The title may be confusing, let me elaborate:
There's me, and my friend, both early 20-ish. He has a cousin (16-17 fuck if I know exactly) that is just godawful. She talks back, and is incredibly rude, to everyone, keeps spending money she doesn't have on shit she doesn't need (as you may have guessed she has no father, left her and her mother a few years back, and her mother's got health issues and can't really work properly). Keeps doing stupid shit to attract attention to herself. She stole her mother's fucking car and drove, but she has no idea how to drive and could have crashed somewhere. They (her and her mother) were getting kicked out of the apartment and my friend's dad offered to take them in for however long they need, she made a fuss that she doesn't want that cause she "won't be able to make parties". Keeps getting into cat fights with random chicks...etc...etc...
The tl;dr is that she's a spoiled fucking brat that keeps doing dangerous shit and I'd like to "fix" her, however much is possible, because clearly she has no father figure in life. No stupid ideas that I will be creating a kind and polite unicorn that's NAWALT, that ship has sailed a long time ago lmao. Just to calm her down a bit before she fucking hurts herself, or someone else in the process.
I am not looking to date/fuck her (as she is fucking 16 and my friend's cousin), so why am I posting this here? Because I figure with a couple of modifications the TRP principles could be applied in this situation, with a hopefully good result.
johnnysmallseed 2y ago
Stop White Knighting. You can't and you wont fix her.
Musicgoon425 2y ago
It's not your job to fix anyone but yourself. If someone is toxic, remove them from your life.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2y ago
Why do you care about this chick? She's not a sexual prospect for you, and it sounds like the only involvement she has in your life is (possibly) living at your friend's house now, the friend whom I assume you visit?
Beyond that she seems like an absolute piece of shit and bat-shit crazy, and seems like she was ruined or never kept in check or both a long time ago.
The only person in this situation who needs to make appropriate decisions here is the friend's dad, but he's not even doing that right if his savior schema is motivating him to let this chaotic disaster into his home
whytehorse2021 2y ago
I wouldn't go out of my way but if someone is behaving like that around me I'll say something.
[deleted] 2y ago
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YourOwnDisaster 2y ago
Distancing yourself from disaster is the best approach to disaster.
Celicni 2y ago
If this was me trying to hookup and seeing this city of red flags I'd be inclined to agree with you. I'm just trying to do a good thing here though, since he's a real good buddy of mine and it sucks seeing this. Anything at all that comes to mind that is not "don't do shit" would be helpful.
YourOwnDisaster 2y ago
I love it. White Knighting at its finest.
As a "Man", you're told to do the right thing and step up when you need to....or even better, Save the girl from herself. Guess what? My answer is still DON'T FUCKING GET INVOLVED. This is not your problem and she obviously has problems deeper rooted than you can probably imagine. If you really truly can't live without stepping in, Suggest to someone close to her that she needs therapy and probably medication...but that's where you should draw the line.
But hey, you're going to do you, right?
Just remember:
Anything you do can and probably will be misconstrued. You leave yourself open to judicial, social and emotional torment. Fuck that.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2y ago
OP, it would be wise to listen to this guy. This girl is what, 16? And has no sense of accountability.
Let's say you're around her when she doing some sketchy/reckless/illegal shit and she gets caught. You think she's gonna own up to it or find the nearest lightning rod to redirect things to?
Probability of "fixing" this chick: zero Probability of getting fucked in the ass a dozen different ways by her antics: fucking higher than zero