Summary- I went on a spontaneous date with a 28, fit HB6 from bumble. I was giving her tingles and escalating while holding frame, just to throw it all away in 1 minute by losing frame.

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Starting out wrong-

I matched with this chick a little over a month ago on bumble. We sent a few messages back and forth but I didn't ask for a date because I was booked for the next few days and would be leaving town for 2 weeks. 230pm, yesterday she messages me out of nowhere with the plain old "how are you?" Within a couple messages she told me she was just chilling at home so I jumped on the opening, "Let's meet up for a drink then". A few messages about logistics and we had plans to meet in an hour at a hip, quiet little bar.

I had been reading TRP guides and posts for a couple hours before she sent me the first message. My brain was in information consumption mode and I didn't realize it. As someone who has had to really make an effort to be more social and outgoing, this is poison for my opening game. I got there just before her and when she sat down next to me all I could say was "hi". I didn't realize until that moment that I had not prepped myself mentally to be around people. I froze in a way that hasn't happened to me since I first started having success gaming. She immediately felt uncomfortable and I started to fidget with my sunglasses that were on the bar. My awkwardness and visual discomfort just made it worse. What the fuck was happening to me? Where is the witty opening that usually rolls out of my mouth?

Thankfully after about 5-10 seconds of this discomfort she opened the conversation. I immediately quieted the noise in my head ripping apart my own frame. Now that the ice was broken I was good. We talked about some pretty bland stuff, like beer (she works at a brewery and we were drinking craft beer), cool bars in town (Im fairly new to the city), and other boring stuff. I could tell she was at least physically attracted to me, but I wasn't doing anything to stimulate her emotions. At least I was building some rapport. It was certainly not my best first impression, but her physical attraction to me gave me some wiggle room.

As we were both finishing our first beer and the bartender came to us, I just asked for a check. The girl had a slightly concerned look on her face. I waited a few seconds to let her wonder if this was the end, then asked "are you down for another? Let's check out that place around the corner that you were just telling me about." This made her smile.

When the check came, it was both drinks, on one check. I hesitated a moment, then said fuck it and just handed my card to the bartender. She shuffled through her small purse for something and I said "7 bucks will cover it" She looked at me like dafuq? and handed me some money. This definitely could have been done in a less spergy way.

Building attraction/feelz

As we were walking to the next place the conversation was getting better. My game was starting to wake up a little bit. At the next venue I was on point. I was giving her false disqualifications, negging, etc. I started with a little kino, just touching her shoulder for a second when saying something,etc. I started seeing that shift in her immediately once my game came out of hiding. Feelz were being achieved. One of the best ones was when she was showing me pictures on her phone of her dog and pictures of her at a wedding. I just said "Jeez you aren't very photgenic. You're way sexier in person", "whhhaaaatt?! Everyone always tells me I'm so photogenic though!", "Yeah, I mean you have the smile and poses locked down, it's just the awkward looking chick in the pictures doesn't match the sexpot sitting in front of me"

As we finished our drinks I asked for another check. I just paid for this one. Then I grabbed her hand and led her outside. We walk around the city for 20 minutes or so while I keep upping the kino a little by grabbing her hand or putting my hand on the small of her back, and then taking it away and acting uninterested. I keep a CF frame and get her giggling quite a bit. A couple time when I would throw a false disqualification her way there would be an exchange where she would say something like "If you aren't into blondes then why are you on a date with me?" "I don't know, we should probably just end it" Then she would say "ok bye" and I would say the same back. Then she would stop, then quickly just catch up with me.

I tell her let's get 1 final drink. Instead of asking where we were going, she asks if I want to go to x bar. I oblige her. There was more basic game stuff at the bar. Some kino, CF, setting a dominant frame. Nothing worth note though.

Escalating, logistics and losing frame

When we got done there I said, let's just go for a walk. I was about a mile from my car and said we would just walk in that general direction so that I wasn't too far from it. I found out that she walked to the date. Perfect, I can offer a ride home then ask to meet her dog that she talked so much about once I get there. Not long after we started walking, while continuing to slowly escalate the kino, we stopped at a little park area and sat on a bench. I put my hand on the side of her head and brought her in for a kiss. Just a few easy slow kisses, then immediately went back into talking like nothing happened. She is now touching me pretty much non-stop and I go for another kiss, this time grabbing the hair on the back of her head and giving her a good tongue fucking. We make out for a bit then I pull her off the bench and we start walking.

