"Mistakes were made (but not by me)" "Why we justify foolish beliefs, bad decisions and hurtful acts." Written by Carol Tavris and Elliot Aronson
A passage in this book I am currently reading shows a real life feminist evaluating her life and coming to an uncomfortable conclusion. I hope some here will find some interest.
(Not sure this belongs here, if it is more appropriate for a different sub please let me know.)
Page 237, paragraph 2, beginning at line 4, word 10
"At the age of sixty-five, the feminist writer and activist Vivian Gornick wrote a dazzlingly honest essay about her lifelong efforts to balance work and love and lead a life based on exemplary egalitarian principles in both arenas. "I'd written often about living alone because I couldn't figure out why I was living alone" she wrote. For years her answer, the answer of so many in her generation, was sexism: Patriarchal men were forcing strong, independent women to choose between their careers and their relationships.
That answer isn't wrong; sexism has sunk many marriages and shot holes through countless others that are barely afloat. But today Gornick realizes that it was not the full answer. Looking back, without the comfort of her familiar self-justifications, she was able to see her own role in determining the course of her relationships, realizing "that much of my loneliness was self-inflected, having more to do with my angry, self-divided personality than with sexism"
"The reality was" she wrote "that I was alone not because of my politics but because I did not know how to live in a decent way with another human being. In the name of equality I tormented every man who'd ever loved me until he left me: I called them on everything, never let anything go, held them up to accountability in ways that wearied us both.
There was, of course, more than a grain of truth in everything I said, but those grains, no matter how numerous, need not have become the sandpile that crushed the life out of love".

warlordchad 6y ago
Wow—she basically spelled out what’s wrong with American women. They’re taught to be domineering bitches who are uncaring, lack compassion, and entitled beyond belief.
Don’t get married, don’t get married, don’t get married...
BurnoutRS 6y ago
"In the end, feminism was my patriarchy"
nobody_thinks 6y ago
I'm sure this applies to a lot of guys with "red pill rage".
p3n1x 6y ago
Old Cliche': You can't care for someone else until you care for yourself.
And they spread/share their misery like wildfire because, how dare someone else be happy?
monsieurhire2 6y ago
Absolutely, they spread it. Misery loves company.
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Imperator_Red 6y ago
Wtf is this? Learn how to write.
yeahmaybe2 6y ago
The following is what I wrote:
A passage in this book I am currently reading shows a real life feminist evaluating her life and coming to an uncomfortable conclusion. I hope some here will find some interest.
(Not sure this belongs here, if it is more appropriate for a different sub please let me know.)
Page 237, paragraph 2, beginning at line 4, word 10
Everything else was written by the authors of the book,
CAROL TAVRIS is a social psychologist, lecturer, and writer. Her books include Anger and The Mismeasure of Woman. She has written op-eds, reviews, and articles for the Los Angeles Times, the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, the Times Literary Supplement, and many other publications. She lives in Los Angeles.
ELLIOT ARONSON, one of the world's most eminent social psychologists, has received numerous awards for his scientific research, teaching, and writing. His books include The Social Animal, Nobody Left to Hate, and his memoir, Not by Chance Alone. He lives in Santa Cruz, California.
I believe these two know a bit more about good writing than you.
However, if you have an issue with the little I did write, please let me know how to improve it.
Thanks!
PrincetonNarcissist 6y ago
I think he means by putting the book title without quotations at the beginning of your post and not writing "written by" or something when putting the authors, it's a bit confusing what your actually saying. A better form would be:
​
"Mistakes were made (but not by me): Why we justify foolish beliefs, bad decisions and hurtful acts. Written by Carol Tavris and Elliot Aronson." h.t.h
yeahmaybe2 6y ago
You are correct, I see that flaw in my post.
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