Based on a lot of the posts here, I thought everyone should be reminded about the skittles. Never forget, if your girl is not aroused by you, then her love language is getting presents, attention, praise and total obedience. If she is aroused by you, then her love language is getting railed.
Skittles: A Modern Retelling
Let me tell you the story of Emma. Emma was dating a smart, handsome, academic leader named Sebastian, it was her Birthday. Sebastian had spent months curating over $800 worth of gifts from all of Emma's favorite boutiques and designers. There were hand carved earrings, a custom-designed T-shirt of her favorite band, a necklace, wall art, a vintage coat, and even an antique art deco end table with a mini embossed turquoise tile mosaic for her room. Sebastian knew that if he just got enough stuff he was sure she would like, then she would at least like one of them. He added on a $200 bouquet of roses and handmade chocolate truffles from her favorite chocolatier in San Fransisco, the one they had visited on their trip last January. Just to be safe, he wrote her a poem... and a song... and he learned an Ed Sheeran song she loved that he would sing her after his own song if it flopped.
That afternoon he picked up the cake. It was a small seven layer marzipan torte that cost $145 and could be used at a wedding if it wasn't covered in pistachio dust and edible gold leaf. That night as he buried Emma in an onslaught of lavish gifts and serenades, she seemed increasingly annoyed, even rolling her eyes at the t-shirt (the thing he was sure she would like the most). She didn't really feel like cake, and was too tired from work to go to the Michelin-star restaurant he'd reserved. It was her birthday, she should do what she wants. And what she wanted most was to relax, and get takeout. She put on new episodes of Fuckboy Island, while Sebastian brought her Mai-tais and ordered 3 favorites from her favorite restaurants around the bay. When he got back almost 2 hours later, she wasn't hungry anymore. The fresh fish pakras from the Indian seafood restaurant went straight to the dog because they'd never be good the next day. The dog got a little sick, but Sebastian cleaned it up. He checked his notebook. He'd done everything perfect. He hit every checkbox and bullet. He beamed with pride to himself as he imagined Emma bragging to her friends about how perfect he was. Almost smug, he fell asleep next to her on the couch.
As the night proceeded, Fuckboy Island was starting to get her a little hot and bothered. She started reminiscing about 3 years ago on her Birthday, when she'd been dating Kyle. Kyle was unbelievably hot. He'd just look at her and she'd get wet. Fuck. She was getting wet just thinking about him. They'd been dating six months, and he hadn't made it official. She'd felt restless and anxious. But on her Birthday... Fuck... Kyle invited her over pretty late, about 11, after hanging out with his friends. He didn't even speak. When she walked in the door, he just scooped her over his shoulder, carried her to his room and threw her down on the bed. His room was a little messy, and when he pulled off her little black dress, he popped the zipper on the side. She'd thought about repairing it, but she just kept in the closet instead, it seemed wrong to get it fixed. The things he did to her that night... Oh Fuck... she could almost come just from thinking about it. When she was breathless and completely spent, she'd turned over and kissed him, waking him up as he swatted at her, groaning "Lemme sleep."
Feeling bold, she'd demanded "I'm hungry now. It's my birthday. Get me food." Kyle roused for a moment and shuffled through the drawer next to the bed until he found a half eaten bag of skittles which he tossed to her before going back to sleep. She was so excited, she was almost in tears. "It's the best present I've ever gotten", she'd said to herself. She'd cried gently with joy as she slowly ate three skittles singing and humming to herself as she did, beaming with happiness she had never felt. She'd taken the skittles home that night and put them in a velvet bag inside a wooden box her grandfather had carved when he was a boy. In the months after Kyle moved on, whenever she was lonely, she would take out a skittle, and almost say a little prayer before putting it in her mouth, letting it slowly dissolve over twenty minutes, and feeling those emotions all over again.
Emma got up, tossed the blanket on snoozing Sebastian and went to her room. She stripped down to her panties and opened the little wooden box, carefully untying the velvet pouch and unrolling the crinkly red bag. There were still thirteen skittles left. She placed a green one on her tongue and climbed into the soft quilted blanket, caressing her body with her hands and savoring the taste as she softly moaned. Her fingers smoothed slowly down from her breasts over her flat tummy and under the lip of her panties. Slowly they moved over the prickly stubble and down between her thighs. She was soaked before she even touched herself as she closed her eyes and let her fingers softly rekindle the memories of the best birthday she'd ever had.
NeoSpartan 3y ago
Is this a copypasta?
Moral of the story and tl;dr girls like sex more than gifts and you should be going to the gym and learning how to properly apply kino rather then spending cash on them. This is good advice, dunno why skittles are involved though.
hannulv 3y ago
It's an original retelling of an old copypasta. Skittles are the main element and the skittles story is referenced throughout the manosphere.
There are a lot of morals to the story, but it is more about the difference between what gives girls feelz and what girls will say gives them feelz. The skittles were the most special, precious gift that she ever received, not because of thoughtfulness, cost, meaning, planning, attention, or even intent. They were special simply because of the overwhelming emotions she had at the time she got them. But they were still special, and more special than anything else ever. It is a lesson in female solipsism. The world revolves around Emma. Kyle's intentions don't matter, all that matters is the way he made her feel. Sebastian's intentions don't matter, all that matters is the way she feels when she with him. She feels good with Kyle because he arouses her, and thoughtlessly giving her his garbage is a memory she will cherish for life. She feels bad with Sebastian because he doesn't arouse her, and if he built her the Taj Mahal, she would say, "Is that it?"
