What's the definition of "forgiving" a woman's past? | TheRedPill

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DIVRI

Posted 1y ago in Red Pill Theory - Permalink - Locked - 1.1K Views

I'm 32, dating a girl who is 27. She's told me about her past sexual relationships, a couple of which were one-night stands, and I all but ignored them. I responded slightly amused, and moved on. I didn't ask questions. I really don't care. I only care about what she does for me here and now, and this girl gives me what I want. I see this as following Roissy's rule 15: Maintain State Control. "You will not be manipulated by...jealousy ploys, pity plays, shit tests..." But as I read Rollo Tomassi's literature, I keep seeing an idea in hypergamy that a woman expects a Beta to "willingly ignore...her past Alpha Fucks indiscretions." And that Beta men "believe he’s to be more lauded for ‘forgiving’ a woman’s past, irrespective of whether he can expect praise for looking past her misgivings."

Am I doing the right thing by just blowing past these "story-time shit tests?" Am I forgoing an aspect of self-respect that I have a right to? I like my girls to be mid-20's, and these days there's no way in hell they'll still be virgins.

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DIVRI 1y ago

Thank you to everyone who responded. It's a painful process, being pulled out of my Beta thought process, so any help I can get is appreciated.

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ThrowawayAccount_2k 1y ago

Honestly a couple one night stands is pretty low for an attractive 27 year old. I'm 19 and it feels like most girls I meet already have double digit body counts. It's going to be extremely difficult to find an attractive woman in her mid 20's who has not slept with more than 5 guys.

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Intrepid_Place53900 1y ago

was in college 30 years ago. I was chad, trust me, there's not many girls out there at mid 20's who haven't, had some fun with hot guys.

I had all kinds of girls hitting on me, the shy totally girl next door girls, the jock girls, the punked hair/tatoo girls, all of them. I had many girls when I asked for their number, just tell me, you won't call me, I know. I just wanted to be with a guy like you.

Girls can get laid, any night of the week. They almost all try it out, ie, the all girls have a hoe phase.

You've got to believe this is reality and more so today, 30 years later than my college days.

In terms of talking to girls and finding out about their past, it's mind blowing. Also when they try to rationalize their behavior as something other than ( I was a slut). The hamster is incredible.

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Intrepid_Place53900 1y ago

Ha, you are funny. I"m old. But, I'm still good looking and ripped. This is what RP advises you to do, Stay fit, make sure you have options. Kid, I have lots of options if I want them.

Your next question, Marriage, NO. For me, even a confirmed virgin is not a wife option. Been there, done that.

Does it make it ok to GF a past hoe up? Sure, you have to look at the variables. Like I said, in my situation, older women, think women in 40's and older. You think none of them were ever a hoe? Never married? LTR's, shit man, life happens. It would be sad if she wasn't a hoe for her past husband, right?

Now, if you are in your 20's. Why put up with that? You can find many women who haven't been married. But, what about in LTR's? What about just ONS,etc?

the older you get, the older the girls you are with, the harder it's gonna be that they were never LTR"d or Alphad by some guys, or a lot of guys.

It comes back to , how does she treat you and show it? You don't provide for her.

Look, if you don't provide for her, why is she staying?

Why is she a total slut for you if she knows , no ring, he's not gonna pay for my stuff,etc? And she's still a total slut for you. Why?

She still treats you like a king, shows it, doesn't give you drama, respects you. Why?

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Intrepid_Place53900 1y ago

Simple, once you are in your early 20's, it is almost impossible to find a virgin.

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whytehorse2021 1y ago

Think of it in terms of how many times she failed to have a long-term relationship. She's 27 now and nearing the end of her hoe phase. Your SMV is about to massively increase and hers is about to massively decline. How many times has she been Alpha widowed? Is she going to go fuck her exes in the future to bring back the good old days? Maybe a raunchy one night stand if the right Chad comes along?

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DIVRI 1y ago

It sounds like she was Alpha widowed just once, about three years ago. Then fucked some effeminate artist to make up for it. Is the concern to watch out for here whether or not she's over this Alpha and may sneak back to him? Or whether there's something more deep seated that's changed the way she views relationships?

