Based on a lot of the posts here, I thought everyone should be reminded about the skittles. Never forget, if your girl is not aroused by you, then her love language is getting presents, attention, praise and total obedience. If she is aroused by you, then her love language is getting railed.

Skittles: A Modern Retelling


Let me tell you the story of Emma. Emma was dating a smart, handsome, academic leader named Sebastian, it was her Birthday. Sebastian had spent months curating over $800 worth of gifts from all of Emma's favorite boutiques and designers. There were hand carved earrings, a custom-designed T-shirt of her favorite band, a necklace, wall art, a vintage coat, and even an antique art deco end table with a mini embossed turquoise tile mosaic for her room. Sebastian knew that if he just got enough stuff he was sure she would like, then she would at least like one of them. He added on a $200 bouquet of roses and handmade chocolate truffles from her favorite chocolatier in San Fransisco, the one they had visited on their trip last January. Just to be safe, he wrote her a poem... and a song... and he learned an Ed Sheeran song she loved that he would sing her after his own song if it flopped.

That afternoon he picked up the cake. It was a small seven layer marzipan torte that cost $145 and could be used at a wedding if it wasn't covered in pistachio dust and edible gold leaf. That night as he buried Emma in an onslaught of lavish gifts and serenades, she seemed increasingly annoyed, even rolling her eyes at the t-shirt (the thing he was sure she would like the most). She didn't really feel like cake, and was too tired from work to go to the Michelin-star restaurant he'd reserved. It was her birthday, she should do what she wants. And what she wanted most was to relax, and get takeout. She put on new episodes of Fuckboy Island, while Sebastian brought her Mai-tais and ordered 3 favorites from her favorite restaurants around the bay. When he got back almost 2 hours later, she wasn't hungry anymore. The fresh fish pakras from the Indian seafood restaurant went straight to the dog because they'd never be good the next day. The dog got a little sick, but Sebastian cleaned it up. He checked his notebook. He'd done everything perfect. He hit every checkbox and bullet. He beamed with pride to himself as he imagined Emma bragging to her friends about how perfect he was. Almost smug, he fell asleep next to her on the couch.

As the night proceeded, Fuckboy Island was starting to get her a little hot and bothered. She started reminiscing about 3 years ago on her Birthday, when she'd been dating Kyle. Kyle was unbelievably hot. He'd just look at her and she'd get wet. Fuck. She was getting wet just thinking about him. They'd been dating six months, and he hadn't made it official. She'd felt restless and anxious. But on her Birthday... Fuck... Kyle invited her over pretty late, about 11, after hanging out with his friends. He didn't even speak. When she walked in the door, he just scooped her over his shoulder, carried her to his room and threw her down on the bed. His room was a little messy, and when he pulled off her little black dress, he popped the zipper on the side. She'd thought about repairing it, but she just kept in the closet instead, it seemed wrong to get it fixed. The things he did to her that night... Oh Fuck... she could almost come just from thinking about it. When she was breathless and completely spent, she'd turned over and kissed him, waking him up as he swatted at her, groaning "Lemme sleep."

Feeling bold, she'd demanded "I'm hungry now. It's my birthday. Get me food." Kyle roused for a moment and shuffled through the drawer next to the bed until he found a half eaten bag of skittles which he tossed to her before going back to sleep. She was so excited, she was almost in tears. "It's the best present I've ever gotten", she'd said to herself. She'd cried gently with joy as she slowly ate three skittles singing and humming to herself as she did, beaming with happiness she had never felt. She'd taken the skittles home that night and put them in a velvet bag inside a wooden box her grandfather had carved when he was a boy. In the months after Kyle moved on, whenever she was lonely, she would take out a skittle, and almost say a little prayer before putting it in her mouth, letting it slowly dissolve over twenty minutes, and feeling those emotions all over again.

Emma got up, tossed the blanket on snoozing Sebastian and went to her room. She stripped down to her panties and opened the little wooden box, carefully untying the velvet pouch and unrolling the crinkly red bag. There were still thirteen skittles left. She placed a green one on her tongue and climbed into the soft quilted blanket, caressing her body with her hands and savoring the taste as she softly moaned. Her fingers smoothed slowly down from her breasts over her flat tummy and under the lip of her panties. Slowly they moved over the prickly stubble and down between her thighs. She was soaked before she even touched herself as she closed her eyes and let her fingers softly rekindle the memories of the best birthday she'd ever had.