This is a well established point, but I wanted to share a story that illustrates it.
When I was in my 20s, I was seen as hot shit. I had a physics degree and was going to California to study Arabic, then to graduate school for political science for a couple years. I exercised, was relatively muscular, and dressed well. I was also confrontational and kind of an asshole. I worked hard on that image because I was so ashamed of myself growing up and how people made fun of me at home and out of the house.
The girlfriend I had at the time was the sexiest girl I'd ever seen, and we'd hook up sometimes 4-6 times in a day. It was incredible. I ended up leaving her because she wouldn't stop being what Bill Burr says is a psycho robot.
Fast forward four years. I'd dug myself in a hole from porn addiction, chosen to leave my government career because I'm making insane decisions thinking I'm some sort of missionary pilgrim. I'm whiny, looking for validation, and a sex addict. I think to myself, "this girl was my bottom bitch before and worshipped the ground I trod. I'll call her back up." We hooked up. She was depressed because the last guy she dated dumped her (after me).
I made the mistake of telling her how shitty my life was. Then, I made the really shitty mistake of trying to get her to sympathize with me, by telling her my 'story' and how I was trying to get through some shit I hadn't resolved from the past (and present obviously).
Girl completely lost respect for me THAT night. Her tone was so different. I thought she'd understand what had happened to me and would have pity. No. She understood. She understood that I was not the guy she thought I was, and go fucking figure, dumped my ass in a month. We had been engaged.
I had a hard life in childhood being born to a psychotic mother. I won't get into it, but I've found another way (Jesus) when I go with it. Still, for many many years I tried to have women mother me in order to provide things I hadn't received from my mother like validation, comfort, safety, pity, understanding, and the other motherly virtues. But when a mother won't give you that, you don't go looking for it in women your own age.
I learned the hard way.
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ModernSchizoid 6y ago
Damn straight.
Did the exact same thing, and ended up being her backup, led on with false hope (among other things). Learnt the hard way as well, but that's the only kind of learning as far as I'm concerned. She completely took me for granted and fed me a lie. She treated me like dirt. The modern feminist narrative may preach that men should be "open" about their feelings, but being that way with anyone but your potential therapist/therapist is a complete recipe for disaster.
The social landscape today would condemn this to no end, but being touchy-feely just isn't part of a guy's evolutionary design. It's the opposite of what he stands for.
And you're completely right. Women's pro-social behavior and psychology is an extension of their motherhood, it is not their motherhood — in very simple terms.
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potatorockstar 6y ago
Women dont exist to love you, or be your mothers, or hear your sob stories and be your cryshoulder. Women are filters of male weakness. They are the fire that purifies beta maledom from the earth. I'd not advise to be a robot that shows no weakness around them. Just to minimise that impression and while being humane and relateable, never pour you entire soul's content at their feet. They aint your effin priest.
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afterthe_fapocalypse 6y ago
very strong post, thanks brother.
potatorockstar 6y ago
To be longterm with a woman, you need to remain forever a bit of a mystery. A challenge to overcome, a riddle to solve. That's the spice of relationships. If with years of effort she earns your trust bit by bit, you can occasionally frame it as her "achievement" to get bits and pieces of your psyche. But thats for your long term main hoe/wife. The ephemeral ones are mostly not even a part of that game.
swmorgan77 6y ago
The sad part is that many women even encourage men to behave this way... in a way that will totally destroy their ability to be attracted to them.
potatorockstar 6y ago
yeah they totally try to make a beta out of you in a relationship. and strongly encourage you to pour out all your weaknesses. the question is wether you'll fall for it though... .
swmorgan77 6y ago
Absolutely right. And they may even sincerely believe that's what they want in a man (at that moment) but if you do that, it's over. Transaction "duty" sex and lots of entitlement and emotional manipulation is all you have to look forward to at that point.
afterthe_fapocalypse 6y ago
I hear you bro. totally see it too. there's this verse in the Bible in Genesis, where God curses the woman for her sin. He says, "Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you." It echoes another verse where God tells (I think it's Cain later in Genesis) Cain that he should master sin, because it's (sin's) desire is for him and to overcome him.
Women strive to dominate their husbands, and when they do, they're completely unhappy. It's literally a curse. If women saw it they wouldn't do it because it's so fucking self-destructive. They should instead make men more masculine and dominant.
swmorgan77 6y ago
Ok but I'm really not down with the biblical stuff. I don't put any credence in bronze-age mythology as far as relevance to morality or relationships. As for the "striving to dominate" is it really a desire to dominate, or is some of it testing you to see if you are the alpha who will stand up, or the beta that will back down?
afterthe_fapocalypse 6y ago
Not trying to convince you of religious sentiment or sense. Your thoughts are your own, freely.
