Was not in my head last night and decided to make the night about other people and just have a good time. I went alone and used Dale Carnegie's principles to pull this off and had fun because of it. NGAF atitude, charisma and frame was all dialed in last night. Incredibly thankful for my progress as I've been getting better. It takes daily hard work to overcome being a sperg. You can overcome it too! No sperging or energy vampire-ing from me that night. Now I know my field reports are so long that you age by at least 8 months once done reading and responding, so this post will be really condensed. (Fuck this still looks too long.)
Last night I was dressed up in a nice cop/detective outfit which I put together myself and I had real handcuffs! At this house party the host (30ish) and so the average age is a bit higher. This is easily a single mommy crowd. The best friend and cohost is mommy whose divorced mom (now grandma) is an HB7 (great face, thin body, blonde) and better looking than her daughter. She answered the door and that’s how I met her. Natural kino throughout our convo.
We were talking and she asked me about the cuffs and how she’s never been in them. Said they were real and if I were to cuff her we’d need to have a safe word. She was laughing and I teased her a little more. I also teased her for being lightweight and there was only 1 small convo mishap on my part. Jokingly she says she may pass out and I reply with then I’ll just carry you upstairs.. and from there I saw her eyes widen in shock (perception of rape was very bad) oops. I immediately recovered and cut that off to say I’ll just drop you on the couch downstairs. I'd definitely smash, but idk how these hot older moms look without clothes (especially healthy, thin ones approaching 60). Is it even worth trying to bag a woman this age (traditional, married her husband young and recently divorced) besides the obvious social repercussion of stepping on the daughter's toes and not getting future party invites. Sounds like shitting where I eat. Also, I'm not into women that are the age of my mom. This one just has a really nice face and I don't have to worry about pregnancy scares or STDS (most likely).
Two more single mommies show up (mid 40s and HB5.5s). They’re wearing nice top gun female air force outfits (cleavage exposed and all). One of em is already half drunk sigh and I tease her. The three of us have a good vibe and we take some pictures in the costume room. Little bit of flirting so I cuff myself to the half drunk one and I’m helping her as her “life coach.” She kept mentioning “explosive diarrhea” wtf and I’d be like “no don’t say that, that’s not how you make friends.” Man, drunk people really are stupid.
HB7 blonde mom walks up and joins in. She joined in on the shit testing. I’ve heard “I’m old enough to be your mom” or “I have a son your age” twice that evening. My responses were “but you’re not, and you look very young btw” and “Very cool, and you do look very young.” Regardless of the intention behind their statement, making em’ feel younger and killing any mother to son dynamic is the best move.
Played some pong against this competitive 33yo HB7. She does the usual thing of inquiring about my age and what I do etc. I try to keep the conversation focused on em. I passed a lot of shit tests during our game and bantered back no problem. This 6’3 dude watching us from the side would look mildly surprised when I’d rebuttal with a pressure flip such as “you’re just insecure because you can’t count (the number of solo cups).” I even made a trick shot for 2 cups which tied up the score for the final cup. After passing them all she was much nicer.
Found the HB7 grandmommy playing Jenga so teased her about knocking down the tower. “You were supposed to be on my side.” Me: I’m on nobody's side. She then interjected a conversation I was having with a completely random shit test. I was asked where I moved from and she interjected with “you said you’re from California” and while clarifying I moved from central Arkansas but am from Cali she touched my arm and said “it’s okay, you’ve been drinking.” That was probably the only shit test that made me go wtf. I just ignored the comment and wasn't gonna argue semantics lol.
Had a costume contest later, and it was the final round, the “fun round”. I walked up to two other girls dressed as police and was like “we need to stick together this round.” We handcuffed ourselves to each other, me in the middle and did our presentation for the round. I approached one of em later who is like an HB 5.5 and went for a social. Small fumble here. I had my phone out already and told her to follow my snap, and she said I should follow hers.
Me: Actually, follow my Instagram
Her: No you follow my Instagram.
Me: Sure, my phone’s out already.