As we kept walking we would stop every couple minutes to look at something, then just start making out. I was squeezing her ass and picked her up and spun her around, just escalating and giving her feelz. The more we made out the more she was poking at my dominant frame with things she would say, but I held strong. We were almost to my car and I was just about to ask her if I could give her a ride when she said "can we go in there and get ooooonne more drink?" It was a chill upscale place with couches and good places to lounge. "sure, let's do it" As we were almost at the door she started to say something "why don't we just go.... oh nevermind"

I am fairly certain she was about to tell me to come to her place, but didn't finish. When we sat down I went to use the bathroom. When I got back and sat down she was looking at the cocktail menu and said "I don't think I'm going to drink anything" "Really? Well let's leave then" "No, you can have a drink I'll just have water" "Nah fuck that" And I grabbed her hand and took her outside. Boom, her demeanor changed completely. With a smile on my face I said "I can't believe you brought me in there just to NOT have a drink, I don't know if I still like you" Then she said "Ok then, bye" and slowly started to turn around. Me- "Ok bye!" and I turned around and started walking to my car, thinking she would just walk towards me and submit to the frame I thought I still had (which I didn't).

Next thing I know I'm at my car. I get in and drive up the road we were just on to see If I can see her, nothing. I pull out my phone and send a message "where did you go?" "I'm home, you left me" In a stupid, thirsty, last ditch effort I said "let me come meet your dog" "not today love" and that was the last communication we have had. The date started at 330pm, and by 7pm I went from minor physical attraction to feelz and a wet pussy, then all the way back round to nothing. Luckily on of my plates sent me a pussy pic and a message saying "I need you, tonight" while I was on my date, so at least I didn't have to dwell on my failure immediately after.

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Lessons Learned/Ways I Fucked Up-

I need to prepare before a date by getting myself in a social mood, or at least go over some good ice breakers and feelz inducing conversation threads beforehand. As far as I have come in game, there is still a spergy antisocial loner that will come out if I don't actively keep him at bay.
Tingles can go away in an instant. Not so much by being awkward, or saying something stupid, but by losing frame. I have made so many mistakes with women but they don't affect shit if you have a solid frame.
I need to resist the urge to go for the last ditch effort fuck salvage. If I exercised patience after my fuck up I could have given the hamster room to run on it's wheel. Instead I showed thirst by sending a message essentially saying "I value your pussy so much can I have" giving her validation and sticking a fork in any bit of my frame that was still intact.
Lead the interaction and don't stop. I had been leading the whole date and she loved it. Even when she chose the 3rd bar for us to go to, I was leading, she just chose where we would go. It was my idea to go to another bar, i just let her contribute. With the final place, the activity was her idea. When I let her lead the date, she decided that she didn't really want what she thought she did. Then I made it worse by worrying about her. She didn't want to drink and I instantly went into supplicating beta mode by leaving the venue signalling a "let me please you" frame that was in-congruent to the frame I had built for us. This crumbled my dominant leading frame which instantly turned her off.
Things like placing blame and accusations as I did before we parted ways can be strong game tools, but they can also backfire if you don't use them at the right time. It should be a way to break rapport when escalating and inducing tingles, not as a way to try to recover frame. It was the icing on the cake on a short string of missteps.

Permalink

ItzClobberinTime 7y ago

After the 2nd bar you should of just had a drink at hers or yours. Any excuse you could of said you forgot to turn your oven off and it would of worked lol.

[deleted] 7y ago

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ItzClobberinTime 7y ago

Its hard to balance being a arsehole and being a dick head with girls. Inviting her over is arsehole which is cool. Asking for nudes is dick head which is not cool.

Its not easy thats just one example.

RightHandWolf 7y ago

Nowadays, lots of people are hesitant when the check comes. Guys don't rip out the card or cash because they worry about being seen as a beta provider at best, or some sort of retrograde Neanderthalic specimen hell-bent on perpetuating the patriarchy.

Girls are walking a tightrope as well. If they let the guy pick up the tab, they worry about "sending mixed signals" or start wondering about the dreaded covert contract. But if they're too insistent about splitting the check they worry about coming across as some sort of militant 7th wave feminist that don't need no man.

My solution would have been to pick up the tab at the first place, and when she started going through the motions of coughing up some cash, I would've just said she can get the next round.

ItzClobberinTime 7y ago

Honestly i use to be like girl pays for her self ect. But recently as i got older i think that if you like your friend just buy them a drink and get them to get the next one because at the end of the day your friends untill you fuck.

If she doesnt buy the next one thats a serious red flag for me because then your not friends and shes either looking for a bf or trying to use you. But if she is looking for a bf i dont want a selfish gf so win , win for me.

Startlivingfornow 7y ago

She was already in your frame. Last ok bye was her seeing if you liked her enough to chase even a little bit. It wasn’t important in the overall sense, but more her not feeling like a slut.

Easy lead by grabbing her around the waist and simply doing what you were going to do.

