I am 19, I am aware of the red pill, I have tried approaching 2-3 times(rookie numbers, I know), and I read most of the posts here; but how do I become Alpha?

My current situation: I am just out of High School. Right now, I am working towards my dreams, it's not going too well but I am doing my best.

The issue is, I don't like talking to anyone. I don't trust anyone. Most of the time, I presume a person's character and behave with them on my preconception. I talk in a low tone, which makes me sound like a bitch. I have no friends. I have cut ties with all of them after my last breakup, which fucked me hard. She had BPD and messed with me so much.

I don't want to live like an insecure person, I want to be able to pick up any chicks I want. I don't want to live a mediocre life.