A desire to dominate. If when the man displayed alpha traits then the woman permanently backed down (knowing she'd bedded an alpha), then I'd say it's a test. But women constantly do this. If you're a beta, they already won so they don't need to do it anymore. But when you're an alpha, they'll relent for a bit, but as Bill Burr hilariously portrayed it in his psycho robot skit, women just fucking keep coming at you man. It doesn't matter what you tell them. So yeah, a desire to dominate.
I realize you don't believe in Christian mythology (which believe it or not was formulated well past the Bronze Age), but Genesis actually spells this out pretty well in the fall from Eden. Eve listened to the devil instead of Adam. And Adam listened to Eve instead of God. Both were banished. Then they were cursed, and Eve's curse was to desire to dominate Adam, while Adam would forever rule over her. What you're seeing nowadays is an explicit attempt to overthrow masculinity and overcome this crisis, but the curse cannot be overcome. What God writes in the code of reality will always be there.
swmorgan77 6y ago
The Adam and Eve story you keep citing predates christianity by quite a bit. Christianity borrowed heavily (especially in its ethical and mythological components ...i.e. the book of genesis) from Judasm. So yes, the origins are bronze-age. In any case, bronze age or not, they are archaic, outdated and (most importantly) incorrect ideas.
red_philosopher 6y ago
Your problems are your problems. You use them to take action or you hide from them with excuses. You come to terms, or you let them poison and control you. Those are your choices, and your choices alone. They are not someone else's problems or choices to make.
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MisterSlippyFinger 6y ago
Gotta agree here. Frame was lost and that was the key.
hiktaka 6y ago
+1
Telling her about the storm while still positioning yourself as a strongman is okay. With the correct way to telling a story, it even enhance your game for some drama-lover. Of course not too much or too often.
Standgrounding 6y ago
The "why" there is obvious. He was looking for pity and, well, it backfired(obviously)
The "how" was probably the same.
Both lead to how he had ruined his life.
afterthe_fapocalypse 6y ago
thanks for putting that idea together for me about a more manly context. The 'how' as you put it. She was all over and done with me because of my tone. If I was, like you said, using the terrible experience from a position of strength, boom, total different situation. I was so weak then. Spiritually so weak and sick.
But you're right bro. I'd be interested in a copy of that book. PM me sometime when it's released if you're interested.
_do_not_read_this_ 6y ago
Don't want to dox myself when the book comes out. I may do it from a different account. But there's a lot of RP in it, so keep reading here.
afterthe_fapocalypse 6y ago
thanks bro, yes, looking forward to it.
S3LF-IMPROV3M3NT 6y ago
Thanks for that. I've been looking for a way to phrase it.
rockyp32 6y ago
Well would it have gone any better if he said it dofferently? I think not
Tutsks 6y ago
If he said he was back on his feet, moving forward, had some kind of plan, or whatever?
Yeah.
Women are fine with you falling as long as they believe you will get back up. Especially if they really liked you when you were up.
If you convince them that you are done, though, they will believe you.
Unlike us, women will get with a divorced guy, a cripple, a dwarf, they will overlook many things, as long as they see you going somewhere.
In fact, many women have "nurse" fetishes, where they will help you back up, but it only really lasts until you convince them you are hopeless.
Do note that all of this applies to women you already got, and who, other than whatever, like you. You def aren't going to pull a girl, or most girls, anyway, with tales of misery.
lux_7 6y ago
Boom! This. Great to see some great content on TRP. Maybe I jumped the gun in judging this community a bit too early.
rockyp32 6y ago
I hear that but it doesn’t seem like OP was telling her he’s done for.
Tutsks 6y ago
I disagree. To me, the post reads like he was fishing for pity.
I mean, he might not have been, I wasn't there. But, it reads that way.
And, one of the most important lessons one can learn in life is that pity is the worst currency in the world. It doesn't buy anything, it is costly to produce, and if anything, it weights you down.
And that is the key here. Pity awakens disgust from women.
And perhaps this is a hard concept to convey.
Have you seen Rocky, or read essentially any manga, or, a ton of books? Have you felt a rush at that time when the protagonist is down on his luck, on the floor, seems defeated... and gets back up?
Women... no, humans, love that shit. Persistence in the face of adversity. Overcoming the odds. Taking every hit and still getting back up.
There is a reason it is an enduring narrative structure: it connects with our basic instincts as to how one must conduct one self through life to be successful.
This is, there is no human being who won't experience adversity. Who won't fall, who won't be beaten up at some point.
Contrary to popular opinion, women do not demand, or need, perfection.
What they need tho, is adventure. This is why people stress that having a passion, some kind of project, goal, or something, is important. Because people dig that rush. You know, the moment when music plays, when there is a shine in your eyes, when you get up, and you finally beat whatever the fuck was in your way.
And that is the difference.
In the tale he told, was he implying he was done, his journey over, it was time to pity him?
