Me: (name)?
Her: Yeah, aaand I can't remember your name?
Me: I'm gonna have to embarrass you now, but I'll give you a hint. It starts with an N
Her: Nathan?
Me: Nope, it's (name)
Then it's small talk about what she does and what I do (I'm in Community College and was studying copywriting. Gonna resume that, I need money). Find out she's also my age and says there aren't many people her age here. Proceed to tell her we're both the same age and she knows one more person now. We talk about what bars she likes. Convo starts to wrap up and she says "Have a good workout"
Me: One more thing, do you wanna grab a drink?
Her: Uhh. maybe
Me: I don't do maybes, only yes or no.
Her: Uhh, this is a lot of pressure.
Me: It is, so yes or no?
Her: Maybee?? (She's putting air pod back in her ear)
Me: I understand
Her: Have a good workout.
Reflecting now, she might've been leaving the door open for me due to uncertainty. I interpreted it as a soft no. If not, then I just shut myself out and closed that door. I really hate how terrible I am at all of this. I really want to say I hate myself for this, but how could I have known? It's already too late once I find out.
Yes, I spoke with this redhead HB 7 at the gym. It appears I'm overcoming my approach anxiety, but now need the confidence that comes from airtight game. I was trying to tease her at the start of the interaction "I'm gonna have to embarrass you now". I can see how that can be interpreted as just being an uncharismatic ass, maybe I'm just awful. I was smiling and happy when I said that line, I don't fucking know anymore.
Self observation: These approaches are still exciting for me, so I notice myself speeding up my speech. I'm talking more quickly (not too too fast) as my brain is being primed for any possible response instead of just enjoying the conversation. Must still have some nervousness present.
She's graduated from uni already, so she has likely been ran through. I'd really just like a turn or two with these girls. Fuck, did I mess up badly again? Please lay it on me, I need some help. Yes I've read the side bar, it should be obvious I'm not a natural Don Juan by this point. Thanks in advanced.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
You would know by how unrelaxed you seem going into it. You're going to make all kind of mistakes. If you go into an approach doubtful as fuck you know you're doomed.
You're new at this, you should chat women up for the sole purpose of chatting them up. Learn what works and what doesn't just by having a conversation. Start picking up on what perks women up etc. Then actually try for the numbers and dates.
You're doing this cold as a newbie.
That line would be gold under an appropriate circumstance in which she's the one making you do something that might possibly reflect on her after she pressures you, not the other way around.
I'm pretty sure they can smell that. Especially with your rushed game. If the convo isn't going well, asking for the date won't either. Can't think of a lukewarm, eh, so so, not too sure about it etc interaction I've ever had with a girl that became a lay. Just doesn't happen.
You'll know when it's good, don't bother if it's not. Girls are either no's or hell yeses. If she's obviously not into it she's a no. You didn't have to say "I only do yes or no" you KNEW it was a no instinctively.
You can tell when women are into you. If you haven't gotten that from a girl yet you will, but not by dishing out rushed game.
Also, gym game is notoriously hard. You would think woman would love getting opportunities at a place where most people are buff/jacked etc but that's not the case. They hate being approached at the gym.
Gym game is the god-mode of game venue-wise. You need to be in the stratosphere generally speaking. I've been approached a few times (by girls) at the gym and it was a blue moon as fuck occurrence. I don't bother any more, they'll come to you if they want to. Otherwise you need to be their best hypergamous option in the gym and 75% you won't be just because of all the Chads that have been lifting for 3 years that look like models.
Everyone has the same social status at the gym because they're all in workout clothes. You can't tell who's the white collar workers, the CEOs, the etcs, everyone's SMV at the gym is largely their appearance and so unless you're at the top and have solid game, or just happen to match the exact vibe a girl is looking for at the gym it's a nightmare from a game perspective.
You'd be better off getting a woman from the literal street than the gym man. Gym game is S tier of hard to get girls. That and they just want to get done with their workout. They're not there to meet people really.
The sidebar only primes you. It is your in-field experiences that teach you.
You can read and listen to every great thought ever put into the manosphere, but it's not until you live it that you really learn TRP. And game. Game is tangential to TRP. But still. Sidebar only helps you track and manage the information, it does not teach it to you. Only when you can personally apply the sidebar under pressure and in the moment have you really absorbed TRP
imtranscending 1y ago
I was actually pretty calm. I did start to talk a little more quickly, but I'm naturally a fast talker. I need to sloow down. I thought I could hit it off with her, but it seems I keep making mistakes as I learn this.
I do that a lot pretty much everywhere I go now. It's a lot less pressure and kind of fun, it warms me up for even more engagements.
I have potential!
Rushed how, does it have anything to do with preparedness? You're right about the date part following as a no if the rest of the convo has that tune.
Damn right I did.
It is, but it doesn't feel like that to me when I have a pump and am feeling the high from my workout.
