Context: Went to the store to buy a new phone, and got the number from the girl that was helping me. I texted her about 24 hrs later. Wanted to build more rapport before asking her out right away. Below are screenshots of our messages.
So basically up until the very last text things were going great. I maybe could've done a better job with having playful banter, something I'm still working on. She asked if I'm seeing anyone and accepted the date right away, all indicators she's interested. But then suddenly texts me we will be great "friends". Wtf?
Is this her friendzoning me? It makes no sense because aside from that text, she was giving the impression she was interested...or am I missing something? Is it also possible she isn't looking for something serious, and maybe just FWB? Or that I'm overthinking this and it could mean nothing?
I'm thinking about ignoring it, and carrying on per usual. I know once we meet again in person and hang out on the first date I can raise her attraction/interest level. Any advice on how I should proceed or other thoughts is appreciated.
whytehorse2021 4y ago
I did read the messages. You got her comfortable with you before the date. You got the date. It's on like Donkey Kong. Blue pilled women have this whole thing about marrying your best friend. It works in the old system but now the rules have changed. You've established you have asynchronous communication patterns which is good. Now, go on that date and hit a home run. The stage is all set.
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ScubaSteve9000 4y ago
Excellent comment. You're 100% spot on. I think it's a shit test.
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YourOwnDisaster 4y ago
Girls don’t wanna wear the pants, they can’t fit shit in their pockets
I'm stealing this shit right here.
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YourOwnDisaster 4y ago
An extension of them
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MrSmiley8585 4y ago
Good point. Sometimes I have to remind myself to pay attention to their actions, and ignore their words. Thanks man.
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MrSmiley8585 4y ago
She just texted me "To be frank, I took off tomorrow instead of Thursday. So maybe another time". I then teased her and told her I charge a rescheduling fee, and asked her when is she available next. She said she'll be free the 31st.
Not sure why she suddenly canceled. Apparently she works a lot and has little free time. Now with the date being a week away, I'm thinking she might lose interest in that time. If she cancels the 31st I'm going to hard next her. Don't have time for games.
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MrSmiley8585 4y ago
Update: I got her on a date that very night instead. We met up at a park, talked for about an hour and was able to kiss close. I made sure I was the one that ended the date.
I texted her the next day (perhaps a mistake, but oh well). She then asks for me to send her nudes. Was this a shit test? I told her she is naughty, sent her a shirtless pic of me instead, and told her that's all she gets. I may have fell into her frame by doing so, but figured it might increase my odds of fucking her if she sees what she has a chance to get (not to brag, but I've got a good physique).
She then replies "Well that's nice...so are you a virgin?" I told her "no" but now realize I probably shouldn't had given her a straight answer. Did I totally fuck up? And how should I proceed going forward?
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MrSmiley8585 4y ago
It was definitely weird and wasn't expecting it. For context, she texted me and told me she was enjoying a drink, and I teased her and asked why she didn't offer me one. She then said "Send nudes and maybe I will".
She then asked if I'm a vigin. I have no idea why she asked this, I'm 35 y/o (she knows this) and definitely not unattractive. So I'm a little insulted she would think I might be a virgin (because I'm not), but I didn't act butthurt. Could've been a shit test.
She didn't say whether she is a virgin or not. She is 23 y/o and I assume she isn't.
I did move on from the topic and will hit her up later to set up another date. Thanks for the feedback.
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placer 4y ago
Pay attention to actions and not her words. Rescheduling is a big huge red flag to next her and move on. It may not be fatal -- I have had girls who kept delaying (but, as it turns out, never cancelling plans with me -- it was a genuine logistics issue on their side) turn around and text me out of the blue that they wanted to see me, and then sleep with me -- but I wouldn’t give her very much attention until she turns out and concentrate on other girls.
As an aside, I have stayed friends with some of the ladies who suddenly were really busy with work, seeing the dentist (one had the audacity to say she was seeing a dentist on Sunday to cancel a get together, in a country where dentists are closed on Sunday), etc. They end up being unhappy cat ladies decades later after they hit the wall. So, it’s not you: Some girls just don’t want to get in to a relationship.
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placer 4y ago
These ladies, by and large, weren’t having short term sexual relationships, and they weren’t having long term relationships either. They just weren’t that much in to guys. Well, except as friends.
There was one exception, but she would only have sex with a condom on, and I can’t stand being covered, which is why I go exclusively for LTRs.
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placer 4y ago
Correct. The Red Pill is about self improvement; “spinning plates” doesn’t necessarily mean having sex with multiple girls. It simply means having options open and avoiding oneitis, even when in a relationship. It means having abundance so one can let go and break off all contact if a girl starts causing trouble (I still have a list of “never contact this girl” girls who I block every time I open up a new social media account).
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placer 4y ago
Yep. I screwed things up so badly in my blue pill days that I have a list of women who I am never to contact again. Mind you, this is all before social media or when social media meant MySpace (Since I live the family life these days, any advice I give may be outdated, but I try to give advice because I do not want any other man to suffer the emotional pain I felt in my blue pill days).
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placer 4y ago
The point is that I do not contact any of those ladies from my blue pill days in any way, shape, or form. In terms of the cat ladies, the point here is to not take it personally just because I could not escalate with them. Some women just do not want to get in to a relationship.
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placer 4y ago
My thought: Texting should only be for logistics. Especially with beginners, texting should not be about establishing banter, or having long stream of consciousness conversations with girls. It should be about "let's me here, at this time and this place", and little more. If she says yes, great, if not move on to the next girl (or, get back to the girl when she finally says yes).
MrSmiley8585 4y ago
I've tried this in the past and would have no success. I would ask them out straight away and would never be able to land a date. So thought I would try to have a few messages back in forth and build more rapport before asking her out.
I still kept the conversation brief, and now that I've got the date set up I'm going radio silent until the date, unless she texts me.
placer 4y ago
Observing that you stuck out with this girl (trust me, when a girl is suddenly busy after making plans to see you, it’s a strike out), and observing you haven’t been able to pull girls using the standard “Hey, let’s get together” soon after starting to text, I’m thinking that it may help to read the basics, such as the Book of Pook and the Red Pill Sidebar. These books are available as free PDFs here:
https://theredarchive.com/
It’s important, in today’s society, to build attraction and become someone attractive to ladies.
Some stuff that helped with me: I had a couple “friend zone” ladies help me with my dating issues before I found my wife. I actually find having girls in the friend zone helpful, since it is possible to have a genuine friendship without a sexual connection, and since I like seeing what happened to those girls who I didn’t get to bang: By and large, they became cat ladies, except for this really pretty one who was incredibly touchy feely with me who I didn’t escalate with only because I was in an LTR; [1] she is now a happy mother with a beautiful baby. I changed dating sites/apps multiple times to get as many potential dates as possible. I was going to the gym multiple times a week.
Also, even doing everything right, it was a huge funnel: I would get about 1 face-to-face date per 30-40 or so matches. Internet dating is a huge numbers game.
[1] Long term relationship
MrSmiley8585 4y ago
Actually I didn't strike out. I got her to meet up with me that same night instead. We met at a park, talked and hung out for an hour, and was able to kiss close.