If so, most any woman will leave. There is a great truth to the fact that women can't stand the beta. Hell, someone posted a study about castrated mice that shows its not only human females that act that way. Its probably evolution.
Classic_Touch 6y ago
Best advice from anyone on this sub ever about women. Of course that I have read.
rockyp32 6y ago
I know I love those success stories but I always assumed woman don’t care from what I’ve read on here. If he told his whole story but then added but he’s going to get back up and win again I’m curious how that would’ve played out
Tutsks 6y ago
They do. A lot of red pill/game stuff focuses on women being different from us. And they are.
But they aren't alien beings, if they were, we wouldn't be able to communicate.
Women respond strongly to emotion. It is why stories work, why adventures work, why adrenaline and confidence works, why taking control works.
When you take control, you are a Disney ride, she doesn't have to do much but have fun, and see what happens.
When you have some adversity you are overcoming, you are an epic, with a beginning in media res. She can see where the tale begins and where it is going, and experience her own legend.
This is what women chase.
And that is why incels and the like are usually fucked. If your story is done, it is done. That is the main reason one shouldn't give women "closure" if one is interested in them. As long as there's no closure, they will always wonder about the ending. Its how the ex who suddenly left can come back and woo them back, and why no contact works.
The true meaning of being alpha is resiliency. There is no person in this world who hasn't encountered adversity. It makes sense that we would be prompted to be drawn to resiliency, in evolutionary terms.
This has been a very insightful convo! Thanks!
trueliberal1 6y ago
Mothers generally sacrifice for their children. Women do not want to sacrifice for men. They only want men to sacrifice for them.
CoachOcelot 6y ago
"Women don't give a shit about your struggle. They wait at the finish line and fuck the winners."
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DYELFORCEONE 6y ago
Ya that's why depression is hard to fight, no women and 99% of men don't give a FUCK about you.
red_philosopher 6y ago
Depression is hard to fight because it fits an addiction model. The choice to fight against it is hard to make when depressed, and the alternative fuels the depression. Just like addiction.
DDzxy 6y ago
I always found it interesting how come almost all my male friends, sometimes even no matter how little I knew them, would always be sympathetic and would have my back and try to help me. Always related to sort of bullshit I'd tell them. Ironically, I always had easier time venting to other men, and had understanding to men venting to me.
NextForever 6y ago
I highly disagree because it really depends on the community and who the person is.
Out in the Utah countryside, LDS folks are actively compassionate (on average). Although their path towards curing depression entails a lot of insane theology, there are endless people from my memory that would help out almost any stranger in need.
Then over here in the ghetto of San Francisco, I never walk around with more than 100 in cash and am rarely out on the streets past midnight. I’m passing by crack dealers outside my apartment (that are actually real mellow) and stepping over junkies every single day; I can’t even compare it to back home in Utah... But then again, there are people here that have a lot of love in their heart.
I find it’s best not to judge and be noble to those that are going through a rough patch, then you’ll sorta forget about all the ego/narcissism out there.
theredsperg 6y ago
I learned that from court.
the 1% are normally your best mate who will stand by you in the thick and thin, the 99% will never care even if you think they do
afterthe_fapocalypse 6y ago
it's a lonely world bro. but the loneliness and dearth of any compassion is a prompt to go to God about it. Shitty situation, I'd feel if I were God like "oh, big sacrifice the guy's making. nobody loves him. so he comes to me last." but you know, God doesn't think like this because I can feel his kindness to me.
Good point, thanks for writing
Thunderbird93 6y ago
The cure to depression is realizing "Nobody cares, work harder." Atleast the money can alleviate your sorrow
Ruueee 6y ago
Lmao I hope this is a joke. You're going to end up as another suicide statistic
Nazmanito 6y ago
TRP has lot of insightful teachings but some of you guys just got brainwashed or just have shitty families or live in a "tough guy" fantasy. I come from a bad family environment but I know that my mother, grandmothers and aunt clearly give a fuck about me. Most of you would be running crying to your moms if anything serious in life ever happened to you.
Ruueee 6y ago
This.... Dudes from shitty families projecting their learned pathology
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DYELFORCEONE 6y ago
Mothers care until it becomes an inconvenience
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Cliff_br 6y ago
I gotta agree and disagree. Women definitely don’t give a fuck no matter what the relationship is not even your mom or sister. But in my experience men close to you are more sympathetic and considerate of your depressed state. They’ll try to help you cope and get over it
Warren_Bateman 6y ago
I find that even if a good guy friend is sympathetic and considerate, he’ll get really uncomfortable about it and it’s ultimately better to pay someone for this (i.e. therapy)
setsuna0 6y ago
Idk bro my mom is odd. She loves as unconditional as possible. It's actually unhealthy.
But other women yeah...they don't give a fuck. I had one who acted like she was there for me at the hospital. While talking behind my back to my boy about why that's so hard for her.
