Hello ladies!
Obligatory “long time follower, first time poster”, though I did occasionally comment here and there. I am also on mobile so please bear with me regarding formatting.
I (24f), have followed the RPW sub for a little over a year, but only recently began practicing it over the last 6 or so months in my relationship once I felt I had a solid enough grasp on the theory to put it into realistic practice. I have been working on my femininity and submission in general for the last 3 years I would say, but this sub has been extraordinarily helpful in offering these ideas as tactical behaviors rather than just general concepts and ideas. I wasn’t coming into a lot of RPW theory cold, but it was a refresher and a wake up for a lot of things. Some of what I’d been doing in previous relationships and dating I had thought was the way to go and had been wondering why I wasn’t getting the results or as strong of a reaction as I’d been hoping. All of it had been well intentioned, just a bit misguided.
I started practicing RPW at the beginning of my new relationship (he is 25m). We have been together for about 6 months now. I had spent the 6 months before that vetting him and learning, as stated previously, before determining he has the qualities I was looking for in a Captain. A big part of my takeaway from RPW is the recommended idea of “take what works and leave the rest”. My Captain genuinely prefers a bit of sass from me, lighthearted teasing, and feistiness. These traits of my personality are actually what attracted him to me in the first place. He loves /earning/ my submission to him occasionally instead of me just offering it outright on a silver platter. But as with all men, this teasing and sass is never done in public in front of his friends, coworkers, or other men in general, and it’s important to know when to bring this out and when he needs loving deference.
Onto the big parts of theory I’ve decided to put into practice.
The art of STFU. Many times in my life I have found it difficult to hold my tongue, often to no avail. Learning this form of self control, allowing him to take the lead and not offering unsolicited advice has been major for both of us. He consistently tells me how he appreciates my respect toward him and his ability to make decisions!
Accepting him as he is. I’ve always been someone who tried to “fix” people, including previous romantic partners. Until discovering RPW, I had never realized how domineering and emasculating this comes across as I was not aware men read this as distrust and us viewing them as inadequate. Now, I offer advice only when it’s asked of me, which actually ends up being somewhat frequently because he values my input and knows I believe he’s going to make the right choice.
Complimenting his masculinity and juxtaposing it with my femininity. Real world example, the house he lives in had no shower in the downstairs bathroom, and the basement was finished but empty. He spent two weekends installing a complete shower and turning the basement into a home theater with surround sound and a huge projector and screen. He was so excited to show me! I of course gushed to him about it and told him he did an excellent job, and how I was so happy he is such a capable man who can do things like that, is so handy, and smart enough to figure all of those things out. He spent the rest of the night beaming, and showed up at my place the next day with flowers!
There are of course many other things, both big and smaller day to day ones. But what inspired me to make this post was our phone conversation earlier. He was talking to me about some stress he’s been feeling at work lately, he did not want advice, just to be heard and receive some affirmations. I told him I was proud of him for how hard he had been working lately, and that he was an intelligent man who is very good at his job and would pull through. He took a deep breath and said
“SweetDovely, I’m so happy with you. You really make me feel like a man and feel so loved in a way like I’ve never felt before.”
I was so over the moon! We talked some more and ended the call with him saying he’d be taking me on a nice dinner date this weekend and to the theater (which we both love). I just wanted to share this success moment, there’s been many others, but this one was so special I had to share with the community that made it all possible! :)
tgrneal 3y ago
Congrats!
amadexodus 3y ago
STFU is underrated. I've learned to trust the way my man will handle any bad or uncomfortable situation that may befall us. Glad you shared your success -- I shared a FR of my own recently as well, so I know how exciting it is when RPW works in your relationship.
sweetdovely 3y ago
STFU is definitely the one I struggled with the most! I’ve always been a very opinionated and somewhat bossy girl. But I have to say it’s been so nice to take a load off and let him handle things! I have so much more mental and physical energy because of it and he feels respected. Win-win! Congratulations on your success as well :)
_johnfketamine 3y ago
My now husband said something similar to me at the beginning of our relationship, along the lines of how I made him feel loved like no one else. RPW theory works! So happy for you ❤️
goddessoflove1234 3y ago
Awww!!!
lamahopper 3y ago
I love this! Well done!
statuseffect_ 3y ago
This sounds really nice but IMO all relationships should show interest, praise and respect. It sounds like the way you two are behaving toward one another is just a normal respectful relationship. If you don’t admire and respect the person you are with - and genuinely have an interest in them - then why be with them in the first place.
MysticalMelody 3y ago
I see what you mean here, and for someone in this community this seems like common sense, but I do want to give OP credit for applying specific RPW values to her relationship. Some of these behaviors are not necessarily intuitive, especially if it has not been part of your life before RPW. Role models for feminine behavior are getting fewer and farther between to find. I often feel gratitude for having this place to go to remind me the importance of femininity and the rewards of supporting masculinity in specific ways.
sweetdovely 3y ago
Exactly! Like I said in my post, some things I’d previously been doing I had intuitively thought were the way to go/what was needed. I realized because of this sub that I’d been treating them how I had wanted to be treated in those previous relationships. For example, when making big choices, I prefer to be questioned about things and talk them through with another person whereas a man views this as disrespect unless he specifically asks for said questioning and conversation
statuseffect_ 3y ago
Absolutely! I definitely see what you’re saying. And credit is due for sure - I especially love the STFU one which is something I need to work on. And also just not being in control all the time.
Yung4Yrs 3y ago
OMG Mystical, for a women who grew up under lib parents and is a feminist, wow is that an understatement. :)) Bless you all here. Hope for our culture lives in this place.
wallerbelt 3y ago
Every girl need to follow this sub!
wannaberunner131 3y ago
This is so heart warming. I'm happy for you
[deleted] 3y ago
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sweetdovely 3y ago
I actually met my man through a mutual friend he knew from college and I knew from a theater group!