Remember the time of the interaction can dictate how you should act.

Is it a shit test or a comfort test

pacjax 7y ago

I have been watching so much alpha male strategies I am too afraid to set dates right away I will literally pretend im busy just to set a date a week ahead

ItzClobberinTime 7y ago

Remember its a flexable game every girls different

allrandomworldnews 7y ago

Go ask yourself what you would do if the girl told you “i dont like you anymore“ and walked away.

Because that is the shit you need to stop doing. Telling her to fuck off and walking away will never work!

H0tTamal3 7y ago

It depends on context. It has worked very well for me in the past, I just applied it wrong here.

I know when I was more of a beta, if a chick said that with a smile and twirled around playfully, it would make me chase her. I just royally fucked it up this time because of my timing and delivery.

ZR1987 7y ago

Good post! A lot of people here giving OP shit though. The whole point of these write ups is to detail out mistakes you have made and pass on to others. OP's self awareness and candid story should be appreciated. Thank you for sharing! Seems like you already know where you went wrong. I have similar qualities myself I have to deal with.

ArdAtak 7y ago

Don't make bluffs or give untimatums you're not prepared to follow up on. You could have took one step and grabbed her from behind. That would have been the proper timing for push-pull AND gave her the feelz. You could have closed this EAZY. You went a bit autistic.

addwater 6y ago

Idk something tells me OP was fucked through out the start, middle and end

I don't think at any point she was truly invested in you to just walk away like that

H0tTamal3 7y ago

Yeah that would have been much better. The whole last few minutes were just a complete shitshow. It was probably the worst autist moment I've had on a date since I started this journey. It's not like I really cared about losing a chance at a lay with an average bumble ho, it was more just that I lost the game in a pretty pathetic way that got to me.

fds_1 7y ago

To quote House:"Never threaten unless you're ready to deliver. Makes you look weak."

[deleted] 7y ago

[deleted]

120

MeansToABenz 7y ago

Hilarious name @u/H0tTamal3. We are all victims of getting in our heads too much fo’ real. Good field report, I enjoy the details. Don’t let these guys stop you from doing you or expressing how you did you.

H0tTamal3 7y ago

It's from the candies hot tamales. It's a good reminder to me of where I was before taking the red pill and lifting/eating right. I can't forget about being a grown ass man sitting in front of my computer for hours eating multiple boxes of hot tamales, playing zombies, and intermittently fapping. How far I have come in such a short period of time. I can't wait to see where I will be 5 years from now.

I don't let the negativity get to me. One comment from an EC giving solid, actionable advice is worth reading 100 negative comments.

TheGillos 7y ago

You mean you don't have a tactical playbook and canned lines for every encounter? Wtf?

If I don't know the angle I'm going to run my hand across her arm to signify a move from phase 3 kino to phase 3.1 I'm fucking LOST!

It's 52 degrees btw. Not straight, but with enough surface area to denote attraction, still random enough to hide pre calculation. Do not do 90 or 45. It comes off 50-60% more robotic.

Onein1024th 7y ago

It comes off 50-60% more robotic.

dude, you're killing me with this

Carra23 7y ago

Uh yeah? We all are right? It’s why we’re here, cause when we’re not in our heads thinking about what we’ve learned we turn into weird antisocial loner loser betas.

This stuff doesn’t come naturally to me, I can pull it off but I have to think carefully to make sure the mask doesn’t slip.

INNASKILLZ2K18 6y ago

No. We are not all like this. If you're really a beta playacting a mask, you're not getting it.

It's a process of internalization. You become 'that guy'.

Become value, create options, adjust behaviours and mentalities until it's who you are.

juddshanks 7y ago

100% this.

The level of anxiety and the methodical 'ok, now kino, now negging, now more kino' descriptions made me feel exhausted just reading it.

I think the best and simplest advice you can give someone for a first date is just focus on having fun, and be prepared to call it a night when it stops being fun.

If you're physically attractive and having fun, chances are they'll be having fun being around with you. And if they're having fun, they'll probably go along with whatever you suggest.

If there's an obvious point where you can physically escalate, sure take it, but you don't have to, and if you treat a date like a complicated programming script where the right inputs = sex, and anything other than sex = failed night, you're going to spend the whole night stressing, appear awkward and probably end up failing, and drag things way past the point where they are remotely fun for either her or you.

If you go home alone from a first date and leave her having had a great time, feeling physically attracted to you and disappointed things didn't go further, congratulations, you're in the box seat and can pretty much turn the next date into a 5 minute drink at yours followed by fucking whilst you don't watch a movie.

Keep it simple, avoid complicated formulas and do a lot of it, and you'll get good at it and stop overthinking things.

