Hello,
I have this coworker who's a bit younger than me, but really attractive. I'm acting aloof and trying to not play too much into things because I'm cautious about everything in the #metoo era.
She's a very closed off person and doesn't open up to much people but she has personal conversations where she tells me more about herself than others. She once told me she's very weird with emotions and the way she shows she cares for someone is to cook for them. She surprised me at work with a nice homecooked meal on her day off. She also seems to be the one initiating all of the texting.
We've been a bit flirty with each other, but recently she went out on a few dates with a guy that looks very similar to me. She's told other coworkers that she's been seeing a guy friend for a few "dates" and she tells them to not say anything to me. She really goes out of the way to not mention that she is seeing a guy around me. She's been actively hiding it.
I'd like to get somewhere with this girl, should I just pull back and do my own thing and let the other guy friendzone himself? I believe I still need to be actively chatting her up but not going out of my way to give attention in case she is playing me for attention.
I've also thought about just asking to meetup somewhere outside of work to isolate her and then build up physically to see how that goes.
Any ideas?
mattyanon Admin 2y ago
DO NOT SHIT WHERE YOU EAT
He might fuck her.
If this wasn't a coworker I would point out that while you're "trying to look cool" and "not be beta", this other guy will try and fuck her and may well succeed.
If this wasn't a coworker, then yes except you tell her but don't ask her.
You're inexperienced with women, do not shit where you eat. It's awful and will cost you your job when it ends and you are painted as an abuser.
SgtBuchannon99 2y ago
Bro you are not entitled to know who shes sucking or fucking. Not even her Side-Chad who she sucks and fucks is.
You are not even on the playing field with a woman if you are not fucking her. In her eyes, you are on the sideline even if you flirt every single day. Even if she does non-sexual favors you are still on the sideline. A girl can be very attracted to you but if you do not make a move she will friend zone you. The only exception would be if she has a crush on you, but if that was the case she would make it easy for you, and if you dont take advantage of that she will resent you and friendzone you after to save her ego.
whytehorse2021 2y ago
First of all, consider the source. Is this coming from a chick that wants you? Second, see other women. Without social proof and preselection you'll have a hard time with women.
bbbmcw 2y ago
The source is from various people. Another co-worker stopped by unexpected to pick up his phone charger and some guy wondered in and waited til the store closed for her, that's how I know that the guy resembles me quite a bit.
I had also overheard her when she thought I couldn't hear her tell another girl that she had bought clothes for a guy friends birthday.
I seem to have decent social proof and preselection amongst others, I think she's just holding back with me or now she wants to give the new guy a fair chance.
Still think I need to get her out somewhere alone.
whytehorse2021 2y ago
I'm not bothered as much by her dating other guys.... what bothers me is her hiding it. I would treat her as a plate and spin other plates.
bbbmcw 2y ago
Thanks bro.
Hanscheezburger 2y ago
don't shit where you eat...