Summary: Tinder's objective is to keep you using Tinder.
Body: App developers love their "user engagement" metrics, which is a fancy way of saying "how addicted their users are". For dating apps, success for a user means not needing the app any more, which means that their goals are not your goals. OKCupid used to have an article called why you should never pay for online dating, which was quietly removed after they sold to match.com (thankfully the wayback machine sees all, and it's been archived).
Tinder does not exist to help you meet hot girls, Tinder exists to keep you using Tinder.
If you've worn a groove into your screen from swiping, and in particular if you've run it out to "there's no-one new around you", Tinder knows that you're hooked. If you're hooked and keep checking back on an empty queue, they have no incentive to show you anyone you might match. You're right where they want you, checking back and looking at ads (or even paying for boosts/super-likes/gold) but not getting anything in return. That's the best damn deal in the universe! They don't want to change that, and keeping a hooked user doesn't take much: dangle a like or two in front of a chump (even if from a landwhale) and he'll keep checking back.
Similarly for messaging: Paused users will show up in your matches, and you can message them, but of course they'll never reply. If they ever reactivate, they'll match newer guys and not bother talking to you. Why would Tinder bother showing you girls that reply, if you're "engaged" and happily messaging ones that won't?
These apps are useful, but remember that their goals are not your goals.
Lessons Learned:
- Use Tinder in short bursts, so they need to show you better chicks to keep you coming back.
- Delete your account and wait a month if you've told their systems that you're a chump.
- Move girls off Tinder's messaging ASAP so you aren't messaging the void.
- Learn some IRL game so Tinder isn't your only option.
Sexquestionhelp22 5y ago
Tinder is an app for average looking girls to bang the very top percent of alphas. I saw a good writeup of this on TRP once including numbers, need to dig it up. Girl's overestimate their market value and only right swipe on the very top guys, whereas guys are more gracious / realistic. In the end, the girls end up getting burned after getting banged out by a few guys who never talk to them again, hence the prevalence of "no hookups" in girl's bios. Every time I see that, I think to myself, 'wow, why not just write I got banged out by some major studs on tinder and now i'm lowering my standards to see if a guy will actually call me back for once'
simplisticallysimple 5y ago
I don't understand the Tinder hate. It's a valuable tool in your arsenal. Why discount it? Unless you aren't having any success on it... in which case lay off the sour grapes.
[deleted] 5y ago
Just banged a smoking hot 21 year old off Tinder. She said she was only looking for a relationship. I kissed her. She melted. We fucked. YouMadBro?
ApexPredatorrr 5y ago
This girl off tinder gave me great fucking head. 10/10 would do again
syn1us 5y ago
I got 33 matches in the first 24 hours, and only 10 more in the other 6 days of the week. Fuck Tinder, I am going to the club.
[deleted] 5y ago
So why didn't you set up like 5-10 dates with those 43 matches you got in a week? Seems like that could keep you rolling in pussy for a while.
syn1us 5y ago
I am currently trying to set up dates with 6 of them, but the amount of flaking that happens here is incredible.
trp369 5y ago
Similar to me. I get about 20-30 matches in the first day of a new account and then only like 3-5 a day
throwawayteazy88 5y ago
I'm in a LTR and been on Tinder for some time now to score some fun on the side. Fucked two girls so far. Had three more that were DTF but the logistics didn't work out, and another potential I'm planning to meet soon.
Demiurge_Decline 5y ago
I don't use Tinder because I am in a LTR but if its anything like FB, I would say that 90% of it is more than likely attention seeking and validation if it has anything to do with women. Lastly, because sex is free for women and there are always white knights and orbitors even for the 4's and below, I would say any woman over a 6 on Tinder has some huge issues and it is a waving red flag. Flag may not be big enough not to screw her, but its a flag and be weary of the after taste. If you find an LTR on Tinder or any of these dating apps, you deserve what you get.
casemodz 5y ago
It definitely is mostly for attention but I've met about 6 girls from tinder and 4/6 I've boned. I'm a good looking guy (good face, meh body (beer belly), meh personality, meh job...I'm not exactly fit for higher ranked women...
It's definitely better in real life.
[deleted] 5y ago
I’ve met about 30 chicks last year off Tinder and boned 23. Lots of 6s, some 5s, a few 7s and two 8s. It’s not worth your time. You’re so better off in real life. Even night game is better.
