I've been red pill aware since 2011. It took a like time but I internalized the concepts and reached acceptance somewhere around 2018. From 2018-2020 I had found my way as a successful alpha.
Then I got really, really sick last October. My physical sickness coupled with career loss meant I had a lot of time on my hands to be on the internet, wasting time, talking to women I could not physically go on dates with.
After several cringeworthy conversations I look back on now, I am disgusted with the weak, pathetic man I've become. At least I'm awake to it now and intend to take the red pill for the 2nd time, but damn am I ever disgusted with myself. Friendzoned, proactively rejected by a married woman I wasn't even hitting on, revealing way too much about myself and being vulnerable to women who share the disease.
How did you get over the fact that at least a handful of women out there will forever view you as a version of yourself you disgust?
Hanscheezburger 4y ago
'How did you get over the fact that at least a handful of women out there will forever view you as a version of yourself you disgust?'
Nothing you can do to change it except to work on yourself and let their perception change naturally. That's how you get over it
CrispyCruiser 4y ago
Women who share the medical condition or "disease" as me, is what I meant.
I am starting to improve in my health and within the next 6 months will be back out in the field
Iliketoast 4y ago
You dont get over it. Even if you turn to drink to bury your pride its just escapism. You suck it up and grow. I have so many bad moments because i was naive. I hate them but they are my scars.
Against the consensus in this space, I also think oneitis is a powerful tool. People will say abundance is best but you have to get there first. Motivation from not being good enough is the best reason to lift heavier than you ever have.
Sorry but you took the red pill in 2011 and make this post? That makes you at least 26 and i think its higher.
If only i found red pill in the golden age. I found it in 2018.
Dont get me wrong we all have weak moments but your intro suggests you arent doing the work and are spouting victim puke.
You say your friendzoning youself. Have you ever thought that not being a friend and being sexual makes you a sexual option? Thats the key, show sexual intent and if you get turned down you wont regret it.
CrispyCruiser 4y ago
I am 32 and took the red pill when I was 22. Everything was going perfectly as I approached 30. My SMV had probably climbed 2-3 points from a 4 to a 7 in the 6-7 years I took to fully digest the red pill.
But what you call "victim puke" is actually called physical disability. A doctor committed medical malpractice against me and destroyed my body, requiring 5 surgeries, costing me a career where I made $138,000 last year, and imprisoning me in my home for the last year and counting. So when you're physically unable to go on dates or go to the gym, there's only so much bootstrapping you can sell to guys who can barely walk.
For the record I am getting better and should be back out in the field in 2022 but this is why I lost myself, in spite of your ignorance and glossing over the part where I said I got "really sick". I spent time in a wheelchair but I guess I still should've been sagging downtown...
Iliketoast 4y ago
My apologies then. Sounds like a rough deal but also out of your control. It sounds like you have the drive and will power to ovcercome this but you will have low moments. Focus on what you can control and allow yourself to feel low, so long as you then use it as motivation to improve.
Mentally, i imagine you are low on confidence and will show through your actions. Set a target of a year to reaffirm your confidence. Unfortunately for success and respect you'll need to display confidence and that can only come from overcoming this. I feel for ya but theres only one way to move forward. Just know that us biys are routed for anyone who is trying to better themselves. Good luck.
whytehorse2021 4y ago
It's called self respect. You have to respect yourself first. Making mistakes and learning is how you grow as a man. You also have to be able to laugh at yourself. I was fucking my wife like a beta for 15 years and only recently learned she'd let me do anal and she's having all these orgasms.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 4y ago
Honestly I don't give a fuck, I just stopped doing all of those beta things.
And when I run into those girls or see photos of them online, they are almost always fatter, uglier, and closer to the wall than when I fucked up in their eyes.
Let me tell you the story of multiple girls that fucked me over when I was beta and where they are at in life now:
1) was thin and cute and the worst of all of them. High school, falsely accused me of stalking because I was clingy and beta. I dropped out because of her. We were never even romanticly involved.
Now she's a fat whale with big puffy chipmunk cheeks and her N count became 40 by age 21. It's probably 100 now. I see her sad fucking profile on tinder every 3 weeks when she resets her account over and over again. She's just a local hairdresser too, became nothing noteworthy.
2) girl 2, treated me like absolute shit after I got clingy, also never romantically involved. Got substantially chubbier and hit the wall early. Went to college only to become a driving instructor to high school kids.
3) ex gf. Was thin, maybe an HB7. I was beta as all hell. Cried all the time, very emotional, insecure about her past etc. I broke up with her but not before being beta as fuck. Now she's married to a beta and became fat after being underweight her whole relationship with me.
4) girl I had a massive beta crush on in middle school. Solid fucking 9/10. I acted stupid around her and was desperate. She married a Chad straight out of high school at 18 and now she goes to the same gym 12 years later.
Here's the kicker though, she's a fat whale now and her ripped Chad husband is stuck with her fat ass. She went from being the masturbation material of the whole damn class to being an HB5 on a good day.
5) girl I lost my virginity to, former FWB. She was already a bit chubby but managed to pull off being a 6. Nice tits too. I lost massive frame early and became a bitch always asking about her past. I cried and had panic attacks.
She ended up showing my friends her tits during truth or dare and then immediately left me for a guy with lower SMV than me.
Now she's married and very fat. Like holy shit fat and has this ultra hideous tattoo covering her whole back
That's why I don't give a fuck about all the times I used to be beta, because every girl that could judge me for it dropped in value catastrophically. Now my SMV towers over theirs.
Life runs its course on women