I was a bit of a late bloomer as i was very shy as a teenager. Didn't have my first girlfriend till i was in my early 20's. The relationship was very toxic and ended very badly with lies, betrayal, cheating etc. This happened nearly 3 years ago.
I have gotten over it and barely even remember her anymore. During the 3 years I rarely slept with girls, just a few ONS and tinder hook ups, barely much dating.
But i'm starting to feel lonely. I do enjoy my time on my own but it's been such a long time since ive actually dated a girl. The experience with my ex has left me feeling so sour towards women. I'm not hear to understand what i did wrong in the relationship i've already learnt all that and red pill. I've grown as a person and i also know there are some really good women out there.
But i can't help feel this bitterness/sour feeling, i feel afraid of women ... I just felt so horrible after what happened with my ex I just naturally avoid women. How do I get over this fear? Every time i t hink of dating a women i just t hink nope don't want to experience that horrible feeling again
whytehorse2021 4y ago
It's called aberrant conditioning. It's a result of negative conditioning and leads to active avoidance. That basically encapsulates the entirety of MGTOW. This is why, deep down on an unconscious level, women are mortified that MGTOW is becoming widespread.
ThatFeelBruh 4y ago
Wait, are you saying its a good or bad thing?
mattyanon Admin 4y ago
women will not fix this
right
the fear is well founded.
right......... date in a different way. be much MUCH more cautious with your heart/feelings while making sure you get exactly what you want from the outset. expect less from them. bail if they show similar behaviour to previous gf.
MrSupreme 4y ago
Just be more mindful of your own feelings towards women as more than just the one who's doing stuff but as a spectator of your own actions, that will create some much needed detachment and that's where you start to feel better again
Durek_The_Bald 4y ago
One thing that isn't being talked about alot around here, and which I believe works very well as a red pill concept, is the art of forgiveness. There are always reasons why people are the way they are, and if you ever had full insight into someone else's mind, I think forgiveness would be a much easier thing. Also, it's one of the best ways to heal yourself, and to move forwards.
You would do well to forgive your ex for that which you might not fully understand, to forgive yourself for your former betaness (which I'm sure you had good reasons for), and to forgive women as a whole for what they are (and never really chose to be).
Forgiveness doesn't mean allowing yourself to be walked all over, it's mostly just a mindset for your own well-being. Say, as an example, someone cheats on you, you can simultaneously forgive that person, and break up with that person.
I'm not a Christian or anything, but I still think the art of forgiveness is one of the wisest concepts that religion ever came up with. It just works on so many levels, for you personally, and on a societal level. And to consciously try to practice it has helped me out on more than one occasion.
ThatFeelBruh 4y ago
Thank you for your wise words. It's refreshing to see a different perspective other than the typical bro-red pill advice.
I had convinced myself that this women was my best friend. I was blue pilled and couldn't imagine a scenario where she would do such a thing. I was just so shocked. I do forgive her, I know she had some major issues and a poor childhood. Maybe it's myself I need to forgive? There is still pain there even after a long time. There is no resentment towards her. I don't even hate women. I think it's myself. Maybe I still beat myself up for being so foolish.
Howdoiverify 4y ago
I also beat myself for being foolish but lesson learned
DextroShade 4y ago
Get your money right and get a traditional woman from overseas like Trump did. Feminism has ruined Western women.
whytehorse2021 4y ago
Depends on who you're talking about. It's a good thing when the slave escapes the plantation for the slave. It's a bad thing for the plantation owner.