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bcool87 5y ago
I'm a handsome black dude. I do well on Tinder and Hinge (maybe 200 matches on my current Hinge account). A lot of 7s. But some 8s and 9s. Got a few professional photos thanks to a model friend and have solid text game. You get a lot of flakes but I mainly rely on nightgame and online dating and have a steady rotation.
[deleted] 5y ago
It’s mostly because I have an attractive face. Not fashion model level but could do commercial modeling. And I don’t even have any shirtless photos (not jacked yet). Literally they’re all selfies and I do just fine with matches (10 per day usually). However 90% of chicks use ir just for validation so it’s simply not worth it.
ScoutEU 5y ago
The older I get the more I realise that everything in moderation is the only lesson one needs in life.
Is tinder bad? No, not really, in moderation. Is Facebook bad? No, not really, in moderation.
Too many people have black and white views where in reality nothing is ever that simple.
gbdoragnic 5y ago
It's important when using these apps as simply supplemental sex, using 3-4 sites will trickle in engagement with very little effort. Tinder is playing games now but for good reason , a lot of app are now catering to women and rightfully so, they are the main draw, and they get 100 messages a day on average , in a capitalistic system where business optimization must occur , we should expect things to not get easier for men.
Many of these girls are simply living their cashapp and IG on their profiles and so many simps do it ,
ZidaneLoire 5y ago
I stopped using tinder because approaching gives me more of a rush when I succeed.
It's kind of addictive once you get the ball rolling.
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Scandinavianredpill 5y ago
No such problem. I delete tinder, go back on there swipe my 100 swipes and can get my dick wet for weeks.
Stop mentally masturbating over it and use your energy on other more productive things. Who know's that might make you more interesting / attractive and get you laid.
[deleted] 5y ago
I've actively been using Tinder for over a year now and all I can say is it's a validation machine.
Can you get laid off it? Sure. But even night game is more effective. You can waste hours gaming multiple women at the same time. I've had days where I was actively chatting with 20 women, and set up more than 10 dates a week. On average, usually 2 or 3 would actually show up (on a good week).
So yes, it's not worth it. Use it when you have absolutely nothing else better to do and be 100% indifferent towards what women say or do in these apps. You don't exist to them until you've met IRL.
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geo_gan 5y ago
Tinder is a male meat-market for "good looking" women. It is designed to suit their needs more than any men. That's why I wouldn't be bothered following the advice of those blue-pill website articles usually written by women telling men how to create the best Tinder profiles and what to do & not do on the profiles. you are just playing into the female game, and becoming some sort of throwaway yes/no game trying to fulfill all these ridiculous female needs and wants to get a yes from them. If females want to see me and take notice of me, I am on the streets of the town 5 days a week, and I usually get much more notice there than any stupid old Tinder profile photos.
hugeandhungry 5y ago
In my 44 years, never had luck on the cold approach. Fucked literally hundreds of girls ever since tinder came out, 77 girls this year alone. I still live a full life of gym, work and travel. Tinder is merely a convenient outlet for me to fuck girls on tap with little effort or time investment.
I think I have confidence, good communication and always on self improvement bent, but I've never done well with real life game. Tinder etc just allow me to display my personality and strengths better in a non threatening environment.
gamerr222 5y ago
Tinder is a place solely for people who are looking for some action to meet each other. It takes out the whole “does she have a boyfriend”/“will she respond to the approach” out of the equation. I don’t have the time to approach women in public given my work schedule. Tinder allows me to bypass all of that. It’s a win-win. If the end goal is getting laid, who cares about the process?
Brantmobile 5y ago
I'm with you here. I've had good success there for some long time and continue to do so. It takes no effort and, if you're smart about it, you can reap great seeds from it.
With a tight schedule revolving around work, gym, education, reading, house chores, etc, Tinder is a good tool in my toolbox. A lot of people seem to want to make it to be a black and white matter (unsurprisingly).
jonpe87 5y ago
e fucking xactly!! got a match, call her for a drink, yes or no.. no? next..
DancesWithPugs 5y ago
We could care about the possible effects of the process on users.
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7mile_ 5y ago
How is there no improvement of social skills and communication when you're going on actual dates?