It's not even about Kino and gym, Kyle probably only windsurfs and he just grabbed her boob and kissed her the first time they touched.
NeoSpartan 3y ago
Ah, right I just skimmed it, but yeah actions also are far more telling than words, this is also a good lesson. And everything is subjective, yes. That's just human nature, we all live in our own little worlds. Females have a higher tendency than we do to lean more towards the emotional than the logical.
But does kino not include grabbing boobs and kissing? I guess I've been misusing the term. I was under the impression it just meant arousing them through touch. I dunno about the grabbing boob right away thing though, a slower buildup seems to work better ime, unless whashername was met while she was drunk or w/e at a party or club or some such. Either way tho, if she's not attracted to you, find a new one who is. Def don't be Sebastian.
hannulv 3y ago
Sure. But that is not textbook "properly applied kino" for a first touch. The point is that it doesn't matter that Kyle isn't RP-aware. All that matters is the way he makes Emma feel.
To go off on an autistic tangent, I've wrestled with this concept for years and I now reject it.
Males and females equally self-deceive and use logic primarily as a post-hoc rationalization for the explanation of hindbrain feelings.
The main difference is this. When men get feelz they are filtered though a rigid belief system called the noetic structure. Girls get their feelz filtered far less. Men are more constant and less changeable because if they believe the opposite of the way they feel their brain will quash the feeling. For men and women new ideas always get filtered by the noetic structure. The closer the belief is to the foundation of the structure the more evidence and introspection is needed to alter it. Very foundational beliefs cannot be altered without significant remodeling which can only occur during during severe despair, injury, or with psychotropic drugs.
Men tend to focus on things and ideas and less on interpersonal dynamics. Their noetic structure is always at the forefront. Bob's talking about how a toaster works as Phil's brain strains it for what he believes about, heat, metal, and electricity, etc.
Women are focused on interpersonal dynamics. Their noetic structure operates in a tertiary capacity. They are primarily going with the feeling they are registering in their limbic system, but cross-checking it with what they've heard about Carol and Susie. The feeling takes a primary role, because gossip and self-disclosure can always be wrong.
Men are rigid and idealistic in their beliefs. Women are solipsistic and opportunistic in their beliefs.
For example:
Logic doesn't enter into it. Men are more likely to ignore feelings, believe something false, and get blindsided when it comes to interpersonal dynamics.
NeoSpartan 3y ago
Wew, that was thorough. Yeah agree we all do the post-hoc rationalization stuff, some more than others. I try to be as objective as I can, but don't always succeed.
Are you a psych major or something? Haha, that was a good analysis. Seemed to agree with and be an expansion of what I was attempting to get at re the emotional v logical thing though. To put it simply, men think more like robots, women think more like social animals, there is of course overlap, but we have very differently structured thought processes (noetic structures, you show off ;D) on avg. When you are with them you are each experiencing very different things. That's why learning how to read body language is very important.
Sidenote, you also gave a good explanation as to why debates are pretty pointless endeavors most of the time XD
hannulv 3y ago
I did engineering. I used to believe that men were more logical and more rational. We're not, we're just more rigid and idealistic and have better capabilities for spacial dynamics and abstraction. I had a lot of core religious beliefs that I no longer hold. They were very difficult to let go of because I was so skilled at post-hoc rationalization. It wasn't until I really understood the strong human tendency for self-deception in almost every thought process, that I was really able to separate and alter my thinking.
I think it is much more prevalent than that and is part of every human impulse and decision. Virtually all of our impulses are limbic in origin, and not based on higher cognitive thought. We filter these through training and conditioning, and then through our belief system. Then we decide what to do/believe. The logic and rational parts of the brain aren't engaged in the decision until after we begin to act. Reason is not part of a normal human decision tree. Instead logic functions as the brain's legal and PR department, providing post-hoc rationalizations and justifications for our decision. We find good reasons to do what we've already decided after the fact. We find reasons to continue to believe what we already believe.
This why storytelling is more persuasive than "If not a, then b" rhetoric. A feeling is more likely to alter a belief than a proof. Think of a pure autist who screams when he touches something fuzzy. It's just a broken limbic impulse. But he will go on for an hour giving you reasons why fuzzy things are vile and disgusting. Even though its completely irrational, he will never be convinced that it's not 100% logical to hate fuzz.
NeoSpartan 3y ago
Pathos is definitely more effective than logos at convincing most people and especially women of things, that's for sure.
Sure, that way of thinking may be more accurate, but does it lead to greater happiness and enjoyment in life? I dunno, I find just going with things and not thinking too much to be a better approach to most situations in life. As far as god and existentialism goes, my standard answer nowadays is just "who knows". It doesn't really matter, we have about 80 or so years on this earth, just do what makes you the happiest :D
For me, I like to get deep into whatever activity I'm currently doing and learn about it, git gud, and apply what I've learned. Right now it's women, before that it was various physical activities, before that it was acquiring general knowledge about the world. Still do the latter two, but most of my mental effort is currently being spent on finding out the easiest way to get laid with non-party girls and find the perfect gf. I've had moderate success so far and it gets easier every time :D Once it becomes effortless and I feel I've learned enough I'll find a new thing to dive into.
[deleted] 3y ago
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