So I met this girl for the third time, for the first time I was at work in a museum and she was other students, I did do a tour guide for them, They all liked it and there was one Mexican chick who came and asked me for my Instagram, she was new in my country.
We chatted for like a day and then the day after, I straight up asked her if she know how to squat ( so she was fit ), she was kind of surprised by the question, but I explained to her that I can get her to the gym with me and have a session together, she accepted, we spent the whole day together, we ate and finally I asked her to smoke a J in my place.
She came to my place we smoked, we chilled and I was touching her and everything, she was very into me, I was super dominant and I was like teaching her stuff.
Though I was kinda confused about her vibe, is she friend-zoning me, or is she into me. But, she was touching me, she had very open body language, anyway, we got super high and before she came I mentioned to her I have a very strict sleep schedule and I will kick her at 10 pm.
That is what happened, I honestly was super high to make a move for a kiss and when 10 pm came, she left.
We kept texting for a while and we agreed to meet the next weekend, to go for a hike together, during the week, which is yesterday I got injured in my BJJ practice ( my rib almost got broken), she texted me how I'm doing and I was like this and that happened, she ran to my place and she brought food and brought me some painkillers pills.
We ate dinner together, and then I followed by inviting her to smoke a joint together and watch something, while I was preparing my room for that, she asked if she can go home quickly and come back, she came back after like 10 min, in her PJ's and reach to chill.
We chilled and we started watching some videos, I was touching her and kind of cuddling, I was feeling a lot of pain in my back and I asked her to message that part, she was super bad at massaging, so I turned to her and showed her how to message a person, she enjoyed it and she gave up her body to me.
All of this to explain that, she give me all perfect IOI's to go for a kiss, I turned back to her and I went to kiss her, surprisingly she gave me her cheek and it was quite awkward... I did not wire reaction, and I kept having a conversation. we agreed before she came that I sleep at 11, 11 was close and she said she wanna leave, but then she stayed for a bit more.
But honestly, it would have been impossible for me to go for another kiss and get rejected again, I have kept my face close to her, and I said to myself if this girl really wanna a kiss she would go for it and I won't be putting myself in that position again.
She kept giving me IOI's after the failed kiss, but nothing big deal, till she left.
I'm super confused about what happened, I'm not interested anymore in seeing her the weekend for the hike and honestly, I don't feel physically good at all anyway, I'm looking forward to she is going to text me if she ever does.
She really really liked me, she was planning to go raves with me and was like, next time you should come to my place, etc... but she kisses blocked me, I don't know if maybe that it was my fault, maybe she didn't expect the kiss and she didn't know how to react and I should have given it another chance, but meh that was wired as fuck
va2000 about a year ago
Something isn't clear.. she fucked you but turning her cheek is a "kiss block"? Lots of girls consider kissing more personal than fucking. Maybe she just doesn't know you enough yet.
Manoble about a year ago
I think, we spent like almost two days together and she kind of knows me from other people, how would girl think kissing is more private than fucking?
orbilius about a year ago
I had a similar thing recently except that we had kissed and I'd been grabbing her boobs over her clothes. I had taken my shirt off and she was feeling me up, and then she put a stop to it when I started unbuttoning her shirt. WTF?
The name for this bullshit is "last minute resistance" and you can search for it on the forums here. Much has been written about it.
My go-to play is to pull back a little myself. Let her come to me, which is a kind of investment on her part. If she doesn't come to me then it's basically over. I agree with you that I'm not going to keep trying the same thing and get rejected over and over.
I'm not bothered by rejection - the reason I stop is that it's just the wrong frame for the relationship. I don't want a girl who is telling me "no" before sex. It's different after sex. After/during sex, if she's not down for some specific sex act then fine, no big deal. But if we don't even get to sex and I'm having to navigate this maze of "no" then it feels like I'm being submissive and we all know she's not going to find that attractive. Best to just bounce.
In my case, I just leaned back and smiled and acted like it was no big deal. I was hoping she would lean in and start feeling me up again. Nope. She fucking got up and go another drink. I put my shirt back on. When she came back she sat about a foot away from me (she had been in my arms before) and talked about some bullshit or other - asked if I wanted to watch TV. lol.