H0tTamal3 7y ago

I think a lot of you guys are taking something from my FR that I didn't mean to put in it. It's not like I constantly have all of this chatter going on in my head the whole date. Sure I can get in my head too much sometimes, but it's not like I'm trying to break the whole interaction down into formulas in the moment. Some strategic thoughts might come here or there, but they are infrequent and they become less every time. This date was just spontaneous and I was already in an introspective place when we made the date. I just get hardcore analytical after the date/encounter/whatever because that's how I learn and that is how I've gone from 0 pussy to a full rotation in a few months. If I wasn't such a sperg, I wouldn't need TRP at 32 to have casual sex. This was by far the spergiest I've been on a date since finding TRP, and that's why I thought it was important for me to post it.

I really like what you're saying about not forcing the f close. I think that's a big part of my success thus far, patience. In this instance it was a chick I didn't put much value on and part of me just wanted to experiment a little and try to push for the SDL because it almost always takes me 2 or 3. I know exactly what you mean though about it giving you the box seat on subsequent meetups. Showing restraint is sexy and shows abundance.

INNASKILLZ2K18 6y ago

I can do this, too.

It's a habit I force myself to stop. I mean, being aware of the big takeaways are important, but over-analyzing everything is just wasted energy for me.

I be aware of the major things. The rest that happens I need to leave up to the moment. Outcome independence.

Also, there is the process of learning, eventually things become unconscious competence.

I get it though. Sometimes it's like looking in the rear view mirror and noticing 'oh, that's what happened there'.

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YourZenemy 7y ago

If this truly went as you've said, you did well.

The beginning was a negligible mistake that was patched up immediately.

Like I said in a comment response, losing frame at the 'one last drink' is where shit flipped. You're right, it really does take 1.4 seconds to dry a pussy.

There's a million ways this could have ended up but I'm glad you reflected, realized what you could've done better, and got input from your brudders from udder mudders.

Kinda want an update on your relationship with this chick though.

bsutansalt 7y ago

Remember that mistakes are opportunities to learn and improve yourself. As long as you capitalize then nothing is wasted.

Sometimes in life the learning opportunities we gain from botching things ends up being a better deal/reward/achievement than the original thing you were going after.

snoom101 7y ago

Not only this, mistakes are ultimately more valuable than most success stories; there's usually a more powerful message there. It's why stories/videos of failure pique our interest more than success, we learn how to avoid pain and also have an opportunity to experience empathy for those that failed. Success can sometimes lead to complacency whereas failure is so visceral it almost feels as though it hurts us physically and we'll often go out of our way to avoid that discomfort.

farminggil 7y ago

It’s awesome you’re trying and staying strong, but you’re overthinking your encounters. You need raw confidence acquired through lifting, meditation, and experience. If you can fix that you’ll be alright. Just stop trying to logically objectify your encounters in the moment. It causes you to focus on your game plan and pull your focus off of making her wet.

Keep trying and stop overthinking.

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Churff 7y ago

Can you elaborate on the meditation part?

farminggil 7y ago

Basic meditation (focused breathing) has been shown to increase mindfulness: which is your ability to be aware in the true present. It is a natural counteraction to anxiety, which IMO, is what OPs failure’s root cause is.

If you’re interested, read a book on meditation and do it for 5 to 15 mins every day. You will see a difference.

Rob345678 7y ago

Bro you did well up until that last scenario..her pussy was already wet..she was ready to fuck , you didn’t have to do push and pull and play games with her...the iron was hot...you got to strike from that point on.

Yosharian 7y ago

We were almost to my car and I was just about to ask her if I could give her a ride when she said "can we go in there and get ooooonne more drink?" It was a chill upscale place with couches and good places to lounge. "sure, let's do it" As we were almost at the door she started to say something "why don't we just go.... oh nevermind"

It seems that you lost the initiative here.

wo0zyy 7y ago

How old are you this sounds like you’re a bunch of teenagers

H0tTamal3 7y ago

farminggil 7y ago

According to what evidence?

-4

wo0zyy 7y ago

“Feelz”, “I don’t know if I still like you” etc etc

SuperCrazy07 7y ago

I don’t think you fucked up by agreeing to have a drink at the bar she picked. You can be flexible/spontaneous and fun.

Something else happened around then to kill the mood.

Definitely agree you shouldn’t have done the Hail Mary. At least you recognized it on your own and learned. There’s 3.5 billion more to play with...

yeacoz 7y ago

I didn't read your lesson learned thing but I believe the shit test you failed was the "let's go up for ooone last drink" either she was promoting you to exercise some self-control since you were driving or realised after saying that that she might be drinking too much. You should've just stuck to your guns after making the decision, but the only real mistake was you started to let her take the lead too much.