So field experience is the only thing that will evolve me in this, got it. I know what I need to work on. Was there anything I did correct in this approach or my last field report regarding the milfs at the club?
marduhhhy 1y ago
man i have been needing to hear this for a while
Karenzza 1y ago
What about just outside going in/out. You know her she knows you in passing .
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
This is more of a general statement, I'm sure there are situations/scenarios in which this general statement differs.
A girl once asked me if she could use the pull-up bar that was attached to my deadlift station and I gave her shit for it playfully. She was receptive to chatting but of course she was married lol.
Another girl approached me because she thought I was someone she knew, but then koet chatting when I wasn't.
Outside of that no girl has really seemed to want to talk, so I don't really bother at the gym. It's not worth the squeeze and all thosw failures will add up to be becoming the gym creep if enough girls say no/people see you bomb out and interrupt workouts etc
Karenzza 1y ago
I purposely talked to one that was staring at me for looong period. I have crashed and burned that time like I probably never have, but in fairly discrete way.
Neve seen her again. But: in my gym it is easy to see non regulars as it is not massively busy, people can get once a.year ticket for friend giveaway, sometimes they do low price for 3 visits and then i'd say it is worth a shot. One I burned was obviously not local/regular and was up for some strange.
I see this promotion chicks coming.to.take leggins photos. Just Monday sexy 20yo took photos on machine I.was using next and. Lingering smell 10min after she left prompted me to spray everything wet including floor. there was also bunch of.flies but it could be Candyman. It bad.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
Lmao what the fuck. She sounds so fucking nasty
unplugged69 1y ago
Listen to Vermillion-RX, this guy knows.
The side bar is the strategy but you need to learn tactics and you can only do that in the field, practice makes perfect and I agree you should just learn to chat to women first without expecting a date or a number, remove the pressure from the interaction and you'll perform better. Talk to lots of women every day, that should be your goal.
Never have a goal to get numbers, dates or pussy, because you'll be disappointed by failure, just have a goal to talk to 5 attractive women each day or something like that and it will do WONDERS!
One final piece of advice, don't ever act like what you're doing is weird even if it is. The "I'm going to embarrass you" line is advanced and you're not ready to use it yet, keep it simple instead and don't overthink it. Act that what you're doing is natural and you've seen it all before, that's how chad behaves. That's why Chad doesn't care about the first kiss rejection because he knows she will cave, he's seen it all before.
Here I wouldn't have pressured her, I would have said "okay cool, give me your number I'll text you later this week, gotta start my workout now" and if she gives you a fake number or refuses then just say no problem but I really gotta run. You are a busy guy, you don't have time for a maybe girl but you don't state that, you act on it instead. There's a difference between over communication and cover communication, with women try covert communication and with men try overt communication.
imtranscending 1y ago
That is one of my goals! Getting pussy is really hard for me, that's kind of an external thing I cannot control, so it would be a bad goal.
This is a great nugget. How does one act more natural besides repetition and practice?
This also looks great, but I hate leaving the option open to them. Is that a good idea though? I'd rather be the guy who flips it and turns it down when they give me that maybe crap. A no was a no, I just wanted to reframe things in that moment.
unplugged69 1y ago
You fake it until you make it but ultimately there's nothing that can replace experience.
In time you'll learn how to put them at ease with your actions and demeanor because you have experience with each situation and you know what to expect.
You're right leaving the option open to them is not ideal, but here you're just asking for a number. If they don't want to give it you act like it's no big deal and you go on with your day. You need to embody Chad, you see when Chad gets turned down he walks away confidently with a smile on his face, like he's in on a secret nobody else knows and with her silly decision she's missing out
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
Appreciate the shout-out @unplugged69 I think I remember you from a good while ago
unplugged69 1y ago
Thanks man I remember you too, your advice is always very good and it's nice to see a fellow veteran giving back to the community. I think most have now left and the newer guys are left without guidance
mattyanon Admin 1y ago
Not a good response.
"maybe" is girlspeak for no. You're supposed to understand that.
Right.
Well, the sidebar isn't much use.
Ideally you ask girls out by inviting them to something you're doing that's fun and social and low key. When she says maybe, that's a sign of disinterest, eg:
You: So a bunch of us..... some cool guys and girls I know... are going to this live band on Saturday
Her: whatever
You: Look, I don't know if you like live music, but it might be fun if you came along and I can show you around
Her: Maybe
You: Yeah, totally understand if you can't make it, it's a really great jazz band and the cocktails in this place are to fucking die for.... no problem if you're busy.
(So you're taking a step back, showing casual distinterest yourself, selling it AND taking it away from her)
At this point you can say "hey, give me your number, and if you're free on the off chance you can come along".
So you acknowledge her disinterest, play along with it, back off, sell it, and leave the door open to her joining you. If you get her number, you basically say "pick you up at 7" or something.
Getting this right in real time is REALLY hard though, it takes a lot of practice. Keep going and you'll find some yes girls along the way, especially if you're ripped.
whytehorse2021 1y ago
Don't interview bitches. Use text for logistics. Set a date and go from there.