[deleted] 5y ago
Some goes straight to the fucking
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RedHoodhandles 5y ago
It's not black and white like that. Tinder and social media is here and it's here to stay. But I welcome you and others to stay off Tinder. Better market conditions for the rest of us.
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geo_gan 5y ago
Yep. Mostly oddballs and losers and crazies. If you see an amazingly good looking girl profile, she is there just for attention/validation, she would have gotten thousands of matches in a few days and then ignored or deleted account, and she definitely has a boyfriend. I saw a youtube video where a good looking girl created an account for a laugh, and instantly got matched continuosly with all these 8/9/10 guys and she began throwing comments at them, answering 6 or 7 of them at the same time, and all the time getting new matches. After literally 10 minutes, her account was blocked by Tinder, as the algorithm thought she was some fake robot account ffs!
Movinfast1114 5y ago
I fucked a girl off tinder ln. Took almost zero work and there are a ton more on tinder swiping all day. I would say that if you only are on tinder and not going up to girls then yes that is pathetic but for anyone looking to find girls use tinder and go out.
banthrow 5y ago
What's the difference with fucking a whore?
Skyhawk_And_Skyhead 5y ago
cost.
Whore=hard earned money
Tinder Slut= what ever I neglected to do whilst taking a shit
CloudGuide 5y ago
Also a sense of accomplishment!
RcktDoctor 5y ago
All women are whores, some are just unowned. The problem is, it's not "nice" to recognize this fact about women in our female run society. Older cultures undsertood this which is why they had so much to say about female sexual predilections being unattached to "love". I know I'm drawing a fine line between whore and prostitute but that's a donkey we can beat another day.
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Movinfast1114 5y ago
A whore costs money and for me its even more pathetic than using social media to try and fuck. If you don't think that in todays world people are using social media to meet even more women or to display that they are attractive then you are being closed minded. You can also use social media to your best ability to make you seem fun, and worthy to hook up with. You realistically to the same exact thing to women.....
Also keep in mind that I was getting zero pussy in the beggining of the year. Keep up at working on yourself (gym, and improving your social skills). It takes effort while a whore takes zero effort.
banthrow 5y ago
A whore takes effort, money don't grow in trees. Also there are several levels of whores. You can easily fuck a 9, in fact you shouldn't fuck any whore if it's less than a 9.
Movinfast1114 5y ago
Im not saying my way is the only correct way. If you want to spend your money (time) on whores then thats what you are choosing is best. You are always going to have to bring straight money to be with the whore. At least with trying to find girls call them slutty or not they are meeting on the basis of having fun and hooking up not strictly money although money helps tremendously.
banthrow 5y ago
Dude a whore is way, way cheaper. Dont fool yourself.
Movinfast1114 5y ago
Im sorry man but you my friend are stubborn. The tinder girl I banged came over and I fucked her twice. I only spent money on condoms
geo_gan 5y ago
The other good thing about checking out and pre-selecting what you actually like IRL as opposed to Tinder, is you are not looking at some 5+ year old photos from when she was actually 18-23 and thin and good looking compared to what she looks like now, which is usually much worse. Really those online dating apps should follow the Chaturbate method of displaying profiles/picture by only showing the current live situation somehow and not some ancient best-of-best photos (Chaturbate updates the thumbnails every minute or two from live video stream so you see what they look like NOW).
BurnoutRS 5y ago
notice how the more advanced our technology gets, the less they let you see how it works. In terms of what you actually get to interact with and configure for dating apps.
POF is a really good example. I live in a smaller city, the population is still in the hundreds of thousands though and reasonably speaking, I know theres way more girls using that and similar apps than what I actually get shown. Case and point being when you make alternate profiles on the same day for the same location and get shown completely different girls.
If a dating app really wants to connect you with people, you would think it would care about proximity. Instead, since its clearly trying to show me specific profiles it thinks im more likely to be interested in, I get shown girls from bigger cities, 100km away.
im prolly wrong on some counts of how I believe their algorithms work. Im not a programmer. But theres enough going on that I picked up on some patterns.
also if you use dating apps do yourself a favor and make a fake account as a girl. Sometimes seeing the other guys on there can be good for you. Whether its insight into how not to message girls or just that extra push to get out in the real world that comes from not wanting to be lumped in with one of thise sad faggots
DeontologicalSanders 5y ago
Lol so true. By far the best part of their hook is that it's masked by plausible deniability. It's brilliant, really.
