This is going to be longer because I want to track this for myself more than anything, but also want advice on mindset and fundamentals, not so much quick easy lines or anything.

Rian Stone’s channel has been a massive help.

Background on me without doxing: Mid 20s Skinny, but athletic. Not ripped, not fat, lightly toned. Played sports my whole life. I have been lifting, and eating, but smaller in size, not self conscious about it at all and always roll with the fact I’m a sexy looking twig. Always been aware of red pill, had my anger phase in college, but I never got “zeroed out” through divorce rape, i did have a traumatic experience in college that led me to red pill. I’m currently in the phase of learning and looking for the fundamentals, don’t care for tips tricks or canned lines.

This past weekend I hooked up again with someone I’ve been seeing on and off for >6 months. The relationship has been a constant power struggle, she is older, going through a divorce, and I’m her youthful, playful sex toy. More or less. We attempted to be serious (yes, I’m aware of the foolish endeavor, I’m writing this for total clarity for feedback. The point of the post is not this) and it turned out about as you’d expect.. I went through the 5 steps of betaization almost to the T.. and looked back on it a few weeks ago and began lifting. My demeanor changed internally, and her respect for me seemed a distant dream. I attempted to apply dread, and ended up demoting her to strictly a friends with benefits deal. She initially bawked at such a proposition and we didn’t speak for a while.

I messaged her a couple of days ago and she “reluctantly” agreed to meet up and we ended up hooking up in a public area in a car shortly after. Fully transparent on the new direction of the relationship, I would be seeing other people and it is a FwB deal. She made it clear I’m the only person she’s seen, whether or not it’s true I don’t care too much, and I didn’t mention any restrictions she has in seeing other people.

Thing is, in the midst of hooking up security interrupted us and told us to beat it. This is one of her most irrational fears, beyond the simple fear but full blown panic attack. Getting caught by security in public as she is not entirely divorced just yet and doesn’t want to be outed. Her reputation is probably where it stems from.. seeing as she probably doesn’t want to lose control of her home situation or perception. Legs were shaking kind of fear. I extended my hand out to take her out of the car, told her to trust me, and wanted to give her a hug to ground her. She looked at me and asked me to drive her car we were in to the exit so she could leave. I told her I would rather drive the car to mine so I can make sure i got in mine and didn’t leave anything behind, and I did just that.

I collected my things, told her to get out and we hugged for a short bit but she was visibly shaking and checking for cameras or other security. She said she just needed to get as far away as possible so I took my shirt, said a very short goodbye with a smile, turned and walked away.

She messaged me a few minutes later after driving that she was sorry, she know I didn’t want her to leave like that but she needed to get as far away from the area as possible. In my heart I knew that there wasn’t anything I could’ve done to change that, and I told her that it was alright, she has to look out for herself and I get it. I asked if I could call her, we did, and I attempted to talk her off whatever ledge she was on driving home and simultaneously joking that we have to make up next time for the lost experience. It was received with a playful joke back, something along the lines of buying more condoms, but no concrete plans were set to meet again. I told her I won’t be around for a couple weeks as I’m traveling, and I haven’t messaged her since then.

I think my strengths in this was holding frame through seeing each other after the way things ended last, I smiled, immediately gave her a hug, to which she was extremely unreceptive to. I smirked and looked at her and said “like you mean it” and she flashed a brief smile, tried to hide it, and then embraced me.

The “sex” was extremely dominant. She consistently gave the token “no” and even smiled and covered her mouth and laughed at times when I forced her to do certain things. To which she would cave and submit.

She gave me shit tests about not thinking I could hold just being FwB and that it would snowball into something serious again, and I deflected with smirks and enough cockiness or straight up not caring that it was enough she fucked after. The tone of the conversation wasn’t as much as me enforcing it as I wouldve liked, and ended up being more of an “agreement/discussion” than I intended. And I think that may serve to harm the frame. I know I talked too much.

My weaknesses were obviously that we didn’t get to completely fuck, and to be honest I don’t know how I should have handled her panicking and leaving. Was it a comfort test failure to call her after she left? I don’t think it was, but again I wouldn’t be needing to swap notes here if I was always right. I am harping on this, did I ruin my frame by pandering to her panic? My tone was extremely calm and congruent throughout, and grounding. She was just very far off the ledge.

I don’t know how I should’ve handled it. My strength in it was that I decided to be comforting and stuck through with it and managed to keep it a semi sexual and flirty topic, even if it was half hearted. The tone going into meeting up was that she wasn’t meeting my expectations previously to earn her full time relationship status.. and that fact makes me wonder if I should’ve let her panic and resolve on her own without a 15 minute phone call after not fucking since I was demoting her to plate status.

Going forward, should I reach out when I get back from traveling first? Should I see if she reaches out? Should I make her qualify and wear something sexy for us ending last time, or should I ignore it like it never happened? I’m aware she will know if I’m seeing other people or not by my availability, so I’m not planning on reaching out until I’m back from traveling as there’s no point, but confused on if I handled things correctly, and how to handle it if it was a comfort test.