Godmode2229 6y ago
Not odd at all. Biological imperative. A mother's love may be unconditional, but she's still a wokan
Stron2g 6y ago
Thats not odd, a mans mom is the only female in the entire world who can unconditionally love him and sympathize with his struggles. Telling any other female is detrimental to your social status. OP learnt that the hard way.
Field_Of_View 6y ago
Nah. There is no unconditional love. The condition with motherly love is that you're her child. It's just about the only permanent condition but it's still a condition. If she found out you were switched in the hospital who knows if she would still stick with you through hard times.
setsuna0 6y ago
I say odd because it extends beyond her children.
At least OP learned. That's the beauty of this community. You learn about these nuances the world hides from you.
Stron2g 6y ago
The things the world lies to you about. Or maybe hiding is lying?
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AlationMath 6y ago
I mean, should men actually want women to be their mothers? If you need to be told this you're probably not a natural alpha no matter how many red pills you swallow.
afterthe_fapocalypse 6y ago
a natural alpha might not be on TRP. why would he care? I'm fine with who I am, it's what I do that matters. And that I can change.
Classic_Touch 6y ago
Also from reading some of the comments. I don't believe many of you understand what we mean by "I am not your mother". No wonder so many end up in divorce.
potatorockstar 6y ago
Men need to lead. Being too invested in female sensitivities and quirks is meaningless. You'd respect an alpha male that leads you with his own frame more than a superempath beta that adjusts to your every whim. We don't have to understand everything, just to make sensible leadership choices.
shark30k 6y ago
My mother got cancer when I was 16-17 then she passed away when I was 20. I'm 22 now. I recently started meditating and because of that I started noticing myself that I keep trying to get all the comfort, validation that I used to get from my mother from the girls I meet. They don't want to be my mother. Period. I should try to find something else to fill the void. Maybe that's what has made my relationships complicated. I just needed to vent this out so I used this platform.
sebastianconcept 6y ago
Good son. That's the attitude. Is fantastic that you are aware of that without further delay.
I lost my mother when I was 5 so I didn't even had the chance to learn how to receive mother validation. But my father gave me a lot and presented me always in ways that to other women gave me validation. I was always feeling it a bit pushy and somehow embarrassing but still liked it while, in the back of my mind, not buying it completely into it.
afterthe_fapocalypse 6y ago
thanks for venting bro. I've heard that the one thing that's worse than being abandoned by a mother is one dying. So that's serious. I right now wish my mother were dead at times. But yours, she actually did die. I'm sad for you man. I feel really sad about that. I'm sorry. Fucking sucks. Shouldn't have happened. Small wonder you're looking for her in other women. It's such a predictable pattern (look at me man! same!), and yet so understandable. Don't blame yourself. TRP isn't about fake-fixing our problems, but about really dealing with it. Part of not going to women about this shit isn't because it's a rule, but because it just fuckign doesn't work. So we do what works. Look at some therapy bro. No offense in it. Some really great people have gotten it, and you'd be surprised that it can help.
one thing that I've found is that women do not provide spiritual healing. and the problem I've had is a spiritual one. Women can treat physical hunger, but like physical hunger it just comes back. Feed your belly, it doesn't matter if it's a steak or peanut butter, it'll be ungrateful and hungry all over again whenever it fucking wants to. Same with this spiritual need I've tried to treat with physical remedies (women). Not pushing anything, Jesus has worked for me. I'd be dead without him.
Classic_Touch 6y ago
Agreed we are not your mothers. Glad you learned from life's lessons and you should find someone who will be happy. We hate being your mom.
afterthe_fapocalypse 6y ago
looking forward to being as repulsed by that as you are
Classic_Touch 6y ago
So we both will be single forever?
afterthe_fapocalypse 6y ago
well I can always be your father
Classic_Touch 6y ago
Thanks for the offer. However, I have one. He may get upset if I found a new one. Would prefer a partner.
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NegaoDaPaixao 6y ago
Been there, done that, also learned the hard way
People, especially women, don't want to see the fight, only the results.
DYELFORCEONE 6y ago
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ctU7P14dS98
P-y-m 6y ago
Can’t agree more with this one, unfortunately.
vplatt 6y ago
And that really applies to the workplace too. Didja work really hard on that proposal? Good for you skippy, but no one gives a fuck! They'll only care if they win the business too.
