Jane, smv 5 girls can rack up very high counts. Your typical smv 5 guy, not a chance.
so, this is something that is very favored toward women, so therefore, it's not allowed to be something MEN care about, it hurts women.
My view has always been, the most damaging thing about high N count women, is that they are almost always going for guys above their SMV. so, they've been getting used as a play toy for guys with higher SMV than the guy who's gonna end up with the girl in a LTR.
How's that gonna work out?
this is something men don't generally have to deal with. men aren't normally getting women above their SMV, this is normal for women.
On the purplepill, I got banned for commenting no this type of issue. Where an OP was asking, if my girl did lots of casual , ONS, and I'm an avg guy, don't lift or anything, is she going to lust for me? I was like, if your girl was into ONS, what kind of guys was she with, was she with athletes in college, the guy was like, ya, she admitted to being with jocks. I told him, she's not gonna lust for you like she was for those guys. Think about it, if you were with a rocking hot 9 or 10 girl, and your girl is a 6, is she gonna make you hard like that girl? She may have more skills and be more enthused, but lets say there was the same amount of that with the 9 girl, you are gonna miss the 9 girl dude, you know it.
that's what makes men think about girls with a background of casual/ONS and think it's a bad risk.
Seagram7 2y ago
I wrote on r/relationshit a long while ago and before they deleted it, it was downvoted into the negative hundreds. Basically I tried to explain it to women from a perspective they would understand: from an emotional standpoint. From the waking conscious mind you try to reason why her n-count doesn't matter, yet ALL Men to include the most woke, cool dude will feel an immediate visceral emotional response from discomfort to outright disgust. A man cant help how they feel when a man's subconscious is telling them something is wrong. Just as a woman can say that she doesnt feel a spark in a guy is her emotions telling her something is wrong, a man's subconscious is telling him something is wrong by the negative emotions he feels. The guys that are seeming cool with your body count is actively pushing whatever emotions and doubt out of their mind and ignoring those feelings. I cant empathize enough the sinking in your gut feeling a man has when he find out how many.
I really believe that women do know this but women want it all. The mind blowing sex with multiple men and that one special man in marriage then act shocked and say what her beta provider feels is wrong when he finds out.
Lionsmane8 2y ago
Too scientific bro, bitches don't like science. Bitches like business/money/stuff. Next time tell them, men are buyers and women are products, buyers prefer new products and used goods sell at a discount. Then drop your mic and hear them screech.
Positive-Lifeguard80 2y ago
That's why I don't ask it. I ask if she uses birth control. That answers the body count question.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2y ago
Can you elaborate on this? I think I can read into it but whether they say yes or no to using birth control could cut both ways. I know absolute whores that don't use any. I also know girls who fuck a lot that do because they have sex enough that they like to always be on BC when single
Can you elaborate your stance? I'm genuinely intrigued at this approach
Positive-Lifeguard80 2y ago
In my girl demographic (slim, white, middle-class) the primary motivator for taking birth control is to be able to ride dick anytime anywhere, employing the female sexual strategy of serial monogamy. Doesn't mean they do it (depends on SMV), but that mindset and having options correlates pretty well with the n-count. So I don't need to ask about the n-count itself.
That doesn't apply to ghetto women who are too stupid or too poor to use birth control at all, but I don't consort with those at all, for obvious reasons. So I don't need to filter for those.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2y ago
I figured it had part to do with demographics.
Do you find certain types of birth control correlate more with being an absolute hoe than others? I.e. pill vs IUD etc?
Positive-Lifeguard80 2y ago
My preselected demographic (which isn't using OLD) has a rather average n-count, which doesn't vary much. It pretty feels like single digits, but there is no way to know. Everyone just uses the pill, because they get them prescribed in their early teens and then they stay with it until menopause. I never met someone who did use something else, maybe being sponge-worthy is an purely American thing.
Now the outliers without birth control in the same demographic all happened to have a fraction of guys in their life, were very inexperienced in bed or have been single forever. For most them that was for reasons.
For spinning plates a really low n-count isn't really useful, that's just something trad-cons are after.
Intrepid_Place53900 1 2y ago
you never know their body count. birthcontrol is helpful for menstrual issues, lot of women on it for that also. just happens to also be useful if she wants to ONS a guy, she doesn't have to worry about getting knocked.
Yes, spinning plates, a ho is much more fun than a Low n count girl.
whytehorse2021 2y ago
Those kinds of subs are just echo chambers. If you look at the users they are all members of /r/datingoverthirty, /r/datingoverfourty, /r/singlemoms, /r/bodypositivity.
Positive-Lifeguard80 2y ago
At least they can create top level posts in their echo chambers.