Video game fans, the report button won't resolve your cognitive dissonance.

[deleted]

This is such an interesting topic I have been obsessed about for a couple of weeks. I’ve been mindful of decreasing instant gratification and increasing delayed gratification. I’ve slipped up a bunch of times but generally went in the right direction. My mental space is much better and I’m beginning to get positive thoughts about progressing life instead of overthinking about how depressing life is.

Imagine your wellbeing and happiness plotted on a graph. Instant gratification give little bumps of happiness but straight after you do it your baseline happiness gets lowered slightly. Whereas with delayed gratification your happiness probably drops a little when you do it because it’s uncomfortable to make your muscles sore and do hard work. But after you have done it (and even whilst doing it tbh) your baseline happiness goes up.

Now imagine making this change for months. I am feeling so damn certain that this is the cure for depression and it can literally be reduced down to stopping gaming and phone time and increasing exercise and hard work. It’s what our fathers told us all along. Fuck. Life changing shit if you do it right.

this is awesomse. people always shit on the red pill but its posts like this that keep me here

I can vouch for you from a military perspective that I do not think you are missing out on much. I joined the Marine Corps late. Enlisted at 26 years old in hopes of starting a new life just like many others. It has the best and worst people you will ever meet. It is sad to say that I am disappointed but that does not mean I am not making the best of my situation. But, I guess I am writing to you to sway any regret you may have not joining the military because whether you had joined or not, it would have been the same thing: Life is what you make it.

I think an important thing is that things like jerking off or getting some minor gratification can be like the pressure valve releasing some steam. The problem is that human beings are machines and we cannot work tirelessly without some form of reward unless you want the Shining to happen.

The reality is that unless you are some autistic psychopath who can work tirelessly without hits of dopamine you will drive yourself crazy and there needs to be a healthy balance and moderation between doing hard work that needs to be done and fucking a fleshlight.

What I have found is that our culture is is inundated with bullshit that it almost becomes impossible to make an informed decision about what is a healthy behaviour. Ie we like sweets because its a hit of dopamine and then no one teaches us moderation and infact eating garbage food is encouraged even in psy-ops where people say you can eat ramen all the time and get a college degree or just drink coffee and smoke and you will be fine... um no not thats not how it works unless you want to train yourself to be a slave.

I've gotten to a point where I buy shit like real monkfruit extract and then put it in water with lemon juice. Monkfruit extract is sweet but not in the way you normally would be conditioned to like sweet things. To me the real powder tastes like burnt honey and wood. If you want it from a health food store i recomend the liquid drops because sugar alcohols they put in other monkfruit is still bad for you.

Now my point with monkfruit or eating real foods/additives like cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves, lime juice, lemons etc. This stuff is relatively inexpensive and you can add it to your food and water to not only act as a stimulant but also an appetite supressant that keeps you satitated longer. Shit like sugar or even stevia or sucralose bombard your brain receptors and give an addiction response where you need more and more and dont feel satisfied and just live for a craving.

Stuff like monk fruit or cinnamon or 90% dark chocolate will keep you satiated for long periods of time without the jolts and crashes and addiction cycles that keep so many people going into a pit of misery and despair where all they live for is consuming.

Solid post. Instant gratification is a struggle for many. Discipline helps to overcome this struggle but ultimately we only have so much willpower,which makes balance important. For me I’ll go months without excessive female contact ( some call it monk mode ) , but tbh it’s not deliberate . At such times I’m simply just ultra focused on my goals . Then for a month or less I’ll take a break , hit up dating apps ... socialize more and get a few lays in , then I’m right back to focusing on my goals for a few more months. The same applies with my diet... I’ll eat clean for a prolonged amount of time. Then when I get that itch I’ll watch my intake but I’ll include a few cheats here and there. Then I go back to eating strictly clean. All that being said never giving into instant gratification can be really hard if not impossible, but if you give yourself some leeway here and there , in the long term you are more likely to stick to your goals and your progress will trend positively.

Thank you for this. The fight against delayed gratification is never ending. Last month, I was able to sell many PS4’s in my area (I purchased them knowing that there would be a shortage). I each one for a $50 profit... except for one.

I gave in to immediate gratification and played video games. After a few weeks I realized that I’d lost gains and a shitload of time. I sold that PS4 and haven’t looked back.