Truedemocracy5 6y ago
Similarly, is person x an absolute shit head but wins with clients? Then we will keep him on board
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gtslothracing 6y ago
Women want someone to lead them. No one follows a weak leader. https://youtu.be/IV79EIZVuHQ
_nein_danke 6y ago
One thing that really got me angry was that a similar thing happened to me but with a FEMINIST. These women who preach that men should "show their feelings" and not to worry about "being a man". So you show your feelings, and you don't worry about being a man...and then you get completely hung out to fuckin' dry. The feminist hypocrisy is staggering.
afterthe_fapocalypse 6y ago
LOL ... not at your suffering but at the sheer dishonesty. I see these female paragons like Capt. Marvel or Wonder Woman and literally NO woman acts like this. None. They run. They're the ones who run to the life boats in the Titanic, not the ones who are saving their children or their husbands. Back then we knew they were weaker. Now we're supposed to still confer on them all the benefits of before, but to think they're secretly and have always been stronger than us. total bullshit.
sorry man. I'll have to remember never to date a feminist. really troubling experience sounds like on your end with her. bitch. whatever. at least you know she's lying the whole way through it.
bam9545 6y ago
Everyone has a shitty past . Hope you can also take what you learned from it .
RedHoodhandles 6y ago
Here's a little secret for you OP and for all users here who think 'to never show weakness'.
Frame. Your frame. It is all about how you handle your shit. There are no problems. Only challenges.
Not telling her your problems or telling her you don't have any, doesn't solve shit. This is okay for plates. They don't need to know shit. BECAUSE they need to earn the right so see your struggle and your fights.
Once you've established an emotional connection she needs to see AND know that you can handle shit. That you get x done. That there's this challenge x and it sucks but you will grow by it and become harder, better and stronger. You become more of a man.
afterthe_fapocalypse 6y ago
yeah, another user wrote something about this, and I totally went about it the wrong way. I was so blue pill, I so didn't think about what I was doing, I had dug myself a hole and wanted her to pull me out. or at least be there to encourage me out. the red pill hurts man. hurts less than going through that though.
Winkwinkcoughcough 6y ago
You presented yourself as the asshole, alpha guy of course when you open up she'd shut you down. Maybe if you looked for the girl who would be more understanding could've been a better strategy.
afterthe_fapocalypse 6y ago
totally bro. fucking called it. telling the truth at the start, just telling the fucking truth all the time is the only answer I want for this.
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lux_7 6y ago
Good post. But exceptions apply. This is (almost always) true if you look pathetic. But if you look somewhat broken on an overall strong frame many women will lap it up.
NYCSPARKLE 6y ago
Not "broken", but potentially a "bad boy" or mysterious.
That's why so many women are into sex, drugs, and rock and roll type guys.
A grimy, broke, often-drunk musician living in a van can still pull girls, because there is potential upside (status and monetary) for the girls, he has social proof, and he is probably aloof to girls and is doing something.
Now imagine a clean cut, moderately-successful, no-baggage guy... who lives at home with his mom...good luck bro!
afterthe_fapocalypse 6y ago
heard that from a different source ... kind of a crack in the armor thing
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S3LF-IMPROV3M3NT 6y ago
Out of all the RP truths, even the ones about hypergamy and 80/20, this one probably hits me the hardest. I'll never be able to open up to women about how abusive my deranged bitch of a mom was, because it'll make me look weak. I just... how can I be a man when I wasn't raised as one? How do I front as successful and confident when I was destined to fail or at least be bottlenecked based on my abusive upbringing? That's narak bro.
Just today... this 6/10 white girl was eyeing me, giving me fuck-me eyes and checking out my traps. I shrug 160lbs for 12 and Barbell Row 240lbs for 5. She stayed around doing random bullshit til the end of a class she wasn't even participating in. Towards the end, she just stayed around while 2 other guys were there and rest of the gym was empty. I had a hunch she was giving me a chance to approach her. I got insecure because even though both of those guys were way scrawnier than me, they had better technique during rolling and one of them tapped me once. The one who didn't tap me was complimenting me saying my traps are so big it's hard to choke me. I came off as insecure and said I worked out beforehand and mentioned my Row PR and complained about how hard it is to balance lifting and MMA. Then I awkwardly left saying "peace", and I looked anywhere but at the girl and didn't even acknowledge her existence except avoiding eye-contact... fuck... how I would've loved to plow her. Maybe I should stop jacking off 2-3 times a day, but the thing is I'm 23 and live at home with my parents and don't even have a driver's license or car yet. I had health problems for 5 years.
nixon993 6y ago
Stop analysing stuff so much just do your thing.and stop jerking off
Nergaal 6y ago
you can get that without a car
AceMav21 6y ago
I remember this 40yr old steroid junkie who was fucking my sisters roommate 24yrs old. He openly talking about his current cycle in front of her. He didn’t have a car, lived with his parents and works out at planet fitness. Then again she was in a similar predicament & a similar person. Retarded druggie that’s why I never stuck my dick in her. Aaron Clarey “Don’t stick your dick In tatted up whores”.
afterthe_fapocalypse 6y ago
Your situation isn't enviable! Sorry man :-) I bet that girl was cute. Do you often do that? like psyche yourself out? I think it's an interesting pattern, because we don't know what the girl thinks; neither does she know what we're thinking. And yet reading your post, you imputed that you knew she was thinking you looked 'scrawnier'. Which if she was interested in you to begin with, was not true. And yet in this 'projection', you assumed that you could read her mind, and also that she could read yours. Your mind is safe bro. My mother trained me to think at a very very early age that she could read my thoughts. Bitch. I'm 34 and now just realizing that my mind is safe. Nobody can read my thoughts. Just my body language.
