Hi everyone,
TL;DR relationship -- Rocky 1. 25 yr. relationship (+ 9 mo. chatting, her 19 me 22). Stuck it out for opportunity to travel for many months to the home country of her parents, it was dope. Eventually big fight ensues over distrust and we split. Needed more frame throughout the whole relationship, so it's time for that.
The point of writing that is to build an accountable picture of what I want to progress away from. Soon to be replaced with an image of what I'm to be going towards.
1) How to rebuild frame after losing temper? I unfortunately come from two temper-ridden parents, so I've got a small disadvantage to work over.
2) How to talk about my life when girls ask? Low-key I feel like I'm bragging, so I don't say much. I mean... life is pretty good. Completely remote job, learning to trade the market, gym regularly, meditate 1 - 2 hours a day, learning Spanish to go to Spain... So when I talk to women and they ask, I'm caught between "Don't over-talk." and "Casually express value." I get the feeling they think I'm bullshitting, but could be just self-conscious?
Basically, I get caught between "Talk more than her." and "Don't say too much." Maybe not thinking about it is the best solution?
3) Where to go to meet women other than bars / the like. Just walk up and talk to some woman sitting drinking coffee alone at a shop?
Walk up and be short & direct, or try to strike up conversation? Me: "Hey, what's your name?" Her: "Hi... Potential plate, what's up?" Me: "Wanted to come talk to you." then segue into which would be better; casual conversation, or "I'm on my way out, but wanted to grab your number real quick." or maybe a combination? The nuance is hard, but if I learn I'll get it quickly, I'm sure.
4) Anyone out there who likes to talk about more abstract concepts and "out-there" things (best way to live a life, meaning of life, etc.), how do you get into that conversation lightly, and without seeming pretentious, with random women?
Any thoughts?
whytehorse2021 3y ago
Ouch... wall of text. Gotta go put my dick in my wife's hole for the next 3 hrs. Maybe I can get back to it tomorrow.
mattyanon Admin 3y ago
Another spectacularly helpful post from whytehorse2021 about how he's about to fuck his wife again.
whytehorse2021 3y ago
It wasn't that great. She came in like 2 min. Anyway, it's now tomorrow and I have time so I'll give him a decent response.
greenhorn 3y ago
Yeah, I cut all the bullshit out and boiled it down to the questions. Thanks for being real.
All the bullshit was just me rationalizing the potential for more BP behavior toward a ho. If she comes back, bang her maybe, no committal, and I learned to vet much longer.
whytehorse2021 3y ago
It sounds like you need to learn game. Go get The Rational Male - Player's Handbook. Also check out Tom Torero's London Day Game. His videos got deleted off youtube but you'll figure it out. Here's the written version: https://niplav.github.io/doc/daygame_cost_benefit/beginners_guide_to_daygame_torero_2018.pdf
greenhorn 3y ago
Will do, I do need game you're exactly right. Thanks for getting back to me after the wife, lmfao.
mattyanon Admin 3y ago
1 - takes time and practice.
2 -
This isn't particularly impressive, so just make something up about your job and learn to chat in a way that girls enjoy. THE DETAILS DO NOT MATTER.
3 - where to meet
Yep, tricky. Depends on your area.
If you are physically attractive then yes..... but follow it up with lots of chit chat and investment from her, while you leep it playful.
Oh FUCK NO.
Strike up a conversation yes, but not by asking personal probing questions.
lame
urgh no
err
I'll come back to this.
> 4) Anyone out there who likes to talk about more abstract concepts and "out-there" things (best way to live a life, meaning of life, etc.), how do you get into that conversation lightly, and without seeming pretentious, with random women?
Honestly you are better going straight for out there comments. Genuine deep connection is the way forward. 9/10 will run away screaming, 1/10 will run into your bed. This is the ideal scenario.
Don't ask questions...... avoid asking her name, occupation or where she lives. Especially at first.
At first she is alone, scared, disinterested, knows nothing about you. Diving into "a conversation" won't work. She needs to be motivated to talk to you, and you do that by being fun, playful, and not committing to the conversation.
