Should i ask her to meet again after she blew me off? | TheRedPill

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Johnnyp42069

Posted 1y ago in Blue Pill Example - Permalink - Locked - 1K Views

I was seeing someone for 3 months casually about twice a week, she was very enthusiastic at the beginning but slowly lost interest and started fading me out. This became clear when she cancelled plans for the first time and never gave an alternative. I just said no problem and stopped texting her. A little less than two weeks later she texted again with something random and we talked for a bit. Now it’s been about two weeks without hearing anything. I want to see her again but obviously based on her behavior she’s basically over it. Should i text her with plans as a final hail mary to see if she might still be down? I’m still a beginner, if this is embarrassing please cut me some slack. I know what i should really do is just forget and move on, but i want to hook up with her one more time.

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mattyanon Admin 1y ago

. I want to see her again but obviously based on her behavior she’s basically over it.

it's over, accept it

Should i text her with plans as a final hail mary to see if she might still be down? I’m still a beginner, if this is embarrassing please cut me some slack. I know what i should really do is just forget and move on, but i want to hook up with her one more time.

Lost cause.

"One last" is addictive behaviour. "one last drink", "one last cigarette".... it's always the same: it's a poor justification for feeding an addiction.

Put your efforts into finding new and better for yourself.

Johnnyp42069 1y ago

Will do. Appreciate the advice and support in this forum.

peacemakerzzz 1y ago

I know you were enjoying your time with her but consider that you may have been attached to giving your attention to her and vice versa. The only way to get over this situation is to consider dating other women simultaneously. If she starts blowing you off, withdraw your attention from her. If things are going downhill and you notice that things aren't the same as before, that just means that the dynamic is getting boring. She's probably getting too familiar with you. She wants variety. There is probably no commitment between you two. If that's the case, and you have acknowledged that you have made a mistake along the way, just learn from it and find another woman with who you could supply your attention in return for having a good time.

Johnnyp42069 1y ago

I made a lot of mistakes. I was too invested and there was no commitment, she never saw me as that sort of prospect and that’s what got the wheels spinning with negative thoughts in my head ( not good enough etc.). Thanks for the advice.

HopelessRomantic 1y ago

The juice ain't worth the squeeze. If you're dying to hook up with her one more time - that means she's got you by the balls. You should never be dying to hook up with a woman, you're putting her on a pedestal; that's something you can't and shouldn't do bud. Forget her and move on - the best thing you can do in this situation is nothing. The only text message you should be getting from her is "hey do you want to come over?" and if she sends that - she wants to fuck you, and there's your in. After that - cut off all contact and emit radio silence; because she's nothing but trouble for ya. The biggest red flag is that she cancelled, doesn't sound like she apologized and never gave you an alternative. She's just using you at this point.

Johnnyp42069 1y ago

Thanks for the advice. I have no one to talk to about this stuff. Yeah it was crazy how quickly she went from hot to cold, but in reality she was probably never that interested from the beginning and waiting for something better to come along. What annoyed me is that she would tell me how happy i make her or how much she liked me, i shouldn’t have taken any of that seriously. I’m going to focus on improving myself and understanding my own behavior that caused her to lose interest in the first place

HopelessRomantic 1y ago

Stay up King.

Listen to me - if she tells you that you make her happy and she likes you, she would be trying right now - and she's not. Cut your losses and focus on yourself. I'm in the Gym 5-6 days a week, best shape I've ever been in my life; that's my therapy. Find a hobby, do something that actively makes you better as your doing it, where you can be proud of the fact that you completed something. Always back to this post or this forum and remind yourself that you're your own hype man - no one else can do it for you, it's your responsibility; not hers, no ones else's.

Johnnyp42069 1y ago

You’re absolutely right, it sucks because i felt like i wasn’t good enough. I’ll have to cut my losses focus on my hobbies and hit the gym. We had the same hobbies/interests and on top of that she was very attractive. That’s why it hit me harder than it should have. Thanks again for your advice

HopelessRomantic 1y ago

Anytime friend - remember, they're other fish in the sea. Your time will come.

Johnnyp42069 1y ago

I hope so!!

OtPayOkerSmay 1y ago

"she would tell me how happy i make her or how much she liked me" sounds like love-bombing, which indicates to me that she's extremely manipulative and narcissistic. This woman would likely shit in your bed down the road.

Johnnyp42069 1y ago

She wasn’t just manipulative she was dismissive and rude at times too under the guise of being “emotionally unavailable” because she had issues with her mom abandoning her growing up. Like this other side of her would come out sometimes and she’d quickly try to suppress it. I attract women like this all the time and always fall for them. And yeah you’re right it would have never ended well

Edit - not abandoning but she had a rough relationship with her mom

OtPayOkerSmay 1y ago

Good guys can have a tough time falling for the damsel. The best women aren't damaged like the girls that go out of their way to create drama to be saved from, as is the case with your typical damsel. They can be a ton of trouble, and are usually sluts; so de-program the whole idea of being prince charming for some damsel in distress quick. She'll be a ton of drama down the road for the next guy - am I right, or am I right?

The crazy mother is a symptom of a red flag now that you've explained with a bit of detail. She's probably got a beta-dad that had kids with a bad-bitch back in the day; then I'd assume he'd let his princess get away with anything. If she's just going to blame her mother and childhood for things to not take accountability, that would be a major sign of big problems down the road... How soon does the blame for everything go from the mother to you? She also runs risk of considering abandoning kids down the road, since she knows first-hand a bit about how it works. Simply yikes.

Johnnyp42069 1y ago

Very true. Yeah i never knew the whole situation with her mom beyond that. she would just drop hints here and there but never opened up about exactly what happened, and she did that with a lot of other personal things. I don’t know what she was expecting me to do, but i never pried. she was vey closed off. But yeah that’s all true and it would have been a disaster. I need to stop getting into these situations

OtPayOkerSmay 1y ago

Don't try anything with her,... just forget and move on. She reached out after a period of radio silence to see if you would still give her the time of day (validate her), and you should have just ignored her.

Johnnyp42069 1y ago

Definitely true. I knew that’s what it was too and still replied. Damn

Durek_The_Bald 1y ago

Iron Rule #7 of Rollo Tomassi:

"It is always time and effort better spent developing new, fresh, prospective women than it will ever be in attempting to reconstruct a failed relationship."