"Oh well if you aren't getting matches, you must not have a quality profile, you must not be trying hard enough" or the ultimate character assassination "you must not be exceptionally attractive".
Of course, no one wants to admit to any of that, so better keep your head down and keep swiping like a good boy, you useless, brainless consumer-drone pussy-hound fuck.
DancesWithPugs 5y ago
Long story short for me, no action on swipe apps, plenty elsewhere. I thought to myself, don't drop your money and hone my skills for the phone skank world... you guys if you develop your real world life you will meet plenty of interesting people.
FrankieFeedler 5y ago
I suspect that you live in the US or some other place where people are fairly open? Because I can see that working there. But where I live, you're basically not allowed to talk to strangers. They will look at you like "Leave me alone, you creep" and be very curt until you leave.
Had another experience like this just yesterday. Went to a tour of a co-working space and struck up a conversation with a local woman - very icy. Then an immigrant from the US showed up and chatting with him was as easy like we've already known one another. And I've made similar experiences with people from Spain, Iran, Australia and more.
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zyqkvx 5y ago
Finally someone who understands how businesses can use software to do the most fucked up things.
strikethrough123 5y ago
I usually get 50+ matches on the first couple weeks of a new account, then it dwindles down from there.
Get Tinder > Make an account > Get matches > Get plates > Delete your account > Enjoy plates for a month or two > Make new account > Repeat
atticusfinch1973 5y ago
This is exactly what I always did. And it worked like a charm every time.
askmrcia 5y ago
If you played Japanese gatcha mobile games like dbz or bleach, we call this method "re rolling."
People delete their accounts and start new ones. When you start a new account you get a boost of in game currency (aka your profile being pushed to the top in tinder).
The longer you play your in game currency will run out. So you can either grind like a mutha fucka (aka swipe right for days) or buy in game currency with your real money.
Which is the same as tinder users buying boosts and superlikes with their real money.
These apps are all the same.
geo_gan 5y ago
This works because you are unknowingly taking advantage of the way the Tinder matching algorithms are set up - they apparently jump new users up to a higher priority and show these profiles to more people at first in order to get new users hooked into thinking the system is amazing.
amaston789 5y ago
To add to this, they also track how many left/right swipes and messages each user gets, so they can quickly estimate how attractive a user’s profile is. I would be surprised if they didn’t use algorithms to study a user’s photos as well. If their goal is to keep users on the platform for as long as possible, an easy way would be to ensure mismatching of attractiveness.
SmokedSalmon5 5y ago
Do you simply refresh your current account or do you have to create a new Facebook account everytime?
ColdbloodedEdward 5y ago
make a dedicated fuckbook for doing the tinder cycles, yes delete in every way shape or form
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[deleted] 5y ago
you can, you just don't want t o.
99.9% chance the same people you're messaging A) have a cell phone number to receive text messages B)Have itnernet sot hey could use "fake phone" apps like textfree and C) own an actual calendar.
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[deleted] 5y ago
This should be common sense. Tinder is a business. Tinder doesn’t give a fuck about you they care about you spending time and money on their site.
max_peenor 5y ago
Why is there no "No shit, Einstein" option when reporting a post?
Martysteiner 5y ago
I'm in an eastern EU country and get a lot of matches.
I managed to hold a conversation with one woman, and we texted really really long, literally talking from "how I liked this country" to "do you know X bar Y club etc."
I don't like texting much, but I wanted to see what tinder seems here.
I like tinder, but it must take only a couple of minutes of your daily life.
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Jace910 5y ago
I'm a black male with an 8 SMV but I feel like this apps just are for us. I've since focused on my IRL game with success.
I feel like ppl only swipe right on clean cut white guys or "ordinarily average" looking people. I don't know how to explain it. Anybody understand what I'm trying to say?
I
BrownGummyBear 5y ago
No, im brown and Native American and have matched plenty with white girls. It’s not the color of your skin what’s the problem...
duntoon 5y ago
Tinder is more suited for guys who are conventionally attractive. If you're a minority, nerdy or some other outlier, online dating is just shit in general. Too many women with a shopping list of requirements.
HerefortheTuna 5y ago
Idk I do pretty well as a biracial guy. But I put 6’3” in my profile
Jace910 5y ago
"Conventionally Attractive". Thanks for the terminology. Been trying to figure out how to describe my situation.