Hi, A girl I hooked up with once has been talking to me lately and we made out again and started to head towards hooking up and we were going to go out for dinner. We both happened to be in the same spot and we were messaging each other but she was too lazy to put in effort to walk over to say Hi to me when in the same venue (it was super packed and she was likely with guys) That night, when I was leaving I said wow coulda say hi loser She then messaged in the morning all regretful saying Omg no what... that was ur fault I put her on read, didn't respond and I got a barrage of texts... "Are u alive" "Are u ignoring me" "Are u actually ignoring me from this just casue I didnt come over to see you" "Ur rude"
I only froze her out for 36 hours or so and said I was busy with a work thing all day and my phone was dead so I didnt see this since I never ignore her this long, nor has she to me.
She has a lot of pride so she will likely punish me for this behaviour as when she shows signs of interest I can tell she pulls back every time. So now that she has put herself out there, she is going to likely go cold etc.
On the one hand, she definitely thought I would never text her again, on the other hand I didn't want to come across as butt hurt but given the way we've been talking lately its weird not coming over to say hi when we are in the same venue for 3 hours (legit). I was talking to other girls so big deal but its just odd.
Anyways - for soft nexting.... what did I do wrong and how do I move forward if she is unhappy etc. Do I just give it space and try to ask her out in a few days or --?
Thanks for advice in advance.
koedeloe123 2y ago
You made a big deal about nothing. Now you're in a tough position, because you've been acting passive-aggressive by ignoring her. You need to work on your frame. If anything, this made you look butt hurt for no reason. Your excuse about your phone being dead is so obvious as well.
She already hit you up with a barrage of texts, so I think soft nexting is pointless at this point. Just hit her up when you're free, and don't talk about it, act like nothing has happened, that you don't even care. Bringing it up will make you look insecure/beta. She will probably bring it up, and shit test you. It's on you to recognize these shit tests, and pass them. If you do that, you'll be in these sugar walls in no time.
I hope you learned from this experience. Work on your frame.
roadrash888 2y ago
Well its kind of bizarre is it not? I messaged her back and she believed it and now she didnt bring it up and just answered me. She def will shit test to see if Im mad though.
I guess I have to look at it like, if it was a 6/10 would I have cared if she visited me in the bar.. answer is no.
The reason is because I am starting to like her etc likely.
I also wanted to take my attentioin away because she expects me to answer her the next day when she cant even walk over in the bar to see me when Im in person (from out of town).
The soft nexting made her think she could lose me if she plays stupid games, so potentially it could have helped.
I feel somehow it has.
mattyanon Admin 2y ago
Women are passive and fearful.
"Your fault" and "you are rude" seems like deflection.
Here's another plan:
You have a "girl you saw once" who put no effort in.
That means she's a lazy girl who you fucked once.
Accept this, know how she is, no response or punishment needed.