Coming from your past, I totally get porn/masturbation, the insecurity around women ... because the woman who modeled women to you is a fucked up wild animal with no remorse for you.
One thing I did a couple years ago is return to the house of my childhood where I was hit and smacked and pushed around all the time. You know what hit me the most? How tiny I was. I was looking at the windows I used to look out of longingly when I was little. And I was barely as tall as my waist then. And that's the boy my mother was beating and insulting and hating. How? How. How could someone do that to someone so little?
I dissociated a lot from the pain through porn and masturbation. If you can turn away from that at your age, you'll be far ahead. There's a sub on here called nofap that can help if you're interested. That will give you tons of energy and drive to move out, and to find something worth moving out into. Do you have friends? Good guy friends?
Also, for what it's worth, and I think it's worth it, I went to Jesus. I have needs that run deep, but I thought they were physical. In reality, they're spiritual. And he's helped me. They go away with him. I can't explain how, but they do. He's real. I don't want to push anything on you; I'm just saying what's worked for me.
Rispy_Girl 6y ago
Get out of your head by using all that thinking to your advantage. The worst that could happen if you approach her is you get turned down. Not as bad as not approaching her because if you don't approach her you beat yourself up with what-ifs. I had to create a switch in my brain after spending like 30 minutes contemplating approaching and losing my charge one time and being haunted by it. The switch is that logic bit I just wrote.
Stop jacking off so much and you won't think as clearly. Could be a good thing because maybe it'll get you out of your head. Could be a bad thing because maybe you'll ignore red flags or lower your standards. Just some thoughts from personal experience. I choose to bleed off my sexual energy and take my chances with a clear head.
S3LF-IMPROV3M3NT 6y ago
Man but if a girl rejects you normally, you never have to see her again. But I have a long membership with the MMA gym, so I'll have to see her over and over. And it makes it awkward.
Rispy_Girl 6y ago
Fair enough. Makes it harder in the awkward sense. But if she's there regularly you have time to better assess the actual risks. You are the best judge. Either way good luck.
throwaway_alt_slo 6y ago
Same as me - traps - 100lbs row PR - chicks giving me fuck me eyes + have a drivers license. Anyway u still live at home which means no pussy rn. Focus on lifting, studying/earning money, cooking, learning other skills. U just need to accept reality and do things instead u can do, so later u can focus on plowing.
Brutal13 6y ago
Hey, you can fuck girls at your car, forest, parks etc. Easier than you think
throwaway_alt_slo 6y ago
I lost my virginity in a car, she complained after, she rather doesnt have sex than do it in a car. And she was a horny lil bitch.
Protocol_Apollo 6y ago
A beta wants his girlfriend to take a mother type of role: he wants to rely on her, he wants to be nurtured by her, he wants to put on her boundaries etc
An alpha wants his girlfriend to take a daughter type of role: she relies on him, she wants to feel protected by him, she wants to know that she’s free but will be reigned when she’s crossed the line.
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masszealots 6y ago
Bait title.
I thought it was going to be about cooking or cleaning or something.
Opening up to a girl is a no go and any regular here knows that.
TheEgyptianConqueror 6y ago
You don't even have to be a regular here to know that. I was on askreddit a few days ago and there was a huge comment thread by men about how women ask for vulnerability but if you show it they instantly leave. It's pretty shitty, but it's well known by all except the super naive
afterthe_fapocalypse 6y ago
def would've been a lighter post!
RealityBitesU 6y ago
This is some prime autistic drivel, right here.
afterthe_fapocalypse 6y ago
interesting because your username dovetails well with the post title
monsieurhire2 6y ago
This seems relevant:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pUXyCXUko9g
Thunderbird93 6y ago
I realized this when I went through my initial diagnosis of schizophrenia. After jail and the psych ward I'd blocked some chicks on FB through paranoia. I tried reaching out to them and apologizing and explaining my condition, they didnt give a fuck
afterthe_fapocalypse 6y ago
Yeah. They're not there for your healing. I find that TRP gets it right with hypergamy. It's heroic to see otherwise, and definitely NOT the norm. Usually it's the man who sticks it out I hear. I know ONE woman who has stuck it out with a man; very staunch Catholic. Her husband had a seizure and lost his dental practice. Yet she sticks by him. She never disrespects him as far as I can see. Is she disappointed? Yeah. Does she want more from him? Yeah. But she's been there. And that's the only example I see.