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No-Stress-Cat 1y ago

All it takes is just once...forever after the thirst can never be satisfied.

whytehorse2021 1y ago

Yeah she'll go back to the Alpha if you don't replace him in her mind. It may be ten years down the road and 2 kids later but the 7 year itch is real. That moment when she wonders if she can do better because she had Chad once before.

I don't know about the deep seated relationship views but there is such a thing as damaged goods. A woman who is broken. Unable to have an LTR. Usually as a result of riding the CC and listening to feminist lies until it's too late.

Seagram7 1y ago

I'm sure somebody here more knowledgeable with evolutionary psych can give you the scientific answer, but in simple layman terms it is natural to feel revolting and disgusted or at the very least feel unsettled at her revelation. Just as women can justify burning down a relationship because she doesn't FEEL a spark, there is no shame in you feeling disgust in a woman's past.

Your references to Roissy and Rollo is a great example of the male hamster. She did something in her past that you find morally offensive; it bothers you at the gut level. So all that stuff you wrote about you " I didn't ask questions. I really don't care. I only care about what she does for me here and now, and this girl gives me what I want." is your rational mind trying to convince yourself, not us, that what your gut tells you is wrong. Those horrible emotions you are feeling, is your subconscious screaming to your conscious mind that she is not a good partner for you.

" I didn't ask questions. I really don't care. I only care about what she does for me here and now, and this girl gives me what I want. " is great mental state for a girl you dont take seriously. If she is for the here and now and is a fun ride, then continue doing so. You are the gatekeeper of your commitment.

Intrepid_Place53900 1y ago

yup, this is a girl, who is definitely not marriage material. This is a girl who could be a LTR, but it's gonna be unlikely. I've done this. I'm old, when you get to my age, what pretty girl available hasn't been a hoe at some point in her life? Who hasn't been married or in many LTR's,etc. It's not possible.

So, how do you approach it?

In one way, just like this guy, what does she do for you , here and now. how does she treat you, how does she show it?

You don't spend money on her, you don't invest/buy things with her, this removes any (provider) questions out there. You don't provide for her and you let her know this won't happen in the future. You won't be marrying her, you won't be supporting her. Not because of her past, let her know you aren't into marriage.

So, then, let's see if she sticks around or was she really looking for a provider? That's the only way you can truly tell, be prepared to burn it down.

I do this with my girl, I don't spend money on her, she actually pays for some of my stuff. Her stuff is hers, my stuff is mine.

I actually think relationships should be more like this. In the end, you stay with each other because you want to, not because it's hard to leave or it's going to cost you or be tough to separate,etc. I can just walk away.

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Intrepid_Place53900 1y ago

I love finding out about a girls past at the start, and I act totally cool with it. Most girls are usually very open about it if they think you are cool with it, they actually enjoy talking about it.

You have to look at it from their view. "sex is just sex. It's so easy to get, it doesn't mean anything, it's just fun". Most girls will quote that off to me and I agree with them.

But, the past does matter. So, the majority of these girls actually remove themselves from LTR options, right at the start. Doesn't really matter much, vast majority of the girls I"ve dated are not LTR material anyway, for many reasons.

I do believe, especially as you get older, her being a past Hoe, doesn't immediately remove her from a LTR option. She'll just have to be that much better than the other girls. And as I've said previously, you don't invest in her (provide) for her, spend money on her and you let her know it from the start. That will clearly tell you , is she in this for me, or does she want a provider.

mattyanon Admin 1y ago

I only care about what she does for me here and now

This is good, so long as it doesn't change. Don't emotionally invest, keep your options open with other girls.

I keep seeing an idea in hypergamy that a woman expects a Beta to "willingly ignore...her past Alpha Fucks indiscretions."

yes

And that Beta men "believe he’s to be more lauded for ‘forgiving’ a woman’s past, irrespective of whether he can expect praise for looking past her misgivings."

Yes

Am I doing the right thing by just blowing past these "story-time shit tests?" Am I forgoing an aspect of self-respect that I have a right to? I like my girls to be mid-20's, and these days there's no way in hell they'll still be virgins.

Ok.

If you're seeing them as FWB, you're fine.

