I work at a place where I work with refugees and illegals. I have a female co worker who says that I'm not aggressive enough. The reason is because one day we sent away illegals who were not supposed to be there, on the way out the illegal sleepers started cussing her out on a distance. I stood in front of them and I told them to go away before the police comes. She said that she felt humiliated and that I did nothing. Nothing would gain from discussing in my opinion.
In another situation there was a refugee who started a discussion with her in which both of them started to raise their voice. I pulled the refugee away when he started to come closer in her face. She said I should've pulled him much earlier away. She blames me for not sticking up for her because I'm a man of 6'2. She says that I confront them too sweet and friendly. Now she is telling other colleagues that I don't stand up for her and that an other colleague does and that he is much better than me.
I'm verbally not so strong and I don't like to argue. So usually in these kind of situations I just stand in front of these people and tell them what to do without going into discussion. If they do keep trying getting into the discussion I end the discussion. While she likes to confront people immediately fierce and seek confrontation while its not necessary.
However I'm confused how she is saying that she blames me for not guaranteeing her safety. Do women expect other men to be their body guards even though I'm not her man or anything? Also I don't feel like she was threatened at any time. I feel like I should confront her because she is putting dirt on my name as man but at the other hand I think I should let it slide because there is nothing to gain.
whytehorse2021 2y ago
Classic game of "let's you and him fight". In these games it is usually resolved by being the adult. Set your boundaries of what is acceptable behaviour from the refugees and stick to it. Let her deal with her conflicts herself. If she's too weak to do the job she can quit and they can hire a man or a security guard.
Imagine a gf who complains about how you wash the dishes. The first time she complains, that's when you tell her she's doing all the dishes from now on. This woman needs to be told "OK, so you don't like how I handle these refugees? You handle them then. "
[deleted] 2y ago
[--removed--]
Azegzao 2y ago
I agree with you completely. I pull people only away if there is a chance they might be hitting someone.
NeoSpartan 2y ago
I dunno man. This woman sounds like a bitch. I'd just ignore her and keep doing what you're doing. If she is as you describe, your coworkers should have enough sense to realize that she is full of shit and shouldn't take the slander seriously. It seems to me that she is doing that to try and manipulate you. Don't let her do that, yeah? Protect her from serious harm but don't become like apuppet for her or w/e.
SeasonedRP 2y ago
Heartiste referred to this phenomenon as "why don't you two fight." Ignore her.
MrSupreme 2y ago
It's called "lets you and him fight"
Next time tell her she's on her own ,leave her with the problem she's facing even if it's a violent guy or whatever, and let her know what an ungrateful little shit she is.