So, I left - made sure I wasn't butthurt about it. I really did need to get home and sleep. We texted a bit after that. I've invited her over, and invited her along when I hang out with friends. She's never come out. And that's it. That's the last time I saw her. I have no idea if I did something wrong, or could have done something differently and banged her.
Sometimes this shit just happens.
mattyanon Admin about a year ago
Solid reply
Manoble about a year ago
Very similar situation,
I really don't know if I have to keep going forward with her, She sent me a text today, and she was like I stole your lighter and sent a vocal message saying she enjoyed her night and was very fun being with me. I don't if I should ignore her or keep going with it and trying again
orbilius about a year ago
I don't think you should ignore her. She's still in play, so long as you don't let her waste too much of your time.
My only advice is to pull back a bit, and let her chase you. If she wants to, she will. If she doesn't, then by pulling back (by which I mean, one or two word answers, and no effort, not outright ignoring) you will have avoided having your time wasted.
If you have other things going on, and particularly if you have other plates, the best chance of getting with her is giving her a little sniff of that - posting what you're doing on social media, etc.
Manoble about a year ago
Thanks for the advice,
I've been doing that already, I sent her a pic of my body( I broke my ribs in BJJ practice ) and I have a bandage on, she texted me " dammmn that's not hot " She is been giving me a lot of IOI's but the fact she dodged my kiss made me really confused, though I find her extremely hot
Vermillion-Rx Admin about a year ago
You could have 99.9% made the kiss right there. She probably thought you had no balls by date 3. She gave you so many green lights.
Kiss on the cheek doesn't necessarily mean she won't kiss on the lips. I've gotten a cheek before and seconds later the girl let me kiss on the lips. Sometimes that's their last stand before letting you go in for the real thing
Manoble about a year ago
I agree the first night she came to my place, i didn't go for the kiss and I regretted it, that's why the second time she came, I went for it. But it's pretty awkward to give the cheek , really this is was super confusing and I almost gave up and was like fuck her. Till she texted me about what planned for the weekend and I think i will give it one last shot
Vermillion-Rx Admin about a year ago
Look, she's coming over for a third time after already being physical. She sounds down. Re-create that physical vibe again and just go for it
Don't give up this time. Pull back and try again if she turns away. Obviously don't force it to happen if she's legit resisting bit at least try a few times.
If she won't even let you kiss after this weekend it's time to drop her
Scorpion69_ about a year ago
Shit test. Take action, grab her face/chin and kiss her in da lips
whytehorse2021 about a year ago
This is just a guess but maybe she has trauma surrounding that or maybe some kind of sensory overload. I generally don't kiss prostitutes or ONS. Only people I'm really into mating with.
mattyanon Admin about a year ago
Totally understandable, but this is just not how women think.
Women do not think "it's my turn" or "I showed him disinterest before, therefore I need to show more interest now".
Nope - they just don't think in this logical way.
Here's how they think: "He tried to kiss me before, I'm ready now, if he's into me he'll try again and I'll let him".
And really, if she's not into kissing that's fine..... just squeeze her tits or pussy or something.
You've done quite a few "not feeling good" / "tired" / "injured"...... that's offputting to girls.
I wouldn't worry about the kiss thing as much as you are doing. Girls sometimes panic and do the wrong thing, and they expect YOU to fix it. It's dumb as a box of rocks, but it is how they are.
Don't see kissing as a necessary precursor to sex or a blowjob: it isn't.
One issue you've got is that you're doing activities and things with the girl, and hoping she interprets it as foreplay. This is dangerous because by offering her activities and things (gym, rave, hiking, whatever) you risk being in the friend zone. Hopefully you touch her during these activities to establish a correct male to female dynamic.
Anyway, this girl in particular: invite her over to netflix and chill. Tease her lips rather than trying to kiss her. Try to fuck her. If no-go then next.
Manoble about a year ago
Perfect explanation man,
I appreciate it all, thank you !