But really, as other people said, get out of your head, human attraction isn't rocket science.

bemore_ 7y ago

Nah, he lost his cool then used emotional blackmail. He got logical when she said I'll just get water. Could've easily just said I'm okay on my end, let's bounce or even just gotten her water and himself nothing

You don't need to be in control of the interaction with an iron fist. Not everything is a test, sometimes you just gotta play with the cards you're being given

We're deal with humans. It's like approaching an animal in nature, you do so at its pace not yours else it's just gonna run away. He just had to be patient and look on the bright side

YourZenemy 7y ago

Hard agree; this is where things went sour.

I also didn't think of it like this. That line immediately struck me as a compliance test, and the fact that she was gonna ask/suggest her place (or wherever...we don't actually know) further confirms this.

What you said could be an additional layer, so good take.

Cryptoguru777 7y ago

Well, to be honest, if this minor set-back was all it took to completely lose interest in you. GOOD FUCKING RIDDANCE! You dodged a bullet, son.

Heizenbrg 7y ago

I stopped reading after the guy mentioned he was reading trp guide before the date

YourZenemy 7y ago

Why? Putting your mind in a more prepared frame doesn't seem like a negative. Just recently, a post from TRP ended up directly influencing my awareness that evening and ended up benefiting me.

However, OP assumed the frame of unprepared, which sucks. I am also an introvert, I understand the power of preparation and have had a shitty procrastination habit as many of us have/OP probably has.

I'm just curious why you think that's a bad thing.

zyqkvx 7y ago

What was all this 'I don't like you' stuff during success. You are definitely in your head. I can't relate to that one, not that I haven't done things equivalent.

22oregon22 7y ago

First mistake: going out with a fast approaching wall woman at 28 y/o

Second mistake: using the social justice warrior inspired app that is bumble.

-1

thebadguy89 7y ago

Good post, good lesson learned. Don't sweat this small mistake and yeah next time you know what to do. Happens to me all the time, I say one thing wrong and it ends the whole connection. Bunch of ppl here will say "oh it's because you don't have enough SMV." Well shit yeah I know that lmao, but that shouldn't be the end of discussion. good field report

NarrowBath7 7y ago

I do love how this community calls out the tism in posts like these

SeasonedRP 2 7y ago

I don't see any major screw ups on your part. When she didn't want a drink at the third bar, you should have just said "let's go" and given her a ride home and taken things from there. She may have been having second thoughts about fucking the first time she met you, and the slight loss of frame sealed her decision. Use negs and "ok bye"-type behavior sparingly, especially with girls who aren't extremely hot. As you point out, tools like these can backfire if you use them at the wrong time. It wouldn't surprise me if she reaches out to you within the next week or so.

askmrcia 7y ago

I don't see any major screw ups on your part. When she didn't want a drink at the third bar, you should have just said "let's go" and given her a ride home and taken things from there. She may have been having second thoughts about fucking the first time she met you,

I scrolled way too far for this. I know none of us wasn't there, but this is what I'm banking on.

Some of the stuff op said sounds autistic, but again we don't know his body language or tone when he said that stuff so I don't think he was going to close regardless.

And I say that because I had plenty of first dates where I made out with chicks and even fingered them, but they still didn't want to go all the way.

Hell I had girls give BJs and hand jobs and still didn't want to go all the way because they had second thoughts. Shit like that happens.

The chick may reach out or she may not. A lot of dudes are try hards on here, no one closes all the time and sometimes there are things that are out of your control

KnuckleScrapin 7y ago

How are you? = she’s lookin for dick

Also probably sent that message to her other 29 latest matches

Talked your way out of some pussy

All you had to do was show you’re not a complete freak show serial killer (still undetermined) and you would have been up to your nuts in her guts

Laykeside 7y ago

Holy fuck balls, batman. Do you seriously think of all this PUA/red pill terminology in your head when you're on a date? Am I holding frame? Am I holding my dick in my hand? Learn to be comfortable in your own skin. It really isn't that hard. I don't even understand why you go through the trouble of all working up that puke fiesta Neil Strauss wrote more than a decade back. Negs-disqualify-push/pull. Just pure mental diarrhoea. Why are you obsessed with this woman that you apply all these pseudo-jedi mind tricks? It's really simple, there are only two possible outcomes at the end of the night- you get laid or you don't. Eitherway it is not the end of the world. Why are you trying so hard to please her? Do you have no shred of confidence in yourself to be open to the possibility that she probably came to meet you because she was genuinely into you and already attracted to you to some extent? Instead you assume that this woman "had" to be charmed when in reality she already probably was, and you blew it because you've spent too much time masturbating in this forum.

