So there is this girl i met through work, she is a single mom of Pakistani decent. We work freelance tv production so we cross paths every now and then.
Over the course of our first month working together we would get friendly and somewhat flirty at times (nothing physical). I would playfully tease her and she would text me first about all sorts of things - about her life, my life, she would get excited when we work together and wanted to celebrate my birthday w/ me etc…
Our show went on hiatus for a couple of weeks so we didn’t see each other but i thought about her a lot and developed a crush on her. After not seeing her for those couple of weeks, i worked up the courage and asked her to go hiking because that’s something we both like. However, i didn’t call it a date, perhaps in hindsight i should have. She responded by saying she’s “gonna be busy for the next 4 weeks on a new gig but yea! sounds like fun”.
So about 10 days go by and i get a text from her in the morning saying that some of her stand up comic friends are putting on a comedy show in her backyard and she asked me if i would like come laugh and keep her company. I was thrilled that she invited me to her house but the downside to this was that i began to overthink because i still didn’t know where i stood romantically with her. I thought if she invited me to her house there had to be some level of interest or at least curious.
When i was at her house i played it cool for the most part because she was amongst friends/family so it did not feel like the right place to make a “move” or flirt. She also was not flirtatious at all. I was also very much in my head and nervous which made it difficult to be myself and when you’re watching stand up comedy you really don’t have a lot of opportunity to talk because you're watching the comics. When the night came to a close she mentioned that we should hang out again soon and she also seemed tired so i didn’t want to linger there. So i wound up leaving. I mentally felt bad because i felt my social anxiety made me seem awkward and not myself, but that could just be in my head - nobody said i was awkward.
The next morning she sent me some photos from the night and I texted her saying that i had a great time... but i didn’t get a response back, I do know she was kind of busy that day w/ family stuff so i didn’t sweat it.
A couple of days went by afterwards and i asked her how her week was going. She didn’t respond until the next day. So that day i kind of caved in and asked her out to dinner. She responded by saying that she didn’t realize that when i asked to go for a hike, that i meant it as a date. She then proceeded to say “I'll spare you any unnecessary details. You rock. But i'm looking to date someone who is also a muslim and in recent months i haven't even been doing that. Would truly love to hang out as a friend and i hope this doesn’t make things awkward at all.”
Side question - is that common that Western Pakistani Muslims only date others with the same religion? I honestly didn’t see that one coming. Not sure where she stands with friends with benefits but for serious dating it seems to be only Muslim.
It's been about a month since since we had that text exchange (other than a few facebook interactions). I hate to admit it but over the last month I’ve had an overbearing sense of guilt/regret over this. I know it shouldn’t be that serious. I’ve been wanting to text her lately but I’ve been hesitant. I guess i don't want to potentially push her away even though she said she still wants to hang as friends. Mayby i'm overthinking this. I too still want to hang out as friends because i do value her as being a good friend.
Any one have any experience being rejected for being a non-muslim or any other religion for that matter? Do you think i could still reach out to her and rejuvenate this friendship?