I'm with you my guy, I have believed in "bad shit happens to even the best of us, what matters is how you react to it". A few years ago my dad's company was about to go bankrupt, emphasizing "about to go". Him and mom had a falling and he moved to another city but you can do so much managing a company from far away.

I'm 100% sure if he gave up and declared bankruptcy I wouldn't be here blowing money on retarded shit, just like they wouldn't be putting up the new paintings they got from the auction a few nights ago. If he didn't apply himself 200% or whatever shit would have bee way, way different. Instead he pushed through and now business is better than ever.

I'd sort of want to rephrase the word negativity with "reality" but for the sake of making the point - negativity may be better term here.

When people say be positive it doesn’t mean to take negative emotions and turn them positive blindly it means to understand the negative but look at the bright side. You gotta know when to use the positivity don’t let it blind you from the truth and push you from your goals. If I break my arm it doesn’t mean I’m gonna ignore the fact that I broke my arm. I’m just gonna say at least “I’m not paralyzed”. Look at your blessings that’s all it means. Another example: being overweight. Don’t tell yourself “I’m not that fat”. Tell yourself “I’m fat but I will lose weight” and put in the work. Positivity has saved my life hope it saves yours.

"One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.” -C. Jung

I was literally thinking this while driving home last night. Even in Trump's book ART OF THE DEAL (don't pull this political bullshit, this 30 year old book is a gem) he talks about NEGATIVE thinking being an asset, because you ACCEPT THE WORST. Once you accept the worst, you're actually more empowered to take risks with an IDGAF attitude.

Too much blind positivity makes you gloss over important elements in problems that could actually get you further. It also makes you SUPER LAZY because you get complacent and feel "fine" with where you are. This is a disaster.

I've always said accept the worst, go in neutral, don't over-invest in outcome, and you'll probably do fantastic.

A lifetime of experience has taught me that optimism is one of the three pillars of success, with the other two being tenacity and discipline.

As men, if we have emotions, it means there is either something to think about, figure out, fix. This applies to happiness as well sadness and even grief.

[deleted]

I like this. Its a good reminder. Thanks.

The grown-man version of 'positivity' = fortitude. Valour.

Always be bigger than your task. Always be bigger than your task = Valour = the choice and willingness to confront agony, pain, danger, uncertainty, or intimidation = Never be Overwhelmed whatsoever, much less to the point that your Insight and your Virtues are affected.

You also have a spectrum of world-views;

(<-my life sucks --- I'm great and everyone else sucks -- we're a great team operating in successful synergy -- I'm GOD and fail-proof like the RMS TITANIC->)

The aim in the spectrum is to hold a rational frame.

That's not to say that '#POSITIVITY' isn't itself a great brand to associate with socially. It is.

Motivational New Age Positivism is a band aid for the mind. It may work short term.

One does have to roll with the punches and some of them are not pleasant. It's how you conduct yourself when you are down. With dignity and class. "Stiff Upper Lip" to quote the British.

There is no light without shadow. That’s the deal. You have to accept to go sometimes through hard times.

I wish people understood this. I have tried to explain to people about there being an emotional spectrum because we're supposed to feel all parts of the spectrum. Sadly, I have found that most are just hollow shells of humans circling their moniker and parroting their mantra, for whichever they choose.

"Accept yourself before you try convincing others to accept you " - aliezsid , 2018

I like this. I rarely feel good and use it as justification for waiting until I’m at my very best to do something. I’m going to start doing the shit I need to do because I need to do it and the result (even if a failure) is better than the alternative of achieving and learning absolutely nothing.

While I agree that you need to accept negative things in your life for what they are if there really out of your control or out of your control at the moment; saying fuck positivity is the worst possible advice you can give to anyone. Where would we be if we accepted negativity completely? Would we have put men on the moon, would we have discovered the new world, grown out of feudalism? These are very macro examples but the same is true On a micro scale. Also never underestimate the importance of guarding your thoughts and tending them like a garden

“Motivation is bullshit.

Be DRIVEN!!!” -David Goggins

I think it was in “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck” the author explains that if you took everyone that has/had some fucked up shit happen to them you’d have just about everyone. What sets people apart is how they deal with it. Victim culture is real these days and it’s being peddled in the news because it works.