Talked about her nice costume a bit then ended the convo with a small hug. Not sure if these were just verbal gymnastics or frame testing, probably both. Should've been like "it was nice meeting you, lets exchange socials." Definitely not interested as she hasn't accept my follow request. No loss though, I wanted to tag her in a post if I found the photos of us from the contest.
Was dancing with an HB6 (26yo and not my type, but still a 6). She had costume swords and I playfully grabbed one and we had a small sword fight. One of her swords caught on my open shirt a little
me: are you tryna tear open my shirt with your sword?
her: maybe
She was dancing one me later and asked for my snap. During that time there was this older guy trying hard to get her attention. Even told me to flex my arms, I just ignored him and told her what he said. I decided to cave since he kept looking at me and so I did it. He was like “yeah” then didn’t bother us again. After I got her snap she followed me into the photo room and I can tell she was tryna link up, so I commenced the convo. Asked if she lived alone and in the area, she did. Then asked if she had any good movies we could watch, she said no but she has streaming services. Said that sounded fun, "but not tonight."
me: okay cool, lets play pong.
ASD or shit test idc, I'm not gonna lose my virginity to a drunk girl. Played two games of pong and she was in my frame. She made some officer references so I played along a little. Definitely in my frame and interested in me, I do understand that she can change her mind any second. She already messaged me twice today on snap saying she had a good time and is happy for me to "schedule something soon."
Went inside by myself, and later went back out to the garage when she went inside. HB 7 (next to her bf) from pong earlier started shit testing me about pong. She called me out asking if I wanted to lose more. I told her to play me, she said she was walking away while ahead. Pressure flipped and called her out on suggesting why she wanted to play. Passed. That shut her down, and a smile came across her face followed by nice behavior. She overtly complemented my appearance "that look suits you well."
Back inside I found HB6 one last time to say goodbye. I was holding her from the side when she claimed she had a great time and insisted I message her on snap. I cockily said it was because of me and she agreed. Said goodbye and left for the night.
coolsocks00 1 1y ago
First of all your field reports are wayy too long. It's just a brain dump that's probably helpful for you to jot down, but limits the usefulness of the FR for both you and the reader. Next one needs to be half this length at most, and more concise.
Just nah dude. I dont place a lot of emphasis on how a man's first time should be, but you're not banging a 60 y.o. as your first... More seriously, teasing and flirting women is always good practice, whatever their age, so keep that up.
You kinda already did when you took her seriously. That's the only reason she tried to put you down. In the end this interaction doesn't warrant a second thought.
Yeah you just caved, and acted like a sweet dude. No reason for her to be interested.
No, you should have gamed her and escalated, instead of acting like a boy. Push-Pull, instead of just Pull like in this case. https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/an-in-depth-look-at-the-push-pull-dynamic-theory.55236
That brings us to your current sticking points, which are:
Time to step up. It's clear that you're not retarded. It's clear you dont look like a sack of shit. Only things keeping you back are the imposed limitations in your head.
imtranscending 1y ago
It will
Yeah ignoring it would've been best. I've walked into the game room on campus where the aspy students congregate and have had some of em say some really weird shit to me. I think ignoring it would've been the best pass.
That was nice guy behavior, I had absolutely no clue. Were the verbal gymnastics a shit test or showed that there was straight up 0 interest, so what response would've worked? "Nah I'm good, it was nice talking with you." I don't wanna be a dick because that's not who I am.
Right... too much pull.. The little conversational gymnastics was subtle it went over my head. Maybe she wasn't interested before, but after that she definitely isn't. For the HB6 that was interested that night, she definitely would've followed me upstairs to make out. But I decided against escalating that with her because she was drunk and its only kissing, I wasn't afraid to escalate.
It seems I'm ready for the next level, thank you again coolsocks. This requires effort, planning and lots of practice executing until it becomes natural. @Vermillion-Rx is saying I'm playing "chess in my head" and am forecasting moves. He's right that they require lots of work for me being a former sperg, but then he says I just need to go with the flow (hopefully I correctly quoted him). Am I putting too much effort / thought into this and not going with the flow or what?