If you're committing to her, you are paying full price for used goods, and noone respects that.

Women demand forgiveness because...... well, what else can she do? That's how she gets her AF and then her BB.

Don't commit and you're not BB. Commit and you're fucked sooner or later.

Intrepid_Place53900 1y ago

so are you recommending to this young guy, that if he's looking for mid 20's girls and they aren't virgins, don't commit?

c'mon man, in the USA, if a girl is mid 20's and still a virgin, she's either got issues, very religious or an incel.

I'm all for not being cuck'd , not committing unless she's worth it,etc. But telling guys to go find a virgin in her mid 20's today, shit, they are gonna spend and waste all their time looking cuz there's very few. There's nothing you can do about it either, so give practical advice.

Let's look at each case and not be so general about it. bottom line is you never really know her past anyway, if you don't know her from your background, she can say whatever she wants and how do you know the difference?

If she knows her way around a cock. Ok, makes me think a bit.

She knows what she likes, not shy, yup ,she's been around the block..

She likes anal and BDSM, ok, she's a slut for sure.

can she fake all of that, for sure.

So, what do you do? What you do for any other girl, you treat them the same.

Starting off with a girl.

Play it cool, make it seem like you are totally cool with sex, etc , let her talk. If she doesn't talk, don't push it, over time it will come out. when you get to having sex, then you observe.

If things turn out great, and later down the road she opens up about her past and led you astray, demote. If she didn't offer any info and later you find out, then take it from there.

If she's experienced with things you haven't done to her, then did she lie or just not offer the info. Lying is much worse than not offering the info of course.

oh, but "gasp", you could be labeled a BB.

Hold on.

I didn't say commit to her. I didn't say spend any money on her,etc.

If things go really well, months go by and you are being treated like a king, she's great, sex on demand, anyway you want, she initiates. Relationships normally move forward.

Why not commit? Of course, she has to bring that up, not you.

My take again, don't be a BB. Don't spend money on her, don't buy things together. You want to know if you are a BB or not? Here you go.

Marriage, nope, I"m against it anyway.

LTR, sure. keep your finances separate. Be clear from the start on that. If she balks at it later, she changed the game , not you. Now you know she wants a provider.

I see modern relationships moving to this. Girls make money now too, so hey, let's keep our finances separate. Nothing wrong with that, if she complains, you know what she was after, but but but, we are in loooove. Nope, just like the last guy, right?

And all during the relationship, you keep fit, you lift, you earn more, you keep your options available.

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Intrepid_Place53900 1y ago

where did 50 guys come from?

again, you are too emotional on this, like a girl. Think like a guy, be logical.

Not every girl will cheat. Girls who have been with lots of guys, probably a higher % chance. but it's still just a (chance).

You didn't answer my questions though.

If she treats you like a king and shows it every way. And, you aren't financially involved in her.

What's the problem? She's not a virgin, correct.

You can keep looking for the virgin.

mattyanon Admin 1y ago

Commitment = beta

Intrepid_Place53900 1y ago

look at it this way.

I'll continue enjoying being treated like a king.

You can keep searching for your virgin.

Good luck with that.

mattyanon Admin 1y ago

You misunderstand.

I am saying that past the age of 18 none of them are virgins, and female commitment being as low as it is: none of them are worthy of it.

Intrepid_Place53900 1y ago

sorry, misunderstood you.

Agree with , none of them are virgins.

commitment, you should be very very limited giving it. Takes months and years to actually see a persons true personality.

Are (none) of them worthy of it? That would be a very sad situation for sure.

Are (most) not worthy, yes, especially these younger girls today.

But, most, is certainly not all. The hard part is finding the ones who may be worthy and taking the time and effort to see if they actually are.

In today's environment, I truly believe, you can't give her any financial benefits. That way, she's staying with you for (other) reasons.

mattyanon Admin 1y ago

Are (none) of them worthy of it? That would be a very sad situation for sure

Not as sad as committing to someone who later betrays that commitment.

I'm done with commitment being one sided...... I commit, girl commits, girl later uncommits her sexuality while increasing her commitment demands from me. FUCK. THAT. SHIT.