I can't seem to accept I failed with a girl. I have oneitis for a girl but i know it's not got to do with her, it's got to do with me, I keep beating myself act for acting beta / totally blaming myself, thinking how things could of been with her, had i acted differently. I find it really difficult to move on from this situation and stop caring. Any tips?
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No-Stress-Cat 3y ago
I went through this with my first wife. Here's my advice:
Sit in a corner and cry. Scream into a pillow. Throw a tantrum on the floor. Blame her for everything. It's all her fault. Let it all out. Then do it again. Cry, scream, tantrum, blame. Then do it again. Until there's nothing left to cry out. Then accept that it's over. There's no going back. She's already moved on. There's no room for "just be friends" or anything. Cut her off completely. There's no point in hoping for another chance. Then reflect back on what went wrong. What part you played and how she reacted. What part she played and how you reacted. Look back and see the red flags you outright ignored or let slide. Now, you can blame yourself for your part in the death of your relationship. Realize it goes both ways. You had your part to hold up, she had hers. You both failed. Learn from this.
Now you can start talking to other women. Talk only. NO RELATIONSHIPS. Take however long you were together with your ex and double it. That's how long it's going to take you to TRULY recover. Draw that line and DON'T CROSS IT. You have to take time. You have to heal. NO RELATIONSHIPS. You're going to be hurt. You're going to be angry. If you try to get into another relationship before you recover, that hurt and that anger is going to bleed over into your new relationship. It's not fair to you to keep living in the past, and it's not fair to her to use her as baggage dump. NO RELATIONSHIPS.
During your recovery time, re-familiarize yourself with Red Pill knowledge. When you finally get your head back on straight, then you can go through life not giving a shit. Because you will see women for what they are: just women that do what women do because of the nature of women, and you will adjust accordingly.
mattyanon Admin 3y ago
Shut up and go out and get better girls.
whytehorse2021 3y ago
Haha, made me laugh. He'll be asking the same thing for the next 6mos.
mercikel 3y ago
I hope you will never accept them, but learn from it and next time try not to be as beta. You will fall and it will hurt, but try to not sway from your goal. When the time comes and you trancended your past self, it will be a thing you can laugh about. Or you can just accept it and be the beta that you don't want to be. You choose if you stand still or march forward in the never ending battle, I can only show you the door, going through is your mission as a man.