Human beings are creatures of habit. Patterns of thought and behavior make up everything that you are. Every strength of yours is just a pattern, every weakness of yours is just a pattern. Patterns and routines make up your day, so your life.
You are not a better or worse person, you just have better or worse habits. You're not bad or good at something, you just have effective or ineffective patterns when doing the thing.
At your best your habits will be better, at your worst your habits will be worse.
Everything is connected. Lifting heavy weights is connected to preparing your day. Confidence with women is connected with specific habits of mind, for example, positivity. When we see a woman the first thing we will do is think, more specifically we will make an assumption. This assumption will either be damnening or supportive and that will lead to your action or inaction. My buddies think I have confidence, the balls to approach but all I do is have a habit of focusing on what I like about her, while they have a habit of focusing on other things. There's no such thing as a "chad". What a guy with confidence has a habit of being focused on, I have a similar pattern, so our patterns of behavior overlap. Where I have a habit of thinking and seeing with the eye's of a frustrated dude, our behavior overlaps.
A lot has been written on habits, will power, discipline, self control etc. In the spirit of becoming the vision of who you are, I'd like you to look at anything you're having trouble with as a habit. Breaking it down into smaller, achievable, actionable steps, and committing to it for a set amount of time. Letting go of taking anything personally and looking at it with a fresh set of eyes. If you are a slob, can you be a slob that has a habit of cleaning his room for five minutes at the end of the day ? In time you will no longer be able to identify as a slob. If you're a chronic procrastinator, can you make a commitment to a morning routine where you schedule and prioritize your day ? If you're shy, can you make a habit of introducing yourself, asking others how they are doing or perhaps going somewhere new once a month ?
You're just a habit
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[deleted] 7y ago
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monsieurhire2 7y ago
That's a bit of a Manichean black/white way of looking at it.
It's not the tools that are the problem, exactly. It's that we haven't adapted quickly enough to use them effectively. It's all new to us. We are the pioneers, and many of us are going to wind up face down with arrows in our backs.
These tools can be used VERY productively. People use the internet to telecommute, to learn new skills, to meet people around the world, to trade assets, to avoid traffic, to find good restaurants, to learn languages, etc.
The problem is managing the tendency to get distracted.
Henry Rollins once wrote that he doesn't just casually go on the internet. He makes a list on paper of what he's going to do, and then he does it, and then he gets off and goes and does something else.
[deleted] 7y ago
One of the biggest philosophical debates is "Do people change? If so, how and why do they change?"
When you see yourself as nothing but a list of habits, it can be easier to ask "Do people change? If so, how can they change to get lots of sex?"
markinsinz7 7y ago
I wonder if it really works.
I mean I look at all the advice from lifting to holding frame and stuff but I feel like those are all unnatural.
But when you think of humans as compositions of habits then that changes everything. Suddenly it is quite possible to change.
I mean think of it like how war can change a man. Or prison or similar something intense for a long period of time.
But I think core traits may not be possibly changed.
Like I want to meet someone who was truly truly a chode beta man who never ever could talk to a girl and then one day through hard work is a slayer
tyronethejabrone 7y ago
People change through experiences. You are a collective, a product of every experience you have had in your life.
LordTilde 7y ago
"Whether you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right."
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flapjacksrbetter 7y ago
U are what u repeatedly do. Excellence is not an act but a habit
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LarsleDarsle 7y ago
Reality is creepy isn't it?
uwey 7y ago
Choice architecture.
When you think you do have choice, most of the time, you got the multiple choice questions that already predetermined your path. The illusion of choice give you hope....
Hope as the last shapeshifter reside in the box of Pandora.
Hope only prolong the TORMENT of a good man, that is why is the last evil that will be fuel the flame that cause you pain.