Use the negative energy to drive yourself harder. I've always found that having a chip on my shoulder gets me where I want to be. Do shit that someone said you cant, prove them wrong.

I recommend you read "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck" by Mark Manson. You can be positive, by not giving a shit about shit that doesn't matter.

I like the motivational shit that tells you to stop turning a blind eye to the shit that bothers you and convinces you to get rid of it rather than hold on. That's what matters. That's what works.

get satisfaction from your accomplishments not fuckbook likes, iow

speaking about modern positivism, pretty much all "therapies" are based on thinking positively. well, negativity exists for a reason, most likely why one would seek help anyway. cutting all of it out is disabling half of your gut feeling, leading you to their weekly expensive "treatments". some food for thought

Everything under the sun that has happened to the billions upon billions of people throughout time can happen to you. We all get to take a bite of the shit sandwich and to insinuate that mine is bigger than yours, or to critique the way you chew is the least common denominator of butthurt.

I always make the most progress in the gym when im angry and depressed. I finally deadlifted 600 pounds the same month I lost 30% of my portfolio on the stock market. Embrace the anger and pain, life isnt just sunshine and rainbows.

There's a quote out there somewhere: "You're not supposed to wait for the storm to end, You're supposed to learn how to dance in the fucking rain." I love this post so much because the past 7 months I have truly gotten comfortable with eating up the dark times. Its a part of life, and is the one thing that makes boys into men. I found myself running away from the negativity and suffering and realized that it was just temp comfort. Its way better to relish the pain and suffering than run away from it!

Read "the motivation myth". The industry pretty much sells feels over reals.

I always liked that Jocko Video called “good” on YouTube. To me it’s the perfect mind altering video to look at things more positively even when something sucks.

Broken arm? Good. Now you can learn how to train with one arm.

Got cancer? Good. Finally an opponent of your caliber.

Got turned down by the girl? Good, Now you know what too do to learn from that.

Etc.

Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

Read more schopenhauer.

Move on.

I agree, we needs positivity to not drift into depression and nihilism, but being happy and positive all the time is for women, because they usually have someone sponsoring their positive world.

Matter of fact, negative talk from people about me is what fuels my motivation.

I read in the book 59 seconds (recommended) that research even confirms, we create more ambition when we envision a negative scenario, than a constant positive outlook.

Is this one of those anti-inspirational inspirational posts?

There’s light without shadow at Lahaina noon :p

Negative thinking is natural and was (and still is) part of human evolution. There will always be something we like and dislike, even if we pretend to smile and hide it. A typical healthy human mind will have a balance of positive and negative thoughts, and display a wide range of emotion including happiness, sadness, or anger.

David Goggins...Heard of him? Sounds familiar...

You don't know what your shadow is, do you? Seems like you tried to shoehorn it in your argument without any understanding.

Your shadow is basically you projecting onto others what you're actually doing but in denial of it.

Positive thinking and affirmations are useless unless you HAVE A REASON for those positive thoughts and affirmations.

If all you do is sit on the coach all day and think positive thoughts, how you are going to have a million dollars and tons of girls, aint shit going to happen..

You need reasons to be positive.

For example, I am going to approach 50 girls today and try this new technique I learned. If I fail, ill adjust and try another 50 tomorrow. I know if I keep doing this I am going to get better and better, etc.

It isn't settling for anything, you will always pursue a tolerable level work for an end. I've never understood why others stress so hard over matters that have to value to them at all. You're correct, fuck the utilitarian definition of positivity and the thin shroud of motivation. The only thing you ever have to accept in life is that nobody is going to do it for you.

I disagree with this.

Yes, the struggle is real and the best things in life come from doing the difficult things.

However seeing the positive side of everything and having a confident, positive attitude gives you the best chance of pulling off risky and difficult endeavours.

On another note coping with failure leads to depression.

Depression is simply not productive, we should all want to build power and increase value. Sitting at home negative and depressed is not powerful nor is it conducive to increasing value. You know who is increasing value; the cocky prick at your work who has a massive eg, loves his life and loves doing better than his colleagues at work.

Having a positive attitude through failure allows you to see the lessons that failure teaches, embracing the negative side leads to emotional pitfalls and wallowing where you feel bad about yourself for failing. People do not take positive, useful lessons from failure this way rather they wallow in it and extend the negative effect of failure.

TRP is seeing the truth through lies, here is the truth.