Some suggeestions:
"Hey, I like your brooch". Has to be something she has chosen, not something she is. Avoid all comments on her physically, you have to both pretend you don't want to fuck her senseless.
If she's totally into it (happens sometimes), say "Hi, I'm greenhorn", and slowly offer hand to shake. She'll probably give her name, it's fine if she doesn't.
DO NOT FOLLOW UP WITH BORING QUESTIONS.
You want to tease her about a few things, have fun with her, tell her that he choice of Latté makes her a psychopath, tell her how this place was much better when it was an abattoir, etc. etc.
ANYTHING EXCEPT INTERVIEW QUESTIONS.
Talk in statements. Have fun. If she joins in, tell her she has to come with you to XXX place. Then change the subject (don't worry, she'll remember and if she likes you she'll loop back to this herself). Keep it light, don't lean in.
At some point you switch from banter towards mutual interest and investment, but remember to spike it up emotionally to avoid bordedom.
Expect to fuck 3% of girls you meet.
greenhorn 3y ago
Laughing the entire time. Felt like an enlightening narrative lmfao. "FUCK NO" "lame" "urgh no" "err". Exactly what she would be saying in her way. Thanks a ton bro very eye opening to a funny reality.
Yeah it's not but these broads love freedom. I'm not hanging w high enough value women and it's distorting. So you're right. Thanks for the reality.
I figure here "attractive", means you'd be attractive enough to her that it's "obvious"?
I'm 6' 1", decently striking face but a small chin, love handles from childhood but look swole in clothes (good chest & leg genetics). Objectively a 6.5 IMHO (7.5-8 with work). Point is no real deterrent, but probably not hot enough to be totally no-fucks given.
Ahhahhaa made me lose it laughing a bit. It's funny, from my original post I removed my observations of my personality, which may have colored your response decently different.
You seem to find me a wee spergish is true, but I either got lucky or have some innate charisma I can master somehow. Definitely easier for my type to get laid in school systems, too. I've had 30+ women at this point so I'm thinking how TF do I relearn and apply whatever I was doing but in a different enviro, in my own style. 24 now BTW.
Oh thanks again this just spurred a realization of a top weakness; moving forward in explicitness to understand intentions, if that makes sense. Need to learn how to escalate subtly yet intently (and importantly, comfortably) so I'm gonna read that book recommended by whytehorse.
Clearly some anxiety & high analytical / observational tendnancies which melt into fun and genuine once I'm comfortable... (Could be immediately if drunk or feeling it, could be a while.) Sometimes I'm slick but I think my intentions are often clear. Maybe along with trying to not show intent, I subtly fuck with them but that sounds like an expert move lmao.
Anyhow,
Pretty real, IDK what you mean by "meet", but luckily it hasn't been too bad so far. One from one group, one from another, then a dry group. Work with 5 girls bang one, but only wanted two; next job get none.
Lastly for all the game advice, thanks it hit well. Need to read that book, take this advice, and just go for it with whoever TF I wanna. Funny thing is now that I'm out of college, 3% might be accurate given their life changes + enviro, but I think I'm a bit better off than my post makes me seem. Thanks for realistic expectations.
However that ideal 1/10 running into my bed. Absolutely. I should just start being confidently out there with women. I'm not ugly, so I'm sure if I can get confidence down I can really woo these abstract women instantly.
Alright, good shit, lots to think about in this. Have a good one bro.
mattyanon Admin 3y ago
Yes, hence I said "physically attractive".
If you're not, you can still be attractive in other ways, but you don't force her to make a decision about you until attraction is established.
Sounds about right.
Not spergish, but inexperienced. The way you lay out imaginary conversations shows lack of experience talking to women.
Yep.
They are good recommendations. Check out KrauserPUA too (friend of Tom Torero's).
You kinda want a bit of both. Intent is good, ambiguous is good, bring them out at different times.
3% is from cold approach day game. You'll get much higher if you wait for solid signals from girls you know socially.
Yeah, you're talking about polarising. Saying things and escalating in a way that attracts women you want and makes the rest hate you thus saving you time.
good luck!