Delayed gratification will sneak up on you if you let it.

Great post.

When you get an urge to have instant gratification of any sort, whether it be porn, food anything taking you further away from your goals, simply, just simply let yourself know that it is merely not an option.

Man I am abstaining from porn and masturbation for about 6 month now, but my sexual drive is making me crazy. I am a 28 y/o man, virgin, and all I can think about is sex. You guys might suggest to just hook up with a girl, but I never did it, so this feels pretty far away too me. It feels great to not be a slave to porn anymore, but at the same time I feel like I became way more "thirsty".

Great post :) I'm no longer religious but I've been observing Ramadan (no water, food, gum etc from sunrise to sunset) and it's working WONDERS for discipline. Considering I'm in school and still swamped by work, things get kinda slow in my head at around 90 mins before sunset. I've noticed that nothing tastes better than the first bite of food and sip of water, no matter how shitty my cooking is.

Would definitely recommend everyone try it for 2-3 days and see what it does for you (you'll have to watch everyone around you eat, drink, smoke freely and have the balls to say no to yourself and others).

This may be the most important lesson on here. Look up the marshmallow study.

As a 34 year old man I curse my 21 year old self. I had ample opportunity to be in the military.. to study hard.. to lift weights earlier.. to be much more successful earlier on. But no, I pissed my early and mid 20s away with video games, marijuana and porn.

I'm about to become 32 years old and I feel you, but let me tell you something. You wouldn't be whoever you are right now without all those experiences. Maybe you would be more successful, but maybe not. Maybe you needed all those failures in order to find your path, to learn your lessons.

In my case, I know for sure that right now I would be a worse person. Without all my past mistakes I wouldn't be where I am right now. Learn from the bad, and it will be good.

But yeah man I agree, easy dopamine fucks you up.

We see in movies that changing anything in the past can create a new future. But we never think that changing anything in our present will also create a new future.

Great post. Although I've reached a fair bit of success in life, I still struggle with this. You are absolutely right, and I am certain that those who master their self-control will live more fulfilling lives.

Also within relationships men start relying on their women for hits of dopamine. Terrible mistake, of course enjoy your time with her but do not chase her for that hit. Acknowledge that you are craving attention, sex, or whatever for that good feeling and let it pass.

Great post. For those questioning the importance of delayed gratification, look up compound interest.

Dopamine detox is the greatest thing you can ever do.

​

Work your ass off with 1 hour of "boring" work/labor/chores/non-entertainment. Reward yourself just 15 min as reward at the end of the day.

​

​

Been doing this for 2 weeks now and life is literally just throwing blessing my way every day. Literally begging me to grab her by the pussy.

What to do if i have anxiety that stops ke from getting boners

Of course you can find a rοute in between the ends. The wise man keeps himself content (Instant Gratification), while he can make plans for the future. Else (delate gratification) he will become a robot that works and never pleases himself and when he will be rich (if he don't commit suicide) he can't be happy with his millions. Because he doesn't remember how is it to be happy.

I’ve always noticed a district hate for video games here. I’m pretty sure it’s just people trying to show off hyper masculinity, but either way don’t listen to these idiots. You can have whatever hobbies you want and go about your routine however you want as long as you find a way to make it work for you. If you strictly followed what this guy is saying in his post, then you will just be living by his standards. Not your own. Create your own frame because I’m tired of seeing people trying to mold into other peoples frames. It’s never alpha or impressive to just completely follow someone else’s footsteps, find your own way in your journey too

In short, OP is talking about dopamine. And yes, I agree 100% with his point.

[deleted]

The best and most long lasting happiness is freedom - it's not even happiness as you know it, but freedom from the incessant itch to find happiness all the time. The more you can access that, the more you can achieve with your time and energy.

Instant gratification will make you depressed long run, because the more you seek it the more you indirectly tell yourself you aren't really happy, and so it is.

Discipline is a type of superpower.

Due to the fact in life, you may stumble into any type of troubles.

Discipline help you avoid these troubles all together so you don’t waste time to get out of it. Discipline promotes planning ahead, strategically think what is the best practices without actual commitment and the cost. Only true cost is your time to think, plan, and discover.