Look around you? Do you want to know how the above average bar patron gets laid? By being social. The real reason why you're an anti-social loner is because you have dogshit self-esteem and you overcompensate/cope for this with a superiority complex. The real issue lies within you, fix that asap. You're looking for hacks through red pill techniques and trying to emulate alpha behaviour, when in reality you could become your own alpha and enjoy a lot ofsuccess. Emulating alpha behaviour will not work, simply because the inner world of an alpha is 100000x more stable than yours aka he is extremely internally validated through his achievements in life. This is precisely why so many veteran red pillers place an emphasis on your mission, because it's objectives affect all other facet's of your life.

ItzClobberinTime 7y ago

I can only manage to remember kino and holding frame not laugyting at everything and acting like a retard. ive been here for 4 plus year's.

Kino is the best if i get a girl over best belive my hand is on her leg. Kino rules guys. Anyone can talk but not most guys can touch a girls leg and make her comfy she instantly gets thinking about how close you are to her pussy and gets wet.

thebadguy89 7y ago

I think a lot of the red pill terminology is useful in the beginning for us guys who have no idea wtf we're doing and just constantly say stuff that validates women (like we've been taught to all our lives). Getting women to submit to your frame is actually pretty hard for some people to do unless they've just been a natural alpha their whole lives (and therefore had other people submitting to their frame unconsciously)

H0tTamal3 7y ago

I don't have all of this stuff running through my head in the moment. Sure there is a little bit of thought, but I'm not the way you are imagining. I have plenty of confidence. One of my missions is getting better at pickup and spinning plates. I do that by looking back after and thinking critically about what I have done. You call it what you want though.

When I started really applying this stuff about 6 months ago, I had been nothing but a serial monogamist for the past 14+ years and couldn't pickup women at all. Now I have more plates than I have time for, 2 of who are 8s and none below 6. Having a ton of sex with attractive women is important to me, so I focus on that. I come here and learn some stuff, go out and apply it, then come back and iron out some more details. I didn't make this FR because I'm so upset about this one skank, I made it because I want to improve my game, therefore improve myself.

You can shit on me all you want, I'm still going to keep trying, improving, and plating more attractive women. Just because it doesn't fit into your self-improvement-masturbation version of TRP doesn't make it "fake alpha" or whatever it is you're saying. Keep doing your self improvement thing, I'll do mine.

the_smart_donkey 7y ago

I appreciate you taking time to answer extensively. I respect the road you are going.

Laykeside 7y ago

The problem is you're not addressing the larger issue here. You want to delve into TRP technique's when you can only squeeze out a hello when you meet someone new for the first time, and yet here you are with countless plates ranging from 6-8.

I come here and learn some stuff, go out and apply it, then come back and iron out some more details

This is what I mentioned in your OP. You're learning stuff which aren't currently relevant to your immediate needs, It may seem the opposite to you since getting laid is part of your mission and all efforts are directed towards it, therefore making TRP tools and content paramount to success, when it reality it is an extremely flimsy crutch for you to rely on. I mean, just re-evaluate your own post, you need to be mentally prepared to be around people, worried about the voice in your head ripping your frame and so forth. You have unresolved internal issues which you definitely need to work with in order to make this a walk in the park.

[deleted] 7y ago

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ItzClobberinTime 7y ago

Yep. Now leave bitches who are boring at the bars because i dont need low value girls. I want high value girls and i want stuff from them.

mrlympia 7y ago

You just fucked it up at the end with the " okay bye" could've simply said " come here " and your making it wayyy too complicated

rad_dynamic 7y ago

She was ready for the dick and you said retarded shit. You know it's ok to tell a girl you want to fuck them or that you are attracted to them? You're going 100% dick, too much. 80/20 is the best I've found. The last time she said bye, you should've said no, I want you here(because you actually did). Owning your feelings is sexy

Edit: Although you royally fucked up, it takes a man to be honest about it.

JamesSkepp 7y ago

I need to prepare before a date by getting myself in a social mood, or at least go over some good ice breakers and feelz inducing conversation threads beforehand.

Leave 30 mins early, arrive half a mile from venue, walk the rest of the way, say "hi" to everyone you meet along the way, after first 10 people start adding stuff like asking for this or that, whatever you want as long as it keeps the conversation going.

_Tactleneck_ 7y ago

So good. Worth its own post for everyone to see.

bsutansalt 7y ago

This is a good tip. Talking to the staff at the venue for a while beforehand will help in the same manner. Also, be a repeat customer so you're on first name basis with everyone. Bam! Instant social proof when your online dates show up.

