Approached the hottest girl in the gym - failed miserably | TheRedPill

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illusivepigeon

Posted 2y ago in Field Report - Permalink - Locked - 962 Views

I have literally never approached a girl sober in my life before today; ugly, hot, nothing. I noticed that she had been looking at me a few times, and I have had huge regret before when things like this have happened before and I didn't at least try, so this time I swallowed my fear and did it.

My idea was to say "I caught you looking at me earlier" in a cheeky way - The problem is, I was nervous so didn't smile and definitely came across as confrontational instead lmao, like I was saying it to a guy. She ended up looking uncomfortable and it wasn't going well, so I just said "you don't have to talk to me if you don't want", and she went.

I'm worried now that I have been labelled a creep etc at my gym, fuck lol. I see why they say don't approach at your gym.

On the other hand, I had the balls to go up to the hottest girl there and talk to her, which is pretty huge as it's my first ever cold approach.

EDIT: Forgot to mention that there were other people around too, which of course adds to the nerves - overall I'm pretty proud that I did it.

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milfslapper2021 2y ago

Good on you for trying but do yourself a favor and don't approach at the gym.

If you want to get girls attention at the gym either become a coach or have fun with your buddies at the gym.

Cancelcancelculture 2y ago

I would imagine you would have had more success if your conversation didnt assume an immediate jump into the category of something outside of a friendly chat... but the question is, what kind of question or topic is a good opener as a means for friendly chat? Suppose you could just ask her what she does for work or study around here? Any better ideas?

320skew 2y ago

Kudos on approaching. You sure crashed and burn but at least you did it. That's not something some guys can say. But yea, avoid a gym pick up unless you're getting crazy IOIs, or don't have an investment in that gym locale. Think of it like a lesser version of "Don't shit where you eat".

After a failed pick up, think about how it went. Let the emotions sink in. Then ignore them. Most of the time, we over inflate failure to be bigger than it really is. Fixating way after the fact on what you could have done better or just dwelling on it negatively will probably make it seem worse then it was and make you more anxious. Instead, focus on the fact you went and tried and see if you can do that again.

redmatrix7 2y ago

Doing this shit at the gym was your first mistake.

illusivepigeon 2y ago

I've heard people say go for it, and others say not to. Where else can you meet girls who lift anyway?

Tooktheredpill 2y ago

Based on your experience and hind sight, do you now think you should’ve gone for it? Probably not I’d guess. On the other hand, that DID take balls to do.

illusivepigeon 2y ago

I actually feel really good that I did it - I guess it's about overcoming the fear of rejection, more than getting one girls number.

Tooktheredpill 2y ago

Well shit, that’s one way to do it…baptism by fire. Hats off to you for having the nuts. I’d just recommend not doing it at the gym if that’s somewhere you want to be for a while, especially if other dudes find out. Most will white knight because they want to fuck the girls you have the balls to approach, but they don’t have the guts to do so.

illusivepigeon 2y ago

Yeah I'm not going to make it a habit, I've been at this gym for years already. To be fair, none of the guys there would say shit to me anyway.

coolsocks00 1 2y ago

You went for it. Good for you.

Save the gym pickups for when you have your approach anxiety under control and have more regular success, imo.

illusivepigeon 2y ago

I definitely agree going forward

Vermillion-Rx Admin 2y ago

Gym game is a failed endeavor without extreme social intelligence and simultaneously being one of the most fit looking guys at the gym

illusivepigeon 2y ago

I have the second part going for me

Vermillion-Rx Admin 2y ago

Going for you or are you there already?

illusivepigeon 2y ago

'Going for me' means it's something I have, I'm from the UK, maybe you don't have that phrase

Vermillion-Rx Admin 2y ago

We have the phrase in the US, I don't know why I read it differently.

I'm sure it was the social aspect that doomed you then

I give you credit for trying though, that takes courage

illusivepigeon 2y ago

Definitely, and that's what I'm working on. Bit dumb to approach at the gym with no experience, but I don't really care that much tbh, I'm glad I took a step.

NeoSpartan 2y ago

Do not cold approach at the gym, my god. Think of it like you would approaching at a workplace. You are going to need more of an IOI then just eye contact. I caught some chick scoping me just today, but she was with her bf... so wtf. Anyway the point is eye contact means very little, only the possibility that she might find you attractive and the gym is a place where you see the same people all the time and there are also fucking gossips who blab to everyone about everything.

Next time you catch a chick looking at you, shoot her a wink or a smile and gauge her reaction before you go full in. Also be friendly, don't be intense. Keep things light af.

illusivepigeon 2y ago

To be fair I've seen her definitely checking me out before, I wouldn't have done it otherwise. I don't think it was out of place for me to try, it's just the way I approached was bad and I put too much pressure on her... Anyway it's a step to improving!

NeoSpartan 2y ago

Well, good for you for putting yourself out there dude. It is a good step, just maybe not the ideal first step hahaha. Anyway, keep it up man, gl!

Try and be friendly and keep things light. Start there and once you get more comfy with the thing implement some friendly teasing and whatnot. When I used to do the gym before masks were a thing I would test out the eye contact IOIs by shooting a smile or something at them. Then do a light test interaction, if that went well, I would try something further the next time I saw them there.

Superpal 2y ago

Dont these bitches consider wiking a form of sexual harrasment lmao https://yougov.co.uk/topics/lifestyle/articles-reports/2017/11/01/sexual-harassment-how-genders-and-generations-see-

NeoSpartan 2y ago

Ignore the media. Everything they say is bullshit.

whytehorse2021 2y ago

Good job, my man. Failure is how we learn. Keep failing until you succeed. Learn from each mistake and you'll be a pro in no time. The problem with chicks at your gym is they can notify management and get you black-balled if they don't like you. Better to practice on randos at walmart or whatever.