I dated a girl twice. I was kind of new to being with women and absolutely fucked it up both sexually and emotionally being too vulnerable and opening up too to her too early. She lost attraction and told me she didnt want to see me anymore. I accepted it and didnt fight her or pressure her into changing her decision and she was shocked I didnt and we ended on good terms, she just told me that she felt that the positions and some attitudes were off and that I wasnt what she was looking for. I know this attitudes and positions is me being weak and annoying at talking too much about my problems.
This happened like a month ago and I still think about her. She was a HB9 and with a very cool personality, very similar to me with interesting hobbies .
I wonder if maybe in the future, like in some months I could reach out again and try again. But I am not sure anymore. I am not waiting for her, I am dating other people but I still think she was someone that I truly want to keep seeing.
What do you think?
Pedal_Moonpower 2y ago
You can get her back.
She will never be yours really tho.
Once you beat bezos, show your face on TV with some rap Latina chick singing about you shell be back. to fleece you, you could likely strike a deal with her that you'll pay her for flat in NY central but she have to come collect money for rent every week. I actually believe it. Also at this point you'll have a skyscraper full of women.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2y ago
No, the reality is that she probably will not want to date again. Been there before, you just have to gain that experience and become less needy with new women.
Also, I guarandamntee she was not a 9. There is no way, you are estimating her SMV way too high and that's all the more indication that you are putting her too high on a pedestal.
You did not pull a 9 being new to dating women, be honest with yourself
ash00000 2y ago
https://imgur.com/a/GBkaYRp I think she is a 9.
It sucks I played it that bad honestly
Cancelcancelculture 2y ago
Echo'ing others here. Definitely definitely not a 9. She maybe just scrapes into a 7 category.
[deleted] 2y ago
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ash00000 2y ago
lol, it is true she has kind of a rat face from the profile. On her pics isnt as noticeable but in person yes. She is hot tho, has great body and ass. And a cool personality
SheLarror1234 2y ago
Tbh she kind of looks masculine/"mighty", imo. I live in a high "cultured" area so women like this are pretty common. Her rate would go up if she actually had exotic features like freckles, or different eye colors, or a rounder, cuter face etc.
Id rate her a solid 5
It does sound like op is doing some sort of weird, past-onetis mate guarding i cant explain. Perhaps to confirm that the L he took with her, was actually an loss.
It is not
You put these women on too much of a pedestal. If your still dating, just pull someone who looks the same. Its not hard and im pretty sure her look is common enough. I used to think my best looking chick was actually a 10 until i found "another" one who looked even better. This chick is not even a 10.
You'll get over it.
ash00000 2y ago
where do you live? I find it so hard to find women who I am attracted to.
"It does sound like op is doing some sort of weird, past-onetis mate guarding i cant explain. Perhaps to confirm that the L he took with her, was actually an loss."
You might be right, I find it weird as well.
Thank you for your comment, it helps
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2y ago
If that is her she is more attractive than I thought. Anyway, yes it sucks. It's gonna sting for a while. Focus on upping your SMV and getting that experience in so that you're in better shape for the next girl you're really into
ash00000 2y ago
yeah its her. I pulled her up from friends in common and she was very into me, very high interest. She would send like streak of 15 messages with voice notes, pictures, etc. I really fucked it up.
She had common interests such as watching anime, art, philosophy and overall I liked her because she doesnt drink or do drugs, has a ton of activities like paiting and dancing and is very good at them, etc.
I need to improve in my confidence, she was my first girl. I used to date guys only and I fell for her like no one before. When we had sex I was so lost and I kept asking if what I was doing was fine and then when we were about to sleep I woke her up and told her that I was feeling horrible because my inexperience was ruining things and she just couldnt take it anymore. I understand her. I just wish I would have practiced with less ideal girls lol. But I am very picky and I cant even see myself kissing someone I am not into both physically and personality wise.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2y ago
I don't know that your inexperience in itself would have permanently ruined anything, but your attitude definitely hurt it.
No girl wants to hear how badly you feel about yourself and your abilities. Like I said, it sucks, avoid telling women how you feel about yourself if it's negative
Edit: I agree, it would have been better to learn on a less attractive girl. But most guys won't even land a girl that looks like that. Count your blessings and improve yourself. You'll find another, don't turn her into a unicorn in your mind
ash00000 2y ago
Yes. I always used to be more aware of being this ways. I was in a way “brainwashed” thinking that women liked transparency so I showed myself vulnerable but vulnerable in a bad way.
I can score mostly any woman based off looks, I have been working a lot on my physical appearance and I am at my peak physically at 25. I know that on social meetings and such the women there are into me most of the times, my friends tell me and such. But personality wise I have obscure hobbies such as occultism, finances, philosophy, and things of the sort and I have a very hard time connecting with someone and I found that its very important to me to have depth in my relationships even if its a sexual relationship I need to feel I am growing. Also a side I have which I am not that fond of is that I am very very picky to the point of not having sex even tough I can but just isnt a priority if its not someone that attracts me.
mattyanon Admin 2y ago
No no no.
Move on. Get better for yourself.
She'll never see you as strong and cool once you've fucked up.
Growing 2y ago
No woman cares about your problems. If she does find out svout them, let it not be from you. If she tells you about your problems, avoid talking about them in depth. As long as you continue being a man, she'll respect you for carrying on despite the flaws. But be ready for shit tests. She'll basically be constantly confirming whether you are still a man.
Why reach out? That's a scarcity mentality. Move on with ither HBs and after you are in the sheets with several, you'll see she isn't as special as you thought her to be.
No girl, I repeat, no girl is worth you stressing over.
You will be giving your attention and affection and commitment freely. No woman values free things. They value the ones they've worked for. They are open to receiving free things though.
Hanscheezburger 2y ago
everything is possible. women are emotional creatures, their decision can change based on how they feel at the moment. she can give you another shot, but it's highly likely she will ghost you afterwards.
based on what you wrote you have a bad case of oneitis. you're still stuck on that one woman and/or your ego is preventing you from moving on. It might hurt for a while but you need to get yourself out of that situation and move the fuck on. once she said she didn't want to see you, nothing you do will make you more attractive. Focus on yourself and see if she reaches out. If not, take the L and focus on other women
I did something similar but after dating other women and then meeting her again, her HB dropped significantly lower in my eyes. When you have oneitis, your brain does funny things and they became the most beautiful unicorn in the world. Now I can choose to see her again, or not, because I have better options. Once you met people who look better and fun to hang around with than your oneitis, it gets much easier