Vermillion also said this. This is like a joke that everyone's in on but me. I don't know what these self-imposed limitations are, yet many people are saying I have them. They must exist. Can you please help me identify what these are. I seriously have no fucking clue what you guys mean when you say that and I've reread your comments.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
The absolute biggest sign is that you are putting high importance on meaningless shit and often straight missing green lights you are given to focus on unimportant stuff.
I can tell in some of the wording for fully unnecessary details in your posts that YOU think they are important. It's mental masturbation. Yes, I also fixate on little details some times but I try my damned hardest to not let any know I am because when I do they always comment on it and I end up feeling dumb as fuck
You are overthinking shit to the maximum and thinking every minute detail of what someone does or say is important. There are chicks I fuck that at various time points say or do little shit that if I were to analyze and fixate on in isolation would make me convinced that she's not interested.
Where if I was like failed this shit test, should have said that etc, I wouldn't have ultimately fucked them. Game is a series of doing shit right and fucking up micro interactions
You're in a forest and looking at every individual tree when it's the entire forest that is the big picture.
Secondly there is no fucking way you're not doing this level of overthinking in real time. You remember every convo point etc and I can't imagine you're not in the moment saying to yourself "that was a shit test, I passed it" or being like "okay this is banter right now" in your head in the moment
There is no way you are not doing that in the moment, even if you say you're not doing that. Bro I used to do that. I'm autistic literally. I used to remember every fucking conversation point I had with women but as soon as I started pulling and getting more reliable lays I just started realizing that this shit is a total time waste.
It doesn't matter what they say. You shouldn't be calculating all this stuff in your head. All these lays and number closes etc are a matter of a back and forth.
There was a chick last night that invited herself to both visit a city with me (two cities north, we both went to undergrad there and there is a beautiful reservoir there) and when I said two weeks is a bit far off she invited herself to learn guitar. So guess who's probably coming over to my place soon.
I was starting to calculate in my head how to pull this chick cause I didn't know what to say to her and I just kept playing pong with the conversation until she took the bait to make plans with me. I kept talking about the college town and how much I missed it cause she's going there today to see old roommates
I never once even asked her to hang out with me, she invited HERSELF to do both those activities.
PONG, not CHESS.
coolsocks00 1 1y ago
With that reply you would have exited set for no reason. Her testing you doesn't mean she's not interested, it just means she's not convinced. You convince her by answering her push with a push of your own. You covertly let her know you dont really care about her IG by stepping back, "Actually, let's get to know eachother first.. I dont follow IGs until the 3rd date." or anything along these lines, while being self-amused and aloof to her reactions.
Sounds fine
It's really not that complicated. You're doing fine.
Look, this is something we all have to different extents. We all perceive risks everywhere and act according to our comfort levels, never straying too far away from our baseline. When looking at kino as a sticking point for you; I comparatively know what kind of physical contact is an actual risky move at the different times of an interaction. Because you lack experience on this specifically, you dont, so you place limitations on yourself, because you rightly dont want to in inappropriate ways and face repercussions.
The important thing is that you continually probe at these limitations - with the guidelines of TRP to help you - in order to find out what's okay and actually beneficial to the seduction process.
Hope that makes it clearer.
qfqads 1y ago
even lamer is that you delude yourself to think a single mom pays attention to a 22 year old
also he spent a ton of time and did not get laid, then wrote a large FR and still did not get laid
[deleted]
coolsocks00 1 1y ago
Good to see you posting FRs. Seeing good progress. Might give some feedback when i have more time
imtranscending 1y ago
Thanks coolsocks, the encouragement means much. My post is long so I totally understand if you don't reply. If you do reply and are selective, maybe the part where the grandmommy drops that random shit test on me and the lines about me fumbling to get this HB5.5 to follow my IG. But yeah, I'm really happy to see this progress myself.
If you do answer, did anything stand out to you? Take your time.