Mother post TDLR Had my first kiss with this girl. Apparently was giving alpha off energy by ignoring some shit tests as she was down to fuck. Didn't end up losing my virginity, but she sucked me off and I got to experience a blowjob for the first time. And a bad one. https://www.forums.red/p/theredpill/297376/huge_milestone_achieved_got_my_first_kiss_and_bj_the_same_ni/7086500/

Current At first I was uncertain if we'd meet up again because she was dodgy with my texts but she pulled through last night. Didn't get to instantly initiate kino with a hug as she didn't get out of her SUV. We drove around, and as usual she's asking me where to go etc. So I'm leading and find us a quiet spot to park on an empty street where we had a view of the city. Talk for a few minutes, can't really fucking escalate so I ask her let's go to the back seats. I need to be more commanding. I couldn't initiate the evening with heavy kino the way I'd hoped, but I need to hold frame. Once back there, we talk for a few minutes and just look Spotify. I of course position myself in the middle seat so I'm next to her and instantly throw my arm around her. Tapping her shoulder and arms to the beat of the music. Conversation can be nice, but there's much more I wanna do so I escalate. I didn't notice the same level of sexual tension last time, like she wasn't as squirmy. So I try to kiss cause I'm not a pussy and I'm met with dead lips. She looks at me with a "oh" like expression. She then tells me how she feels like she was "rushing this" and doesn't wanna get to "third base". She wants to take things slow. Low key I was a little shocked to hear this, I think I just went like "uh huh, okay". I was like "let's just make out. A couple more things were said then ". She basically asked me if I wanted to still make out. Of course I agreed.

Why would she pump the breaks on all this and refuse to fool around? Did she sense beta then withdraw or is this ASD / a shit test? I mean she's going to Coachella weekend 2 with a fucking contraceptive implant in her arm. She's most like gonna be fucking dudes there. Where did I fumble and is this recoverable?

We were just making out while listening to music. She wasn't feeling of much of my body, unlike the other night. She straddled me at one point and was trying to give me a hickey. During the straddle, she moved her hands to my lower back and gently tugged my shirt up a little. She did that twice, I thought about taking my shirt off but I really wasn't sure. She'd let me feel around her bra, but not under it. She'd put her hand on her chest and move mine away while letting out a small giggle. I worked up to stopping just short of it. Her legs were crossed and positioned over mine as she was leaning back against the seat. I was able to rest my hand high up in between her thighs. She didn't seems to mind me exploring there, but I didn't wanna push my luck and try unbuttoning her pants. I wasn't trying to commit sexual assault, nor was I worried that I would. I was just trying to accurately read her and it seems she wouldn't let me finger her or get to third base. That was pretty much what happened until I started to cough again. I've been battling this cold and cough for over a week now and I was coughing the last 10 minutes kissing plus the car ride back. By that point I was feeling tired and not myself if that makes sense. I said something weird like she should take some vitamin C because of my cough. Of course she was like "what?" My mind and thoughts were starting to slip out of that alpha mentality. She dropped me off a little past midnight and we did a kiss goodbye. Slept well and had a great workout today boys. Despite what happened (or didn't) last night I feel more calm, collected, and IDGAF. Btw earlier in the car I had already asked her about weekend plans, was that too soon? She just responded with the usual "just let me know". Thanks for reading gentlemen, now let me have it.