Halflotus1 7y ago

This is fucking solid

H0tTamal3 7y ago

Thanks, I usually just do that throughout my day normally anyway. I had to make that a constant, day to day, habit to break out of the silent brooding personality that I've had my whole life. It has probably helped my game more than anything else. It's becoming more natural, but yesterday I was just in reading mode and by the time we made plans and I showered I barely made it to the venue on time. I appreciate the advice, I'll make a point to do that before my date tonight.

MeansToABenz 7y ago

“before my date tonight.“ Yes sirrrrrrrr.

IRunYourRiver 7y ago

Have you read Mystery Method? A lot of good advice in there. But the one that always sticks with me is his advice to go out four days a week for four hours and open a set every 20 minutes. That's 48 set openings PER WEEK. That's abundance. And you'll fuck up 80 percent of them. My point is that while it's good to try to learn from your experiences, one HB6 from Bumble is honest to God not worth a 3000 word essay. You took away an important lesson. And thanks for sharing it with us. Now, continue learning and improving. You got this, brother.

H0tTamal3 7y ago

I have read MM, though I didn't take it too seriously. It gave a helpful picture of some of the dynamics going on in an approach. I do a decent amount of approaching, but I already spend so much time banging the plates I'm already spinning and meeting people through dating apps that I'm not setting more than a few hours a week aside for approaching. I do approach throughout my day if the opportunity presents itself.

monsieurhire2 7y ago

If everything hinges on 1 or 2 words, then that's a sign that she's... just not that into you! (to borrow a phrase women's dating agitprop mandarins use....)

I just had a woman who was super into me. She's attractive, but there were red flags. I fooled around a bit with her, but I wouldn't actually go as far as the sex, because I know that it's just bait to reel me in.

I said so many stupid, potentially alienating things over the evening. At one point, I was actively trying to see if I could "fuck it up."

Nope, she just wouldn't give up.

Meanwhile, some other girls took an instant dislike to me even though I did nothing to alienate them. I didn't even bother to try and dig myself out and win them over. Is that what a high value man would do? He would just shrug and go do something or someone else.

Now, there is a gray area between these two extremes, and one can argue that the two extremes themselves are actually undesirable for obvious reasons. If someone insta-dislikes you, maybe that's a real sign that you're not compatible, or that they have something wrong with them. If someone, on the other hand, insta-wants-to-fuck-your-brains out, that's also a sign that something is wrong, because they don't even know you and they want your seed or whatever. Chances are, they would just as easily want someone else, or they are a slut, or a feels-chaser, or crazy, or desperate to lock down a man, etc.

INNASKILLZ2K18 6y ago

This. Absolutely. Things shouldn't hinge on one or two words/actions.

I actually do less now. A lot less. I know a woman is either interested, or not. Sure, there are things I have to do (be attractive) but ultimately she is either fuck no or yes.

There are ways to tell, which we of course know once you become higher value and learn to see women's IOI's.

TwentyEighteen 7y ago

I think they just tolerate more shit if they perceive you as higher value. The closer you are to her value, the less mistakes she will tolerate. Example: the tinder experiment with the attractive child rapist. They completely ignore that he’s a child rapist because he’s out of their league appearance wise

monsieurhire2 7y ago

Ah yes, that old chestnut.

But given that this is the internet, you have to take into account that those supposedly authentic documents might have been manufactured for agitprop purposes.

It would be the functional equivalent of militant, angry, lesbian feminazis cherry-picking or even manufacturing "evidence" to support their argument that all men are pig-like beast-oppressors: it stirs up fear and hatred in its audience, which is to some degree primed to believe it due to a past negative experience, and then their gullible followers go along with it. That's why you always hear about the 30% pay gap, but not so much about the lack of battlefield casualties and coal mine deaths for women.

I see the same thing in racist propaganda. Every time a black person, or a hispanic person, or a jewish person commits a crime or does something immoral, the racist blogosphere will add it to their list of "See???? Seee???" Meanwhile, if anyone from those groups does something commendable and demonstrates their value to humanity, they are either silent, or they explain it away, often times with a false-hood. Also, they don't describe "white" crime in the same way, if at all, unless it's to make a point of "white" enablers who are in cahoots with the ethnic groups they hate.

Not that there aren't women out there who give zero fucks whether the guy is a child molester. I mean, guys in prison who murder and rape get marriage proposals and conjugal visits if they are alpha enough. But child molesters usually get murdered in prison.

On the other hand, high-status alphas in the music and film industry have been getting away with sleeping with underage girls for years (typically at least 14 years old though, i.e. Ted Nugent, Led Zeppelin, etc. etc.) because they are idolized and actively pursued by the minor, and also, the parents are secretly hoping that their daughter will get wifed up by a rich celebrity one way or another. When I was in high school, many of the girls were after older guys with money, status, and resources. It was so horrifying, that I repressed a lot of the implications because it was too depressing to think about in terms of my own self-worth. But looking back on it, many were VERY aware of their own SMV, and also the lack of SMV of men their own age.