Some thing in life you have to do it to find out (mostly illegal, require network, or cost a lot of money to get into) but most things are fluff and just a superficially wants your money to provide that Instant Gratification (IG)

Discipline net you a little advantage of time, with careful planning and diligence, your tiny advantage will turn the tide and set sail your life boat into totally different direction. That most people would only dream of, and perhaps they are willing to die for it.

They are not willing to put in the work. They want that IG “deus ex machina” to make them instantly “____(anything)____”

That is why there is a entire industry provide people with fake dreams that they can get that IG if they willing to pay. It is all fluff (social media, Tinder, fast food, fast fashion, Netflix, weed, pay day loan, stock inside news and options, and casino entertainments)

But again, live a discipline life is hardcore, you choose daily small pain (fix the habit) or long major pain (being unsuccessful).

Use Warm water cook the frog.

Dopamine precedes pleasure.Source: https://thebrain.mcgill.ca/flash/a/a_03/a_03_m/a_03_m_que/a_03_m_que.html

This resonates with me personally as I make it a point to limit instant gratification in life.

-Cut out porn from my life, I reward myself with one video of choice every 90 days. I have successfully done this for a year and am currently on day 57...again. For reference I used to nut to porn about 2-3 times a day for YEARS.

-Currently on day 20 of my one month T-break from weed. I usually smoke about an eighth and take two weeks off. Friends and co-works scoff at this and tell me they smoke a quarter a week. Unbelievable too me. For reference I used to smoke daily for about two years.

-Lift and have a very clean diet for over a year now

• Drink ONE 24oz light beer 2-3 times a week.

-Last but not least is gaming. Now, gaming is and always has been my actual hobby. I am 23 but spend most of my time playing retro games from the 70's-90's. I see them as more of an art than todays non-sense run and gun mindless level up grind. Now I used to have no problem playing for 4+ hours a day but than since I picked up a guitar and lift daily and read I can only play for an hour a day. It makes the experience much more rewarding, like I deserve it.

You must begin disciplining yourself while you are young men. Otherwise you will have created bad habits that resonate with you for prolonged periods of life. If I can do it than you guys definitely can.

If anybody is really struggling with self-discipline, the military isn't a bad route to take, even if you just go in as a reservist. Nothing teaches you discipline better than good old boot camp. Lots of other practical opportunities arise from military service as well, like a significant increase in marketability to potential employers, networking, valuable skills (depending on your MOS), financial aid for higher education, etc.

Much better, more constructive stuff than bullshit “field reports”, those have their place too, but this type of thing should be the brunt of rp content

For those who would like less motivational fluff and more analysis, try this.

Absolutely love this writing. Scope is narrow, but digs deep!!! Very profound

One of my favorite quotes from Jordan Peterson: “The successful among us delay gratification. The successful among us bargain with the future.”

We need a way to inject dopamine to get our fix, giving us more time to build a business

Such a good post. I don't have much meaningful to add right now, but leaving a comment to look at it later as well.

a mans worst enemy is thinking he has to do all that hard shit just to be accepted by society. do what makes you happy, fuck the rat race.

I think it's important to remember that success is what you define it as, it's relative to the person. Success for one person might mean being a millionaire, whereas for another it might mean living a well travelled and interesting life.

Doesn't matter what your version of success is, what's important is that you chase it 100%.

Beautiful post. I like posts that make you think. I'd like to add my 2c about the "future self" to talk to.

How far in the future should that future self be?

Bill gates said "Most people overestimate what they can do in one year and underestimate what they can do in ten years."

Myself from next summer for not overeating and myself from 2030 for work achievements?

I'll expand a little bit on this idea. Easy dopamine destroys your brain's ability to take on "hard" or "boring" tasks, i.e. getting into deep thought for a couple hours to study or work on a problem, going for a long run in the cold.

If you are constantly distracted by your phone, play video games, have a shit diet, a dopamine fast is a good way to reset things and get you on a good productive groove. Search youtube for "dopamine fast" and you'll find a lot of videos going into depth about this technique.

The theory behind TRP's monk mode (a briefperiod of intense self discipline where you eliminate all distractions and focus solely on becoming a respectable human being) is likely based on the idea of eliminating easy dopamine sources. By knowing what dopamine is and what triggers it, you can produce some really crazy results for yourself.