RedIsBestColour 6y ago
Such examples are so rare. Yet they are repeated everytime on ppd as if they are the proof that women want emotional men. They don't
afterthe_fapocalypse 6y ago
David Tian in his presentation "The Reality of Women" at the U21 Convention said that its men. It's men who are addicted to the fantasy of the virtuous women. Our own narcissism, as Rian Stone would put it. Narcissim for fantasy.
It's not that women are so bad. They've always been deceitful and evil. You look as far back as Hesiod who in "Works and Days" wrote about the creation story of women in the Pandora myth. He was so red-pilled.
Women are liars and cheats. And it's men who are liars, because we lie about the women who cheat us.
linkinway 6y ago
I somewhat have disagreement here. While most women don't want to be supportive of men, they do expect men to be supportive of them. So while I agree you should not tell them your difficult life, but it's not because of the mother part; but that women love opportunistically not idealisticaly like we do. For them it's more about what we can provide them. That's why there is this red pill truth bomb that women cannot love men - check this - https://youtu.be/9YuSPF69Evk
I remember coming across this post where a guy had confessed crying to his girlfriend that he was raped when he was 14, his gf instead of supporting him lost all her respect for him because she thought he was a rough and tough man. So, you see, women cannot really love men is actually very true, and that's why they run this mother narrative. It's not that women have always been like this, its particularly prevalent in women today because of female hypergamy. But women who are able to control it, can really love men and thereby will be supportive of them.
potatorockstar 6y ago
maybe that chick was just an insensitive psychotic biatch. would all women, even the most empaths, respond how she did?
linkinway 6y ago
you are right, she went to extreme. but I am saying is to show a particular problem you have to show the extreme side of it. so that's why I exampled that. even though some women might be supportive of men on that (but there are many women who will rather ridicule men for that), the same truth still holds - women cannot love men when they cannot control their hypergamy. That's why in the traditional times there were more real relationships and so less of cheating, men could go on service/war for even a year and their wives would stay completey loyal to them - it was amazing.
at large male rape victims are usually ridiculed by women (talking about women in general not gfs).
afterthe_fapocalypse 6y ago
Brilliant post, and thanks for your disagreement. I agree with everything you said. The women I've known are not capable of loving men. There are a few that I've seen in the Catholic Church who if not come close, or at least simulate it. But I think Church is a good institution to put women in because it keeps them from going crazy like liberalism has done through feminism.
Anyway, I've heard that story about a guy confessing he was raped before. Amazing isn't it? Such a double standard. I saw that and had the same shock I'm experiencing again. Makes me so mad how men are just handed so much shit, women are given all the fucking credit, and yet it's US who bear the burden. People are even talking about how God is a woman now. Fucking absurd.
We go to each other and to God for our healing. Not to women. Women, as another user wrote in the comments here, women are not our soulmates.
Estrogenoxygen 6y ago
Sorta but you missed the second part to that thought- “women cannot really love men .... the way the a man wants to be loved” a beta man, See us guys have a tight bond with our mothers, flesh and blood, and then when we’re young adults getting frisky with females we expect the same unconditional love we received as children. Cold reality - besides family and close friends it doesn’t exist. Sure we can love and be loved but the one you need to learn to love is #1 first, others second.
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geo_gan 6y ago
Society: “men should express their emotions more” Reality: “men, do not express any emotional weakness to any woman you want to respect you from that point on”
afterthe_fapocalypse 6y ago
yeah, the guys I know who pull girls just lie to them all. girls eat that shit up. I'm not the kind to lie, but I'm seeing that my behavior, as evident from this post, has not been getting me in the position with women that I want to be in.
andreas-mgtow 6y ago
That is the key, never show weakness. Also, never get sick, laid off or old. It is that easy!.
You dodged a bullet by her breaking the engagement.
afterthe_fapocalypse 6y ago
oh absolutely; I'm very glad she's gone
YamahaRD350 6y ago
So true. People underestimate entropy and it’s creation of the inevitable.
sebastian_ramirez05 6y ago
I also have a psychotic mother dude it sucks
afterthe_fapocalypse 6y ago
There's a silver lining: you get to see how NOT to live life. And the more you blame them for their shitty behavior instead of yourself, the easier it gets to live. It has taken me a LONG time to lean away from "It's my fault" to "it's HER fault she acts this way". A LONG time.
Good book on this: Susan Forward "Toxic Parents" if you're interested
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sebastianconcept 6y ago
Correct. The best way to zero any attraction she might feel for you is to cognitive overload her with things she isn’t mature to help you deconstruct and articulate to the point you can feel you have a chance to properly diagnose hence layout a plan to surpass with real chances of success.
So why the fuck do that with a girl instead of doing what girls like: sexy playfully make them, feel girly.
In the other hand, they do appreciate if you can be a little bit of a father to them (hold frame)
good_guy_submitter 6y ago
Women are all "take" but that includes taking the d.