But I do agree about them tolerating more shit if you have higher value. Of course, higher value actually have LESS shit if you think about it. I mean, if someone is fat, ugly, and smelly, but they are punctual, polite, courteous, and have resources, you still have to contend with their unattractive attributes. And most people don't have all those virtues going for them. So a good looking person with a few character flaws will come across as WAY more attractive than an ugly person who MAY only be PRETENDING to be virtuous as part of their sales strategy. I didn't really see much difference in terms of looks with regards to good looking or plain women. They were both capable of the same problematic tendenices: being shallow, money-grubbing, whoring around, not having any interests outside of consumerism, etc.

TwentyEighteen 7y ago

I’ve personally recreated this experiment myself and it yielded the same results. Many other people have done so as well. You can say anything and women will throw themselves at you if you’re attractive enough. But you won’t believe me because the truth hurts and I must be a misogynist with an agenda lol. Try it yourself

monsieurhire2 7y ago

Oh no, I do believe you. It's just that everyone's individual threshold varies. Some people will care about X, but not Y, or not about, X, Y, Z, etc. but something else.

For instance, if you tell a woman that you have a terminal case of the flesh-eating ebola virus, or leprosy, or AIDS, AND they actually believe you, they aren't going to have sex with you.... unless you find one that wants to die immediately by that particular means, but what are the odds of that happening?

You should try that experiment. Try to be like: "Hi, I have leprosy, but before I'm shipped away to the colony, how about some sex?"

Also, another thing to consider, if they say "Yes," that might mean that THEY have an STD, terminal disease, etc.

I don't know if you've ever seen Fight Club, but there is a scene where a terminally ill woman desperately entreats the room for a sex partner, mentioning her collection of toys, lubes, etc. I don't think she got any takers.

TwentyEighteen 7y ago

Of course it varies, but the thing is that the overwhelming majority of women were ok with it. The guy got a lot more potential dates or potential sex than a straight laced average guy would ever hope. Hard cope

monsieurhire2 7y ago

That's assuming it's actually real, and not agitprop. There is a LOT of agitprop floating around the internet, and it works because it can be easily passed off as TrueStoryBroTm according to the biases of the intended audiences. People on here have been burned by women, so many WANT to believe that already. It could really just be more divide and conquer stuff.

Then again, maybe it IS real.

I think that whoever wrote that would have been on sounder footing if they had just put murder or robbery, or even regular rape. Those are all bad enough, and yet many women fantasize about being with guys that do those things. Pedophilia is almost universally condemned, so the author jumped the shark a bit and went too far.

MaterialVirus 7y ago

If all you did was go to the bathroom something was already bothering her. It was probably in her own head and I wouldnt read too far into it. It could be anything from a terrible tragedy to a meaningless random thought. She could have felt guilty for hooking up with someone after her bf died or she could have forgotten to shave or forgot that she was on her period. (Idgaf about a girl being on her period, but a lot of girls feel gross about it.)

Bottom line is that sometimes there is nothing you could have done differently to produce a different outcome. That is why we spin multiple plates.

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marksiwelforever 7y ago

Lol Jesus Christ dude get off the red pill and out of your head

Gnosiis_ 7y ago

I am fairly certain she was about to tell me to come to her place, but didn't finish.

Should've playfully pushed on this to try to determine her true feelings ie: whether she was not yet comfortable taking the next step or more likely just putting up resistance like she was the whole night.

I turned around and started walking to my car, thinking she would just walk towards me and submit to the frame I thought I still had (which I didn't).

Too much pull. She has her own ego to consider. Running back to you again would be a big step on her part.

I found out that she walked to the date.

You should've offered to walk her home rather than drive.

H0tTamal3 7y ago

Should've playfully pushed on this to try to determine her true feelings ie: whether she was not yet comfortable taking the next step or more likely just putting up resistance like she was the whole night.

I did tell her to finish and she just changed the subject quickly. I figured it was a guaranteed lay if I didn't fuck it up in some major way (which I obv did) so I didn't really care.

Too much pull. She has her own ego to consider. Running back to you again would be a big step on her part.

This is something I never consider. I don't have native social skills so I don't think of things like this. Very helpful, thanks for responding.

ItzClobberinTime 7y ago

How is it guaranteed lay if you havent spoken about sex. Ive got chicks to my house who talk about sex ect but they dont put out on the first date.

So its like your a slut but your a secound day slut. Either way am fucking all i have to do is just take rejection like a champ make her feel comftable for a secound date then we can fuck. Ok....