So, I been reading and trying to implement red pill in my life as much as I can. On the side, I am in love with every idea of stoicism. I find it extremely logical and helpful.
But, I am so quiet. I find talking with anyone so worthless that I don't even care about it.
For example, I was at this fast food place and somebody knocked over my water glass and I didn't even bother saying anything to them, just looked and them and they said sorry.
I can convince myself to talk with anyone but I don't know what it is, I can't form a casual friendship with anyone.
An example of this will be when I am at the gym, somedays I'll talk to a stranger and start chatting with them and on another day I just don't even wanna bother looking at them.
TL;DR: My communication skills are 0
This is lowkey frustrating cause if I can't make friendship with the guys around me, how will I be able to improve my game? I'll always look like a fucking nerd.
fumbor 3y ago
My social skills improved when I started talking to everyone. I think being loud and charismatic is better than being the strong, silent type, after being both. Just my experience though. I say try and learn to talk to everyone you see
xaxixh 3y ago
I agree with your statement. I used to watch a lot of anime and shit and I think that how I picked up on the idea that being silent and strong type is better. After reading red pill and other stuff, the reality seems opposite of what movies and animes are trying to potray.
MidgetSpinner 3y ago
There's a time and a place for being stoic. You don't have to be loud all the time though, just speak with conviction and mean what you're saying, put some energy into your words and expressions, but that doesn't mean be a loud moron who has to fill every gap with a bunch of words. Women like quiet confidence too.
Read The Book of Pook. There's a segment in there about Don Juan you might appreciate. Don Juan isn't loud. He's an amused master. Quietly confident. And when I say quietly confident, I'm not talking about being shy.
coolsocks00 1 3y ago
This. These two modes of being are not necessarily opposed to eachother. It's exactly where the term "amused mastery" comes in. It involves both modes. Strive for that, because it's fun, and women love it.
coolsocks00 1 3y ago
It taught you to contain not only your emotions but your masculinity too. When what you want is just to be in control of it.
xaxixh 3y ago
What do you mean by 'in control of it'?
coolsocks00 1 3y ago
To not suppress it but use it to express yourself whenever you feel like. And you wont really feel like being social is normal for you until you do it enough
coolsocks00 1 3y ago
I was like that, and still have some of those proclivities. You dont need to be a social butterfly to succeed. But you can always improve; reducing unattractive behaviours and implementing attractive ones. Might feel like facade to begin with, but the reality is you're building character.
[deleted] 3y ago
[--removed--]
MrSupreme 3y ago
It's a completely situational deal,you gotta think fast and calibrate wether it'll be silent guy or charismatic man of the people...either way you do it there might be some imposer syndrome afterwards, where you feel like you're not being yourself, fuck that and let your social interactions make an amused master of the social skills out of you...easier said than done but it's nothing that hasn't been done before
xaxixh 3y ago
Exactly. When I am small groups, I can go a bit all out with my words and can be pretty entertaining. But seeing a big group of people makes me feel so tired, especially, when there's a really social person in that group. Seeing that social person makes me feel so bad cause I am not doing what he's doing. It's kinda weird when you think about it.
MidgetSpinner 3y ago
It's because you're comparing yourself to a dude who you perceive as more social than you. Putting pressure on yourself because you feel you don't match up. Don't do that. Instead, flip your mindset around and learn from him. Take what seems to work, and what doesn't. Study that guy. Everything is a learning opportunity with the right mindset.