RockinRhombus 6y ago
Lol what a poet. Put this on a shirt and sell it
afterthe_fapocalypse 6y ago
yes. I was not in a position to father any of them in the playful and strong sense you described. not then. not now. but more now than then. it's a process, but TRP is great because with so many of you guys writing in I'm really consolidating a lot of good advice and pointers.
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[deleted] 6y ago
You can totally tell women about your difficult issues...but only after you've overcome them and can show that you're now a stronger guy and in control lol
BrownGummyBear 6y ago
Sad but true. That’s what good male friend are for though, they are he Ines we should rely on for this sort of stuff
afterthe_fapocalypse 6y ago
yes very true, other commenters have pointed out that my frame was wack from the beginning, and they're right. pointing out problems as a challenge instead of a burden, and coming from a position you're talking about as having overcome them. Not looking at them to be equal with me or anything.
potatorockstar 6y ago
men are success objects after all. compromising your own security image compromises her own idealised fantasies about you, and her sense of safety.
ikarianarsi 6y ago
Women absolutely want to be your mother, ie control you. Most women. I've been in sexual relationships with hundreds of women and almost all of them want to replace your mother as the fucking controlling factor in your life.
afterthe_fapocalypse 6y ago
that's interesting. I wonder if my perspective has blinded me to this option, in that a man who comes across as an alpha but then opens up to being beta, this will alienate a woman. But a woman who has been attracted to an alpha all along who won't break frame, maybe she tries to shit test him into being beta if he doesn't beta-fy himself.
ikarianarsi 6y ago
if you run into these women, just don't let them change you, and you're good.
afterthe_fapocalypse 6y ago
appreciate the advice. I'm hearing that a lot ... hold frame, don't let the women change you, answer to yourself and not your woman
BastaHR 6y ago
Yes, women are not our soulmates.
afterthe_fapocalypse 6y ago
wow. I had to read that a couple times. amazingly deep statement. wow. I'll be digesting this. this is literally a thousand posts in one concise compressed sentence. bam. thanks for that.
BastaHR 6y ago
A soulmate is someone you can share everything with. With women you can't do that or you're toast.
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MasculineTruth101 6y ago
No women want to be mothers, until being a mother brings them status, resources, and admiration. We live during the time of information. Everyone knows the healthiest babies are produced during late teens and early 20's. How many girls pursue this healthy offspring scenario in 2019? Zero percent.
Women only want to be mothers when their ONLY resource is running out, which is their beauty. With makeup, filters, etc nowadays, women are able to hold out until they are 35 to 40 years old, sometimes even older. I see it all the time in my city. A 50 year old woman with an autistic son, she wanted to have a kid to virtue signal that she has value but waited too damn long.
Women do not love at all, men love. Here's why. If women 'loved', they would've died during primal times trying to protect their kids too often, sometimes animals would attack and they'd simply have to let their young die. They are hardwired to put themselves first in every scenario, assuming every scenario they have a certain beauty value. Women just don't have the ability to truly love. They say they love Henry Caville, but you know if Henry Caville got into a car accident and lost his legs, they'd forget about him overnight. Men are different. I volunteed at the homeless shelter a few times last year and every single person helping was a male, and a few females over the age of 40.
KarmaOutlaw 6y ago
I can't ascertain that it's true that women don't love, but I'm very inclined to believe it with no proof.
afterthe_fapocalypse 6y ago
Very good points. Women want a strong man, but they don't want to give him any strength. User-oriented.
nixon993 6y ago
You were living in primal times.sounds like you are angry
spungebawbswegpants 6y ago
Lol i have to agree with you here, women can love but they can only love their children.
They will fight til the death for their babies.
PandaLitter 6y ago
Why are the homeless shelter volunteers mostly dudes?
throwaway_alt_slo 6y ago
They read all the wikihow 'How to get a girlfriend' and think they'll meet women there?
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KingOfAllWomen 6y ago
No matter how bad you want and think you need that sympathy - don't make yourself look weak to others.
This is beyond sexual strategy. Everyone in the world has problems. You are going to have to learn how to work through them yourself if you wish to be successful.
andyturbo2000 6y ago
Nothing but the calmest of seas should be discussed with your woman. If you turn into a whiny bitch, she’ll question your leadership. STFU and be the captain is key here.
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quercusp 6y ago
I see this advice as a rough generalization. The girl in OP's example obviously was immature and selfish. When you share your life with someone, at a certain time you also want to share your deeper feelings, including sorrows. Metoo I had a bad start into life and explained this some time ago to my wife, she understands and does not disqualify my qualities for that. The point is, you must not try to sell yourself with this burden "mentioned on the front side of your advert".
afterthe_fapocalypse 6y ago
Yeah, it's very general, you're right. And great point at the end of your post. Very true. I came from the wrong frame the whole time with this girl.