I need help on how to aproach this situation withouth being beta. My LTR of 5 months is going out in the night with her girl friends since a few weekends ago. Every time she goes out i proceed to ignore her until she comes back crawling for my attention and everything is good. Last weekend was different, she went out with her friends three consecutive days so i got angry and now im ignoring her more than ever, she tried to communicate with me with text but i told her simply that we would talk on saturday afternoon and let her on read. Im thinking in giving her an ultimatum and cut her off for good if she is not willing to give up going out in the night. What would you guys say to her, what do you think of my behaviour and what would you do in my situation?
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Conventional-DF 2y ago
I forgot to mention that i am from Argentina. Here its completly normal to go out in the night while being in a relationship but i don´t share that opinion at all, it makes me sick.
Hanscheezburger 2y ago
If she's your LTR then you should have a talk and tell her clearly what your boundaries are. Avoid judging her or saying it's bad/ slutty etc. Just calmly say it's not something you like and you look for different things in a relationship. I don't know if you did that before but I assume you didn't. If she repeats then unfortunately you should end it.
Conventional-DF 2y ago
How or what would you say? I have the tendencies to talk a little bit too harsh
Hanscheezburger 2y ago
"I want to talk with you about us. I enjoy spending time with you and think you are great, but since we're in a committed relationship I want to make it clear that I don't like you going out overnight with your friends without me. I understand you are an adult and I won't stop you from doing what you want. I just want to let you know it's not the type of relationship I'm looking for."
Don't get into an argument. A boss doesn't argue with his employees. If you do it calmly then she most likely would react in the same way. If she doesn't, leave the convo and don't talk to her for a few days.
Axlerod9999 2y ago
There no easy way out. You enforce boundaries and she starts looking for an exit. You don't and you will always wonder. You need to vet women better. 5 months don't make an LTR.
I suggest you let her do whatever and from today in your mind demote her to a plate. Which means you start scouting for better prospects.
[deleted] 2y ago
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Axlerod9999 2y ago
6-12 months minimum. Only then you invest in her.